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June 30, 2004
A Comic Who Actually Is FunnyI spend a great deal of time lecturing my readers to the point of boredom about why some people are not-funny. Maybe it's time to mention someone who is. If you're watching Last Comic Standing, you know the funniest man in the competition was actually denied a slot on the show. He was so obviously the top talent in the competition that when he was denied a slot on the show, celebrity "judges" (turns out they weren't judging anything-- it was a rigged job) walked off the stage while on camera and personally apologized to the man, and also chewed out the producers. The guy's name is Dan Naturman. He's hysterical. He's got this bizarre throwback cadence -- he sounds a little like a 1940's radio announcer -- and he's got the jokes along with the delivery. As an added bonus: Although so much of his statement was bleeped out for profanity that I can't absolutely swear what the man said, I think he called Michael Moore's movie an absolute pack of bullshit and lies on tonight's Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. His act is non-political, so I had no idea what his politics were before deciding he was hugely talented. To tell you the truth, I'm still not sure what the hell his politics are; he could be very liberal, but conservative on the question of Iraq. Or maybe he just hates Michael Moore. Or maybe I misunderstood what he was saying about Moore entirely (although Colin Quinn seemed to take it as a dig; he enjoyed the remark, whatever it was). Whether he's liberal or conservative, he's funny as hell, and he got screwed out of his rightful place on Last Comic Standing as the comedian to beat. So, if you happen to notice the guy's name at your local comedy club, check him out. I can say with a high degree of confidence you'll laugh yourselves silly. A little bit of his act can be found here; (real audio, broadband; for lowband, check his site.) It's fairly work safe; it's an appearance from Conan O'Brien, so there's no cursing or terribly objectionable material. But the end of his bit is about prison rape; his main point is that he doesn't fear the actual sex so much as the cuddling, which I think is an interesting observation. Update: If you're in New York and a nightowl, he's appearing at the Comedy Cellar on MacDougal Street in the 11:00 pm set Wednesday night (tonight), which means he might not get on until 1:00 am. Update: Apparently he was plugging an anti-Moore website called MooreLies. The bleeping was probably not for profanity, then, but Comedy Central censors bleeping out the "www" and "dot com" to avoid giving a free commercial plug. posted by Ace at 02:30 AM
CommentsGahd DAMN - is that an effin REAL AUDIO file? Real Audio is the devil. Didn't nobody teach you that son? Posted by: fat kid on June 30, 2004 02:55 AM
Two words fir ya, fatty, "Real Alternative." Do a search and install... it plays wma, ram, mov and a whole host of other formats without having to install the system resourcing sucking spyware riced-out pos from Real. Yea, it's freeware. God I love these left-wing altruistic hacker kids. Posted by: Ron C on June 30, 2004 05:08 AM
If you want a funny, and conservative, comedian look no further then Larry the Cable Guy. Absolutely hilarious. Posted by: madne0 on June 30, 2004 07:00 AM
I was watching Tough Crowd and saw that too. I'm pretty sure he said Moore was a liar, which is interesting. Unfortunately, with that crowd, he really never got a word in edgewise. Is tough crowd getting replaced with that new debate show? That would suck. Posted by: Mike on June 30, 2004 09:51 AM
"Is tough crowd getting replaced with that new debate show?" No, looks like Crossballs will air on Tues. and Thurs. in prime time. I'll reserve judgment until I see it, but it's cool that the guy from Timebelt is the host. And Mary Birdsong is HOTT. Posted by: Jim Treacher on June 30, 2004 10:02 AM
I like the show "last comic..." but I'm shocked by how unfunny a couple of the contestants are ... Posted by: Bill from INDC Journal on June 30, 2004 10:48 AM
He says he was plugging the www.moorelies.com website, which is kinda neat. Small f'n' world. Posted by: ace on June 30, 2004 01:11 PM
I don't want to get off-topic here, but am I the only person who doesn't find this "Ant" person especially funny? He has so little material he used the same joke three weeks in a row. As a comedian he makes a great tour guide. Posted by: Czar Chasm on June 30, 2004 01:31 PM
I think most people don't find Ant funny. I think Margaret Cho fans probably find him howlingly funny. Or at least "funny." "Funny," meaning "not really funny, but I wish to affirm his lifestyle choices by clapping and pretending to howl." All he does is the gay schtick, which, if I were to do it, would be homophobic. I'm always annoyed by comics who are too wrapped up in their own tribal-thing (as female comics so often are-- how many jokes can we hear about boyfriends, mothers, boobs, and dieting?) Elvira Kurt is a lesbian comic who only does a little bit of her act on lesbianism, and she's actually funny, both in the lesbian and non-lesbian parts. (Okay, she also immitates her immigrant mother's accent, but unlike Margaret Cho, her impression is funny.) On the other hand, there's Judy Fucking Gold. Posted by: Ace on June 30, 2004 02:34 PM
I haven't seen Ant's standup, but his Tour Guide sctick, you must admit, was hilarious -- especially the fact that he made it all up. Personally, I'm glad the guy who lost last night did -- he made a joke about animal cruelty at some point, and not only was it offensive, it wasn't really funny. Posted by: Brian B on June 30, 2004 02:36 PM
I like the show "last comic..." but I'm shocked by how unfunny a couple of the contestants are ... Yeah, it's pretty strange that these are the best not-yet-widely-discovered comics in the country. Some are funny (Gary Gulman, the one black guy), some are sorta funny (Todd Glass, John Hefron, the other black guy), and some are just not-funny (Ant). They're funnier as a group than the comics last season, many of whom were unfunny and very amateurish. This season, there are a lot more old-hands and veterans in the contest; I think last season a lot of veterans didn't want to do the show because they didn't want to call themselves "undiscovered talents." So last season had a lot more near-amateurs, which was both good and bad. Bad, because they weren't really terribly good, but good, because they really were newcomers, and it was sort of interesting to see people like Dat Fan and Rob Cantrell actually go from nobodies to somebodies in a few weeks. Most of the comics this year are pretty well established, which makes this year's show sort of like a contest to find the world's tallest midget. Yeah, they haven't broken big yet, but they're all in-demand working comics. Posted by: Ace on June 30, 2004 02:40 PM
Money quote regarding prison sex: "You got me. Yeaaaah. Just don't make me hold your hand in the cafeteria." Thanks for the lead. I *still* miss Bill Hicks, damnit. (Yes, he was as left as he could be but gawddamit, he was funny.) Posted by: Emma on June 30, 2004 04:46 PM
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People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.
Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.
Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker. And I guess you think you've got it made Oh, but then, you never were afraid Of anything that you've left behind Oh, but it's alright with me now 'Cause I'll get back up somehow And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area.
Ryan Long goes to the No Kings rally to pick up young liberal hotties and is greatly disappointed in the quality of the mish
thanks to stevey You know we "joke" about the GOPe just "conserving" leftist things? I couldn't hate this queen of the cuck-chair more if it paid seven figures and came with a corner office.
In more marketing for Project Hail Mary, scientists say they've found the biosigns indicating life growing on an alien planet. It's not proof, just signatures of chemicals that are produced by biological metabolism, and it could be nothing, but scientists think it's a strong sign that this planet is inhabited by something.
In a paper published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters, a team of scientists announced the detection of dimethyl sulfide (along with a similar detection of dimethyl disulfide) in the atmosphere of an exoplanet called K2-18b. This is actually the second detection of dimethyl sulfide made on this planet, following a tentative detection in 2023. He means they tried to prove the signal was caused by things other than dimethyl sulfide but they could not.
Artemis moon shot a go, scheduled for 6:24 Eastern time tonight
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