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« DNC Rues Clues They Might Lose Jews, Anew | Main | Andrew "Less Than Zero" McCarthy Lights Up the New York Times »
October 26, 2004

A Spoof I'm Far Too Respectable and Classy to Ever Write

But I sure can link it:

"For too long, Republican-fueled hate has kept gays fearful and in the closet, often with tragic consequences," [John Edwards' "wife" Elizabeth] explained. "For example, even today gay men are frequently locked in loveless marriages of convenience, for no other reason than to provide a flimsy facade to society."

"This is a tragedy for everyone, particularly the unsuspecting wife," said Edwards. "She is that plain small town girl who meets the handsome -- yet oddly fussy -- prelaw student at the fraternity smoker, her undeveloped 'gay-dar' too weak to recognize his obsessive hair primping and unusual effeminate chattiness. Soon they are dating, but he shows little interest in sex, always claiming he has 'a big tort midterm' or other excuse. Still, she would rather stay with this eerily pretty man who shows no interest in other women, even if it means letting him have his regular Wednesday through Saturday 'boys nights out' in Charlotte or Raleigh or Atlanta...."

I think we've all been there, Liza.

It May Sound Real, But I Assure It's Not (?) Update: Just in case this isn't clear -- perhaps it's too damn believable Elizabeth Edwards would say exactly this -- this is a satire. It's made up. Iowahawk wrote it.

But we all know that John Edwards has seen the ABBA tribute musical Mama Mia at least three or four times.

I'm not saying that makes him gay.

I'm just saying, well, I guess that was what I was saying.


posted by Ace at 08:08 PM
Comments



umm, is it me or does she talk like she is talking from experience? LOL

Posted by: wannabe on October 26, 2004 09:19 PM

Something you're trying to tell us, Liz? Would it have anything to do with a guy who recently seen spending an inordinate amount of time on his hair?

This is classic, like listening to a liberal with no black friends trying to expound on black culture.

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 26, 2004 09:26 PM

Poor Ace! If you think you have some satire-challenged readers, you should see the nimnulls over at Jim Treacher's blog.

Who would think that you would need to update this and blazon it with SPOOF and SATIRE?

Good lawd in butter; P.T. Barnum was right. There must be a corollary to his famous statement.

Posted by: Frank Villon on October 26, 2004 09:35 PM

Honestly, I could see her saying something like this. It took me until the word effeminate before I realized it was a spoof. Elizabeth is just that vapid.

I'm pretty sure seeing Mama Mia only once is more than enough to get on the gay agenda mailing list. Even I won't see it. There's flaming, and then there's supernovae.

Posted by: Rob on October 26, 2004 10:13 PM

Not that there's anything wrong with John Edwards being effeminate....

Posted by: OneDrummer on October 26, 2004 10:29 PM

Have any of you seen an independent movie called Sordid Lives? If you remember the character called "Brother Boy"--a transvestite Tammy Wynette impersonator locked in a Texas mental hospital--well, that's who Edwards reminds me of. The gestures, the pouts, the accent (granted his is Carolina instead of Texas)--I've been calling Edwards 'Brother Boy' since the VP debate.

All of which makes his Mary Cheney dig all the more ironic.

Posted by: See-Dubya on October 27, 2004 01:04 AM

Late to the party again but had to say that Mama Mia line just floored me. Keep at it Ace, some day you'll strike gold.

Posted by: dano on October 29, 2004 12:35 PM
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Candace Owens
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Because as I demonstrated on my show, there were MANY young men that all woke up and decided to dress in Maroon shirts and light shorts on the day of the Charlie's assassination.

The footage can be any one of these young men and in my opinion is likely multiple of them.

If Tyler Robinson's defense would like to contact me-- I'd be happy to supply them the folder of the maroon boys that I began archiving when I noticed the bizarre fashion trend.

I have thus far ID'd two of them, but will focus on IDing the rest of them when I am back on air.

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Fenix Ammunition
@FenixAmmunition

Photos of the ammunition recovered from Tyler Robinson.

Remington headstamp on the case and despite the somewhat low resolution on the photo you can see the somewhat blunted nature of the projectile's tip.

This is a Remington Cor-Lokt soft point round. It's SPECIFICALLY designed to deform, slow down, and prevent an exit wound. Available at literally every single gun store and sporting goods store that sells ammunition.

In fact, 16 out of the 17 .30-06 varieties manufactured by Remington use some type of expanding, deforming, or fragmenting bullet. Only ONE of their products uses a full metal jacket projectile that could/would be expected to leave an exit wound.

Here's a clip of them sitting in my desk.

This has been the most easily debunked claim of their entire web of lies and it's really mind blowing considering this is exactly what you would choose for an assassination.

But yeah, definitely keep getting all your information from the DEI hire and the Portland pizza boy. I'm sure they know more about this than I do.

Post here, showing Tyler Robinson's ammunition, matching this guy's own box. And it is an expanding-tip hollow-point round.

Boy these Internet Experts (TM) sure do get a lot of things wrong.
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