I nominate this for 2006's "worst job", replacing last year's winner, asssistant crack whore.

Of course nothing could be worse than the 1998 winner:
Hillary Clinton's cock.

oh, that was the joke I couldn't find. Good Norm.

Boy, the sun really has set on the British Empire!

You gotta admit, though: That's one first-class booger hook.

OK, nobody's said it yet, so I might as well: Better to be the guy who's paid to wipe Hamza's ass, than be a typical Euroweenie who'll kiss it for free.

Shouldn't he have a parrot on his shoulder?

I just wish this had been going on when I was in high school. It would have given me a whole new appreciation for my job at Taco Bell.

They can't print money fast enough or in large enough quantities for me to take that job.

Makes me wonder what Dirty Harrys last job was, could this position be a step up?

If the US succeeds in extraditing him, Dirty Harry's job could be performed by Mumia Abu Jamal as part of his work program.

Maybe he could use his fan letters for the paper that wipes this guy's ass.

NOTE: I am NOT Dirty Harry. (shudder)

That's odd, I just woke up from having a dream about being given a sponge bath by somewhat decent looking female nurse. Unfortunately the bathing occured in the heavily populated lobby of the hospital. Yeah that dream sucked.

On a different note, a friend of my sister's back in high school broke both his arms and had them in casts. Full casts that immobilize the joint. The big question we used to ponder is: who exactly is wipping this kid's ass? his sister? his mom? ack.

How about having this asshole bend over for a giant fire hose ass-douching instead?

The sandpaper is free.

So much for European sophistication -- haven't they ever heard of a bidet?

How about having this asshole bend over for a giant fire hose ass-douching instead?

Compos,

That is torture. And we do not need to get Andrew Sullivan angry at the suggestion, so please stop.

It's all about the compassion now. Compassion.

$60,000 a year to don rubber gloves and a facemask and wipe someone's butt once a day?

That's 60 grand a year plus benefits for 10 minutes a day.

And you people wouldn't take that job in lieu of say, eight hours a day a a MacDonalds for $15,000?

Really?

I'm on your wavelength, compos.

I'm feeling kind of scared now.

He has one good hand, doesn't he? Let him wipe with that one.

He has one good hand, doesn't he? Let him wipe with that one.

I believe that would violate his religious beliefs.

No, seriously.

Mark, torture is having to wipe this abomination's ass.

Red Jode, there is no amount of money you could pay me to take this job, even for one time only. "Oh, your a billionaire!! How impressive! How did you make your money if you don't mind my asking? Was it in the stock market? No? How about oil? No? The lottery then? Hmm. Then what was it?" "I wiped a terrorist scumbag's ass after he made a stinky in his jail cell." End of fucking conversation.

Skinbad, maybe I should be the nervous one ; )

What did he do before he went to jail? Frankly, if he has one good hand he should wipe his own ass - to hell with his "religious" scruples. Say something about the regidity of Islam, doesn't it, when a man with one hand can't wipe himself.

Oh, BTW, why doesn't he get a HAND prothesis instead of that damned hook? Then he could do it himself.

So that song, 'Money for nothing and your chicks for free' is not about butt wipers?

He could wipe his ass the way he did before he went into the slammer. I don't see why he can't use the hook thing, either. Just wrap some toilet paper aroud it. And exactly who holds his dick when he pees? He does. So, let him wipe his own butt.

Let me tell you, that's the way you do it
Them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get some stinky on your little finger
Maybe get some poopoo on your thumb

ARRRRR! I'll send ye ta Davy Jones' Locker (peace be upon him.)

They should replace his hook with a toilet brush, and put HIM to work.

See the little mullah with the turban and the skyhook
Yeah buddy that's his pubic hair
That little mullah got mess there on his backside
A dingleberry on his derriere

What about his left hand. Doesn't he have to wipe his ass with the finger(s) on his left hand?

http://www.westons.com/acatalog/info_AA2650.html

They sell these damn things! Somebody tell the Brits.

Honestly, I think it can be made to attach to his hook. This, some duct tape, and a roll of ass swab are a lot cheaper then $60,000.

LW and Dave--LOL.

You know what? I bet he wasn't wiping his butt at all before they took him in, and that's why they hired the guy.

They need to take the hook away and give him a big foam college football finger instead.

'"Hooky" Hamza actually lost both hands plus an eye (arrrr...here comes ol' one-eye) during an ill-fated attempt at bomb-making; cleaning himself would be a bit of a challenge, unless they decorated his left hook with stones.

And I feel obliged to point-out that "anus" is 4/7 of "tetanus".

Hi, I'm going to be blogging from the Hamza trial as much as possible over the next month and have a few films I made with the supporters of shareeah on my blog. Would value all of your input.

LOL, right back atcha skinbad

Hamza lost his eye on the first day he had the hook.

How about having this asshole bend over for a giant fire hose ass-douching instead?

Compos,

That is torture. And we do not need to get Andrew Sullivan angry at the suggestion, so please stop.

It's all about the compassion now. Compassion.

Yo Mark,

I hate to contradict you, but I'm not sure that Andrew Sullivan would regard having a raging firehose in close proximity to a man's ass, as torture. I tend to think he'd be all like "hurts so good".

Dirty Harry and Hamza make a pretty good paradigm for the UK and its relationship with its muslim population.

No chance, English bed-wetting types. We burst our pimples at you, and call your door-opening request a silly thing. You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!

They need to take the hook away and give him a big foam college football finger instead.

Sometimes it's the silliest shit that makes me laugh the hardest.

See the little mullah with the turban and the skyhook
Yeah buddy that's his pubic hair
That little mullah got mess there on his backside
A dingleberry on his derriere

We have to wipe some mad Imams butt-hole,
We have to wipe - it all awayayay..

Although, it would be the perfect opportunity to plant a recording device in their to catch up on conversations. He really would have a bug up his a*s.

do they really let this guy keep his hooks while he's sitting in jail? a lot of prisons don't have metal chairs for fear that someone will use it as a weapon, and this guy's walkin around with fuckin claws

"Will that be all for today, Mister Hamza?"

I that a hook he has in place of a hand? i would be very very careful about being near a person like him

Yes, Spurwing, it's a hook. He can replace his hook with many items -- screwdriver, drill, or even a blender.

Time to send the nurse a case of steel wool to do the job.

well, i suppose if i would have read the link, that would have answered my question pretty easily. so, uh...nevermind.

You wanna hear something crazy??? Last summer this Brit commenter at my site who is an independent film maker who had been filming and interviewing this guy for a couple of years decides that Abdu and I MUST meet and discuss our world views while he tapes it. He sends the whole idea to the BBC assuring me that they will fly me over. It all falls through of course, but he tells me that this Abdu guy has READ MY SITE! And I get this weird e-mail from some arab assistant or something and OMG!!!! Freak out time. The Brit guy tells me to NOT answer it and that he doesn't THINK they are dangerous.

Geeze.

geeez RWS.

and you were worried about me and wmd

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I will buy the extra corse sand paper to use.