Well, that was certainly well crafted.

A guy is reading a news paper at the bar. A beautiful Blonde next to him spots the headline on the front page. "12 Barzillian men killed in natural gas explosion". The man notices her quizicle look and asks...what's wrong... she replies that headline is terrible, but how many is a brazillian????
You think your poster will get it?????

Am I having deja vu all over again, or id Greg post that before?

You know, you my-worlders could really learn a little something about a sense of proportion and tolerance for ambiguity from this dude.

By the way, speaking of flaming anuses, are we going to have the Flamies?

What are Flamies

Good question, thanks for asking.
The Flamies are annual awards for the best flamers and the best flam-ees.

I heard that Michael volunteered to judge them, which will involve reading every comment posted in 2005.

Copying from below:

My response to Blinded:

So, I guess "well-crafted" means the compulsive use of ellipses?

Oh, no, you probably meant a comment is "well-crafted" when a mindless Hitler reference gets thrown in.

Am I right?

Posted by Michael at December 30, 2005 07:12 PM

Again by me:

BTW, your well-crafted comment should have used "attempting" instead of "attempted."

Posted by Michael at December 30, 2005 07:14 PM

The response by Blinded

Well, Michael - I am laughing my ass off at you (and, to be fair, at you) because I WAS going to use another compulsive ellipse and add to my original post something to the effect of how my argument will be probably completely side-stepped while the fools simply attack my Hitler comment. So +1 for you on catching my ellipses addiction... then -1 for being so obvious. Though thank you for catching my "attempted" typo. And thank you for embarrasing yourself with predictability.

Posted by Blinded at December 30, 2005 07:24 PM

The response by me:

Well, Michael - I am laughing my ass off at you

I'll bet you are.

So +1 for you on catching my ellipses addiction... then -1 for being so obvious.

Um, I'm not the one being obvious. Wasn't it you who brought up the subject of "well-crafted" comments?

AS IF you actually addressed what I really said... well, go ahead.

What you really said was this:

"Taking it in the ass next to Mohammed Atta... cause the only difference between those 9/11 cocksuckers and these My World Is The Only World cocksuckers is the 9/11 cocksuckers actually resorted to violence to protect their closed-minds. "

C'mon, Blinded, when you wrote that were you actually seeking a serious response?

Your truth-avoidance tactics are old, obvious and tired.

Actually, you are encountering our annoyance-avoiding tactics.

See, I'm just not really that fond of playing Whack-A-Troll. It's not funny, and it's not edifying.

I can insult fellow AOSHQ regulars all day long, and receive the same in kind, but it's always good-natured. This blog is kind of weird that way. Folks here have called me a homo, a retard, a cuckold (several regulars claim to be fucking Mrs. Michael), a pathetic man in a Batman suit who is impotent, and so forth. Not once have I been offended.

Playing Whack-A-Troll is different. The conversations actually get nasty, and the wit is lacking.

My very brief conversation with you is a case in point. You're not funny, you're not intellectually engaging, you're not even capable of a competent flame. You're just another vacuous liberal with Michael Moore's jizz dripping off his chin.

'Bye.

Posted by Michael at December 30, 2005 07:51 PM

I can NOT come up with a response to that. the logic is infallible.and to think, I've been wrong, all these years.

stupid poorly-crafted words makers!!!!

I suffer from deja vu amnesia

I think I have forgotten this before.

Michael, you broke a copyright law!

Michael, you broke a copyright law!

MacStansbury:

Not actually. In copyright law there is something called the "fair use doctrine" (heavily relied upon by Ace) which you can use for reasonable commentary on the remarks of others, provided your quotations are limited. And you can rely on this doctrine to quote Brewfan at length and call him a dirty little whore.

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a pig. The dog asks him, "Where is the Sun?" The Blond replies, "If for no other reason". And the moral is, can you dig it? I mean can you REALLY dig it, man?*

*Please refer to Barzillian Greg for a what the fuck translation

You know Michael, I gave this to a troll last night, but I think this guy applies as well...

I bet you make prank phone calls to Dick Cheney's cock just to piss it off, so that when the day comes, the day that it finds you, it'll give you an angry double-cougar, just like you like it.

Posted by Uncle Jefe at December 30, 2005 02:33 AM

Wow, some good crazy thats been being used in the last coupla hours. That's the kind of crazy that makes my eyes bleed as I try to find the point. I think that he thinks that violence is about cocksuckers and versions of truth. brillant.

As for copyright laws, I am shocked, that someone would cite someone else's work on the web. Christ, all weblogs are is some dude quoting other people's articles or websites and then commenting about them.

So when the mindless enter the den of the ruthless, and relentless, is that a good sign, or bad?

I mean now that we're getting drive-by's and all.

Michael,

Good response. The troll obviously has at least a third grade education and second-rate evaluation competency. I disagree with you frequently, but this guy's not even on the same planet as the mostly-educated, mostly-informed commenters here. I respect your positions because they are for the most part thought out. This guy is similar to the people back in the sixties who saw a commie underneath every bed, but he sees Christians! Oh my! And they are obviously just as dangerous as those who practice the religion of peace by beheadings and blowing up civilians to gain their regenerating 72.

Thank you for the post.

So when the mindless enter the den of the ruthless, and relentless, is that a good sign, or bad?

Ruthless I could see. But relentless? Sounds like too much work...

As entertaining as this blog and its regular commenters are during the course of a normal day, the amps go straight to fucking 11 when moonbat trolls show up. Good show and more please.

Oh, and Michael, I loved reading you revisit the various insults the Ace Of Spades Menagerie has hurled at you.

Homo.

Yeah, Michael, and I liked how you re-posted the exchange between you and Blinded. Very helpful. There was no way I would have remembered what I read an hour ago. Thank you.

Impotent retard.

slurp lick gag slurp lick lick

Let me help. What Mrs. Michael is trying to say (easy their, honey) is Jeff B. is right.

We have a saying in my country - the coyote of the desert likes to eat the heart of the young and the blood drips down to his children for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Jackstraw, I think Tito had the best line in the movie!

I like how Blinded made Gene sound normal. Trolls, trolls, trolls!

I have no idea what they were babbling about, but apparently at some point one troll made a very cogent argument. He said so. Evidently, all people who believe in God are bad. And we are losing in Iraq. bravo.

So, JackStraw, do you know spurwing plover by any chance? 'Cause I'm thinking he's from that same country. :)

Dave who is this Tito of who you speak?

Oops.

Tino

* = b

What yall are missing here (but being very funny while doing it) is the mindset of the liberal.

We are as bad as the terrorists, the only difference being we don't hop on planes and fly them into buildings.

So there you have it. All of us here, law abiding citizens, taxpayers, volunteers, some Church goers..;-) sports watchers, hard workers, faithful spouses, great moms and dads......are just like the terrorists.

It's like stepping through the looking glass and sitting down at the Mad Hatter tea party every time I read one of these guys.

Where have you been all day RWS?

GWB is worse than anything the terrorists can do to us.

Fish around in the comments and be amazed. Particularly when you call them on it, where they cry "thas not whut I sed"!

Good one, RWS. Its not as if you can argue with it. This is what the guy believes. Sometimes its fun to poke a stick at the troll as it gurgles out some nonsense. But what can you do if someone thinks Christians are like Atta.

Wait. He was talking about Christians?

And he thinks what? That this place is filled with little Billy Grahams???

Hahahahahahaha....Does he ever read this blog????

No offense, but you know what I mean guys. It's not we have Bible study here.

;-)

Everyone turn to Second Chronicles, 12:4

it's on page 432 in my bible

"We are as bad as the terrorists" - rws

Actually to a liberal we're worse, because we don't hate hate hate the US, Israel, Christians President Bush etc as the terrorists (and the liberals) do.

At AofSHQ, you can be as dirty or as clean as you want to be. The ratio is about three dudes who beat in their batman costume to one woman. It's an expensive site, full of D&D players. I like it when they call me DM.

...[Shishak] captured the fortified cities of Judah and came as far as Jerusalem.

Amen, brother.
How is this verse relevant to the current topic?

"Fish around in the comments and be amazed" - d-in-t

Actually it all comes into place when you realize the left is the John Birch Society turned inside out - the left uses different code words, but displays all of the hatred, paranoia, bigotry and intolerance of the JBS.

Or to put it another way, both think of reality, not as reality, but as some that has to be made to fit into a 'procrustean bed' of their preconceptions about what reality should be. And when that doesn't work (and it never does) they retreat into paranoia, hatred, name-calling etc.

Its all about the immizeration, man!

and the value rite vodka

This must be some sort of retard convention. How did they manage to get so many morons in one thread?

This must be some sort of retard convention. How did they manage to get so many morons in one thread?

I see you fit right in, Josie.

I have read the post and all the comments, and like the man who woke up with a bullet in his head, I have no friggin idea what is going on.

Everyone turn to Second Chronicles, 12:4

it's on page 432 in my bible

Dang, I thought that was "Granma's Lye soap"

Way back in the days of bringing liberation to the masses (the sixties), I started out nearly joining the JBS. Didn't quite set well, though, dropped out of that school, then started in one of the lib west coast state schools. Nearly joined the SDS, 'til I realized it was just like the JBS with different language.

That's when I started my journey to the real world, watchin' folks and how they act/react. Came to be a conservative in a real liberal college town, and am proud of it.

Point is, when the wackos on either side get to the extreme, there ain't a dime's worth of difference in what they want, as long as they're in control.

As a side note, I ain't seen too many practicin' Christians that want to control everything I say and do, like the loony left does. Theocracy, my butt! Only from the worshippers of moonbattery.

The ratio is about three dudes who beat in their batman costume to one woman.

Where are the men who beat in their Aquaman costumes? Inquiring Minds want to know.

I meant "beat it," but I am sure aquaman is too busy. fighting crime. underwater.

Carlos!

You might have something there. Maybe they all go to Our Lady Of The Moonbat where they pray 10 I hate Bush's and 1 Glory Be to Clinton every day. Where they wait for the day when there is an establishment of no religion whatsoever.

Anyone caught reading a Bible will burned at the stake. Anyone writing anything religious oriented will be whitelisted. People in hollywood will be asked " have you now or ever been a Baptist???"

Ok, I'll stop now.

Uncle Jonathan's Corncob pipe!

. . .actually, I suspect Atta thought 'his' truth and the 'higher' truth were one and the same thing.

'Blinded', of course, is the perfect skeptic--he has doubted, and continues to doubt, everything. (Just ask him--he's got the junior college philosophy degree to prove it!)

But alas--tho' the slumbering world aches for his wisdom--our martyred genius currently lives in a cozy padded room in Bellevue, refusing to leave his bed because the nurse can't PROVE that the floor will support him if he stands up--and has to be fed by intravenous drip, because she also can't PROVE that that bread will nourish him if he eats it.

:sniff: It's so sad, really. Like Nietzsche. . .without the syphilis.

And the Kos Kidz/DU/Cindy Sheehan/Howard Dean people AREN'T married to their own version of the truth? Feh!

Where are the men who beat in their Aquaman costumes? Inquiring Minds want to know.

A real man would never use an Aquaman costume.

I mean, for starters, Aquaman does not even have a cape.

His boots are pretty cool, but that's not enough.

I'm pretty sure that guy I met at the Brokeback Mountain premire was a real man, because he showed me, and he was wearing an Aquaman suit.

His nipples have orange scales on them.

His nipples have orange scales on them.

Sortelli:

Are you saying that's a bad thing?

It must be because it makes me feel like when I'm climbing the rope in gym class.

Michael I want to suck Proud's cock so bad I follow him around like the lost little fag, piece of shit I am.

sort of unrelated to the topic(s) at hand, but a quick question:

Is anybody else annoyed that the movie 'The Producers' is being touted as the film version of the hit Broadway play - with no mention being made that the Hit Broadway Play was based on a movie called, ironically, "The Producers"?

Call me crazy, but I think that this, coupled with the remake of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" is, in fact, an attempt by Hollywood to erase Gene Wilder from our collective memories.

What's next? A remake of 'Silver Streak' starring Chris Tucker and Owen Wilson?

Carry on.

.

I am a piece of shit troll who can't do anything better than steal other people's identities and make them say things they never would. It's really because I have no creativity, wit or ability to write anything other than 'fag' and variations of that word.

It all started when I was ass-raped by a puma at the behest of someone's prayer to Satan. I've been an embittered soul since then, only able to spout out the most pathetically simple insults on discussion boards while pretending to be a veteran of the miliary

I'll admit, my life is pretty pathetic. It's a blur of drunken, Boone's farm fueled benders, writing on discussion boards and glory-hole sexual experiences.

I'm a creature that deserves your pity, not your scorn. Won't somebody please love me?

I am a piece of shit troll who can't do anything better than steal other people's identities and make them say things they never would. It's really because I have no creativity, wit or ability to write anything other than 'fag' and variations of that word.

It all started when I was ass-raped by a puma at the behest of someone's prayer to Satan. I've been an embittered soul since then, only able to spout out the most pathetically simple insults on discussion boards while pretending to be a veteran of the miliary

I'll admit, my life is pretty pathetic. It's a blur of drunken, Boone's farm fueled benders, writing on discussion boards and glory-hole sexual experiences.

I'm a creature that deserves your pity, not your scorn. Won't somebody please love me?

Now I'm stealing other people's comments, thinking it clever.

How pathetic is that?

Man, I wish I was clever like all of you.

I only call you fags because I desperately want an ass-pounding from each and every one of you.

I'll even call you daddy, if you want.

Sorry about the double post guys. Please ignore the fact that I am pretending to be another poster, while at the same time attacking that poster for pretending to be another poster.

You see I'm just an idiot.

Now I'm desperately trying to figure out who's writing this and insult them for doing it. It's not working, as everyone knows Sortelli is a good guy and I'm a pathetic, worthless piece of shit.

I'll only find purpose in the ass-poundings you all give me, if you would only open your hearts to me.

In other words, it isn't Sortelli, asshole. So leave him alone.

Everyone sees you for what you are.

And no one likes you.

Not a single one of us.

So fuck off.

Look I know I started this whole stealing other poster’s identity thing, which annoys everyone. However, I think you should all join me in blaming Proud for doing it. Besides, he is a Liberal and by that fact alone deserves to be blamed for everything. He can't even match the brilliant posts that others and I work so diligently to provide. Please I'm begging you all; please blame Proud for all the wrong in the world.

There are free blowjobs in it for all of you.

You're not funny. You're not witty. You make no salient points, or any arguments for whatever political philosophy you claim to hold.

You simply come in here, shit all over everything and leave. It's sad and pathetic.

Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to morons?

I'll admit, at first you were kind of funny. Then we all realized just how sad you were - pretending to be a veteran, calling everyone a 'fag.'

If you weren't such a complete and utter asshole, we'd almost feel sorry for you.

Why would he want to be like by people he depises and hates? I don't see that being much of a blow.

Sorry for using the word blow Sortelli.

I don't care if he despises and hates me. I lied before. There is a part of me that feels sorry for whoever posts under the name Proud Liberal Vet.

I can't imagine what it's like having so much hatred, so much venom and anger. It's hard to watch such self-destructive behavior.

Your whole life is filled with hate and venom fag? I just want you to know how much you are hated and depised back.

We all goof on this site about movies and popular culture, but I think there is some truth to the line by Powers Boothe in "Red Dawn," when he says "all that hate's going to burn you up, kid."

So far, the hate and anger has done nothing more than make you unlikeable on a discussion board. I sincerely hope it does no damage to the life you lead outside this discussion board, this false world.

Do you think I give a shit if 3 or 4 traitors hate me fag?

I really think you do. And I think it burns you up inside. And I hope you can eventually find a way to rid yourself of that anger.

Yea it really brakes me up that a maggot like you doesn't like me. How can I continue?

Hate you? Not really. I don't like what you do and say on this board, but I have no idea who you are. I find it hard to hate people I don't know.

I'm just a guy who hates watching someone consume themselves in hatred for others.

you could grab a dictionary

"I'm just a guy who hates watching someone consume themselves in hatred for others."

That's because as a fag, you are very sensitive. Please don't leave any room for not hating me, because there is none on this side.

I know. That's what I find the most sad. Your inability to stop hating.

I'll send you some kleenex fag.

Go ahead, keep the insults coming. If you think they bother me, you are mistaken. They only provide more evidence of what hatred has created in you.

I think it's even more sad that people are posting replies to themselves under fake names, ace/atwater, or no names, __ /__.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to start my day for real now. I sincerely hope you're able to work out some of the issues you have with conservatives. Hatred, in all its forms, is an ugly thing and ultimately self-destructive.

If you spent time really reading the posts here, you'll find most of us don't hate liberals. Don't get me wrong, we like insulting the heck out of you, think you're all rather misguided and wrong, but hatred is a strong, dark emotion best left to expend on things like spiders and light beer.

Just something to think about.

Tell you what when you see me insulting conservatives just pretend there is no hatred behind it, even though there is, and perhaps it will not upset you quite so much.

I guess you'll just have to trust me on this one, PLV. There's no malice here.

Irritation? Sure. A desire to defeat your ideas in the arena of ideas? Absolutely. But hatred? Sorry, but as I said before, I simply cannot bring myself to hate people I have never met.

That you can is more a testament to what you have allowed into your heart. Distracting yourself with the admittedly silly antics of those of us who love to goof off on this blog may allow you to justify your hatred, but it does not excuse it. Nothing does.

The problem is you don't attack ideas, you attack people. If you want to be taken more seriously try sticking to the former, otherwise expect incoming fire aimed directly right at you.

And nothing ever will.

If you want to continue embracing your hatred and using us to justify it, fine. That's your decision. But I have emailed a few people who post here and who like to engage in the flame wars. Personally, I just have fun with it. People call me names, I call them names - there's rarely any malice involved.

With you, though, there's something different. An edge. Your hatred for us is palpable, and disturbing. Your insults? Let's be honest here - they're not all that effective and lead me to believe you're much younger than you pretend to be.

Just because you say you don't hate him, and have no malice, doesn't make it so. In fact, it reeks of bullshit.

Okay, you're entitled to that opinion. But you're wrong.

Plus, you're not getting it. I expect the incoming fire. But you didn't come in here attacking our ideas. You came in attacking people, then impersonating people. If you'll read through this, we do enjoy the give and take of actual debate with liberals, and have a few that actually engage in such debate.

Most of you, though, come in with chips on your shoulders and flames in your posts. In those cases, you're going to get back what you came in with. That's the way this whole internet thing works.

Let me add to that statement - I LOVE the incoming fire. I sometimes laugh out loud at a particularly good insult, even if it's directed at me. That's just me, though. I'm kind of wrong in the head that way.

"Let's be honest here - they're not all that effective and lead me to believe you're much younger than you pretend to be."

Is this your idea of attacking my ideas moron? By the way those previous posts were not me. Why don't you lecture the idiots on your side and leave me alone goof?

Woah, man. It looks like an anonymous commenter is having a really weird argument with himself.

it takes alot of carrots to make a glas of carot juce

(Have I captured the essence of spurwing?)

Maybe I should clarify a little. Although I hate almost all of you moronic fags with a passion, I do like Michael. He is certainly a cut above the rest of you jerks. Michael is intelligent, reasonable and entertaining. The rest of you I hate hate hate.

I want to suck Michael's cock.

Michael will be delighted to hear that he is one moronic fag that you actually like. Probably because instead of being a jerk moronic fag he's an intelligent, reasonable, and entertaining moronic fag.

Have I captured the essence of spurwing?

No. (Better than I could do, though.)

"Michael will be delighted to hear that he is one moronic fag that you actually like. "

That was me, not him.

. . .I think I may copy the whole latter half of this thread into a Word file and sell it as conceptual art. Maybe print it out over an artistic rendering of Junichiro Koizumi and Radko Mladic going down on George Bush, just to broaden the appeal, and keep the possibility of an Austrian grant open.

Michael is intelligent, reasonable and entertaining. The rest of you I hate hate hate.

You and me both, anonymous.

Only, over time, I've learned to hate Michael, too. Someday you can learn, too. Baby steps, anonymous. Hateful little baby steps.

Oh, well if you're the one who likes Michael the moronic fag, then he won't be delighted. I take it back.

I would add though that I would like to eat Michael's shit, as long as it is in a cone.

You'll have to beg, Emperor. Michael promised me the lifetime supply if I'd talk dirty about Dick Cheney during our next 'fishing trip.' So of course I did.

I hope it goes without saying that everything after "December 31, 2005 02:19 AM" ain't me.

But I am pretty amused at the thought that PLV stayed up all night arguing with someone he thought was me, because I was offline after those Aquaman posts. Mua ha ha.

Is this some kind of logical paradox? At 3:24 PM Sortelli says that no comment after 2:19 AM is by Sortelli.

Dude.

That's simple Icecream, I'm lying my ass off. I'm obsessed with PLV and follow him around like a lost puppy.

Is this some kind of logical paradox?

Wait a second... are you reading this blog sober, Emperor? That's your problem, right there.

Woah, man. It looks like an anonymous commenter is having a really weird argument with himself.

anonymous commenter = ace

"That's simple Icecream, I'm lying my ass off. I'm obsessed with PLV and follow him around like a lost puppy."

Are you lying your ass off in this comment too? Because, whoa!

Yes, I am reading sober. Since Ace said I couldn't be the designated love monkey, I'm going for designated driver instead.

Just for the record I haven't posted in this shithole for 2 weeks now so you morons are being had by one lousy piece of shit.

See ya.

And how is that a change from when you were posting?

Nothing has changed. You are still a moron. This is stilll a shithole. I don't give a fuck one way or another. Bush is still a draft dodging, traitor who needs to be impeached.

Nothing has changed asswipe.

"Liberal Vet," you're hot and everything, but get out of my face.

Wait a second... are you reading this blog sober, Emperor? That's your problem, right there.

You are a wise person, Sandy.

Bush is still a draft dodging, traitor who needs to be impeached.

I hadn't realized that BDS so precisely parallels normal people's complaint about then-President Clinton.

Cordially...