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November 08, 2004

State-of-the-Art Bang-Bang*

The Massive Ordnance Penetrator, or MOP (as in, I guess, "mop up the mess in one colossal detonation") is to be 40% bigger than the puny, sand-kicked-in-its-face wussyboy Mother of All Bombs.

Despite its ridiculous size, it's being built long and skinny (hmmmm...) so that it can actually be carried by the B-2 or B-52. Unlike the MOAB, which is so fat it can only be carted around in cargo planes.

H/t Garfield Ridge, who reminds us that erections lasting longer than four hours may require medical treatment.

Don't I know it, Dave. Don't I know it.

* Where?

posted by Ace at 06:06 PM

Comments

Robocop. Clarence Boddiker.

Posted by: See Dubya on November 8, 2004 06:13 PM

I think I'm just going to have to disqualify you on general principles.

Posted by: ace on November 8, 2004 06:15 PM

MOP = Very Cool.

Slightly off topic, but who wrote that story? Every so often it was like the writer lapsed into Estonian or something.

Posted by: Alex on November 8, 2004 06:19 PM

Actually, it appears that the MOAB and the MOP do different things, and would have different missions.

The MOAB destroys everything on the surface for miles in every direction. It could destroy a city - but not the sewers or subway tunnels.

The MOP is a ground penetrator. It's for destroying underground structures. It's also (as you said) designed to be dropped from the B-2, you know, like at night, way behind enemy lines?

There's a word that's getting a lot of play in press circles - "Bunker Buster." This is the non-nuclear Bunker Buster option. That means we can use it too, or at least threaten to.

This isn't for dicking around with Iran however. The Iranian problem will come to a head long before this baby sees the light of day. However, something does jump to mind: North Korea.

NK threatends SK with lots of missiles, but we've got the Aegis RADAR system + Patriot missiles to deal with that little problem. However, NK also has hollowed out several mountains just north of Seoul and filled them with artillery. No defense system presently exists that could prevent the North Korean artillery barrage from decimating Seoul. If a couple MOPs (you know, dropped from stealthy B-2 bombers, at night) took out those mountain fortresses, that would take a lot of wind from their sails.

Posted by: Brock on November 8, 2004 06:32 PM

State-of-the-art bang-bang?

Or, number one boom-boom?

Yowsa!

Posted by: Alex on November 8, 2004 06:46 PM

Not bad, but I still want something that goes really fast and gets really sh*tty gas milage.

Anyone got a 6000 SUX?

Hey, I just realized something. That pissed off councilman must have been a Democrat. It all fits!

Posted by: Nick on November 8, 2004 06:49 PM

I... like it!

Posted by: ace on November 8, 2004 07:09 PM

"I'll buy that for a dollar!"

Posted by: Iblis on November 8, 2004 07:20 PM

money quote from that article, refrencing the MOAB and the old-school daisy cutter: "Both also are seen as psychological weapons that can demoralize an enemy."

Yeah, I'd say so.

Posted by: francisthegreat on November 8, 2004 07:20 PM

But the best quote has to be "Bitches leave!"

Posted by: ace on November 8, 2004 07:23 PM

Better than, "Your move, creep?"

Posted by: See-Dubya on November 8, 2004 07:30 PM

Yeahp. You can actually use "Bitches leave" in real life.

It's even better than, "I'm not arresting you anymore."

Posted by: ace on November 8, 2004 07:31 PM

I always felt bad for Miguel Ferrer. I mean, at the very least the dad from That 70's Show could've let him finish his blow, and maybe score with the ladies before he blew off his kneecaps and introduced him to Mister Happy Grenade.

That was just cruel. . .

Cheers,
Dave

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 8, 2004 07:43 PM

Nah. Best lines:

"What's your name, son?"

"Murphy."

Posted by: zetetic on November 8, 2004 07:50 PM

Well, without a doubt, that line has the most dramatic impact, but what does it mean without the context of the actual movie? Nothing.

In the movie, that's the best line. Doesn't really make for a good quote, though.

Posted by: ace on November 8, 2004 07:57 PM

Nick: A troll through IMDB quotes confirms your theory about the councilman--he might be Daschle, maybe Edwards; definitely sounds like a Democrat after Nov. 2nd:

"First, don't fuck with me. I'm a desperate man! And second, I want some fresh coffee. And third, I want a recount! And no matter how it turns out, I want my old job back!"

Posted by: See-Dubya on November 8, 2004 08:06 PM

What, are you kidding? Many's the time I'll be walking along and I'll turn to a total stranger and say "What's your name, son?" And invariably everyone says, "Murphy."

Well, except for the one lady with the pepper spray...

Posted by: zetetic on November 8, 2004 08:17 PM

The Old Man: Dick, you're *fired*!
RoboCop: Thank you.

Posted by: Blacknimbus on November 8, 2004 08:21 PM

I'm convinced the writer was having some sort of seizures as he tried to type..

I'm aghast no one has mentioned "Dead or alive, you're coming with me!", or "I bet you think you're pretty smart, huh? Think you can outsmart a bullet?". I use those daily.

Posted by: Tom on November 8, 2004 11:47 PM

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What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*

Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
* Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV.
Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.

A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR.
Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him.
LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.

The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others.
But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring:
"But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said."
In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power."
I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron.
Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring.
I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do.
But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.

Finish the job, Mr. President!
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TJM acts like he knows anything about John Wick and screenwriting. It's embarrassing, really.

Podcast: Sefton and CBD talk about how would a peace treaty with Iran work, Democrats defending murderers and rapists, The GOP vs. Dem bench for 2028, composting bodies? And more!

Oh, I forgot to mention this quote from Pete Hegseth, reported by Roger Kimball: "We are sharing the ocean with the Iranian Navy. We're giving them the bottom half."

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Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Red Leather Suit and Sweatband Edition
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Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)

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[Hat Tip: Diogenes] [CBD]

TJM gives you a brief tour of his movie collection.

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
One day I'm gonna write a poem in a letter
One day I'm gonna get that faculty together
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Oh, [Song Title], look out world, oh, you know I've got mine

US decimation of Iran's ICBM forces is due to Space Force's instant detection of launches -- and the launchers' hiding places -- and rapid counter-attack via missiles
AI is doing a lot of the work in analyzing images to find the exact hiding place of the launchers. Counter-strikes are now coming in four hours after a launch, whereas previously it might have taken days for humans to go over the imagery and data.

Robert Mueller, Former Special Counsel Who Probed Trump, Dies

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TJM has thoughts on Superheros and Iconography

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