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November 16, 2004

There's Hope For Me Yet

If you agree with me that the new 7 series looks like a Maxima then this is your chance to own the best example of an e38 body style you will ever find. Originally priced at over $92,000! Before I owned this car I couldn't get a date to save my life. Now, I am dating a beautiful Russian model. No more Star Trek conventions and Dungeon's and Dragons for me!

Does it really have to be either/or? Seriously. The hot Russian model is nice and all, but I just finally found a miniature that looks like my character is supposed to look.

Thanks to cthulhu, who says he got it from Fark.com.

Thanks to the commenters who filled me in on Fark. It's a funny site. I'll have to check it out from time to time and steal their stuff.

posted by Ace at 11:42 PM

Comments

Eastern European models and, especially, porn stars always kinda bug me. They may be hot and all, but I can never shake the feeling that they're going to smile and flash a set of Soviet-era cast-iron bridgework or something.

Posted by: Jeff Harrell on November 17, 2004 12:19 AM

Fark.

Posted by: someone on November 17, 2004 12:35 AM

Yo, you're kidding about not knowing what Fark is...right?

//mind is blown//

Posted by: fat kid on November 17, 2004 12:54 AM

Ace,

As it turns out, I drive 2001 740iL (no, really I do).

And yes, I can vouch for that ad and say a car like that does help get you dates with former Eastern-bloc or Soviet-state models.

The most recent for me was a real honey from Uzbekistan.

Now admittedly, I have no idea whatsoever about Dungeons and Dragons, but short of all that "mad money" you've been waitin' on, a bitchin' set of wheels like these could be "just what the doctor ordered."

Fark or no-Fark.

I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: MeTooThen on November 17, 2004 06:44 AM

Whenever I hear "Russian model" I think of the Flaming Moe episode of the Simpsons. Moe's trying to hook up and the "girl" tells him in broken English about her penis falling off.

Posted by: michael dennis on November 17, 2004 06:48 AM

There was a car in that picture?

Posted by: Steve L. on November 17, 2004 08:31 AM

As Russian "models" go, that poor soul apperenlty has his vodka goggles on. Compard to the average Russian lass, that girl would be used to feed the pigs.

In addition to that, a BMW 7 series is for shit!A '68 428 Shelby Mustang GT500 would leave it panting for breath. Whoever that poor soul is; he would be better advised to stick to D&D and memorize the dialouge to the "Dagger of the Mind" episode in Star Trek while silently whimpering to himself in his parents basement.

Posted by: Swiftsure aka Vinny Falcone on November 17, 2004 08:52 AM

heh - don't miss the fine print

"Beautiful Russian model and bottle of Viagra not included."

Oh well, I'll just keep lookin.

Posted by: dave on November 17, 2004 08:57 AM

That picture conjures up but one thought:

"Like a Viking."

'Nuff said.

Posted by: senator philabuster on November 17, 2004 09:08 AM

A V-12???? Everyone knows Russians girls can get picked up easily with just a V-8.

Posted by: Master of None on November 17, 2004 10:03 AM

Swiftsure aka Vinny Falcone

Yes, a '68 Shelby is hot, to be sure. But you'll likely get more action from gear-head guys than girls with it. Same is true of a Shelby Cobra. (BTW, I met Carroll Shelby while in college. Neat.)

Master of None

The car in the photo, I am guessing is a V-8. The 750il is the V-12. And yes, "Russian" girls (including those from the Ukraine, Byelorus, all the "Stans") can be had with an "8".

Believe me on this one.

Posted by: MeTooThen on November 17, 2004 11:13 AM

Master of None

I.am.a.Dork.

I should clicked the link.

OK, it is the 750.

Still, all you need is an "8".

I.am.Still.a.Dork.

Posted by: MeTooThen on November 17, 2004 11:20 AM

Ace,

I really though you of all people would have a TotalFark account. Fark is the paragon of immaturity and pointless flaming threads on the net.

I am truly shocked.

Plus the photoshop threads are usually quite creative. Talk about in-jokes, though. You have to read Fark for months just to get up to speed on the recent ones.

Posted by: hobgoblin on November 17, 2004 12:00 PM

What is wrong with you people? There's a girl in a mini-skirt in the picture and you're discussing the car!

Posted by: Steve L. on November 17, 2004 12:38 PM

She's a little flabby and flat, isn't she? Not that I wouldn't hit it, but still ... I've got a better-looking Russian model than that one, and all I drive is a 10-year-old Celica that's pushing 200K miles.

Posted by: Alex on November 17, 2004 01:45 PM

I'm reminded of the fake Jaguar ad campaign that the patients in the mental facility of "Crazy People" came up with. As well as the idea line for Porsche. "It's a little too small to get laid IN it, but you get laid the minute you get out of it! "

Posted by: Chrees on November 17, 2004 02:30 PM

Alex

I've got a better-looking Russian model than that one,

Prove it. :)

/Instigating

Posted by: fat kid on November 17, 2004 04:45 PM

FatKid,

You can see her in this clip:

http://www.ifilm.com/viralvideo?ifilmid=2423865

She's the second one.

Posted by: Alex on November 17, 2004 05:11 PM

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