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December 09, 2005

Chris Klein Finds Love Again, Or, Rather, Someone Who Doesn't Have To Get Out Of His Face At This Very Moment

Good, I'd been so worried.

Speaking of his new lifemate, the non-placating thespian said, "You’re not gonna give me the time of day and lay down for me, well, somebody else in this town will because I’ve got this thing that’s working, you know? And I'm very gracious for that."

Apparently the new flame Lindley Gardner competed for his affections with another woman, and Mr. Klein reports it "was very exciting, to say the least."

Thanks to Allah.

Update: Press Junket A-Go-Go: I guess I shouldn't pick on him for this, because all of these celebrities keep getting asked the same questions about their new movie over and over, and of course they pretty much answer the same way every time.

Still, I'm getting tired of hearing about his (gasp!) braces.

With Katie Holmes engaged to Tom Cruise and having his baby, Chris Klein is firmly in the "friend zone" with his ex-fiancee. Although the "Just Friends" co-star isn't terribly broken up about his current situation, he recalls the pain of having a strictly platonic relationship with a girl he liked.
"Her name is Natalie. I remember my freshman and sophomore year of high school I was absolutely in love with her, but she was always busy dating older guys," said Klein. "I had braces and I was kind of a late bloomer pubescence-wise. So I didn't have the juice needed to get out of that. I was in jazz choir and things like that, and she was interested in all that stuff too, so we'd go on the road together. She dated a baseball player. I had no chance."

...

Klein's own confidence grew once he outgrew his scrawniness and became a football player, which helped improve his love life.

"Growing up in Omaha, Nebraska, that's kind of what you do: You play ball and you're good at it and you can have a girlfriend," said Klein. "Luckily, I did play and I was all right at it. So I did get a girlfriend."

The guy has a thousand different ways to say "when I hit puberty," and all of them are wrong.

There's one new Kleinboast there-- good at football. And also-- jazz choir. A very interesting mix of pursuits for this 21st Century Renaissance man.

So we have two more clues regarding this fascinating enigma we call Chris Klein. But, as with all things Kleinian, the more we dig, the deeper the mystery seems to become.

That's from an article by Hanh Nguyen appearing on Omaha.com.

posted by Ace at 01:40 PM

Comments

I can't believe you men think he is so hot looking. Bleh.

Posted by: on December 9, 2005 01:47 PM

So is Allah your official go-to guy for Chris Klein updates? He's disturbingly quick on the draw for these stories.

Posted by: Sobek on December 9, 2005 01:51 PM

Am I monitoring news coverage of Chris Klein? Absolutely. Should we discuss it further? No.

Posted by: Allah on December 9, 2005 01:57 PM

Yeah, the "jazz choir" thing got my attention too.

"Jazz choir"?

Posted by: Allah on December 9, 2005 01:57 PM

>>is dating 'Hellraiser: Inferno' actress Lindley Gardner.

She's billed as "Young Tongue Woman" in Hellraiser Inferno. I wonder what that means.

(That's her only IMDb credit. )

Posted by: jamie r. on December 9, 2005 02:06 PM

"Jazz choir"?

Sorry for the typo, that should read Jizz choir.

Hanh Nguyen
Omaha.com

Posted by: Hanh Nguyen on December 9, 2005 02:06 PM

yeah, cant seem to get an image of this little lady. Not even a maxim photo shoot.

Maybe Klein is dating something less than an 8-10

Posted by: joeindc44 on December 9, 2005 02:07 PM

The only images I found are here.

Posted by: Allah on December 9, 2005 02:09 PM

With all due respect, what a complete waste of bandwidth.

MCPO A -out.

Posted by: MCPO Airdale on December 9, 2005 02:11 PM

Platonic girlfriend in high school? Readymade excuse why he wasn't nailing her?

Exhibits F27 and 28 in the Chris Klein is a gaywad case. What will it take put you in this car today, gentlemen?

Posted by: spongeworthy on December 9, 2005 02:18 PM

So does this means Chris is gonna go on Oprah and jump up and down on her couch now?

Posted by: Brian B on December 9, 2005 02:27 PM

The guy has a thousand different ways to say "when I hit puberty," and all of them are wrong.

Kudos, Ace. Nice job working a Kipling allusion into a Chris Klein hit piece.

But then, Chris Klein is a lot like Kipling, isn't he? A renaissance man who splits his time between repressing the lower castes (females) and being all artsy-fartsy.

Or should I say, Kipling is a lot like Klein.

Posted by: Mark on December 9, 2005 02:32 PM

In this set of images, we can see the new Ms. Klein helping her husband build the kitchen where she will be cooking all the food.

Top row 3rd from left

Posted by: Defense Guy on December 9, 2005 02:37 PM

Chris Klein: the gift that just keeps on giving.

Posted by: Fred on December 9, 2005 02:47 PM

I bet she did all the work and he just faked it.

Posted by: on December 9, 2005 02:52 PM

Kudos, Ace. Nice job working a Kipling allusion into a Chris Klein hit piece.

I'm flattered that you think I could make a Kipling allusion deliberately.

Posted by: ace on December 9, 2005 02:53 PM

Another Chris Klein post.

More evidence this site is going gay.

PLV is right, you guys are republifags.

Posted by: Bart in "disgust" mode on December 9, 2005 02:57 PM

Wasn't this the same cat who was telling us about how he was eyebrow-deep in blowjobs from his senior class girlfriend when he was 14?

Did he mention he was drafted by the Kansas City As as well?

Posted by: Alex_fs on December 9, 2005 03:10 PM

In an actor v. actor punch-out, Powers Boothe and Michael Ironside could kick Chris Klein's ass any day. Ditto William Forsythe and Warren Oates (if he were still alive).

They could also probably steal away Klein's girl, unless she's one of those metrosexual-loving losers who dig guys who can't grow a beard.

Not incidentally: has anyone ever seen Chris Klein in the same place at the same time?

Posted by: ChicagoGuy on December 9, 2005 03:19 PM

Correction:

"Has anyone ever seen Chris Klein and KEANAU REEVES in the same place at the same time?"

Posted by: ChicagoGuy on December 9, 2005 03:20 PM

Another guy, and old (old!) pictures, but he rolls like Chris K.

Football; Jazz choir

Posted by: SarahW on December 9, 2005 03:27 PM

Interesting Fact about Life of Ace:

Brokeback Mountain is actually based on the relationship between Ace and Chris Kleinn.

Posted by: Joe L. on December 9, 2005 04:49 PM

I doubt Ace has even ridden a horse let alone Chris Klein.

Posted by: on December 9, 2005 05:23 PM

Sayeth Ace: Thanks to Allah.

Something just sounds wrong with that. I almost expect an "Allahu akbar!" after it.

Posted by: Muslihoon on December 9, 2005 05:49 PM

Just heard a review of Brokeback Mtn. It's not about cowboys. They are tending sheep. They are sheep boys.

Posted by: on December 9, 2005 05:53 PM

Yeah, the "jazz choir" thing got my attention too.
"Jazz choir"?

Yeah, because (jazz) choir chicks are so HOT!

(channelling Oz from American Pie)

Posted by: cheshirecat on December 9, 2005 10:17 PM

Lindley Gardner is beautiful why is she with this guy?

Posted by: m on December 12, 2005 07:08 PM