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« Another Grim Milestone: 300 Towns In France Burn | Main | Gay Cowboys Eating Pudding »
November 07, 2005

Australia Announces Major Terrorist Attack Foiled In Order To Distract From Plamegate

Karl Rove-- worth every dime they're paying him.

- Australian authorities believe they have foiled a major terrorist attack, arresting 15 people on Tuesday during raids in the country's two biggest cities of Sydney and Melbourne.

The arrests come less than a week after Prime Minster John Howard said Australia received intelligence about a "terrorist threat."

Note the quotes around "terrorist threat." The same way you'd put quotes around "pink unicorn."

"We believe ... we've disrupted a large-scale operation which, had it been allowed to go through to fruition, we certainly believe would have been catastrophic," New South Wales Police Commissioner Ken Moroney told Australian television.

Australia

Arresting innocent-as-lambs "political dissidents" on "twisted intelligence" in order to "distract from" Bush's troubles and focus attention on a "fictitious threat."

Good on ya, mates!

In related news, the oligarchical ownership of the NFL has announced it will "arrange as many fake cheerleader-lesbian-sex scandals as necessary" to support Bush.

"Let's face it, these 'cheerleaders' are just whores in more-garish outfits," an unnamed NFL official said. "Pretty much we can get them to do anything. We usually pay them in Cheeze Whiz, so eight buck fitty cent goes a long way with them."


posted by Ace at 06:48 PM
Comments



You mean we can expect more lesbian cheerleader scandals? Right on!

Posted by: chip on November 7, 2005 07:00 PM

Faster, please.

Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 7, 2005 07:01 PM

Next time - Charger girls, please.

Posted by: Josh on November 7, 2005 07:21 PM

Yeh, what the heck's wrong with a couple of ladies providing pleasure to one another. It's not like they robbed a bank or something or forgot to wash their hands after pottying. I'm just going to say it out loud. This shit happens all the time between the girls or at least some of them. Anyone spending time in the bars instead of teething a valu-rite bottle nipple at home has seen a progression of single-gender sexual behavior among our women folk over the past 10 years. Women deep tongue one another pretty regularly when they're drunk (or not). A couple of the women folk I know swear it all starts in middle school with the practice kissing and goes from there. They don't have to worry about getting preggers and still get the pleasure. They don't see themselves as lesbians since they still prefer Mr. Stiffy and the hetero man-woman bonding. It's just a fill-in until they've gotten their shit together or a man. Ten years ago the sight of women tonguing was intriguing. No longer. Of course, they could be lesbians, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Laddy on November 7, 2005 07:31 PM

in the above: "single gender" should be "same gender"

Posted by: Laddy on November 7, 2005 07:33 PM

Will the new cheerleader scandals be investigated in more 'detail' than the current affair. ?

Will there be for example, video or some such other repugnant demonstration available for the public? Not that I would be at all interested in such things mind you ,but the public has a 'right to know', and I would not want to stand in their way.

Posted by: dougf on November 7, 2005 07:34 PM

I question the cheerleaders' timing.

Posted by: Howard Dean on November 7, 2005 07:44 PM

I suggest Congress intitate hearings on this cheerleader debacle. Won't someone please think of the children?!

Posted by: brak on November 7, 2005 08:32 PM

They don't see themselves as lesbians since they still prefer Mr. Stiffy and the hetero man-woman bonding. It's just a fill-in until they've gotten their shit together or a man.

If you're serious, you really need to stop watching porno.

Posted by: Sue Dohnim on November 7, 2005 08:35 PM

If the Equal Rights Amendment had been ratified, maybe guys could have demanded viewing galleries in the uni-sex bathrooms.

Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 7, 2005 08:41 PM

Ten years ago the sight of women tonguing was intriguing. No longer

***

Your in denial. These aren't just women. This is Sheena doing Barbarella.

I blame the NFL for this atrocity. Their byzantine rule prohibiting the players from dating the cheerleaders has forced these poor lases to find the only release available to them.

Think about it. In high school cheerleaders did not date guys in the band or, ahem, those ruffle and tumble D&D mad men. No. The proper order of the universe is football stud/cheerleader. When you screw with the laws of nature you get anarchy, and hot steaming cheerleader on cheerleader action.

I like it
I love it
I want more of it

Posted by: JackStraw on November 7, 2005 09:01 PM

When you screw with the laws of nature you get anarchy, and hot steaming cheerleader on cheerleader action.

But not in a really gay way. Like Vikings cheerleaders.

Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 8, 2005 12:53 AM

Yup, just verified w/ my male friends that Viking Cheerleaders suck. Apparently they are all innocent and wholesome.

Posted by: spurringirl on November 8, 2005 10:41 AM
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This isn't Christmas Eve fare, and I thought about waiting until the 26th to post it, but supposedly an amateur detective has solved the Zodiac killer mystery. And the horrific Black Dahlia killing. He says it's the same person! I always thought of them as very far apart in time but I think Black Dahlia was mid-fifties (nope, 1947) mid and the Zodiac murders began in 1968 so it's possible it's the same killer.

The killer, if it's the same man, would have been in his 20s when he killed the Black Dahlia and his 40s when he did the Zodiac murders. Possible.

A little caveat: I saw someone snark on Reddit, "The Zodiac case gets solved more often than Wordle." There are a ton of coincidences here, supposedly, like a Zodiac cipher being solved by the name "Elizabeth." Elizabeth Short was the name of the so-called Black Dahlia.

If you don't know about the Black Dahlia, don't look it up. Just accept that it's grisly on the level of Jack the Ripper.

Yes, the named suspect resembles the police sketch of Zodiac.

Here's a podcast with the amateur sleuth who claims he cracked the Zodiac.
Daily Mail article.
Link to get around the LA Times' paywall for their article.
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It's not just a "death sentence," as he says, but a rapidly coming one. I hope he can put his affairs in order and make sure his family is in a good as a position as they can be.
Brown killer takes the coward's way out. Naturally.
Still not identified, for some reason.
Per Fox 25 Boston, the killer was a non-citizen permanent legal resident
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As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller."
She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
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More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2:
Remember the bamboo from Part 1?

Do I ever! It's all I remember!
Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy.

We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations.
I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said.

A few blocks uptown, at a branch of the local independent chain McNally Jackson Books, a few volumes lay on a table of new and noteworthy nonfiction near the front of the store. No one was lining up to get them, or even browsing. Bookseller Alex Howe told CNN around 3 p.m. that though the store had procured "several dozen" copies, not a single one had yet sold -- a figure he said was surprising, considering how many people in media and publishing work in the area.

"We ordered a lot and so far, people have not been beating down the door," Howe said. "I'm not sure where we're gonna put them because right now, supply is outpacing demand." (A manager at McNally Jackson noted that Howe was speaking only in a personal capacity, not as a representative of the store.)

She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
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