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« Maybe You Can Take It With You | Main | Pentagon Cheers CIA Shake Up »
November 18, 2004

Update on Kim Jong Ill?

Diggers Realm has a NYT piece on the myster of the disappearing portraits.

There's a sweet and new and important-sounding nugget in there, which I won't tell you about, because, hey, he found it.

I'll give away the funny part, though:

There has been no official reaction from North Korea to the reports. But a North Korean diplomat in Moscow was quoted Tuesday by Itar-Tass as saying: "This is false information, lies. Can the sun be removed from the sky? It is not possible."

You gotta love lunatic-dysfunctional Communist pariah states. They're so damn quotable.

This Is Serious Update: Instapundit notes that NK radio is dropping the "Dear Leader" honorific from reports about Kim.

That's not good for Kim. That's like when the person you're dating suddenly begs out of that that long-planned tour of Vermont's bed-and-breakfasts.

Next thing you know and the North Korean army says "We need to talk."

And then you find all your clothes and CD's out on the curb, which you don't mind all that much, because you're more bothered by the fact that you've been shot three times in the back of the head, which is the totalitarian crazystate way of saying "I like you, but I don't like like you."

I [Heart] Recycling Update: After North Korea media reported, straight-facedly, that Li'l Kim had shot thirty-eight under par his first time on the golf course, my crack research staff discovered these Top Ten Lesser-Known Kim Accomplishments.

Does floating blue and bloated and dead in the Sea of Japan count as a sporting achievement, I wonder?

Update: Power Line has more.


posted by Ace at 02:17 PM
Comments



Yeah, I shoulda bolded that part of the story as "the important part".

heh

Posted by: Digger on November 18, 2004 02:22 PM

I hear the Stooges are looking to regroup. Kim would make a most excellent Larry.

Posted by: Ron on November 18, 2004 02:47 PM

i fear frankie muniz is behind this. damn him.

Posted by: sonofnixon on November 18, 2004 02:48 PM

I got to thinking... WHat use the old boy, if he's on the outs with his security forces? My idea...

http://www.metallicity.com/mbdirect.asp?ID=222

;)

Posted by: Bryan on November 18, 2004 02:56 PM

Holy fuck... He's been deposed. Whoever has ousted him wants to keep the people in their cattle pens, but has begun to relax some of the god worshop that goes on around him in order to smooth the transition to the new great leader. Amazing.

Posted by: mcgurk on November 18, 2004 03:39 PM

Actually, with Kim, breaking up would be like cleaning out the Delta House. Otter's marital aids combined with Bluto's bottles of booze.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 18, 2004 03:41 PM

If North Korea can be freed, dare we hope for liberation in New York?

Posted by: Iblis on November 18, 2004 03:41 PM

I'm so RONERY!


I too think Kim got Canned! We can only hope that the General who axed him is more like General Mushareff than General Arrafat.

I think NK's top military brass got a copy of Team America and just gave up.

Posted by: StreetGOP on November 18, 2004 04:20 PM

Iblis,

Don't count on it. Hillary's still in her prime.

Everyone,

I've got a link round-up and analysis here.

Posted by: Sobek on November 18, 2004 04:22 PM

Now that Kim's consort is out of the picture, Madeline Albright has been calling and promising him a spot on her casting couch for her off-Broadway release of Team America (them being old drinking buddies and all.)

Flashback: "You do shots? Go ahead, wolf it! That a girl!"

Posted by: capitano on November 18, 2004 04:47 PM

I blame Trey Parker and Matt Stone for making Kim the guy at "Shitty Wok" with Catman's attitude in Team America.

No dictator can survive such ridicule . . .

Posted by: hobgoblin on November 18, 2004 05:05 PM

And on a related note, NASA has confirmed reports of a tiny space ship seen flying out of the Northern part of the Korean pennensula, piloted by what is reported to be a small cockroach like creature.

The only transmission recieved from the creature was the cryptic message "Arek Bardwin, you are usress!" sent just before the craft departed the Earth's atmosphere...

Posted by: Scott Free on November 18, 2004 07:26 PM

Laugh it now, pig-dogs!

Posted by: Kim Chong-il on November 18, 2004 08:55 PM

Gosh, is there *anything* Karl Rove can't do?

Cordially...

Posted by: Rick on November 18, 2004 09:45 PM

Hey Rick, thanks for the bump!

Cordially,
KR

Posted by: Karl Rove on November 19, 2004 01:52 PM

hehe... I still love you... I'm just not in love with you anymore...

Posted by: Madfish Willie on November 19, 2004 03:34 PM

In your free time, check some information about... Thanks!!!

Posted by: on March 31, 2005 07:35 PM
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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove
Chris
@chriswithans

aaahahaa.jpg


"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
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I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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