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November 30, 2005

Jeneane Garofalo: Republicans Are "Angry"

One of the only good jokes she's gotten off since the Ben Stiller show was cancelled.

posted by Ace at 01:43 PM

Comments

Maybe it's just the fact that her "Al Franken Head "shaped butt plug no longer has that nice snug fit. But that's just my take.

Posted by: Cowtipper on November 30, 2005 02:02 PM

God, comments like that make me want to drive my car up on a curve in an attempt to run her and her fans over.

Posted by: joeindc44 on November 30, 2005 02:13 PM

Reublicans are angry?

Garafalo should listen herself and her friends on Air America. They all sound like they are on the verge of blowing a gasket.

Posted by: Bart on November 30, 2005 02:19 PM

I used to think she was kind of cute, in a chain-smoking bad-girl kind of way. Now she's just an angry skank who looks like she hasn't washed her hair in about two months. It's a pity -- if only she'd clean up, comb her hair, and wear a dress, and keep her yap shut....well, as long as I'm dreaming, I'd also like a million dollars.

Posted by: Monty on November 30, 2005 02:20 PM

Malkin's right. It's classic projection combined with 'still stuck in 1997'.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 30, 2005 02:35 PM

Jeneane Garofalo is a bitchy, unattractive woman who has made a fortune in Hollywood by bitching that unattractive women can't make money in Hollywood.

Posted by: V the K on November 30, 2005 02:37 PM

Does anyone remember when she used to be kinda cute and funny? Sadly, I do.

Posted by: physics geek on November 30, 2005 02:37 PM

Hell, yes, Republicans are angry, Janeane. What's your point?

Posted by: Brian B on November 30, 2005 02:39 PM

Janeane used to be sort of attractive, in a dumpy kinda way, and she had a pretty quick wit. In mulling over the question, "What the hell went wrong with her?" I finally realized the time when she was entertaining coincided exactly with the Clinton Administration. Apparently getting a Rethuglican in the White House drove her right over the edge, just like a lot of other Hollywood moonbats.

So, if Bush&Co continue to screw up and we get Hillary or some other doofus in the White House in 2007, then at least Garofolo and her ilk will perk the f^ck up, and we'll have a few years of quality entertainment before the arrival of our jihadi overlords. You know, just like SNL was at its best when Carter was in the White House. Good times, man.

Posted by: utron on November 30, 2005 02:40 PM

I only remember her as the obese slut in Reality Bites.

Also, she only had one joke (that was good) in her career, its the one where she made fun of every movie preview ever by imitating them, saying "In a world..."

Posted by: joeindc44 on November 30, 2005 02:44 PM

In the early '90's (maybe late '80's) she did stand-up in a show called "The MTV Half-Hour Comedy Hour" (an assortment of quick clips from various stand-up comics) and she was good enough that I made a point to remember her name.

The one joke I still remember from the MTV show:
Janeane orders her salad dressing.
Waitress: Thousand what?
Janeane: A thousand tablespoons of Roquefort, you moron!

Posted by: Guy T. on November 30, 2005 03:08 PM

Maybe the first time she's gotten off at all since 1987 I'm thinking....

*looks around* WHO SAID THAT??????

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on November 30, 2005 03:21 PM

Well, I think you guys are a little hard on Jennine. I've always been attracted to skanky, dumpy, mouthy broads who seem bitter and angry.

No, wait. That's not true.

Posted by: fugazi on November 30, 2005 04:01 PM

Tell me you didn't say that, RWS.

Posted by: OregonMuse on November 30, 2005 04:06 PM

*turns to look at RWS with head turned sideways, like a dog listening to a high-pitched sound*

Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 30, 2005 04:25 PM

I'm in a mood.

No sudden moves and everything will be fine.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on November 30, 2005 04:34 PM

*backs away slowly, nodding over toward the box of Godiva chocolates*

Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 30, 2005 04:40 PM

Look, I don't like chocolates, I don 't like shopping either! I don't like girl lunches. I don't like reading People magazine or watching Oprah or stupid soap operas (day or night ones)

I'm not like most women. YOU GOT THAT? Stop sterotyping!!!

I believe the growing nerd in me is winning.

;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on November 30, 2005 05:24 PM

truthfully, there really isn't anything I could have said that would have kept you from going off on me. be honest. I should have just kept my damn mouth shut, right?

*hides the People magazine, turns off the tv, tosses Christmas catalogs behind the sofa*

Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 30, 2005 05:43 PM

Well, saying "my God you're a beautiful woman when your angry" usually works.

;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on November 30, 2005 05:45 PM

I was just thinking that. Well that, and how close is she to a firearm?

Posted by: Dave in Texas on November 30, 2005 05:52 PM

"Don't like chocolate"?!

She's a pod person, folks. Any moment now she's gonna grab Texas Dave's arm and start doing that foghorn thing like Don Sutherland did...

BTT: has anyone noticed that Janeane's humor deficit coincides exactly with her newfound sobreity? She stopped drinking and thought that since she was sober, she was therefore worth taking seriously...

Posted by: DaveP. on November 30, 2005 07:12 PM

I am so not pod.

Your comment reminds me of a country song "You Aint Much Fun Since I Quit Drinking."

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on November 30, 2005 07:20 PM

Whenever I think of Janeane Garofalo, I think of what Bill Whittle said about her in his piece titled "Sanctuary"...

"Seeing Janeane Garofolo in the flesh induces a sort of slack-jawed awe. One must go back all the way to Vanilla Ice to witness so much attitude in front of so little talent."

Posted by: guyfromtexas on November 30, 2005 09:36 PM

Just joking, RWS. Hope I could at least make you smile... or at least not put one of those big green pods under my bed, please?

As far as JayGar goes... if some people were never meant to try standup or screen comedy, some were never meant to take themselves seriously- or ask that anyone else do so either. I remember JayGar in "The Truth About Cats and Dogs", and she was good- funny, sensitive, smart; I even thought she was attractive in a 'girl you meet in a coffee shop' kind of way. I see her now and I've got to wonder what the hell happened to her.

Posted by: DaveP. on December 1, 2005 01:12 AM

She should have listened to her Mom. "Don't look so hateful, your face will freeze like that!"

Posted by: jmon on December 1, 2005 04:12 AM

blabber blabber blabber how much more of this old hens mindless clucking do we have to listen to?

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 1, 2005 04:57 PM

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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

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