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October 26, 2004
A Spoof I'm Far Too Respectable and Classy to Ever Write"For too long, Republican-fueled hate has kept gays fearful and in the closet, often with tragic consequences," [John Edwards' "wife" Elizabeth] explained. "For example, even today gay men are frequently locked in loveless marriages of convenience, for no other reason than to provide a flimsy facade to society." I think we've all been there, Liza. It May Sound Real, But I Assure It's Not (?) Update: Just in case this isn't clear -- perhaps it's too damn believable Elizabeth Edwards would say exactly this -- this is a satire. It's made up. Iowahawk wrote it. But we all know that John Edwards has seen the ABBA tribute musical Mama Mia at least three or four times. I'm not saying that makes him gay. I'm just saying, well, I guess that was what I was saying. posted by Ace at 08:08 PM
Commentsumm, is it me or does she talk like she is talking from experience? LOL Posted by: wannabe on October 26, 2004 09:19 PM
Something you're trying to tell us, Liz? Would it have anything to do with a guy who recently seen spending an inordinate amount of time on his hair? This is classic, like listening to a liberal with no black friends trying to expound on black culture. Posted by: Eric Pobirs on October 26, 2004 09:26 PM
Poor Ace! If you think you have some satire-challenged readers, you should see the nimnulls over at Jim Treacher's blog. Who would think that you would need to update this and blazon it with SPOOF and SATIRE? Good lawd in butter; P.T. Barnum was right. There must be a corollary to his famous statement. Posted by: Frank Villon on October 26, 2004 09:35 PM
Honestly, I could see her saying something like this. It took me until the word effeminate before I realized it was a spoof. Elizabeth is just that vapid. I'm pretty sure seeing Mama Mia only once is more than enough to get on the gay agenda mailing list. Even I won't see it. There's flaming, and then there's supernovae. Posted by: Rob on October 26, 2004 10:13 PM
Not that there's anything wrong with John Edwards being effeminate.... Posted by: OneDrummer on October 26, 2004 10:29 PM
Have any of you seen an independent movie called Sordid Lives? If you remember the character called "Brother Boy"--a transvestite Tammy Wynette impersonator locked in a Texas mental hospital--well, that's who Edwards reminds me of. The gestures, the pouts, the accent (granted his is Carolina instead of Texas)--I've been calling Edwards 'Brother Boy' since the VP debate. All of which makes his Mary Cheney dig all the more ironic. Posted by: See-Dubya on October 27, 2004 01:04 AM
Late to the party again but had to say that Mama Mia line just floored me. Keep at it Ace, some day you'll strike gold. Posted by: dano on October 29, 2004 12:35 PM
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Lost Seventies Mystery Click: The Darkest Song Ever Recorded?
I think Professor of Rock (on YouTube) claimed this song was so upsetting that people used to pull over to the side of the road when it came on the radio. It's about a fatal plane crash, but obviously it suggests a fatal car crash too, which could wig out a driver. It's like one of those nasty 70s anti-war body horror movies. Not for the squeamish. I'm not even going to post the lyrics because they're upsetting too.
Compilation of Naked Gun intros
That theme gets me charged. Compilation of all Police Squad! openings. They're all the same except for the last few seconds where they reveal the Special Guest Star and the title(s).
Pitch Meeting: Amazon's new, terrible War of the Worlds
I don't know why these tech monopolists spend so much money on ripoff/sequel/remake slop. I like popcorn entertainment but is it legally required to be terrible?
Lost 90s Mystery Click: College Radio Edition
Well you look fantastic in your cast-off casket At least the thing still runs This nine to five bullshit don't let you forget Whose suicide you're on. Also: You wax poetic about things pathetic As long as you look so cute Believe these hills are starting to roll Believe these stars are starting to shoot ![]()
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Garrett's Favorite Band Edition
Everybody wants you Everybody wants your love I'd just like to make you mine, all mine
Baylor Coach Dave Aranda Apologizes for 'Ableism' After Using the Word 'Midget'
Well, he is also disabled...he is a eunuch [CBD] I'm frankly surprised the title is 107 Days. I would have thought it would be:
Soft weak poop from the early 80s Mystery Click
I never liked this song, but it is memorable. In a weak, annoying way. The kid's in shock up and down the block The folks are home playing beat the clock Down at the golden cup They set the young ones up Under the neon light Selling day for night It's alright Nobody rides for free (nobody, nobody) Nobody gets it like they want it to be (nobody, nobody) Nobody hands you any guarantee (nobody, nobody) Nobody
Flashback: UCLA allows terror-supporting thugs to set up and maintain checkpoints to keep Jews out of campus buildings
More video of the anti-Jewish checkpoints A major university allowed this and defended this.
Earthquake off Russian coast sends tsunami waves towards Hawaii:
Nick Sortor Coastal evacuation ordered in Honolulu Warnings for the California coast as well. Impact expected at 12:15
Former CIA operative John Kiriakou talks with Matt Taibbi about the Brennan/Comey Coup
Both guys are old liberals, maybe even of the far-left variety, and both are appalled by the Democrat/Deep State coup against the US. Kiriakou says that CIA officers were legally obligated to report to the Inspector General John Brennan's repeated overruling of actual intelligence to encode his partisan conspiracy theories into US intel product, but of course they didn't. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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