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October 26, 2004
A Spoof I'm Far Too Respectable and Classy to Ever Write"For too long, Republican-fueled hate has kept gays fearful and in the closet, often with tragic consequences," [John Edwards' "wife" Elizabeth] explained. "For example, even today gay men are frequently locked in loveless marriages of convenience, for no other reason than to provide a flimsy facade to society." I think we've all been there, Liza. It May Sound Real, But I Assure It's Not (?) Update: Just in case this isn't clear -- perhaps it's too damn believable Elizabeth Edwards would say exactly this -- this is a satire. It's made up. Iowahawk wrote it. But we all know that John Edwards has seen the ABBA tribute musical Mama Mia at least three or four times. I'm not saying that makes him gay. I'm just saying, well, I guess that was what I was saying. posted by Ace at 08:08 PM
Commentsumm, is it me or does she talk like she is talking from experience? LOL Posted by: wannabe on October 26, 2004 09:19 PM
Something you're trying to tell us, Liz? Would it have anything to do with a guy who recently seen spending an inordinate amount of time on his hair? This is classic, like listening to a liberal with no black friends trying to expound on black culture. Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 26, 2004 09:26 PM
Poor Ace! If you think you have some satire-challenged readers, you should see the nimnulls over at Jim Treacher's blog. Who would think that you would need to update this and blazon it with SPOOF and SATIRE? Good lawd in butter; P.T. Barnum was right. There must be a corollary to his famous statement. Posted by: Frank Villon on October 26, 2004 09:35 PM
Honestly, I could see her saying something like this. It took me until the word effeminate before I realized it was a spoof. Elizabeth is just that vapid. I'm pretty sure seeing Mama Mia only once is more than enough to get on the gay agenda mailing list. Even I won't see it. There's flaming, and then there's supernovae. Posted by: Rob on October 26, 2004 10:13 PM
Not that there's anything wrong with John Edwards being effeminate.... Posted by: OneDrummer on October 26, 2004 10:29 PM
Have any of you seen an independent movie called Sordid Lives? If you remember the character called "Brother Boy"--a transvestite Tammy Wynette impersonator locked in a Texas mental hospital--well, that's who Edwards reminds me of. The gestures, the pouts, the accent (granted his is Carolina instead of Texas)--I've been calling Edwards 'Brother Boy' since the VP debate. All of which makes his Mary Cheney dig all the more ironic. Posted by: See-Dubya on October 27, 2004 01:04 AM
Late to the party again but had to say that Mama Mia line just floored me. Keep at it Ace, some day you'll strike gold. Posted by: dano on October 29, 2004 12:35 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Former Republican liberal Ben Sasse announces that he has stage IV metastasized pancreatic cancer: "I'm gonna die"
It's not just a "death sentence," as he says, but a rapidly coming one. I hope he can put his affairs in order and make sure his family is in a good as a position as they can be.
Brown killer takes the coward's way out. Naturally.
Still not identified, for some reason. Per Fox 25 Boston, the killer was a non-citizen permanent legal resident It continues to be strange that the police are so protective of his identity.
Fearful French cancel NYE concert on Champs-Élysées as migrant violence grows
The time is now! France must fight for its culture! [CBD]
Megyn Kelly finally calls out Candace Owens
Whoops, I meant she bravely attacks Sydney Sweeney for "bending the knee." (Sweeney put out a very empty PR statement saying "I'm against hate." Whoop-de-doo.) Megyn Kelly claims she doesn't want to call people out on the right when asked about Candace Owens but then has no compunctions at all about calling people out on the right. As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller." She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
The World Must Stop Ignoring What Iranians Already Know: The Regime Is on the Brink
Isn't it pretty to think so? [CBD]
I have happily forgotten what Milo Yiannopoulos sounds like, but I still enjoyed this impression from from Ami Kozak.
More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2: Remember the bamboo from Part 1? Do I ever! It's all I remember! Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy. We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations. I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said. She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
Canada Euthanized a Record 16.4K People Last Year
Aktion T4, now with Poutine! [CBD]
Trump's DOT Drops the Hammer: Thousands of CDL Trainers Shut Down
This is how it is done. [CBD]
Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey vows to Somali criminals that he will not cooperate with ICE, then begins speaking in Somali
Gee I wonder why Walz allowed Somali pirates to steal 1 billion in American dollars... could it possibly be that criminal illegal aliens are voting in elections and the Democrats know it and play to that illegal constituency?
Incumbent Senator John Cornyn (RINO - TX) betrayed his party and his country by voting in favor Biden's Afghan resettlement bill in 2021. Cornyn voted to bring in the Afghan who shot two National Guard soldiers on US soil. A vote for Cornyn is an endorsement of importing unvetted, radicalized murderers. [Buck]
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