Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact
Ace:aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries
Hoodoo Cafe
Two More Trump Victories: Signs Deal With South Korea -- 0% Tariff on American Imports, 15% on Korean Imports -- and Forces Fake-Ivy University Brown to Drop DEI and Men in Women's Sports Steve Jobs' Widow's Vanity Magazine The Atlantic: Everyone Hates Jasmine Ratchet Two of the Criminal Thugs from the Cincinnati Street Lynching Are Arrested, But At Least One is Released on a $400 Bond, as Morbidly Obese DEI Police Chief Blames the Beating on the Bartender Who "Overserved" the Thugs Kamala Harris: I'm Not Running for California Governor, I'll Be Keeping My Options Open for Any Other Ways I Can Serve the People In the Future (Like in 2028, Maybe) GDP Grows Strong 3% in Second Quarter The Fiercely Heterosexual Cory "Ssspartacuss" Booker Yells Like a Mental Patient In His Latest TikTok Stunt While Democrats Pump Iron for Communism GAINZZZ Terrorist Training Camp UCLA Pays Out Big Settlement to Jewish Students for Permitting a "Jew Exclusion Zone" on Campus Reports: King Charles Is "Appalled" By Trump's Comments That "Bad People" Are Coming to Europe on Boats and This Will "Ruin" Europe Wednesday Morning Rant Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
|
« Welcome to the Party, Pal |
Main
| I Don't Like Sex & Candy »
November 02, 2004
Voter Guide-- AddendumReader-submitted issue guidance to help you make your choice tomorrow, plus a couple I thought of my own self. In Don't hate me. STAR TREK CAPTAIN BUSH: Come on, easy-- The Captain. The only captain. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER MOVIE BUSH: Commando AUTOMOBILE BUSH: '77 primer-gray Silverado Dooley, naked-lady mud flaps MILITARY HERO BUSH: George Patton, Douglas MacArthur, Stonewall Jackson REFRESHING BEVERAGE WHOSE NAME CONTAINS AN HONORIFIC BUSH: Dr. Pepper STAR TREK VILLAIN BUSH: Khaaaaan!!! 60's TV CHICKS BUSH: Catwoman, Ginger, Maryanne, Agent 99, Marcia FAVORITE MOVIE MOMENT BUSH: Sonny Corleone beating the shit out of Carlos with the trash-can lid
BUSH: Terminator Model T-800 Series 101 (also Robocop) COMIC STRIP CHARACTER BUSH: Steve Dallas (Bloom County); Linus (Peanuts); Hobbes (Calvin & Hobbes) DEFINING SCI-FI/HORROR MOVIE QUOTE BUSH: "I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all outa bubblegum." CAUSE TO SMILE AFTER HEARING WORD "NANTUCKET" BUSH: reminds him of dirty limerick about Nantucket KEY QUOTE FROM "THE ROAD WARRIOR" BUSH: I'm the best chance you've got. CHARACTER FROM GIANT-MONSTER JAPANESE CINEMA BUSH: Godzilla HAIR METAL SONG EXPRESSING KEY THEME OF CAMPAIGN BUSH: "unilateralism" -- Whitesnake's Here I Go Again (On My Own) * I had to change this one. SmallCarGuy sent me a similar one using one of my favorite lines from the Road Warrior, and definitely John Kerry's true definining RW quote. posted by Ace at 03:11 AM
CommentsI just wanted to give you fair warning that I'll be dispatching lawyers to sue you for attempting to suppress the African-American vote in the comic-strip character category. The results do not reflect the popularity of the "Huey" character from the "Boondocks" strip, and you should be ashamed of yourself for disenfranchising this bold, fictional voice. Posted by: Sean M. on November 2, 2004 05:05 AM
I have to disagree on the ST Captain bit. Picard is the obvious choice for Kerry, being that Picard is a nuanced Frenchman more prone to negotiate than launch any photon torpedoes. Bush on the other hand, is much more similar to Sisko, the Emissary and a family man that kicks ass and takes names. Laura probably wouldn't take too kindly to any Orion slave girls in the Oval Office. Back in '92 there were "Picard/Riker" campaign bumperstickers. That's the ticket fielded by the Dem's this year, a diplomat and a pretty boy without enough experience to ever get his own ship. Posted by: rw on November 2, 2004 05:27 AM
You left out the most obvious choice for cartoon character: Ziggy. Posted by: Smack on November 2, 2004 07:23 AM
Automobile Bush - I don't drive no stinkin' Cheevy. Posted by: Ron on November 2, 2004 08:00 AM
Re Catwoman, we are obviously talking about Eartha Kitt or at least Julie Newmar. NOT Lee Meriwether. Catwoman should not look like she drives a station wagon. Posted by: Kerry on November 2, 2004 08:02 AM
Dude, this was a great bit. Funny as always. Posted by: Marty on November 2, 2004 08:12 AM
Better than the Mothra women. Hero Boy, the spoof of those movies on an episode of Freakazoid. (The Mothra women were therein replaced by two sumo wrestlers, who sang in an even higher key.) Anyway, Hero Boy tries to kill the giant monster attacking Tokyo, but only gets squashed. He's congratulated by the general for this, because he made people laugh. Posted by: Rich Baldwin on November 2, 2004 09:24 AM
Did Anyone do LOTR character? Bush: Theoden Posted by: matt on November 2, 2004 09:39 AM
Ace, Your at it AGAIN with all this loose shit....don't make a fuckin' psycho outta me Ace, I am waringing you....cut the fuckin' shit Ace. And as for automobiles, Dubya would drive a Green '71 Hemi 'Cuda or a white '68 Mustang 427 Shelby GT OR, at the very least, a '70 Burnt-Orange GTO Judge with a 440. Not some faggy grey 77' Silverado. You are REALLY pissn' me off Ace. I am warning you for the last time....I got a shovel and a bag of lime right here next to me.... Posted by: Swiftsure aka Vinny Falcone on November 2, 2004 10:02 AM
Post a comment
| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Earthquake off Russian coast sends tsunami waves towards Hawaii:
Nick Sortor Coastal evacuation ordered in Honolulu Warnings for the California coast as well. Impact expected at 12:15
Former CIA operative John Kiriakou talks with Matt Taibbi about the Brennan/Comey Coup
Both guys are old liberals, maybe even of the far-left variety, and both are appalled by the Democrat/Deep State coup against the US. Kiriakou says that CIA officers were legally obligated to report to the Inspector General John Brennan's repeated overruling of actual intelligence to encode his partisan conspiracy theories into US intel product, but of course they didn't.
Jonathan Turley nails it: The rise and fall of John Brennan [Hat Tip: dhmosquito] [CBD]
American Eagle Outfitters has a new ad with Sidney Sweeney, and you are going to like it. [CBD]
Seattle woman takes Navy's Blue Angels to court over social media censorship and 'acoustic torture' of cat
A literal cat lady! [CBD]
OG Blogger Jeff Dunetz passes at age 67
I thought I told everyone to stop dying.
Legendary wrestler and great American Hulk Hogan passes away. Love ya brother. [Weirddave]
![]()
Are your Hot Balls ruining your health? Maybe you need to put those sad droopers on ice.
Most studies about overheated testicles look at semen production and fertility, but it also seems likely that too-hot crotch-knockers result in lowered tesosterone, too.
Ryan Long makes fun of NYC lefties for bragging that they can "handle" living amidst garbage, rats, hobos and murder while p*ssies like you just take the easy way out and move to orderly, pleasant places
At Budokan Mystery Click
Now I had heard the WACs recruited old maids for the war But mommy's neither one of those I've known her all these years Maybe I'll stop linking obscurities and start linking more crowd pleasers. If you can stand the sight of Dan Rather, three members of the band talk about how they got famous in Japan before they ever even played in Japan. Hint: Manga.
Malcolm Jamal-Warner, the son on The Cosby Show, dies of drowning at age 54: reports
Warner was in Costa Rica on a family vacation and drowned while swimming near Cocles after allegedly being caught by a high current on Sunday afternoon. The incident occurred between 2 and 2:30 p.m. local time.
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
Hint: Chopper noises on an oscillator/synthesizer City nights, summer breeze makes you feel all right Neon lights, shining brightly, make your brain ignite See the girls with the dresses so tight Give you love Give you love if the price is right Black or white, in the streets, there's no wrong and no right, no!
Jay Guevara Obituary [PDF]
Russia: Commercial satellite constellations providing help to the Ukraine are now targets Well, this might get sporty! [CBD]
Recent Comments
[/i][/i][/i][/s][/s][/s][/b][/b][/b]Christopher R Taylor:
"[i]But i don't actually tell people that. I mean I ..."
ace: "sorry. I thought the Hulk pic was real. I'll take ..." Warai-otoko : "27 135 for reps, people! Reps! Posted by: Eric Sw ..." Aetius451AD work phone: "If anyone is looking for light mens shorts for hot ..." mikeski: "[i]Great game for you and your cat and it's free.[ ..." Aetius451AD work phone: "Look at the lower left. The cut the Hulkster in ha ..." holygoat: "Why is my President wearing a Canadian tuxedo? ..." Warai-otoko : "Never know when Sydney Sweeney might be lurking. ..." Tonypete: "There is something wrong about that bottom pic. I ..." Eric Swalwell (D-CA) new hyper-masculine face of the Democrat Party: "135 for reps, people! Reps! ..." Aetius451AD work phone: "But i don't actually tell people that. I mean I'll ..." Grumpy and Recalcitrant[/b][/i][/s][/u]: "Hogan's eyes are open in one picture and closed in ..." Bloggers in Arms
RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides
Kaboom!
Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
|