I'm wondering where those freed-up Anbar troops are going: home, or to the Iranian border. If they stay in-theater after standdown, you can bet that Iran's number is almost up.

I have no doubt they do have a plan, ace. They just haven't shared it with you. Sorry.

Hi everyone!

Yeah, some sort of plan. Like first concentrating on creating a civil structure, perhaps evidenced by a written document on which the new Iraqi govt. will be formed. In the meantime, rebuilding Iraqi infrastructure. And then pushing the ratline back to the border.

It seems to me that if only the Bush administration had had a spiffy powerpoint presentation, the bad guys would have surrendered by now.

Oh wait, OBL just put up a white flag feeler.

Ace, you've fallen under control of the Rovian mind-rays again.

Otherwise, you would recognize that this is obviously a cover for our ignominious retreat, which is happening because we're losing and for political reasons as the 2006 elections approach.

I've read this blog a long time. That, without doubt is the lamest remark Ace has ever made, hyperbole intended.
For a guy dispensing news he surely never reads it.

Look up "sarcasm" here: www.m-w.com

Geez, Ace has made a lot of lame remarks, lurker.

But making fun of the leftwing wish/spin machine is always a winner.

I think he's attacking me from the *right.* I think he thinks I'm serious that Bush hasn't proposed a "plan" along these lines.

Thus the "he surely never reads" the news remark.

TallDave,

I left a message for ya.

Ace says lots of things.

Remember when he claimed to be an alien lizard-monster overlord? Once the Val-U-Rite had worn off, he was right back to normal. No fear.

"Remember when he claimed to be an alien lizard-monster overlord? Once the Val-U-Rite had worn off, he was right back to normal. "

Yeah, he went right back to being an alien lizard-monster district chief.

It reminds me of that bit from Hunter Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:

Our vibrations were getting nasty -- but why? Was there no communication in this car? Had we deteriorated to the level of dumb beasts?

Is no one capable of comprehending my genius as I really explore the studio space?

Obviously, not. Keep working at it.

Maybe you should just do a "do over" for this topic.

I mean, why you picking on shawn?

I'm not really picking on him, or I didn't intend to. I was just suprised that I could be mistaken here. How pro-war and sarcastic do I have to be to let people know I'm pro-war and sarcastic?

The end thing about "Can't anyone understand my genius?" was supposed to be funny, in a Rush Limbaugh type mock-arrogance way.

Ace, I'm feelin' you.

The key is making sure the Iraqi troops don't cave to the various insurgent terrorist groups.
Don't get me wrong, if someone was threatening to behead my children, I might cave too.

I also wonder--how do we spot the moles?

Shawn,

No offense was intended, I just meant to rib, is all.

I took out the "Dopey McDopertons" line. I meant that to just be a silly put-down, not a serious one, but I've taken it out.

We cool?

The end thing about "Can't anyone understand my genius?" was supposed to be funny, in a Rush Limbaugh type mock-arrogance way.

It was funny. That much I got. I'll restrict my posting to threads on aging kid actors from now on.

The Dopey McDoperton line was the best part!

I just figured that Shawn was being sarcastic, like Ace.

If he was serious, he is misinformed and/or doesn't get the humor or read the news.

The "stand up--stand down" line has been stated repeatedly by Bush.

ACE, DOES IT ANNOY YOU IF I TALK REALLY LOUD?
I WOULD HATE TO DO ANYTHING THAT GETS ON YOUR NERVES!
I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE ANNOYING! SO LET ME KNOW IF I'M BUGGING YOU!!!

We cool?

I didn't complain.

I knew Dopey McDoperton! And sir, you are no Dopey McDoperton!

Wonder what scarshapedshitweed thinks about this.

Shawn,

Seriously, no offense was meant. It's just that, well, sarcasm is my stock in trade here. If I sound like I'm saying something that I conservative wouldn't ordinarily say, it's probably that I'm mocking the left.

I took down the reference to you as well.

Apparently, Ace doesn't allow blinking text. Fascist.

Just so, 'Squatch. What do you say we never let him live this one down?

I just figured that Shawn was being sarcastic, like Ace.

I was.

If he was serious, he is misinformed and/or doesn't get the humor or read the news.

Now you blew it.

Ace, this is the trouble with dealing with the public.

Over time, no matter how good your customer service skills are, you want to kill off a small percentage of your clientele and burn their bodies on a pyre and force-feed their ashes to their descendants.

This is normal and it will pass.

yer placating

Maybe we can get a group hug.

Or maybe we can acknowledge that Ace runs his site like a plantation. I think you know what I'ma saying. I think you do. Uh huh

Ace, once again, I'm not that thin-skin. prick.

Ace, are you placating? I thought we didn't do that around here.

Shawn is not placating.

I don't think Ace is really placating. He's just exploring the placatory part of the studio space.

The first--the very first --rule of Sarcasm, is:

DON'T USE SARCASM ON STUPID PEOPLE!!!

Really, Ace, I'm surprised at you.

sorta like Rush does, eh?

Shawn,

No, you didn't complain. JoeInDC did on your behalf, which is when I thought I'd crossed a line.

Let's just agree that he's a pussy and move on.

Shawn:

Now you blew it.

Yeah, that was last night, and it was not on line.

Spongeworthy: Who should we never let live it down? I'm in, just let me know who.

To really explore the studio space, you need more cowbell.

Switching off Lifetime TV and getting back on topic...

I don't know how you fascist neocons can gloat while there are still opium poppies alive in Afghanistan.

Hey, Dippy McDipstick, its called sarcasm

You can go here to look it up.

Who is shawn and why is Ace kissing his ass?

A hollywood agent looking for scripts I'm thinking?

Oh no you didn't! (what I wish I had said)

And you triumphalist rethuglicans need shouldn't be congratulating each other when the new Iraqi government's first step will be to merge with Iran to create an Islamic superstate. Because they love Iran in Iraq. Thus, in winning, we have lost. All because Bush didn't have a colorful, multimedia powerpoint presentation!!!!

A hollywood agent looking for scripts I'm thinking?

Either that or a Latino pre-op transexual prostitute

(Kinda the same thing on one level.)

Upon further review, I believe that Shawn is backpedaling.

Let's review: "I have no doubt they do have a plan, ace. They just haven't shared it with you. Sorry."

And:

Ace: Is no one capable of comprehending my genius as I really explore the studio space?

Shawn: Obviously, not. Keep working at it.

And, after repeated apologies from our host, the most gracious thing Shawn can say is "I didn't complain".

You've answered your owjn question, LD. It's shawn who must be made to pay for his thickness, and not just on any flame thread either.

Shawn "Dopey" McDopestein. The Dopenheimer.

Waitaminute-- I thought this whole blog was an experiment in sarcasm. You mean you really are a rethuglican chickenhawk? You dont really enjoy gay cowboy movies?

My world is crashing down aroung me.

How can anyone question or doubt Ace? He's God! Proof:
A. Many people have heard Ace.
B. Many people have (claimed to have) heard God.
C. Ace writes.
D. God wrote.
E. No one has seen Ace.
F. No one has seen God. (Well, not everyone can see God.)
G. Only Allah has seen Ace.
H. "Allah" is "God."
I. God saw God. Duh! That's so easy - God has only to look in a mirror!
Therefore: J. Ace is God.

See, simple! And irrefutable. Else you're an infidel heretic monkey donkey pig-dog. Ululululululululululu!

"Dopey my-nuts-are-in-a-flutter-stein."

Oh, but wait! How could I have missed this gem from Shawn:

Ace, once again, I'm not that thin-skin. prick.

This thread has begun to bore me. Sure, Ace is happy, Lipstick is happy, and Shawn might even be happy unless he's still pissed at Ace. And here I am not being entertained.

Somebody better start being entertaining, dammit -- I don't want to have to light any bums on fire to get my giggle-fix today.

I got nothing funny. but I bet you would enjoy this.

I dunno, burning bums sounds pretty funny. (I assume you're referring to hobos, not heinies.) (And by heinies I mean derrierres, not Krauts.) (By Krauts I mean boxheads, not cabbages.) (I looked up the wikipedia page on "offensive terms per nationality" and learned that "boxheads" is a British offensive term for Germans. Boy, you learn something new every day.)

Anyway, New Horizons launched successfully. That's pretty cool.

Incidentally, "Tschingg" is a pejorative term used by the Swiss to refer to the Italians. Now I know why I got funny looks when I mimed drawing a sword and made the metal-ringing-on-metal sound-effect when I was in Italy.*

*Exactly one part of this story is true.

My word. This wikipedia page also has a link to "Dirty Sanchez," under the list of offensive terms for Mexicans. I will not, however, click on it, because I have a feeling I'll be so much happier not knowing what it is.

Anyway, I'm just trying to find a list of offensive words for Americans. I want to know what cheese-eating surrender monkeys call us.

"what cheese-eating surrender monkeys call us."

They call us for help....

So why did you pull a fake sword?

I have a feeling I'll be so much happier not knowing what it is

wise decision

I have found that when it comes to the internet, ignorance really is bliss.

I want to know what cheese-eating surrender monkeys call us.

Daddy.

It wasn't her, it wasn't a sword, and the sound was more like "schwing!"

They call us "Amerloque." That's all they've got? C'mon. Master of None has it right.

I personally like what the Poles have the gall to call us: "Kałboj," which wikipedia says is, quote, "derived from 'cowboy' and the word 'kał' meaning "solid byproduct of digestion" in Polish language."

And the Koreans have a good one, too: "Round eye burger muncher."

RWS - that's not the true part of the story. In fact, the whole thing is made up except for the last four words. I don't think I've ever mimed drawing a sword in public, with or without the sound effect.

Genius!

I had a friend who was an exchange student in Japan for a couple of years, and he heard a derogatory name for Americans that was kind of cool. I can't remember the Japanese name (and can't reproduce it in Katakana or Hiragana anyhow), but it came to something like "Long-Nosed Northern Demon".

Did somebody say "Quagmire"?

Giggity, giggity, gig-it-ty!

Transfer Tactic Tests Thick Throng's Theology, Threatens Threadbare, Thoughtless Themes

I asked some British folks this question, after I asked them to say "pip pip, cheerio."

It turns out that they do the California, "dude, surfsup" thing for Americans.

Or at least that's what they told me, they coulda been sarcastic.

BTW, Ace, it's "MIC" not "MIKE"

Grammar Nazi/OUT!

BTW, Ace, it's "MIC" not "MIKE"

Actually, it can be spelled either way.

Question: What IQ level is too low for sarcasm to be effective?

Discuss.