jesus genral HUMOR blog reads like margret cho's reject material.

If we say somebody’s carried a category, you can take that to the bank.

We are now projecting "The Anchoress" as the winner of the "Best Conservative Blog" award...

Ace! Couldn't you have linked to your own ballot since we are such lazy fucks? Thanks. Or, are you testing our loyality? If so, you're out of luck. lol!

Dave - check
Wuzzadem - check
Zombie - check (even though I think he was responsible for the self-inflicted elephantitis pictures)

I want my crack rock and tix to the Saints game now!

Jesus' General is not longer in the running. Wonder why?

Ace, the fact that the voting will take five whole minutes is a desperate measure and not a sign of an election that could be certified as free and fair. I would think you of all people should know that.

I scoured the Jesus blog for funny content, and I'm tellin ya, I came up dry. And I don't like to be dry.

If that blog were a stand-up act, I'd so be ditchin' the act and hangin' out in the bar.

Now, I'm perfectly aware that liberals and conversatives sometimes don't "get" each others' humor, but in what universe is Jesus' General considered humor? I can't imagine that liberals even find it funny.

Thanks for the shout out. . . I will sacrifice a virgin in your honor.

Or maybe just bbeck, I dunno who.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

God, I'm glad that's over.
I've voted so much, my whole arm's purple!

Where has bbeck been lately?

I will sacrifice a virgin in your honor.

Good luck finding one.

Found on the Corner: Kerry talks about Bush impeachment, says 'he's joking.'

HA HA HA...man, presidential impeachment jokes just never get old.

Where has bbeck been lately?

. . . and Megan?

I don't know if RWS has mentioned it, but some of the other blog's supporters in her category were leaving "mean spirited" messages on RWS's blog.

The bloggers, the homeschoolers, apologized for the comments and urged their supporters to apologize to Sparkle.

Anyway, the comments were hardly mean-spirited by our standards. Those poor kids would faint if the saw the kind of shit we posted here.

I thought it was worth mentioning. Plus, I was very impressed with the homeschoolers. They are polite, intelligent, and very classy.

"Plus, I was very impressed with the homeschoolers. They are polite, intelligent, and very classy. "

And they're tasty in a mint sauce, too!

Anyway, I second the questions: where's bbeck and Megan? It's like all the women finally got scared away from here.

Huh. I wonder how that happened-- I mean, we gentlemen have always been nothing but nice to the fabulous ladies of Ace of Spades HQ.

Strange. . .

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

WTF, how is Jesus General beating Dilbert?
I remember last year when there were... irregularities in the voting procedure. Liberals were bragging about how they cheated. Imagine that.

That is strange. I guess the women don't like to talk about Dick Cheney's cock, Chris Klein, Gay films, KinG Kong, automatic weapons, Gay life, Dungeons & Dragons, or Gay sex ad nauseum.

Who knew?

Timmy, always with the complaining about the gay.

Join the fun! We'll have a gay old time!

That is strange. I guess the women don't like to talk about Dick Cheney's cock, Chris Klein, Gay films, KinG Kong, automatic weapons, Gay life, Dungeons & Dragons, or Gay sex ad nauseum.

No, I don't think that's it.

I scanned over Jesus' General, and that site is funny the way Woody Allen's later movies are good. You don't actually like them, but you get a warm feeling from thinking about the riff-raff who wouldn't like the jokes. I'll be interested to see if those votes are legit. Jesus' General: more popular than Dilbert. Who knew?

It's hard to take these awards too seriously when that dingy little blog is beating everyone who actually makes me laugh. Ace isn't even competing as a humor blog, and he would crush Jesus' General. Probably just opted out of the category to give the other finalists a chance. The same reason AoSHQ isn't competing as a GLBT blog.

They are polite, intelligent, and very classy.

As compared to us? That's like positiing that Arnold Schwarzenegger is tougher than Al Franken.

Shut up, Timmy!

You had me at Dick Cheney's cock.

Mmm...no other chicks....This means I have all you hot, hyperliterate nerds to myself.

TOTALLY hot.

Allah - Look, I only agreed to go camping with you on one condition. That you don't try any weird stuff.

Ace - Okay, Ennis

Allah - And stop calling me Ennis. You know I hate that shit.

Ace - Yeah, okay. Um, let's eat.

The night grows colder and the two men start moving closer to the fire, and each other.

Allah - Ace, I'm serious. Step off.

Ace - Allah, there are truths we can't deny.

Allah - Look, I'm only moving closer to you for the warmth, okay? It's pretty fucking cold out here.

Ace - That's okay. It's nobody's business but ours.

The two huddle for warmth, then Ace makes his move.

Allah - Ace, quit it. Hands off the junk, okay?

Ace - You have no idea how bad it gets.

Allah - Look, if you can't fix it, you've gotta stand it.

Ace, moving closer - Let's get a place of our own. It could be like this, just like this, always.

Allah - Dude, you're not getting it. I don't want you in that way.

Ace - But I don't know how to quit you. I wish I knew how to quit you.

Allah stands, moves away.

Allah - That's it. I'm going home. My apartment's only a few blocks from here. Fuck this noise.

Ace holds Allah's pillow and cries.

we gentlemen have always been nothing but nice to the fabulous ladies of Ace of Spades HQ.

Oh hell yes, manners we didn't even know we had.

Gee, ace, you're doing really good. Between my 76 votes for you and the 2900 votes you put in, looks like you'll win.

I don't get it.
Joos don't camp.

And what does "hyperliterate" mean?

Sean,

Where did you see that Jesus' General was knocked out of the running?

And yes, I looked at his site. There is nothing funny on it. Its not even the 'don't get it' kind of funny.

Timmy: If you don't know what hyperliterate means, it doesn't apply to you... dumbass.

Ace, thanks for mentioning me!!!

All I know is the homeschooled boys are off to some camp and so aren't able to beg, beg. Plus they have a homeschooled weblog award thing going too.

So help me close in on them!! The only way to do it is a last minute PUSH of votes!!!

Show me some love guys!!!!!! You know how I love you..;-)

http://weblogawards.org/2005/12/best_of_the_top_1001_1750_blog.php

GO VOTE FOR ELLEN!!! :)

SCREW HELEN!!!!

She will be crushed. Her website is like the Seinfeld series -- it's about NOTHING.

This Hillary chick is from Canada, folks.
Canada! That means she's not even a whole person.

Vote for Dave in Garfield, Dambit.

I don't get it.
Joos don't camp.

Oh yeah? Then how come I can never get the Sniper Rifle in Halo 2? Huh?

You know what's really funny?
Up until a few days ago I was voting for Feisty. So if Dave loses by less than ten votes, it will be my fault. And Feisty's fault, too, for being so damn...feisty.

Now, I think i'll be more upset than Dave if he loses and Ellen wins (the coveted Best Blog in the 3501-5000 category, a.k.a. The Best Blogs that are read by a handful of people Award).

Okay, I've been voting consistently for Ace, RWS, Dave, Wuz, Zombie, and Yon. Now I need some votes for URBANGROUNDS who is only one point behind but now one point ahead of his nearest competitior.

Urbangrounds is a conservative Austin Texas blog I found through AOSHQ. So, if he was good enough for Ace to link to, he's good enough to throw a couple of votes his way.

Help him snatch victory from defeat -- or at least fourth place. Thanks.

p.s. As an incentive, I promise not to insinuate that you guys are all gay for the rest of the year. :)

Dang! I know how lazy (but lovable!) yall are. I forgot to easy link my weblog vote.

Guys! Please!!

I'm voting for Ellen. She's funny, and she' so NOT Dave. That's enough for me to support her. And I'm not Canadian.

It seems like the only category conservatives are going to win is going to be Best Conservative Blog.

Thank god the liberals don't come out to vote like this for the real elections.

vote for me!

oh, wait, is that the time?

never mind.

instead, go look at this funny commercial

That may be the best commercial ever.

It was you...you...you who help to beat us! :) Actually ("Ellen") is pretty nice and gave Dave a good run for his money. I'm sure he's off to take a nice cold shower now that he's won.

A good race? Yes it was, Jason, and that's a great blog Ellen has created. Well done.

P.S. Funny thing is, nobody here really likes Dave but he's a part of the family and we will always be loyal to our family members.