When Bush announced virtually the same policy in the past, he was ridiculed as a cowboy.

Please. The only time France breaks out the big guns is when they're shooting unarmed African protesters in the Ivory Coast.

This is just those crap weasels' way of say to Iran, 'you want to build a bomb? Fine. Want to nuke those damn Jews? Fine, we do to but we can't, it wouldn't look right. Want to nuke those obnoxious Americans? Whatever. Just don't think about messing with us"

They want to sound tough but it's just their way of hidding and praying they will be left alone or at least killed last.

The French are a disgusting people.

France has never been one to shy away from killing third world civilians.

A truly brave stance would be:

"We will nuke you if you nuke ANYBODY."

The French can only manage:

"We will nuke you if you nuke France."

No vision there.

And if the French get really mad, they'll set the terrorists' cars on fire.

Al Qaeda has been hoping to provoke, through terrorist attacks, an over-reaction from a Western state against a Muslim nation. As a result, the real "Muslim Street" would simply end debate and join the side of the jihadis.

This is just the motivation they were looking for.

Uh oh for France. This seems ripe for miscalculation.

By Chirac's standard, wouldn't we have been justified in nuking Afghanistan? Would we have had French support?

(I don't think it would have been a good idea, but doesn't it follow?)

......

Libertie,
Fraternitie,
Exploditie

......

France's force de frappe is a pretty weak threat, in any case: the missile fields on the plateau d'Albion haven't been maintained all that well, and apart from some simple warhead tests, there's some doubt whether the French IRBMs even work. De Gaulle instituted the nuclear program mainly to assuage French pride (and to chaff NATO and the Warsaw Pact at the same time).

It's just the French being the French. Don't mean nothin'.

I think the press was just a bit confused by Chirac's pronunciation. He actually said there would be "No clear strikes against terrorist states."

He just said it in his Inspector Clouseu accent.

Who let France get the bomb? Seriously, I hate to sound like a dumbass but it never even occurred to me they were a nuclear "power". I mean, the Brits, sure. They're a real country. But France? That's like letting your kid play with power tools. You're gay retarded kid.

Biff, someone set France up the bomb.

We just don't know who.

Biff Boff:

Actually, Eisenhower did -- we actually gave them the plans for a fission weapon (by some accounts, anyway). It was our way of keeping them in the NATO fold after De Gaulle started being an asshole. It didn't work -- De Gaulle withdrew France from NATO and forced the headquarters to move to Belgium ("France Lite").

I think the French invented their own thermonuclear weapon, though -- they had a long history in particle physics, beginning with Marie and Pierre Curie (and the Joliot-Curies later). The French got into trouble a few years back for doing a nuclear test in the South Pacific.

Then I'd say their weapons do not work. If they did, they would have set them off on themselves long ago. You know, prancing around the living room with them draped over their shoulders to see how they look.

Implicit in this announcement is that terrorism is not really the freelance market it's made out to be. Major terrorist groups require state sponsors and terrorism is really just war-by-proxy, more akin to privateering than piracy.

De Gaulle withdrew France from NATO and forced the headquarters to move to Belgium

Only, France didn't completely withdraw from NATO. They're still a member, they just don't have the same obligations as the other members, whereas they have the same vote. Which really ruins the point, doesn't it? But we placated, to the detriment of NATO and to the detriment of our position in the cold war, while France undermined NATO from within and sold itself as a "non-aligned" nation.

Did you ever date a psycho chick who just used you ever and over again? Years later, you look back and wonder what the hell you were thinking? Me, neither. But it's a good metaphor for our relationship with France, anyhow.

Giving the French their due, I think they're quite capable of building a working bomb and a rocket that would get it to the target. But Chirac's threat loses credibility when you consider the likely domestic response. Think the New Year's riots were messy? Imagine the reaction in the banlieues if France nuked a Muslim city.

I'm all for any kind of nuking. The new TV season is boring.

We should nuke something and then blame it on France -- that would be the best practical joke ever.

Ooooooh, good idea, adolfo! Nothing like a little humor between friends. :-)

We should nuke something and then blame it on France

Jeezus, Adolfo, that's brilliant. I'd suggest you email that proposal straight to the White House, if I weren't certain that Cheney has already worked the whole thing out and is just dotting the i's and crossing the t's.

OT

While we are on the A-Bomb topic, is any one else out there nervous about a Super Bowl in Detroit, home of the largest Muslim population in the US, after OBL just issued a threat that " Operations are in preparation and you will see them on your own ground once the preparations are finished"

Is it just me?

Oh, adolfo doesn't have to. The government's reading everything we type anyway, right? If they never considered it, now they can! Woohoo! See, spying ain't so bad!

I think we should dress a U.S. special forces team as a group of Al Qaeda terrorists and have them kidnap and behead Jerry Lewis.

France Nukes most of the Muslim world.

French Muslims Burn France to the ground.

Jerry Lewis Dead.

Top that plan Rumsfeld.

Good point, Muslihoon. I completely forgot that we are always under the watchful eye of Dick Cheney's All-Seeing Genitals.

Remember, the French "bombe à hydrogène" is actually better translated as "cake full of hot air". This is what Chirac is really proposing. It is a stern and powerful warning, but delicious and buttery as well.

The only nuclear threat France faces is from her own "citizens." Where will France's retribution be directed, then?

Giving the French their due, I think they're quite capable of building a working bomb and a rocket that would get it to the target.

Umm, no. After the fiasco that has been the Charles de Gaulle 40K ton light aircraft carrier, a 4 billion dollar lemon that took 11 years to build, I wouldn't put much faith in French technology. I'm sure their bombs explode, that's not hard, the delivery system I'd be a bit worried about. The rocket's software navigation (written by someone like Michel Houellebecq) will probably do a "Software Buffer Overflow Error, Press OK to Debug" and end up dropping on Lyons. Though that's more or less a win/win situation for us.

Whenever I see that "Mike"guy on 24 (advisor to waste-of-skin President Logan), I 'm reminded of Dick Cheney. Only difference is that compared to Cheney, Mike is a delicate, frilly petunia.

Namby-Pamby "Nuclear" Nattering Numbs Normal Network. Nauseatingly Naive Nothingness.

So, you think you could out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior?! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey-bottom biters.

Yes, depart a lot at this time and cut the approaching any more, or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already! Ha ha haaa ha!

And now, remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! And, if you think you got a nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet!

The Charles De Gaulle is a major embarrassment, Otho, no question about it. But, as you said, bombs are pretty simple. So are rockets, and IIRC the French build the main stage for the Ariane rocket, which is at least as dependable as anything we're flying.

I'm not giving the French a lot of credit, but they are more technologically proficient than the Iranians, who are much more likely to vaporize a chunk of their own country. It's depressing to think that might actually be one of the more positive outcomes of this mess.

If France wiped out the Shiites of Iran, I'm not so sure their Sunni North Africans would be all that upset, actually, would they? (other than as a good excuse to flambe a few Peugots, but they're gonna do that anyway).

"Package delivery for you. It is a bomb."

- Inspector Clouseau

Did you say a "bumb"?

They want the bomb, I say that is enough. The president ought to be threatening to nuke their population centers unless they convert to Methodism. Oh, hell with it, just nuke them now and get it over with, they wouldn't be sincere converts anyway. Just leave the oil fields alone.

THAT would really make the Muslims scared.

So, France is going to nuke itself? (Joke)

Seriously, the French have ballistic missile submarines, have had them for years (part of the problem with the carrier was using a submarine reactor for power and scaling it up instead of doing a new reactor from scratch) and could make a total mess of Iran.

If you discount the hyperbole, it isn't a light threat. France could deliver working nuclear warheads over Iran and totally screw them up.

After the check clears, of course. Marianne's a working girl, and she has needs!

"Horrifying"? Please, all the waiting is banal. I've been using, "Nagasaki, Hiroshima, why not Iran?," as my mantra for meditation since the late 1970s, and it's getting a little stale.

Of course Chirac would be willing to use the nuke option. Just as soon as someone reminds him where the button is.

(hint: think Germany. In two wars they have taken everything else you ever had, including your pride and your manhood.)

As an alternative, the French could pretend their white flags of victory are nukes. They always know where they are.

They want the bomb, I say that is enough.
Posted by: searp on January 19, 2006 08:04 PM

Probably a good thing nobody asked you then.
Got any ideas on who doesn't want the bomb ?

Got any ideas on who doesn't want the bomb ?

Tom Lehrer's take in 1965:

First we got the bomb and that was good,
'Cause we love peace and motherhood.
Then Russia got the bomb, but that's O.K.,
'Cause the balance of power's maintained that way!
Who's next?

France got the bomb, but don't you grieve,
'Cause they're on our side (I believe).
China got the bomb, but have no fears;
They can't wipe us out for at least five years!*
Who's next?

Then Indonesia claimed that they
Were gonna get one any day.
South Africa wants two, that's right:
One for the black and one for the white!**
Who's next?

Egypt's gonna get one, too,
Just to use on you know who.
So Israel's getting tense,
Wants one in self defense.
"The Lord's our shepherd," says the psalm,
But just in case, we better get a bomb!
Who's next?

Luxembourg is next to go
And, who knows, maybe Monaco.
We'll try to stay serene and calm
When Alabama gets the bomb!
Who's next, who's next, who's next?
Who's next?

I don't understand why France is on the security council at all, with a veto no less. Didn't they lose WWII?