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December 21, 2005

Supermodel Immigration Reform

Finally, two brave legislators stand fast (scoll down) against the rising tide of anti-supermodel-immigrant hysteria sweeping out from the red states:

Because there aren't enough gorgeous glamazons on these shores already, Reps. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.) have co-sponsored a very special bill for supermodels. Introduced last month, HR 4354 would amend the Immigration and Nationality Act to establish a separate, nonimmigrant classification for fashion models -- in short, make it easier for beauties from Brazil, Russia, the Czech Republic and other far-flung locales to strut their skinny little butts on our runways.

Weiner, a 41-year-old bachelor, says he's trying to end a shortage that makes American modeling agencies lose business internationally.

Remember, by walking the runways for thousands an hour, dating greasy-haired N.Y. euro-trash and snorting up coke like a Hoover, they’re only doing a job Americans wouldn’t touch anyway. (at least that euro-trash part).

posted by Dr. Reo Symes at 04:22 PM

Comments

I already have enough immigrant supermodels hitting on me wherever I go. This will only make it worse for me.

Posted by: El Greco on December 21, 2005 04:28 PM

They're like pandas.

Cute, and people like them, but you have to get them into organized breeding programs, or who knows what sort of troglodytes they might end up marrying...

Posted by: cirby on December 21, 2005 04:39 PM

Weiner, a 41-year-old bachelor...

And yet another gay thread.

Posted by: Bart on December 21, 2005 04:40 PM

This is wonderful!
I'm so proud of this humanitarian effort to allow these women from impoverished countries the opportunity to 'make it' in the land of plenty, that I humbly open my doors to house, say, three at a time on a monthly rotating schedule.
For the next 20 years.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe on December 21, 2005 04:41 PM

Hey, I'm curious-- does this apply to mail-order brides, too?

Because, trust me, they're fashion models to me. Especially when they model the fox plushie gear I buy for them.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on December 21, 2005 05:02 PM

I don't know about supermodels, but I have relevant experience with respect to beauty pageant queens. 'Skinny' is definitely not the applicable adjective.

Gregor and I were walking from Torre Pequiven to Centro Sambil in Caracas, talking about work-related matters on our way to lunch. We were passed by a representative specimen of Venezuela's outstanding export. We suffered simultaneous total system reset. She smiled at us and continued on her way. It was more than a few seconds later that we resumed our stroll, and a lot later than that before we were able to recover the thread of our conversation.

The thought that these poor creatures must languish on the outside looking in at the land of plenty is heartrending. We must do all we can to add their plenty to ours, rather than to continue to force them to waste their sweetness on the desert air.

Posted by: JimT on December 21, 2005 05:03 PM

And yet another gay thread.

Well, thank God! With this constant exposure to gayness, I have now become addicted. If I don't have my daily dose of tehy gay, I start jonesing all over the place.

Posted by: on December 21, 2005 05:50 PM

Okay, so this was from the Onion, right?

Posted by: Partisan Pundit on December 21, 2005 06:12 PM

JimT:

I've been put into near-coma states by Venezuelan women several times, as well as similar types from that region.

The thing we really have to watch out for is the coming influx of Lebanese females. Deeply attractive, smart, well-kept, and completely insane.

Posted by: cirby on December 21, 2005 06:41 PM

See, the important thing here is that we change the immigration laws to ensure that only those supermodels who bring something to the table get the a qucik look and a cute smile from Uncle Sam.

Cause these applicants have to know: it's a predator prey relationship. Many of them, while exceedingly attractive by, say, Austrian standrds, may in reality only be 7's or 7.5's. We have to make sure our laws only allow for 8-10's to enter through this program.

Trust me, at the end of the day an immigration policty structured in a nonplacating fashion will be a set of laws we can all be gracious for.

Posted by: Jack M. on December 21, 2005 08:13 PM

Jack M. - I assume you were speaking pubescently?

Posted by: holdfast on December 21, 2005 11:00 PM

Holdfast,

Of course I was. I mean, speaking pubescently, I was a late bloomer. Why, when I was in the 9th grade I used to get blowjobs from a model. She was hot, too.

But it wasn't until I grew up and filled out and joined the football team that I began to attract SUPER-models. That's just the way it worked in Nebraska. You became the quarterback and you got Tyra Banks and Giselle Bundschen. I'm sure all the guys in here can relate.

Posted by: Jack M. on December 22, 2005 01:37 AM

You became the quarterback and you got Tyra Banks and Giselle Bundschen. I'm sure all the guys in here can relate.

Maybe it's just me. (It probably is.) But Giselle is just not attractive. She has a face like a horse, and always stands around with her mouth hanging open, looking like she's still passed out from a heroin overdose.

We need more like Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio, IMO.

Posted by: Wiz on December 22, 2005 03:16 PM

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MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust.

Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
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Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

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Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

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