Could be worse. You could be a Packer fan. I think I'd trade Aaron Rogers for Eli Manning.

That was so embarrassing as a longtime Giants fan. I just don't see what the hype is with this kid. You get guys like Ernie Accorsi saying wait and see, he'll be something special and how great he was in college. He'd be effin' special if maybe he threw a smooth spiral for a change to an open receiver. BTW, did you see how pissed Shockey, Toomer, and espcially Burress looked throughout the game? I'd love to hear what they had to say in the locker room to Manning. Sheesh, Vinnie Falcone should be the Giants' new QB coach.

And then Rothlisberger, on his first pass, throws back across the middle... but completes the pass for a first down.

When you're blessed, you're blessed.

As a San Diego fan, I'm glad that you're glad about giving away all of those draft picks for that whiney, sack of crap.

hey, once in a while you do that. once in a while you throw off the back foot. once in a while you throw across your body.

Doing all three at once, while standing on your own ten yard line, is inadvisable.

Any way we can get Kerry Collins back?

How about Kent Graham?

Maybe Dave Brown?

Nah. Not fuckin' dave brown. I'd rather stick with Eli "Special NFLympics" Manning.

I'm sorry, man. I've been there.

I'm sure I can't invite you over to be a Redskins fan (division rivalry and all), but if you'd like, the Chicago Bears bandwagon is plenty warm this winter. Come on over, have a deep dish!

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Where's Jeff Rutledge when you need him?

Or Jesse "The Bachelor" Palmer?

Nah, patriots are my second team. I lived in Boston, so it's not like total bandwagon bullshit. I've seen more Pats games at the stadium (2) than Giants games (0).

Oh please. Chad fucking Pennington. You guys are pikers in the "my QB sucks" competition. You know nothing of pain and suffering. Ben Rothlisberger? The Jets passed on Dan Marino to take Ken O'Brien.

But I'm not bitter.

That Neil O'Donnell thing worked out well too.

Browning Nagle.....

NFL thread! yeah! I've been waitin for this.

Hook em Horns.

"yes, thank you, good night".

-- David Mamet

I see that Vince Young just declared for the draft. I wonder if the Jets will be able to grab him or Leinart in the four spot. I don't see Young falling that far down, but I wonder about Leinart. Because (as Jack would apparently agree) the Jets need to do something about their QB situation. Maybe the new coach will be allowed some input.

Nah, patriots are my second team

Then, imho, you're on the road to glory. I'm picking the Pats to go all the way. Although, my track record at picking this years playoff games isn't exactly stellar :)

The only good news NFL-wise I've had this year is that the Vikes finally gave Tice a ticket out of town. But there is good news...baseball season is getting closer.

I hate you, Eli Manning! I pure straight hate you!!

GM I would take the oft spoken of warm bucket of spit at this point. We just TRADED our coach, the one who took us to the playoffs 3 times, for a 4th round draft choice and are interviewing.....Jim Haslett. We play in the biggest market in the country and we can't even get our own freaking stadium. The Panthers get lesbian cheerleaders and we get a bald fireman sitting on another guys shoulders. You watch, the Jets will end up drafting another kicker or a right guard from University of East Bumfuck that they were "thrillled" to be able to steal.

Sigh....only a few more weeks till pitchers and catchers report.

JackStraw,

Maybe you can trade that 4th rounder to USC for Pete Carroll! Oh wait, I think USC is over the cap. Nevermind.

As bad as the Giants were, it's tough to blame it all on Manning, or even on the offense.

We knew going in that Carolina has one of the best defenses in the league. They stopped Tiki cold from the start. Manning didn't have much to work with. And Burress, jeez what a whining sack of shit that dude is. Homey was lollygagging his way through his routes all day, and was responsible for one of Manning's interceptions.

That said, the reason we lost, and got embarrassed, was our pathetic defense. They made the Panthers' running backs look like a combo of Walter Payton and Barry Sanders. For fux sake, make a bleedin tackle. What a joke. I mean, how many damned third and longs did they convert -- by running the ball!

We tried that once BrewFan. Carroll went 6-10 as head coach of the Jets. I'm telling you the Jets are like so dark cosmic force that destroys anything anyone who comes near them.

Jim,

Re: the Giants 'D'

Nick Goings?!?!?!?!?!

He came up big so many times for them. The Giants' D looked like they were playing touch football with him.

the defense was bad, but two of our linebackers were signed last night at a Yonkers Quizno's, and they had to take a safety off the line to double-cover Steve Smith...

...oh, and bang up job on that, too, Alexander! It's smart to try to play catch-up with the fastest man in football.

Jack,

Wonder how Herm felt being traded for a 4th round pick. He has no X's and O's ability and no relationship with the local media. What kind of genius does KC think they're getting?

And as far as the stadium thing, I can empathize. I live in Jersey and wouldn't want to make that drive from anywhere (except maybe from Weehawken where as we all know, Thomas Jefferson pronounced free speech as "overrated.").

I still think that Manning's going to be something special. Hell, even if he's average he'd be light-years better than the most infamous of all Redskins #1 picks, Heath Schuler

Kansas City must be out of their fecking minds. Herm Edwards is not a good head coach. Special teams...maybe, not head coach. Edwards sucks. And Shottenheimer suck, too.

If Gunther Cuningham could act like a human instead of a maniac, he should be the Chiefs head coach.

The best unemployed* head coach:
Jim Fassel.
Some team (Texans, Detroit, Vikings, Breen Gay) should snatch him up.

The Patriots seem to get better as the season goes along. If you watch a lot of their games, you'll notice they get better in the second-half of the game. It's hard to beat a team that improves with every play. But Belichik's bag-o-tricks is near empty, so we'll see how they stack up against Denver (I hate them) or the Colts.

*Yeah, I know Fassel works for the Ravens.

Carroll went 6-10 as head coach of the Jets

Just an old Dolphin fan pokin a little fun at you :)

Remember the 'choking' game? lol!

But there is good news...baseball season is getting closer.

Sigh....only a few more weeks till pitchers and catchers report.

Obviously you guys are not Kansas City residents. We don't have a lot to look forward to.

Who in the hell was that color announcer? The guy kept calling Will Allen "one of the best cover cornerbacks in football".

He may be all that, but I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to use that phrase against someone who gave up 3 TDs to Santana Moss two weeks ago and got torched a couple times today.

But at least the Giants defensive backfield is healthier than that of My Beloved Skins. I swear they're going to have to start sticking cheerleaders in as dime backs.

GM-

I think he feels like he died and went to heaven. $12 million over 4 years., inheriting a team that is playoff caliber instead of presiding over yet another rebuilding year in the Meadowlands, knowing he won't have to get de-pants by Belicheck twice a year.

I wish I could quit these clowns.

Remember the good ol' days with Kerry Collins, Michael Barrow, Joe Jurevicuis, and Jason Sehorn?

rls:

Don't despair of the Royals. Somehow, in spite of an inept front office and some mind-bogglingly dumb trades, they always seem to manage competence if not brilliance. They might surprise you this coming year.

Of course for the Twins the only news is the new stadium, which seems perpetually stuck in limbo. I'm predicting that if they don't get the stadium deal done this year, the Twins may decide to pack up and move along.

Not that he had a good game by any stretch, it wasn't Eli who missed all those tackles. I would love to see a tally of how many missed tackles the Giants had, but that was just pitiful.

Eli will be all right, but they totally need to revemp the secondary. And for God's sake find some people who can tackle.

"Who in the hell was that color announcer? The guy kept calling Will Allen "one of the best cover cornerbacks in football"."

Actually, it was my favorite color man on TV, Troy Aikman. I like Joe buck and aikman.

Did he say that about Allen, tho? That's ludicrous. Allen is, at best, above average.

I could sympathize with you guys if the Falcons hadn't played like old women on defense the last half of the fucking season this year. But they did, so tough shit. I lived in Seattle for a brief period, so I'm sneaking onto that bandwagon for the playoffs.

Remember the 'choking' game? lol!

I remember them ALL BrewFan. That play started a 5 game slide and then Jets finished 6-10 and the aforementioned Pete Carroll got canned. Yea cause that guy can't coach for shit.

Thank you so much for reminding me.

Breen Gay

You misspelled 'Title Town USA'. HTH.

The Jets-Dolphins rivalry may be one of the best in the NFL. Classic games like (shudder) the Monday Night game when the Jets came back from AGazillion-to-Nothing in the second half to win.

Hey, at least your teams managed to keep their miserable play on the field itself. The Vikes took their no-class act out onto a "sex boat". This team has no class, which I blame in large part on lack of coaching (lack of adult oversight in general, actually). That's why I'm glad they gave Tice his walking papers even if the Vikes did a bit better as the season went on -- it was time to clean house.

Gives the phrase "like a Viking" a whole new meaning, Ace.

As a diehard baseball fan, I throw in a hearty "Go Skins!"

I still don't know what all the fuss was about that. What, no one knew that athletes got lots of tail and digged on strippers?

I have to agree with Ace on this one. I worked in Tampa for a while and my office was about a half mile from Raymond James stadium and right across the street from the Doll House, one of the countless "adult entertainment" establishments in Tampa. On any given night you could walk in there and see a few super sized athletes getting a lap dance. Thats what I was told anyway.

ace,

I think it was just an indication of how out-of-control the team was. These weren't private watercraft; they were rented yachts with crews (several of whom were female, and swore out complaints about being sexually harassed and being forced to watch a lot of public nastiness). Obviously football players aren't exactly paragons of virtue (you can take a kid out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of the kid, as the saying goes). But this is where the lack of adult supervision comes in -- it's pretty clear that Tice and other senior coaching stuff knew of these shenanigans, and winked at them.

Hey, your home team could be the Houston Texans. it could be worse.

You guys are all spoiled whining cry babies - try the New Orleans Saints for every minute of the last 30+ years and then you will know what real suffering is.

FYI, that pussy Ben Roethlisberger has put the Steelers ahead, and now Pittsburch (where I was born) has the ball back in Bengal territory.

Are you on tape-delay, Michael?

What's frustrating with the Giants is that they either choke away a playoff game - '89 against the Rams, '97 against the Vikings, and '02 against the Niners - or they competely embarass themselves on the field - '93 against the Niners, SB against the Ravens, and today. How about a nice normal, not humiliating defeat the end the season boys?

When is that baseball season getting here again?

Ace, I'll give you Aikman, but please, Joe Buck? Uhhh, no. Unless you really liked Brokeback Mountain for something *other* than the scenery/Anne Hathaway's magical cans.

Then again, I'll take Buck and Aikman over that ESPN crew anyday. Good fucking lord, those guys are AWFUL. I can't believe that no-talent assclown Joe Theisman is getting paired up with Al Michaels. Theisman makes Dan Dierdorf sound like Howard Cosell. Ol' Bendy Leg makes more dumb comments in a single game than Cedarford made in a year.

Sigh.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

He's unobjectionable and works well as a team with Aikman.

Unlike the ESPN guys. It's hard to be bad at play-by-play; it's such a simple thing. But some do manage to be grating.

Ol' Bendy Leg... ouch - that's gonna leave a mark!

Everytime I see that replay, the hair on the back of my neck stands up.

It's hard to be bad at play-by-play...

I guess you never heard Chris Berman during the MLB playoffs. He pulled the same shit as he does during the Home Run Derby.

Back back back back bbb back back back....Wow-Weeeee!

Admittedly ESPN's football crew is bad (Paul Maguire is nothing but on-air misery), but nothing is worse than ESPN's baseball tandem of Joe Morgan and Jon Miller. I don't know how they've managed to stay on the air for what must be at least ten years. No matter what player Joe Morgan is talking about, there was a player on the Big Red Machine who was always better...

You know who's a great sportscaster? Bob Uecker. No shit; that guy almost makes me wanna root for the Brewers. He knows the game, and he can be funny, but he doesn't clown around -- he gives good insight, and he knows the stats. (He also has a stupefyingly huge memory for baseball stats of yesteryear; he isn't using cribs or a computer for a lot of that shit, folks.)

Curt Gowdy was a good one too.

And Howard Cosell gets a bad rap, but I'm old enough to remember him, and he was good.

My all-time favorite sportscaster?

Easy: Champ Kind.

"One screw-up and you're out of here! Whammee."

You know who's a great sportscaster? Bob Uecker. No shit; that guy almost makes me wanna root for the Brewers

He's been the *only* reason to listen to the Brewers for about the last 13 years. The last few years he has clowned around somewhat but you can't blame him. And in fairness, when he does clown around he's hysterical.

Are you on tape-delay, Michael?

Kind of. I was following the game on-line at MSNBC (I really only care about Michigan football and Spurs basketball).

So, Bart, when are you going to show up at Sparkle's site? You said you would be there at 7 tonight. You're kinda late.

Shit!
I forgot all about that.

now Pittsburch (where I was born)

Michael, where is Pittsburch? Are you a fan of the Stealers?

And more importantly, do you like gobs?

Like DigitalBrownShirt, I too am a San Diego Fan & found Manning's performance to be superb. Keep it up Eli & may a Manning never ever win a ring. Too bad, becuse generally I really like the Giants - great receving core & the most under rated running back. Here is hoping for more stunning playoff loses for the Manning family - Go Pittsburgh!

Plaxico stunk too.

Gah, I wish Fox were our coach.

And more importantly, do you like gobs?

If by gobs you mean sailors, then I think its safe to assume Michael likes them. A lot.

All four games this weekend sucked.

No matter what player Joe Morgan is talking about, there was a player on the Big Red Machine who was always better...

In most cases he'd be right. They were... a machine!

My favorite Troy Aikman story,

he got a concussion in a playoff game (I think against San Fran), and was standing on the sidelines before anyone figured out something was wrong,

Mark Stepnowski, the center, had been hurt earlier that year and was on the sidelines in street clothes and on crutches,

and Troy looked at him and said "hey Mark, how come you aren't suited out"?

and Stepnowski looked at him funny, and then yelled "coach!! there's somethin wrong with Troy!"

And all my friends couldn't figure out why I became a Panthers fan when I moved down here to Charlotte from NJ several years ago.

Michael, where is Pittsburch?

Y'know, Lipstick, there are so many things I could say in response to your mocking of my trivial spelling error.

But I won't, because I fear you. Because I now know that you have been lurking at a certain site that I shall not mention. A site where I made the unfortunate decision to reveal to a few friends my fondness for Peruvian music.

BTW, how's the new boyfriend working out? Last I heard, you thought he had potential.

Last I heard, you thought he had potential.

It didn't work out. I had to break up with her. We both came to realize that it had run its course. We had an absolute ball, but we grew up. There's no reason to fight that.

I can vouch for Sandy. Just the other day when I asked him about Lipstick he told me, "Are we still friends? Yes. Do we talk? No."

If by gobs you mean sailors, then I think its safe to assume Michael likes them. A lot.

Well, they are something you eat. And they have creamy filling...

Yeah, Sandy and I drifted apart. It's mostly my fault, I won't lie.

He kept wanting me to call him "Daddy" and I just don't roll that way.

Sorry Honey.

Well, they are something you eat. And they have creamy filling...

Yep. Sailors.

JackStraw:

I could make the old joke about him preferring submariners (you know, something long and hard and full of seamen...).

And, Lipstick, let me officially throw my hat into the ring. I am clean living, I don't smoke or drink, and they have yet to convict me of any of those felonies I am accused of. My therapist says I am making progress in controlling my explosively violent temper, and I can produce several character witnesses once they get out of rehab and/or jail.

All I ask is complete and total subservience to my wishes. Oh, and that you refer to me at all times as, "Your excellency" or "My Lord".

Men like me don't just come along every day, Lipstick. This is one sweet, sweet hunk o' man-candy!

You could and you should Monty. If the internet is not for juvenile, tasteless humor then what did Al Gore invent it for anyway?

I could make the old joke about him preferring submariners (you know, something long and hard and full of seamen...).

Go ahead, Monty. Make the joke.

Well, Your Excellency, what I reaally need to see is some wooing with the sweet, sweet poetry.

There is snow tonight
Where there was rain last night
It is winter settling in again
It feels like a cheat somehow

But there is something about the new snow
That is hopeful
It is clean and so far untracked
A blank page we two may write upon

You will come to me, and you
Will make your marks upon this paper
Saying: Yes. Here I am.
I am here for you.

Or I will go to you
And the snow will tell this tale
That I said: I miss you
I am here for you.

--------------

...meh. Stinky. But the best I can do on short notice.

No, not bad. I like the blank page imagry. It's just the "I am here for you" that seems a bit off by sounding too modern.

Wouldn't you say that I have:

Much mirth and no madness,
All good and no badness;
So joyously,
So maidenly,
So womanly

etc.?

(Monty now trying to retrieve his hat from the ring...)

NJ fans help me out on this one:

One year, the Jets go 8-0 (or 7-1, or some such) and the entire East Coast is having multiple orgasms. Then some on-air analyst notices that all the victories are against weak teams. He predicts loudly, "the Jets will not win another game all year." Sure enough, they finish out at 8-8.

What year was that, and did I get the details correct?

In 1986 the Jets won nine in a rown and were 10-1. They then went into a tailspin losing 5 in a row - all badly. They won the wild-card playoff game to avoid all time chokeitude, but lost the next game to Cleveland.

Lipstick is grand
Lipstick is great
i think about Lipstick
when i masturbate

Men like me don't just come along every day, Lipstick. This is one sweet, sweet hunk o' man-candy!

Monty, you're killing me.

I'll be honest with you; when it comes to flirting with the chicks, I'm no match. Lipstick in particular. All that poetry and shit. I'm just not up to it. You've beat me, brother.