Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Five Weird Things About Me | Main | Rumors of the EU Constitution's Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated »
January 09, 2006

Bomb -- Or "IED," As They Call It --Defused At San Francisco Starbucks

They hate our freedoms.

And no, I'm not talking about Al Qaeda. The earth is home to more than one fanatical group of zealots willing use violence and terrorism to vindicate their mannichean worldview.

Nancy Pelosi called for an "immediate over-the-horizon redeployment" of all citizens of San Francisco, then injected Botox directly into her eyeballs.


posted by Ace at 08:40 PM
Comments



As long as that horizon is the one to the west of Frisco, that'd be fine by me.

Posted by: Russ on January 9, 2006 08:52 PM

I'll bet it was FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS! George Bushitlerburton sent the command via NSA spy satellites using the code word ALITO DELAY.

So, is Larry good now?

Posted by: BrewFan on January 9, 2006 09:08 PM

DBS thinks it could have been anti-corporate anarchists. That's interesting and certailny feasible. However, why would anarchists want to blow-up a location where their sympathizers frequent, or they themsleves are regular customers?

The bomb was found in the bathroom. Was the bomb hidden by a customer for another customer to retrieve later?

I mean, really, who goes to Starbuck's? The coffee sucks. The service sucks. It's a trendy place for assholes like our trolls.

Posted by: Bart on January 9, 2006 09:11 PM

However, why would anarchists want to blow-up a location where their sympathizers frequent, or they themsleves are regular customers?

Dude, leftists thinking through to the consequences of their actions?

Are you high?

Posted by: Sortelli on January 9, 2006 09:23 PM

Gee i thought that after the citizens of hanoi on the bay would be safe after they voted to ban guns what a bunch of pathetic ldiots lets let the whole place feel the wrath of god becuase they have turned evil

Posted by: spurwing plover on January 9, 2006 09:38 PM

Just remember not to call them "terrorists."

They're "freedom fighters."

Posted by: Chester Fields on January 9, 2006 09:45 PM

You sure can be a creepy little freak sometimes, Spurwing.

Posted by: Sortelli on January 9, 2006 09:55 PM

Operation Mischief is on!

His name is Robert Paulsen

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 10:02 PM

I think that's "Project Mayhem" you're thinking of.


But I'm not allowed to talk about that.

Posted by: Henry on January 9, 2006 10:05 PM

depends on what city you are in, candy ass.

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 10:06 PM

Mr. indc44, may I suggest that you PASS on the soup?

Posted by: Fight Club Waiter on January 9, 2006 10:06 PM

Hey, I like Starbucks. Before Starbucks, the only coffee you could get outside of the trendy, hip places inside the Loop was, like, at gas stations and Whataburgers.

And it sucked.

Back to the subject at hand, a couple of things:

1) I wish people would use "defused" instead of "diffused".

2) I wonder how much of this has to do with Saint Cindy telling people to "do something" about ... well, whatever.

Posted by: Steve in Houston on January 9, 2006 10:12 PM

Starbucks coffee smells like cat piss.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: fugazi on January 9, 2006 10:25 PM

Bart... you keep using this word certailny... I do not think it means what you think it means.

Posted by: Inigo Montoya on January 9, 2006 10:29 PM

Oh, Jesus. That "diffused" thing just ruined that post for me. Misspellings like that ANNOY the hell out of me.
Hey, ya think "Digitalbrownshirt" is maybe not his real name? Like, he might be anonymous? And I'm annoyed!

He broke the law!

Posted by: on January 9, 2006 10:33 PM

An anonymous caller left a message saying "We strike a blow for those who are victims of coffee that smells of cat piss."
The citizens of SF are asking tonight for calm.
They are appealing for us all start a dialogue with these terrorists, so that we might understand them, and perhaps find a non-violent solution.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe on January 9, 2006 10:37 PM

Bart doesn't like to be corrected.

Posted by: Bart on January 9, 2006 10:40 PM

Starbucks has put out a press release declaring that if we stop spending $3.38 for a cup of liquid that smells like cat piss and tastes like moldy cigarette butts, then the terrorists have already won.

Posted by: The Warden on January 9, 2006 10:40 PM

Screw Starbucks delicious coffee. Was there any corporate art harmed?

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 10:44 PM

Sir, may add that today is not a good day to have the steamed milk.

Posted by: Bob the Barrista on January 9, 2006 10:47 PM

As long as my coffee is certified "free trade" [whatever the F that means], I'll buy it. Otherwise, it's war.

If you buy Starbucks, children in Columbia are raped and shot and it's all your fault.

Posted by: Feisty on January 9, 2006 10:48 PM

"Bart doesn't like to be corrected"

And Bob Dole doesn't like to see some asshat riding his heat. Use second or fourth person in your comments all you want, Bart, but third person is MY turf.

Posted by: Bob Dole on January 9, 2006 10:51 PM

and here I thought it was over the coke

Posted by: Dave in Texas on January 9, 2006 10:51 PM

The original article used the word "diffused", instead of "defused". Not my choice, just quoting the source.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt on January 9, 2006 11:32 PM

Did they really? idiots!

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 11:34 PM

That's the problem with relying on spellchecker. If it's a real word it just lets it go. They've fixed it since I first linked the story.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt on January 9, 2006 11:42 PM

yeah, but that miswording went through 4 levels of highly educated editors.

Posted by: joeindc44 on January 9, 2006 11:44 PM

So they spread that "IED" out over a wide area? Too bad. It would have been more fun to detonate it in place.

Posted by: George on January 10, 2006 01:01 AM

I am glad you moronic right wing quacks think a bomb in a major American city is funny. I guess you all were wishing it would have exploded and wiped out a few thousand possible vote for the Dems.
"I tremble for my Country when I reflect that God is just" -Thomas Jefferson

Posted by: wayne's world on January 11, 2006 09:29 PM

no one thinks it's funny, dude.

maybe you can tell your anarcho-terrorist friends to stop planting these bombs, huh?

Posted by: ace on January 11, 2006 09:32 PM

Hey, check out the new guy. He obviously needs to check his copy of "Stuff Jefferson Said". That quote wasn't in my copy.

"POSSIBLE" votes for the Dems?

1. Starbucks

2. San Fran

It's possible some of them were planning on voting for Republicans, but it's unlikely that any of the THREE strong Republican voters in SF would have been at that particular Starbucks.

They call it "projection", Wayne. Ask "Garth" to tell you about it.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset on January 11, 2006 09:44 PM

Never mind, just a flashlight:

http://www.c*nn.com/2006/US/01/13/starbucks.no.bomb.ap/index.html

remove asterik in forbidden news organisations name

Posted by: brak on January 13, 2006 11:16 AM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
REF +179, LAB -128, CON -52
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys
Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Sefton Charge the Democrats with fomenting violence against the nation with their rhetoric, Virginia redistricting going down the tubes? Trump's bully pulpit is not censorship, Lee Zeldin is a star, J.B. Pritzker is an idiot, and more!
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents.
Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry
when you said good-bye

70s, not 50s
Now that is a motherflipping intro
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Sefton and CBD wonder about the Chaos that Trump is creating in the minds of the Iranian junta, Virginia redistricting is pure power grab, Ilhan Omar is many things ...and stupid too! Amazon censoring conservative thought again, and the UK...put a fork in it!
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Recent Comments
Berserker-Dragonheads Division: "SO...Starmer is getting his ass kicked. Nice. ..."

...: "Posted by: nurse ratched at May 07, 2026 09:38 PM ..."

mikeski: "[i]ace is sort of updating it in the Side Bar Pos ..."

...: "Fetterman should change his name to Will Fetterman ..."

The rest of Tennessee: "[i]167 The left has killed itself through mal-educ ..."

runner: "ace is sort of updating it in the Side Bar ..."

runner: "Labour is having a very very very bad night! ..."

clarence: "GIB = Guy in Back or in this case Goober in Back. ..."

Itinerant Alley Butcher: " The left has killed itself through mal-education ..."

Yudhishthira's Dice: "I don't allow my kids on social media. I guess the ..."

Berserker-Dragonheads Division: " May I please ask for prayers for Zoe. Her gran ..."

Yudhishthira's Dice: "I just heard a cool saying on an old episode of Wa ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives