Top Ten Reasons Babs Thinks She Lost the Election

10. She failed to mobilize 25% of Jews.

9. She failed to mobilize 23% of homosexuals.

8. Robert Redford is her inforcer.

7. Mary Cheney writes her fanzine.

6. The "kept-man" vote didn't show the way she'd demanded.

5. The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996)

4. Nuts (1987) (see #3)

3. "KNOWING ABOUT THE IMPENDING HIJACKINGS, Bush did nothing to beef up airline security..."

2. What with all the thesipians in her neighborhood, she eventually ran out of crack.

And the #1 reason Babs thinks the Liberals lost the election.

1. Trey Parker.

Thank you.

Here ya go: My chock-full-o-links Top Ten List.

Enjoy!

1) Temporary fling with Don Johnson "just killed it for Florida".

2) "I told him to do a couple laps wearing my 'lucky' oversized boxing gloves from The Main Event Instead he does that stupid duck hunting thing"

3)damn those fucking 4 hour erections!

The fact that we're competing over the best D&D joke is maybe a bit too revealing...

A Red witch cast a spell on James Brolin and he started watching Fox News and mumbling "you decide"...

Feel---ings.....those motherfucking inbred Bush voters....don't have any...feel---ings...

Should have dressed John Edwards up as Yentl. He's much more believable as a woman trying to be a man.

Ace, you should have enough entries for several top tens. But are are 10 more humble entries.

Karl Rove, master of the universe, was able to implant sumbliminal messages in Queer Eye for the Straight Guy that said, "Voting for Bush is the new black and by the way you look faaaaabulous!"

Bush slipped on the one ring and stole the actual National Guard documents and faxed the fake ones.

She did not know that Kinko's is controled by the Dark Lord Cheney.

She forgot that nobody under 25 knows who she is and nobody under 40 cares what she says. So there went the youth vote.

Fox News replaced CBS' eye with "The Eye of SaRove."

Dan Rather died 10 years ago. We found a shape-shifter to take his place and he has been working for us ever since.

You know what, I tried to think of some catchy reference to one of her songs or her movies, but I don't know any.

She was too busy placing a photo of her lost career on Hollywood milkboxes.

Who is Barabara Streisand?

She wasn't aware that contrary to public opinion - evil does in fact always beat good in the end.

Well, since Ace is still taking time to post his list, here's another reason why Barbra Streisand thinks Kerry lost:

Well, you'd have to KNOW that Merlin would be on THEIR side when, let's face it, he once supported a guy called "Wart."