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November 02, 2004
Voter Guide-- AddendumReader-submitted issue guidance to help you make your choice tomorrow, plus a couple I thought of my own self. In Don't hate me. STAR TREK CAPTAIN BUSH: Come on, easy-- The Captain. The only captain. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER MOVIE BUSH: Commando AUTOMOBILE BUSH: '77 primer-gray Silverado Dooley, naked-lady mud flaps MILITARY HERO BUSH: George Patton, Douglas MacArthur, Stonewall Jackson REFRESHING BEVERAGE WHOSE NAME CONTAINS AN HONORIFIC BUSH: Dr. Pepper STAR TREK VILLAIN BUSH: Khaaaaan!!! 60's TV CHICKS BUSH: Catwoman, Ginger, Maryanne, Agent 99, Marcia FAVORITE MOVIE MOMENT BUSH: Sonny Corleone beating the shit out of Carlos with the trash-can lid
BUSH: Terminator Model T-800 Series 101 (also Robocop) COMIC STRIP CHARACTER BUSH: Steve Dallas (Bloom County); Linus (Peanuts); Hobbes (Calvin & Hobbes) DEFINING SCI-FI/HORROR MOVIE QUOTE BUSH: "I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all outa bubblegum." CAUSE TO SMILE AFTER HEARING WORD "NANTUCKET" BUSH: reminds him of dirty limerick about Nantucket KEY QUOTE FROM "THE ROAD WARRIOR" BUSH: I'm the best chance you've got. CHARACTER FROM GIANT-MONSTER JAPANESE CINEMA BUSH: Godzilla HAIR METAL SONG EXPRESSING KEY THEME OF CAMPAIGN BUSH: "unilateralism" -- Whitesnake's Here I Go Again (On My Own) * I had to change this one. SmallCarGuy sent me a similar one using one of my favorite lines from the Road Warrior, and definitely John Kerry's true definining RW quote. posted by Ace at 03:11 AM
CommentsI just wanted to give you fair warning that I'll be dispatching lawyers to sue you for attempting to suppress the African-American vote in the comic-strip character category. The results do not reflect the popularity of the "Huey" character from the "Boondocks" strip, and you should be ashamed of yourself for disenfranchising this bold, fictional voice. Posted by: Sean M. on November 2, 2004 05:05 AM
I have to disagree on the ST Captain bit. Picard is the obvious choice for Kerry, being that Picard is a nuanced Frenchman more prone to negotiate than launch any photon torpedoes. Bush on the other hand, is much more similar to Sisko, the Emissary and a family man that kicks ass and takes names. Laura probably wouldn't take too kindly to any Orion slave girls in the Oval Office. Back in '92 there were "Picard/Riker" campaign bumperstickers. That's the ticket fielded by the Dem's this year, a diplomat and a pretty boy without enough experience to ever get his own ship. Posted by: rw on November 2, 2004 05:27 AM
You left out the most obvious choice for cartoon character: Ziggy. Posted by: Smack on November 2, 2004 07:23 AM
Automobile Bush - I don't drive no stinkin' Cheevy. Posted by: Ron on November 2, 2004 08:00 AM
Re Catwoman, we are obviously talking about Eartha Kitt or at least Julie Newmar. NOT Lee Meriwether. Catwoman should not look like she drives a station wagon. Posted by: Kerry on November 2, 2004 08:02 AM
Dude, this was a great bit. Funny as always. Posted by: Marty on November 2, 2004 08:12 AM
Better than the Mothra women. Hero Boy, the spoof of those movies on an episode of Freakazoid. (The Mothra women were therein replaced by two sumo wrestlers, who sang in an even higher key.) Anyway, Hero Boy tries to kill the giant monster attacking Tokyo, but only gets squashed. He's congratulated by the general for this, because he made people laugh. Posted by: Rich Baldwin on November 2, 2004 09:24 AM
Did Anyone do LOTR character? Bush: Theoden Posted by: matt on November 2, 2004 09:39 AM
Ace, Your at it AGAIN with all this loose shit....don't make a fuckin' psycho outta me Ace, I am waringing you....cut the fuckin' shit Ace. And as for automobiles, Dubya would drive a Green '71 Hemi 'Cuda or a white '68 Mustang 427 Shelby GT OR, at the very least, a '70 Burnt-Orange GTO Judge with a 440. Not some faggy grey 77' Silverado. You are REALLY pissn' me off Ace. I am warning you for the last time....I got a shovel and a bag of lime right here next to me.... Posted by: Swiftsure aka Vinny Falcone on November 2, 2004 10:02 AM
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Trump commented on the Biden Presidency: "Worst administration in our country's history. Jimmy Carter died a happy man. You know why? Because he wasn't the worst president, Joe Biden was."
Murderer in FSU shooting identified; he is the son of a sheriff's deputy who had access to his mother's guns
Bill Melugin
Biden's FBI Ordered TN Highway Patrol to Release 'Maryland Man' Recently Deported to El Salvador After He Was Detained in 2022 Traffic Stop on Suspicion of Human Trafficking
Sounds like this guy is in exactly the correct place: out of America and in an El Salvador prison! Thank you President Trump! [CBD] ![]()
Trump admin hits Letitia James with criminal referral to DOJ over alleged mortgage fraud She thought a permanent Democrat government would protect her! [CBD]
To Fly, You'll Soon Need a REAL ID
What could go wrong? [CBD] ![]()
Youth Soccer Coach Charged With Sexual Assault, Murder of Player Is in U.S. Illegally, Has Prior Victims
But let's keep all of these fine, upstanding potential citizens in the country! [CBD] ![]()
David Strom connects the Fiercely Heterosexual Cory Booker (TM) and his Theater Kid Energy to the Democrats' belief that they're all superstars who glow in the spotlight
They're always protesting using painfully bad dance numbers and song renditions. Which side are you on...?
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click:
I Can't Believe It's Not Bryan Adams Edition Well I saw you on the avenue And as usual you're with someone new I guess there's nothing left for me to do but turn away I'm growing tired of all your alibis There ain't one you can justify I ain't gonna take it anymore and I'll tell you why You know, I wrote "I Can't Believe It's Not Bryan Adams" and then realized, "Wait, this is so blatantly a Bryan Adams-style song this might actually be a genuine Bryan Adams song, let me look this up." In fact, yes, it's co-written by Bryan Adams and Jim Vallance. And I guess I would have realized that if I just watched the video, in which Bryan Adams plays guitar and contributes backing vocals.
Jason Statham's Working Man beat Snow Woke at the box office this weekend. The Chosen, a movie made up of three episodes of a show available on TV, almost beat Snow Woke too, cashing in $11 million over the weekend.
I't's time to let go. Actor Val Kilmer dies at 65. Doc Holiday in Tombstone was his ultimate role, but I'll always love his comedic turns in Top Secret! and Real Genius. RIP. [Weirddave]
Sen. Cory Booker Speaks All Night on Senate Floor to Protest Against Trump's Agenda So what! Apparently his beard has a date and he has nothing else to do. [CBD]
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