And I wanna know how big this woman's mouth was that she was able to get the cell phone in there in the first place. For that matterI would be interested in a picture of her so that we might see how, big the rest of her was, too.

Turns out it got lodged in her throat and blocked her breathing. But what were the odds of that happening?

Pretty damn high. You try it. lol! I'm surprised more remote controls aren't swallowed.

Just tell me please that they have no children....

You gotta admire her instincts though. See if her boyfriend was real smart he would get into an arguement with her about using his dick.

Drudge has updated his link to a new article indicating the police now think the woman was assaulted.

Oh, what an asshole! He could have killed her easy with that stunt.

He could have killed her easy with that stunt.

Excuse me, anonobitch. How does this become a "stunt" by the guy rather than her own stupidity?

For all we know, it was his own phone that he wanted back.

Oh, I forgot. It's always the guy's fault.

Careful Michael, this might be the sensitive Josie. It's the use of the word 'asshole' that's making me suspicious. If I'm right, expect a hearty 'F*** You' any moment now.

Dear michaelknownasshole, the link is to a news story that states that the police do not believe she swallowed the phone voluntarily. I trust their opinion based on their investigation over your barely contained misogynism anyday.

Yeah, i'm sensitive. I think physically forcing objects down people's throats almost killing them regardless of their sex is a crime. Go figure.

Unknown poster:

Chill out. Michael misunderstood. He thought the story said (without reading it) that the woman was assaulted, then chose herself (to get back at the boyfriend) to swallow it. Obviously he is not in favor of forcing women to swallow cell-phones.

You really need to fucking get off your high horse of perpetual outrage and exhibit some degree of common sense and good-faith in the people you correspond with, rather than immediately assuming the worst to show how much you care about violence against women.

Given two possibilities:

Michale misunderstood, or

Michael supports choking women with cell-phones,

what fucking bad-wiring in your skull makes you immediately and consistently leap to the worst possibile interpretation?

Is it just because you need to reassure yourself constantly about your putative moral superiority?

Excuse me? He starts out with calling me a bitch but I am the one who you accuse of leaping to the worse possible interpretation? Right.

Wait a minute. I read the article. I don't see anything about her getting assaulted. I don't see anything about whose phone it actually was. There is no suggestion that the police consider the guy to be culpable. The article says:

"He wanted the phone and she wouldn't give it to him, so she attempted to swallow it," Detective Sgt. Steve Decker of the Blue Springs Police Department. "She just put the entire phone in her mouth so he couldn't get it." [emphasis mine]

Am I missing something? We can reasonably guess that he tried to grab the phone (although the article does not say this), but that's a long way from forcing a phone down her throat.

If the guy actually assaulted her, he should be prosecuted, of course. My only objection to anonobitch is that she appeared to be automatically blaming the guy and absolving the woman of any responsibility for her own stupidity, when the article tells us next to nothing about what actually happened.

Michael: the story has been updated. Now they think somebody else shoved the phone down her throat instead of it being self-inflicted.

anonobitch: lighten up.

digitalbrownshirt: you're a bitch. now you lighten up.

Here's the updated story

digitalbrownshirt: you're a bitch. now you lighten up.

The exact response I expected. You're like a trained seal.

Again: Michael was reading the previous story.

I realized right away he misunderstood. Why didn't you?

It's because you're hellbent to assume the worst about any man you talk to.

It's childish and you do it largely to assure yourself of your own righteousness.

Anyone can feel smart if they assume without evidence that everyone else is stupid.

Similarly, anyone can feel morally superior by assuming with no evidence that, for example, any man you talk to supports attempting to kill a woman by stuffing a cellphone down her throat.

I'm not asking you to not be a feminist or not care about these things. I'm asking you, pretty please with sugar on top, to stop always getting so shrilly holier than thou and assuming men want to kill you.

I don't want to kill you. I don't even want to smack you. I want to give you a little internet smack-down and make you behave a little better. And stop being so freaking annoyingly insecure.

I have an idea for tomorrow's radio show...

No, seriously, wouldn't it have been funny if the phone started ringing while in her mouth?

Better yet, it was a Nextel and the person on the other end was talking and all the paramedics and police had a chuckle. It was so funny, even the boyfriend and girlfriend laughed. Then they had crazy wild make-up sex and lived happily ever after.

Well, not really. They were happy for a couple of days until the boyfriend said he wanted to go out drinking with his friends.

She said no way and tried to hide his car-keys...

...in her ass.

Evrytime she sits down, his car's doors unlock.

Bart, you're a bad, bad man.

Are we goning to have an end-of-the-year extravaganza?

A mega flame thread?

Or,

A Best of AoS thread with nominations for awards:
Best Commenter
Worst Commenter
Best Troll
Worst Troll
Funniest Commenter
Stoopidest Commenter
Etc.

?? Huh, huh. What do you think?

How do you define the difference between "best" and "worst" troll?

That's a good question.

I guess the "best" troll would be the troll who is effective, i.e. gets the biggest rise out of us.

The "worst" troll is someone who posts like a ninny and is shit upon by the regulars, yet they keep coming back for more.

I already know who I'll nominate for Most Liberal Conservative: Knemon.

And the Biggest Homo Apologist: three-way tie between Ace, SJKevin, and Sandy Burger.

Knemon is a liberal conservative? I thought he was a conservative liberal.

How do you define the difference between "best" and "worst" troll?

Easy. Cedarford was the gold standard of trolls.

But was he the worst or the best? Not many trolls get their own anti-blogs dedicated to mocking them.

I think "best" = most effective at stirring the pot. And yes, Cedarford was the gold standard at doing that.

VonKreedon was by far the most interesting.

Actually, I wouldn't call him a troll. He wasn't trollish, he was engaging. A troll is some idiot that drops in and says something profound and ends it with some idiotic signature like DISMISSED!

For commenters like Von K, we can have a Best Liberal Commenter award, for those commenters who aren't hit-and-run, drive-by, and completely dishonest.

That wasn't a slam on Knemon, by the way.
I like Knemon. I just think he's a bleeding heart, softie on some issues, that's all.