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« Orchestrated By "Political Partisans"? | Main | A Dukakian Fall III: A Dukakian Fall With a Vengeance »
September 20, 2004

Victory of the Blogosphere Bonus Top Ten:
Top Ten Dan Rather "Folksy Texas Sayings" About What Went Wrong

10. We were all hornswaggled worse than a blind dog sniffing at the ass of a decoy duck

9. Our fact-checking was looser than a three-toothed Galveston whore during Fleet Week when the rent's due

8. We got played worse than the only fiddle at an Houston hootenanny

7. We're dumber than a sack of hammers -- retard-hammers, that is

6. The story was rushed more than a Arkansas groom with bun in the oven and a shotgun to his crotch

5. Bill Burkett duped us harder than a carny-barker shilling for a game of "Stump the Chicken"

4. We got deeper into this mess than Hell's own septic-tank cleaner

3. We bent over for Ben Barnes harder than a new-fish at the Gainsboro Maximum Security Penitentiary Cotillion & Debutante Ball

2. I'm more in the tank for John Kerry than a Chicsaw County grifter with an eight-foot siphon

...and the Number One Dan Rather "Folksy Texas Saying" for What Went Wrong...

1. What do you want me to say? We all lean harder to the left than Michael Moore during a starboard-blowing squall, while simultaneously trying to balance in order to consume his own right foot


posted by Ace at 04:35 PM
Comments



Ace:

As a longtime reader of this site, I feel I have the credibility to make the following two assertions:

1) Worst. Top-Ten. Ever.
2) FREE JOHNNY COLDCUTS!!!!!

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on September 20, 2004 05:25 PM

Rather says he was misled. He reminds me of a teenage girl: "But he said I wouldn't get pregnant!"

Right.

Posted by: Amphipolis on September 20, 2004 05:39 PM

Get 'em Ed!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Christine Iverson
202-863-8614

Washington, DC--Republican National Committee Chairman Ed Gillespie issued the following statement on CBS’s admission today that memos regarding the President’s National Guard service are not real.

“We accept CBS's apology for a breach of the journalistic standards that provide the American people confidence in news organizations, but some disturbing questions remain unanswered.

“CBS has now answered questions about the authenticity of the documents but questions remain surrounding who created the documents, who provided them to CBS and if Senator Kerry's supporters, Party committee, or campaign played any role.

“Did Bill Burkett, Democrat activist and Kerry campaign supporter, who passed information to the DNC, work with Kerry campaign surrogate Max Cleland? Did Bill Burkett's talks with ‘senior’ Kerry campaign officials include discussions of the now discredited documents? Was the launch of the Democrat National Committee's Operation Fortunate Son designed with knowledge of the faked forged memos? Terry McAuliffe said yesterday that no one at the DNC or Kerry campaign, ‘had anything to do with the preparations of the documents,’ but what about the distribution or dissemination?

“In an effort to regain the trust of the American people CBS should not only investigate the process that led to the use of these documents but they should identify immediately those engaged in possible criminal activity who attempted to use a news organization to affect the outcome of a Presidential election in its closing days.”

Posted by: mr lawson on September 20, 2004 05:40 PM

Notice how Gunga Dan and Co. have yet to apologize to W for defaming him?
Any bets when that happens?

Posted by: Iblis on September 20, 2004 05:50 PM

How bad is it for Kerry?

This fucking bad.

Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on September 20, 2004 05:51 PM

Ace,
not your best top ten effort. It needed something to this effect:

Dan Rather grabbed Mary Mapes by the back of the head, kissing her fully on the lips, telling her she had disappointed him, and sent her catfish fishing on the Rio Grande--Mexican side.

Posted by: Birkel on September 20, 2004 07:16 PM

There's no pleasing some people. Try to post a nice topical Top Ten, and the next thing you know you've got more critics than a prize pig in a pie-jumping competition. (I have no idea what that means, but somehow I can just see Dan Rather saying it.)

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek on September 20, 2004 07:30 PM

Didja notice that even with the climbdown, CBS still didn't admit everything the b'sphere/WaPo/ABC uncovered. Instead, their new info was that Burkett misled them. That way they "broke" the story and they don't have to face up to the huge and inept coverup they attempted. That is, they don't have to face it unless we hold their feet to the fire.

Posted by: Terry Notus on September 20, 2004 08:40 PM
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