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« Five Weird Things About Me | Main | Rumors of the EU Constitution's Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated »
January 09, 2006

Bomb -- Or "IED," As They Call It --Defused At San Francisco Starbucks

They hate our freedoms.

And no, I'm not talking about Al Qaeda. The earth is home to more than one fanatical group of zealots willing use violence and terrorism to vindicate their mannichean worldview.

Nancy Pelosi called for an "immediate over-the-horizon redeployment" of all citizens of San Francisco, then injected Botox directly into her eyeballs.


posted by Ace at 08:40 PM
Comments



As long as that horizon is the one to the west of Frisco, that'd be fine by me.

Posted by: Russ on January 9, 2006 08:52 PM

I'll bet it was FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS! George Bushitlerburton sent the command via NSA spy satellites using the code word ALITO DELAY.

So, is Larry good now?

Posted by: BrewFan on January 9, 2006 09:08 PM

DBS thinks it could have been anti-corporate anarchists. That's interesting and certailny feasible. However, why would anarchists want to blow-up a location where their sympathizers frequent, or they themsleves are regular customers?

The bomb was found in the bathroom. Was the bomb hidden by a customer for another customer to retrieve later?

I mean, really, who goes to Starbuck's? The coffee sucks. The service sucks. It's a trendy place for assholes like our trolls.

Posted by: Bart on January 9, 2006 09:11 PM

However, why would anarchists want to blow-up a location where their sympathizers frequent, or they themsleves are regular customers?

Dude, leftists thinking through to the consequences of their actions?

Are you high?

Posted by: Sortelli on January 9, 2006 09:23 PM

Gee i thought that after the citizens of hanoi on the bay would be safe after they voted to ban guns what a bunch of pathetic ldiots lets let the whole place feel the wrath of god becuase they have turned evil

Posted by: spurwing plover on January 9, 2006 09:38 PM

Just remember not to call them "terrorists."

They're "freedom fighters."

Posted by: Chester Fields on January 9, 2006 09:45 PM

You sure can be a creepy little freak sometimes, Spurwing.

Posted by: Sortelli on January 9, 2006 09:55 PM

Operation Mischief is on!

His name is Robert Paulsen

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 10:02 PM

I think that's "Project Mayhem" you're thinking of.


But I'm not allowed to talk about that.

Posted by: Henry on January 9, 2006 10:05 PM

depends on what city you are in, candy ass.

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 10:06 PM

Mr. indc44, may I suggest that you PASS on the soup?

Posted by: Fight Club Waiter on January 9, 2006 10:06 PM

Hey, I like Starbucks. Before Starbucks, the only coffee you could get outside of the trendy, hip places inside the Loop was, like, at gas stations and Whataburgers.

And it sucked.

Back to the subject at hand, a couple of things:

1) I wish people would use "defused" instead of "diffused".

2) I wonder how much of this has to do with Saint Cindy telling people to "do something" about ... well, whatever.

Posted by: Steve in Houston on January 9, 2006 10:12 PM

Starbucks coffee smells like cat piss.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: fugazi on January 9, 2006 10:25 PM

Bart... you keep using this word certailny... I do not think it means what you think it means.

Posted by: Inigo Montoya on January 9, 2006 10:29 PM

Oh, Jesus. That "diffused" thing just ruined that post for me. Misspellings like that ANNOY the hell out of me.
Hey, ya think "Digitalbrownshirt" is maybe not his real name? Like, he might be anonymous? And I'm annoyed!

He broke the law!

Posted by: on January 9, 2006 10:33 PM

An anonymous caller left a message saying "We strike a blow for those who are victims of coffee that smells of cat piss."
The citizens of SF are asking tonight for calm.
They are appealing for us all start a dialogue with these terrorists, so that we might understand them, and perhaps find a non-violent solution.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe on January 9, 2006 10:37 PM

Bart doesn't like to be corrected.

Posted by: Bart on January 9, 2006 10:40 PM

Starbucks has put out a press release declaring that if we stop spending $3.38 for a cup of liquid that smells like cat piss and tastes like moldy cigarette butts, then the terrorists have already won.

Posted by: The Warden on January 9, 2006 10:40 PM

Screw Starbucks delicious coffee. Was there any corporate art harmed?

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 10:44 PM

Sir, may add that today is not a good day to have the steamed milk.

Posted by: Bob the Barrista on January 9, 2006 10:47 PM

As long as my coffee is certified "free trade" [whatever the F that means], I'll buy it. Otherwise, it's war.

If you buy Starbucks, children in Columbia are raped and shot and it's all your fault.

Posted by: Feisty on January 9, 2006 10:48 PM

"Bart doesn't like to be corrected"

And Bob Dole doesn't like to see some asshat riding his heat. Use second or fourth person in your comments all you want, Bart, but third person is MY turf.

Posted by: Bob Dole on January 9, 2006 10:51 PM

and here I thought it was over the coke

Posted by: Dave in Texas on January 9, 2006 10:51 PM

The original article used the word "diffused", instead of "defused". Not my choice, just quoting the source.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt on January 9, 2006 11:32 PM

Did they really? idiots!

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 11:34 PM

That's the problem with relying on spellchecker. If it's a real word it just lets it go. They've fixed it since I first linked the story.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt on January 9, 2006 11:42 PM

yeah, but that miswording went through 4 levels of highly educated editors.

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 11:44 PM

So they spread that "IED" out over a wide area? Too bad. It would have been more fun to detonate it in place.

Posted by: George on January 10, 2006 01:01 AM

I am glad you moronic right wing quacks think a bomb in a major American city is funny. I guess you all were wishing it would have exploded and wiped out a few thousand possible vote for the Dems.
"I tremble for my Country when I reflect that God is just" -Thomas Jefferson

Posted by: wayne's world on January 11, 2006 09:29 PM

no one thinks it's funny, dude.

maybe you can tell your anarcho-terrorist friends to stop planting these bombs, huh?

Posted by: ace on January 11, 2006 09:32 PM

Hey, check out the new guy. He obviously needs to check his copy of "Stuff Jefferson Said". That quote wasn't in my copy.

"POSSIBLE" votes for the Dems?

1. Starbucks

2. San Fran

It's possible some of them were planning on voting for Republicans, but it's unlikely that any of the THREE strong Republican voters in SF would have been at that particular Starbucks.

They call it "projection", Wayne. Ask "Garth" to tell you about it.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset on January 11, 2006 09:44 PM

Never mind, just a flashlight:

http://www.c*nn.com/2006/US/01/13/starbucks.no.bomb.ap/index.html

remove asterik in forbidden news organisations name

Posted by: brak on January 13, 2006 11:16 AM
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