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June 16, 2004

Today's Top Ten

Well, Clinton's Secretary of Labor Robert "This isn't necessarily a baguette" Reich just posed nude for a calendar. I hear that other liberals will be joining in this so-called "Erotic Initiative" to titilate swing voters.

Top Ten Other Forays of Democrats Into Tasteful Erotica

10. Janet Reno's combination erotic newsletter-slash-trap-shooter's bible

9. An audio book of all the dirty parts from Tropic of Cancer, as seductively read by Susan Estrich

8. The Illustrated Guide to Erotic Body-Painting, by the editors of Penthouse Magazine (with an introduction by Paul Krugman)

7. Foggy Bottoms: The Sensual Anal Erotica of Madeleine Albright

6. Joycelyn Elders makes a surprise cameo on Sesame Street and joins Elmo and Snuffaluffagus to sing pro-masturbation song, Ain't Nothing Borin' About a Little Exlporin'

5. Chris Lehane applies for a job as Erotic Advice Columnist for Salon magazine; fails to get the job due to his difficulty in defining and explaining the term "vaginal sex"

4. Michael Moore and The Playboy Advisor team up to present a "sexy" video exploring "all facets" of male sexuality, tentatively titled Dude, Where's My Prostate?

3. Four words: Live! Nude! Paul Begala!

2. Old Dennis Kucinich campaign schtick: I'd like a to meet a vibrant, attractive woman whom I can court, marry, and then grow old with
New Dennis Kucinich campaign schtick: I'll settle for someone with at least twenty teeth and 8-12 toes

...and the Number One Upcoming Foray of Democrats into Erotica...

1. My Life: The Autobiography of Bill Clinton

Correction! Rubber Glove pointed out that I spelled "prostate" wrong.

Whoops!

posted by Ace at 12:48 PM

Comments

The Susan Estrich one almost made me lose it. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Seriously, lady, 400 packs a day since you were thirteen was not a good idea.

Posted by: Aaron on June 16, 2004 12:52 PM

The Estrich is golden.

I've been missing the top 10.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on June 16, 2004 01:17 PM

Re: Foggy Bottoms

Sir,

That was uncalled for.

Sincerely,

Larry Flynt

Posted by: ccwbass on June 16, 2004 01:21 PM

After the Janet Reno one I thought it couldn't get any worse. Then: Foggy Bottoms.

I need to go bleach my eyes.

Posted by: hobgoblin on June 16, 2004 01:39 PM

OMG! Democrats just keep getting nuttier and nuttier.

Posted by: Vickie on June 16, 2004 01:50 PM

Reminds me of the calendar that was done last year by a bunch of old men at the Long Tom Grange (Don't ask) here in Oregon -- the proceeds go to charity.

So the dems are nutty and also behind the curve. Whodathunkit?

Posted by: Brian B on June 16, 2004 02:08 PM

Ace, please refrain from such overt examples of humor, when I read this I laughed till I farted. I think I soiled myself a little. You owe me a fresh pair of undies sir.

Gassily yours,
Marty

Posted by: Marty on June 16, 2004 02:45 PM

Thsnks for, uh, er, uh, sharing, Marty.

Posted by: kelly on June 16, 2004 07:44 PM

"Where's my prostrate?"
Must be lying down somewhere around here.

Posted by: Rubber Glove on June 16, 2004 08:39 PM

Eeesh. Ooops.

Posted by: ace on June 16, 2004 08:44 PM

I gotta tell ya, a blue shirt, a red pointy hat, and Reich has a paying gig with Travelocity.com

Posted by: David on June 16, 2004 08:53 PM

Has Michael Moore actually ever seen his penis?

Posted by: Bogtrotter on January 16, 2005 06:53 PM

I like this quote:

"no one died when Clinton lied..."

Posted by: Evan on August 10, 2005 10:12 PM