Saturday Night Club ONT - July 11, 2026 [D&D]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. We built this place for you so you can have some fun. Come in in, grab a drink or 3. Keep it light and friendly. Jerks need not enter the premises (the moose out front is keeping track and you do NOT want to disappoint the moose).

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

My wife asked me to see a psychologist about my anger issues.

The doctor asked, “If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?”

I replied, “I’d get in my helicopter and fly away.”

The doctor asked, “Where did you get a helicopter?”

I replied, “The same fuckin’ place you got that train from!”

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"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"

"'Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads!"

Drink of the Night

Today is 7/11, so go grab a Slurpee! Not just ANY Slurpee. One fit for The Club!

Hard Slurpee®

Did we just mix a Slurpee drink with booze? You bet we did and it’s delicious.

Grab your favorite Slurpee flavors, add some ice-cold booze and voila! You’ve just reached Hard Slurpee status. Easy, right? It’s like they practically make themselves. So, why are you still reading this? Get that liquor in the freezer, grab a Slurpee drink and start mixing things up. We’ve got our own Hard Slurpee cocktail to make.

7-eleven suggests a few varieties

Party Fuel Hard Slurpee ½ cherrysthebomb.com Slurpee ½ Bloop Razzle Slurpee 2 oz. ice-cold vodka

Poolside Colada Hard Slurpee
½ Pinata Colada Slurpee
½ Peelin’ Out Slurpee
2 oz. ice-cold rum

Sundae Funday Hard Slurpee
½ cherrysthebomb.com Slurpee
½ Peelin’ Out Slurpee Slurpee
2 oz. ice-cold vodka

Freeze vodka / rum before using. Mix after pouring.

Club ONT Department of Pet Training

One of the D's is training a bird to work in the Club. We can't say which D did this, but it's not difficult to figure out

Club ONT Department of Medical Advice

Club ONT Department of Bear News

Bear enters mall on Alaska military base, poops on floor

A black bear wandered into the shopping mall on Alaska's Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson to eat a single peach and defecate on the floor before leaving.

The bear was caught on camera entering the Exchange shopping mall on the base - which is commonly known by the acronym JBER, pronounced "J-bear" - about 9 a.m. Sunday.

The bear entered the Commissary, ate a single peach and pooped on the floor before vacating the building, officials said.

Club ONT Department of Eccentric Motorsport

Club ONT Department of Music Theory

Can any among the Horde play the drum intro for Van Halen's Hot for Teacher?

Club ONT Jukebox

Randomness? You betcha!

Top 10ish Comments of the Week

Club ONT is brought to you from far far away in another galaxy:

No, Club ONT staff have not been in contact with The Turtle. The only turtle sightings around here are Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael. They are heroes in a half-shell.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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