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Squirrel History Cafe Quick Hits NBC Boston Doxxed the Juror by Providing Specific Details of His Arrest Allowing Anyone to Find His Name Through Court Records; Defense Lawyer's AWFUL Wife Goaded the Media Into "Getting" the Juror Republican Wisconsin Gubernatorial Candidate Tom Tiffany Survives After Plane Loses Engine Power and Crash-Lands in River; Media Minimizes Event Shock: Danish Crime Statistics Show that Immigrants, Particularly Muslim Immigrants, Commit Crime at Double the Rates of the Native-Born and the Children of Immigrants Are Even Worse The "Rogue Juror" Has Been Doxxed and "Visited" At His Home by Angry Lindsay Clancy Baby-Killer Cultists DHS Secretary Markwayne Mullins: We Know Ilhan Omar Married Her Brother to Defraud the Immigration System. We're Investigating Her Now. THE MORNING RANT: In Defiance of the Climate Cult’s Apocalyptic Prophecies, there Have Been Zero Hurricanes in the Atlantic so far this Year Mid-Morning Art Thread Absent Friends
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October 26, 2004
A Spoof I'm Far Too Respectable and Classy to Ever Write"For too long, Republican-fueled hate has kept gays fearful and in the closet, often with tragic consequences," [John Edwards' "wife" Elizabeth] explained. "For example, even today gay men are frequently locked in loveless marriages of convenience, for no other reason than to provide a flimsy facade to society." I think we've all been there, Liza. It May Sound Real, But I Assure It's Not (?) Update: Just in case this isn't clear -- perhaps it's too damn believable Elizabeth Edwards would say exactly this -- this is a satire. It's made up. Iowahawk wrote it. But we all know that John Edwards has seen the ABBA tribute musical Mama Mia at least three or four times. I'm not saying that makes him gay. I'm just saying, well, I guess that was what I was saying. posted by Ace at 08:08 PM
Commentsumm, is it me or does she talk like she is talking from experience? LOL Posted by: wannabe on October 26, 2004 09:19 PM
Something you're trying to tell us, Liz? Would it have anything to do with a guy who recently seen spending an inordinate amount of time on his hair? This is classic, like listening to a liberal with no black friends trying to expound on black culture. Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 26, 2004 09:26 PM
Poor Ace! If you think you have some satire-challenged readers, you should see the nimnulls over at Jim Treacher's blog. Who would think that you would need to update this and blazon it with SPOOF and SATIRE? Good lawd in butter; P.T. Barnum was right. There must be a corollary to his famous statement. Posted by: Frank Villon on October 26, 2004 09:35 PM
Honestly, I could see her saying something like this. It took me until the word effeminate before I realized it was a spoof. Elizabeth is just that vapid. I'm pretty sure seeing Mama Mia only once is more than enough to get on the gay agenda mailing list. Even I won't see it. There's flaming, and then there's supernovae. Posted by: Rob on October 26, 2004 10:13 PM
Not that there's anything wrong with John Edwards being effeminate.... Posted by: OneDrummer on October 26, 2004 10:29 PM
Have any of you seen an independent movie called Sordid Lives? If you remember the character called "Brother Boy"--a transvestite Tammy Wynette impersonator locked in a Texas mental hospital--well, that's who Edwards reminds me of. The gestures, the pouts, the accent (granted his is Carolina instead of Texas)--I've been calling Edwards 'Brother Boy' since the VP debate. All of which makes his Mary Cheney dig all the more ironic. Posted by: See-Dubya on October 27, 2004 01:04 AM
Late to the party again but had to say that Mama Mia line just floored me. Keep at it Ace, some day you'll strike gold. Posted by: dano on October 29, 2004 12:35 PM
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Forgotten 80s Mystery Click, Guitar Hero Edition
Oh here it comes That funny feeling again winding me up inside Every time we touch Hey I don't know Oh, tell me where to begin cause I never ever Felt so much Okay, that was pretty easy. Here's one that's 3% harder. But still easy. Ooh, can you feel the static? So many contacts being made We've got up-front fanatics Tearing down the barricade To reach the stage Can you feel the rage?
Dear RNC; Go f*ck yourselves. I have gotten 56 texts in the last two weeks...all offensive and sneaky and all begging for money. At this point I would rather donate to AOC. [CBD]
BIG NEWS UPDATE NOT FIRED from anon2020 So what, she quit? Megyn Kelly (accursed be her name) used to say all the time that Fox has a top female PR person who is a nasty pitbull and leaks nasty claims about anyone Fox is at war with, including those who have left the network. So I guess maybe she technically resigned? I don't know. NEW: @FoxNews has obtained Lindsay Clancy defense attorney Kevin Reddington's appeal filing to the MA Supreme Court, which includes Reddington accusing the lone holdout juror of being "biased" against those with "debilitating mental illness", which he says is a protected category. Thanks to Mark1971
Holiday Break: I've had a rough couple of weeks -- the shoulder is healing now and I'm finally getting decent sleep -- and I've decided to take a long weekend.
I'm taking Friday off, and then Monday off, too. I have Open Threads for both days and I will post if big news breaks, but if it doesn't -- and it probably won't, news is slow before a holiday weekend -- I'm going to take a four day weekend.
Sh0eOnHead discusses the Psychotic Cult of Lindsay
Real quotes: "This case has me feeling like I'm on Law & Order with you guys!" "We literally binge true crime as a hobby, we've been trained for this moment" Worth the watch. If you haven't seen the genuinely upsetting insanity motivating thousands of women, you should watch this just to see how society is crumbling. Ban TikTok, Trump. I don't care if Barron tells you it's popular with the yutes. It is an evil Communist China op and it is driving women insane.
Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene
As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton? I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either.
Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
RIP and Roll Out!
TJM discusses the career of Mel Brooks and why High Anxiety just isn't as good as Young Frankentsein
Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday
Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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