I've been heart-broken before.
Please don't tease me.

Dean Wormer is dead.
Really. He is.

Hellifire means happiness when you're talking about AQ scumbags. Here's hoping the cooling chunks of Al-Zawahiri's body are furnishing a filling meal for the stray dogs of the area.

Another report had villagers saying these planes had been circling the area for days. So, if you were Mr. #2 Terrorist wouldn't you get the hell out of dodge? But, then you might end up like this:
Smudge in the desert

I don't even want to think about what that DNA sample could be, or where we got it.

Uhh... 2 or 3 Hellfire missiles is not a massive attack, but my fingers are crossed.

Hellfire missiles are like Brylcreem, RiverRat. A little dab'll do ya.

I wonder if his recent videorecording release had anything to do with this strike?

I question the timing.

NO PRISONERS!!

You know, I actually felt a little sorry for Zawahiri when I read that letter he wrote to Zarqawi. I got the impression of a terribly earnest individual who truly believes what he says.

And then I remembered he was an f'n terrorist.

It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes.

We didn't quit when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, did we?

I am not a lurker.

I like dead zawahirizimohamu, whatever, guys.

Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.

"Here's hoping the cooling chunks of Al-Zawahiri's body are furnishing a filling meal for the stray dogs of the area."

Please, a little cultural sensitivity! Better that he be "a filling meal for the stray [pigs] of the area." Remember, Muslims despise swine as unclean. I'd love to know Al-Zawahiri's remains were exiting the alimentary canal of that "most filhy" of animals.

No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.

And we're just the guys to do it.

"Excuse me, could I buy 10,000 marbles?"

I think I'm in love with a retard.

al jazeera is reporting him dead.

Greg, look at my thumb.

Otter, you're such a jackass. Making out with my friend when my body's not even cold yet? Asshole.

I wanna believe. Of course, this won't forestall any "He said he would get Osama, so where is he?" arguments from the libs.

The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.

"I think I'm in love with a retard."

Is he bigger than me?

"Greg, look at my thumb."

Gee, you're dumb.

you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fucked up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help

Still want to show me your cucumber?

bbeck, it's not gonna be an orgy. It's a toga party.

You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did.

bbeck, it's not gonna be an orgy. It's a toga party.

I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend.

Is this true of more false reporting by DAN RATHER?

is that really bbeck?

Let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabbos.

Hey spurwing, Bart's been looking for you.

Ever check your email?

Spurwing, hold still while Bart clips this radio tag to your tail.
Its only gonna hurt for a second.

HE'S RUNNING! WE GOT A RUNNER!

Get a dart in him! Hurry up, he's getting away!

POOOOOFT

dart sound

Let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabbos.

Beverly!

No. But you're getting warmer. Here's another: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!"

Picture this:

President Bush in SotU:
"Thanks to an NSA intercept of Zawahiri's phone, we sent him into the afterlife postage due."

With a big grin.

Marlene? You're going to pork Marlene Desmond?

I anticipate a deeply religious experience.

while I hope they did kill him, I must say that I would have rather have had him with troops, so they could have Impaled this scumbag so they could take pictures of him Impaled and sent them on to al jazeera, with a nice message attached to it... Something like "and for the rest of you AQ scum, we are working our way up and down the list from the top and the bottem, Sooooo Sleep Tight."

As long as we get a picture like Ahmed Yassin, I'm cool.
(graphic content)

"That boy is a P I G, pig."
"See if you can guess what I am now!"

Heeeeey, you fucked up! You trusted us!

Wait'll Allah sees us! HE LOVES us!

In lieu of anymore lame Animal House quotes, let me just say....Have you ever looked at your hand? No, I mean really looked at it?

{SMACK} Than you sir, may I have another!

lame Animal House quote

Sir, I must adamantly ask, is there a "lame" Animal House quote?

Whilst you were distracted by Animal House jokes, Spurwing has flown the coop. The Quest continues . . .

He can't do that to our pledges. Only we can do that to our pledges!

Cheney: Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.

Bush: You're talking about al Qaeda, sir.

Cheney: Of course I'm talking about al Qaeda, you TWERP!

War is over, man. Bush dropped the big one.

(I know, this is getting silly, but damn, I missed the fun and you all missed the best lines!)

FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

(okay, maybe that one isn't so funny, but give a brother a break, it's 1 AM and I've had a few...)

Greg, honey, is it supposed to be this soft?

''....I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! ''

''....No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.''

''.....Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. ''
....
'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

~Monty Python's Dead Parrot skit

I gave my love a cherry . . .

Swrek jnf gagv jknuy dasf.

Dsxfv fr ghbet.

sgha.

Spurwing Plover is Keyser Sose. I'm certain of it.

Look at you people! Innocent Women and Children wee killed in an effort to kill a man of peace. We're no better than the terrorists! Allhu Snackbar!

I'm sorry Cindy, but when I see your name all I can think of is Gutfeld's blog

"i have lost interest in cindy shaheen since she stopped wearing the hat. i was hoping that when she finally removed the hat, there would be a smaller hat underneath. and so on, like those russian dolls. but instead of dolls, there would be hats. adorable gardening hats"

"Mind if we dance with your dates?"

Close. But it was more like:

"Do you mind if we dance wif yo dates?"

Doooly noted, wif apologies

Ah, nuts, looks like we missed him.

"What are you majoring in?"

"WHAT?

"WHAT ARE YOU MAJORING IN?"

"PRIMITIVE CULTURES"

"Do you mind if we dance wif yo dates?"
Why no, not at all.

If I was you boys I'd be uh...
Leaving! What a good idea!

Dean Wormer was wrong .........

Fat, drunk, and stupid is a great way to go through life.

There is no Keyser Soze!