Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Better-Than-Expected 215,000 Jobs Created In November | Main | Best of the Cool Facts About Dick Cheney »
December 02, 2005

Decisions, Decisions

What should I ask of Santa Claus for Christmas?

1) "The Ultimate Star Trek Collection," a 212-disc set that boldly goes where no Trekkie DVD collection has gone before, assembling 10 feature films and every episode from all five broadcast series, plus hours of interviews and rare footage, a bargain priced at under $2,499.

or

2) a life.

I want the life, but I need the Trek.


posted by Ace at 12:02 PM
Comments



1000th execution since 1977? Shouldn't the guy have got a prize or something?

Randy

Posted by: Randy on December 2, 2005 12:09 PM

Maybe you should ask Santa Claus to add an extra "e" to the end of his name, since you seem to fond of spelling it that way regardless.

Posted by: Jeff B. on December 2, 2005 12:12 PM

Ask him for the ability to spell "Santa Claus".

Posted by: Allah on December 2, 2005 12:12 PM

"I need the Trek" - which is why you don't have a life.

Posted by: max on December 2, 2005 12:17 PM

Ha. Even the omnipotent Allah takes a backseat when it comes to the spelling & grammar pedanticism of Jeff B.

Posted by: Jeff B. on December 2, 2005 12:17 PM

Ace,

Don't let these spelling nazis get you down. Everyone knows that in recent years Santa has toughened up by spelling his last name "Claws".

The intimidating power of his new name is the only way he can keep Dick Cheney from stealing his sleign and raping Rudolph.

Posted by: Jack M. on December 2, 2005 01:23 PM

Don't let these spelling nazis get you down

stealing his sleign

What's a sleign?

Posted by: Spelling Nazi on December 2, 2005 01:24 PM

What kind of a Geek are you, Ace? The so-called "Ultimate" collection doesn't even include the Animated Series.

Free Arex and M'ress!

Posted by: Eric J on December 2, 2005 01:31 PM

Ace: buddy don't be posting things like this. Now my Christmas budget is all blown to hell. I had everything put aside in my chirstmas present saving account and now I'm short $2,499. The only thing to do is start my own blog and get some of the obscene blog money profits like you have. I figure three days of posting naked testicle man pictures would get my traffic up enough to pay the bill.

Posted by: john on December 2, 2005 01:35 PM

A life might get you laid.

Several thousand dollars of Trek... won't.

'nuff said.

Posted by: DaveP. on December 2, 2005 02:39 PM

A life might get you laid.

Several thousand dollars (more carefully spent) will.

Posted by: Phinn on December 2, 2005 02:51 PM

A life might get you laid.
Several thousand dollars (more carefully spent) will.

In Tijuana 10 hookers and a cougar would only set him back about $47.

Posted by: scott on December 2, 2005 02:58 PM

Don't you have to pay a deposit on the cougar?

(And, let's face it, they're never going to refund your deposit when you bring it back in that condition.)

Posted by: Phinn on December 2, 2005 03:11 PM

In Tijuana, the odds are that every one of those 10 hookers formerly had first names ending with the letter "O."

Posted by: Rob@L&R on December 2, 2005 03:20 PM

Mastercard covers the Cougar, its like car rental insurance.

Posted by: scott on December 2, 2005 03:42 PM

Here's something that won't get you laid:

We All Got Aids

Posted by: on December 2, 2005 04:19 PM

VISA

...because Mexican whore-cougars don't take American Express.

Posted by: DaveP. on December 2, 2005 04:35 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove
Chris
@chriswithans

aaahahaa.jpg


"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!
Recent Comments
Tonypete: "That pink mother of the bride dress looks like PJs ..."

mindful webworker -thou shalt: "Commandment: Honor your father and your mother. ..."

TecumsehTea: "Not first. ..."

Tonypete: "Good evening good people. ..."

mindful webworker - beagles, barkers, and beasties: "Amusing every year to see Ma Barker. Fans of $c ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "Several states are trying to ban Glocks. Today I s ..."

Hour of the Wolf: ">> I told my mom about my AR and she laughed. M ..."

Itinerant Alley Butcher: "I told my mom about my AR and she laughed. I am no ..."

Bond in Michigan: "131 "Haven't checked either end of this situation, ..."

GWB: ".32 ACP may not be the best carry choice today, bu ..."

Going deep. Out. : "Iran: We will decisively if the WH will let the JC ..."

John: "I went on a Scotch distillery trek in Scotland. Wh ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives