It's good to see that Allah's blogging again.

for real. how do the rest of us pleebs get in on the allah tips?

“Allah's and Ace's relationship is a time in the past. And it’s a time that Ace'll always look back with in fondness, but Allah and Ace have moved on, and Allah has a separate life and Ace has separate life. And it’s better that they keep it that way.”

My resolution for the new year is to improve my dating life by learning to talk exactly like Chris Klein. I think there'll be plenty of women who are ready to give me the time of day and lay down, because they can see that I've got a good thing going on. And they'll call me Daddy, because they're hungry.

Why haven't you given Allah posting privileges here?

Semi-Cool Fact about Chris Klein:

Lost the 2004 Scrabble Championship because he refused to play the letters P-L-A-C-A-T-_- S with an "E" on the board which would have scored him both a triple word score and a 50 point bonus for using all the tiles.

Because Chris Klein doesn't placate, even in the finals of a Scrabble tournament.

I can see Klein doing the classics now.

Klein as Mr. Darcy of Sense and Sensibility: "Elizabeth Bennett? We had a thing, but the thing is over and we've moved on. Are we friends? Yes. Do we talk? No."

Klein as Queeg in The Caine Mutiny: "I can see you sailors are all, like, upset. And that's nothing I can't handle. But you gotta let me breathe, because I have a thing going, you know. A thing. And you can't impede my thing just because of your thing."

Klein as King Lear: "Cordelia is hanged, but she was an idiot anyway. A fool or something. And anyway, she was kind of ugly and clingy, you know? Anyway, it's all about me -- check out this cool robe."

Klein as Romeo in Romeo and Juliet: "I don't placate. Juliet has her life, and I have mine. Mercutio and those, they aren't...you know. Not in my life, not in hers. We're friendly but we don't talk, you know? Plus her dad's a real dick. She's got this listening thing with her dad, and I don't placate."

Why haven't you given Allah posting privileges here?

I don't want 'em.

Bumperstickerist,

LOL.

I don't want 'em.

Allah's whole link Santa gig is just a two-week spark-off.

Little known fact about Klein and Holmes breakup;

Holme's is obsessed with the game of chess. She was never able to get Klein to share the love of the game. The final straw was when she asked him to participate again and he grabbed her and yelled like a madman - " I DON'T PLAY KATE!"

Chris Klein, the gift that keeps on giving.

I'm seeing Brokeback Mountain III now (you know, the one after Brokeback Mountain II, the one with Ace and Allah in it)--starring Chris Klein and Paul Anka. Yeah, Chris Klein and Paul Anka have this thing, you know, this predator-prey relationship. Anyway, Chris Klein eventually meets Margaret Cho and marries her for her liminal spaces.

But he just can't quit Paul Anka. Because that's just the way he rolls. That just the fucking way it is.

Brokeback Mountain III--the Guys Get Shirts.

Why are some of you giving Ace such shit for posting links from Allah?

Are they bad links? No, they're good.

Does Ace charge admission to this site? No, it's free.

What's your problem then?

coughjealouscough

Why, Lipstick?
Because it's gay. That's why.

What's your problem, Lipstick?
Huh?
What's your problem, besides having flippers for feet?
Well?

1. Already one of the better threads.

2. Allah,

It's not what you want, it's what we want, and what we want is you back. Or at least can't you teach Ace to photoshop? And maybe send him a few of your own that he can link to, I mean post here.

It's a little known fact that it was Allah and ace's forbidden and doomed tete-a-tete that inspired Ang Lee to do Brokeback, only he moved it from an urban to a rural setting so as not to make it obvious.

Bart,

Before you even ask, my relationship with my father is just fine.

What did your dad do that led to your obsession with dads and gayness? And by extension, in your mind, Ace and Allah?

Real sorry about that.

Are Bart and I still friends? Yes.

Did I make too snarky a reply? er, yes.

hey, it was just a one-post snark-off, f--k it, have a blast and then let it fizzle out.

Are Bart and I still friends?

Always, baby. Always.

I thought my comment might be construed as a bit harsh. Unfortunately, gay Ace's stupid gay server blocked me out from submitting another comment saying it was all cool.

I've got nothing....just laughing my flippers off at Dave and glad Bart is not now putting me on his enemies list...

A belated Happy New Year to everybody.

Nothin' but love from Bart, flipper. Really.

(And I mean real love, not the fake, dirty, gay kind of love.)

P.S. Let's concentrate our efforts on the real enemy, here...

Michael.

Hey woman, I'm not here to hold hands and babysit. You got to come to the table with something, even if it's just those friking ginormous feet.

HNY to you too.

Well, speaking of Michael, recently on another blog he revealed his love of Peruvian pan pipe music.

Yes he did, Lipstick.

And as proprietor of that blog, I still haven't been able to recover from the whole "guilt by association" thing.

Which is why I'm posting nothing but photos of hot chicks on my site from now on, regardless of their actual connection to the entry

I have to do something to get the image of Michael blowing some "pan pipes" out of my readers minds, after all. It's only right.

the great ventriloquist

allah and god talk shop:

god: are you bothered by the "unmoved mover" thing? there's two of us, so...

allah: c'mon, don't start that "who made us?" thing...

god: who?

allah: men

god: sorry. forgot.

allah: you get too emotional...your intractibility confuses men...

god: so....the answer?

allah: rules? just like the old days, when we were one w/ baal, osiris, buddha...'member?

god: old testament days

allah: right

god: they don't like rules

allah: what?!

god: doubt, then disbilief, then...

allah: god dies

god: yes.

allah: that's bullshit. belief is obedience. they need unambiguous rules and a clear line of inheritance

god: I wanted more for them...

allah: right, the christ cult thing...jesus! (slaps forehead condescendingly)

god: they need a sacrifice...I needed to show them I have doubts too

allah: I'll never get it. you became a man in order to doubt yourself and then you committed suicide to forgive all men?

god: yes

allah: god is dead, then.

curtains. allah walks stage left while pulling hand out of the dummy.

ergastularius,

Put the lighter down, and step away from the bong.

The real enemy is Michael? What the hell are we supposed to do with BrewFan?

Pan pipes?

What in Allah's name is going on around here?

Is a Peruvian pan pipe a "gay" thing?

I need to know for my...

research.

What the hell are we supposed to do with BrewFan?

Don't worry about me. Michael's playing my 'pan flute'.

"Don't worry about me. Michael's playing my 'pan flute'."

While you hum "Tiny Dancer" in your head?

While you hum "Tiny Dancer" in your head?

Actually, "Both Sides Now" :)