"Did the Treaty of Ghent involve our custodianship of their balls?"

They're in a warehouse, next to the Ark of the Covenant.

Wonder what would have happened if he'd said "pondscum?"

I assume you are refering to the war of 1812 as one "lost war" —which may be fair since our only major victory came 2 weeks after the peace treaty; or may not since we essentially acheived our war aims in said treaty— but what was the other one?

At David Copperfield's Brit cop blog a commenter "Sal" posts:

I should have realised that this job was going to be a worry when, just over two years ago during my initial two weeks training at HQ, my fellow recruits and I were informed we could not use the term 'flipchart' as it may be deemed offensive to people of Phillipine origin. I clearly should have walked out then.

The U.K. is well on its way.

We lost 1812 because Dick Cheney's Cock and JBM were on vacation in France helping a little Corsican bastard lay waste to the whole place. When DCC and JBM found out what was going on in the US they left the stupid little shit to fend for himself outside of a little town called Waterloo.

We pretty much lost two wars to these guys? Really? Did the Treaty of Ghent involve our custodianship of their balls?

What two wars would that be? Granted, they were slapping us silly in the War of 1812 until they decided it wasn't worth their time and walked away from the fight, but what was the other war?

Surely you don't mean the Revolutionary War. Sure, we had a lot of help, etc., but in the end we won that one. I don't see any way that could be counted as a victory for the British.

On the flip side, Blair is working on getting rid of... those pesky jury trials. Not for terrorists -- for all "petty" criminals.

Basically, they need Giuliani as PM.

No they need ME as omnipotent King.

Forgot to say that between all this and the self-emasulation of the Tories under Cameron, I've already written off the Brits.

(Unless, of course, they DO call on Rudy...)

Sobek, you crack me up! Thanks for the laugh.

Cop's Comment Causes Co-Constable Consternation

I'm a Brit (or was a Brit) and I am very aware of 1812, which is pretty much as Bob describes it.

We realised that we'd gotten called on our slave-raiding... oops... "impressment" policies against neutral American ships, and we agreed to stop that. Our bad. But when you fuckers invaded Canada, unprovoked, we figured we'd at least get you to stay south of the border.

Given that New England was threatening seccession at the time, we probably could have made a move for that too. But we figured that they could do a lot more damage if we let them stay on. Besides we've got enough drunken Kennedies of our own, thank you.

Officer's Oafish Oratory Objectionable to Otherwise Oblivious Offender

Honestly, is there such a thing as "too many Drunk Kennedys?" I mean, seriously, imagine a world without a whole ton of drunk Kennedys.

I'm sorry, that's just too horrible to contemplate {shudder}

I mean, seriously, imagine a world without a whole ton of drunk Kennedys.

Oh the humanity.! The dates not raped! The 14-year old babysitters that will remain virgins! The 16-year old neighbor girls that won't be beaten to death with golfclubs! The girls from the office that need a ride home and won't be abandoned in a submerged car The 25 year long fuitfull marriages that won't be annulled!

Oh the horror I can't go on,,,,,,,

(Actually I could, but I won't.)

"Ashk not [hic] what your country cahn do for you [erp] hey, shexy, c'mere an' give ol' Unca Teddy a kish [blurp] HEY! Where ya GOIN'?? I'm a [hic] Shenatah, bitch!"

- Thomas (Teddy) Jefferson Kennedy - 1787

What ever became of freedom of speech cant anyone say anything without getting some whinning idiots upset?

What those guys needs is a good Oliver Cromwell reincarnation. You know, just to go in there and fuck shit up.

Never been there, but from what I read on sites like this (http://www.melaniephillips.com), Britain is gone.

"Oh the humanity.! The dates not raped! The 14-year old babysitters that will remain virgins! The 16-year old neighbor girls that won't be beaten to death with golfclubs! The girls from the office that need a ride home and won't be abandoned in a submerged car The 25 year long fuitfull marriages that won't be annulled!"

The unruly daughters not lobotomized!

We so did not lose 2 wars to those limeys.

Was the con muslim? The article didn't say...

Remember Dirty Harry.......

Wanker is right out!

Perhaps the British or the naturalized Anglo-Americans could comment on the expression "pondlife". Is that really such an offensive expression? I realize someone could be a little hurt at being compared to a salamander or the sort of plant that forms a scum on the top of a pond. Still, that seems like a relatively mild way to refer to a career criminal compared to the sort of blunt expression we uncouth Yanks would come up with. I can't see us firing an NYPD officer because he referred to an American career criminal as a "lowlife", a "crook", or even the perhaps cruder expression of "skell". Are lowlife career crooks in the U.K. more delicate of feeling than they are in the U.S.?

Is the other war you're reffering to something before the revolution, like the French and Indian War, or an aborted previous seccession attempt?

Why are they insulting FROGS and pond bugs by comparing them to those RIFF RAFF?