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« Another Grim Milestone: 300 Towns In France Burn | Main | Gay Cowboys Eating Pudding »
November 07, 2005

Australia Announces Major Terrorist Attack Foiled In Order To Distract From Plamegate

Karl Rove-- worth every dime they're paying him.

- Australian authorities believe they have foiled a major terrorist attack, arresting 15 people on Tuesday during raids in the country's two biggest cities of Sydney and Melbourne.

The arrests come less than a week after Prime Minster John Howard said Australia received intelligence about a "terrorist threat."

Note the quotes around "terrorist threat." The same way you'd put quotes around "pink unicorn."

"We believe ... we've disrupted a large-scale operation which, had it been allowed to go through to fruition, we certainly believe would have been catastrophic," New South Wales Police Commissioner Ken Moroney told Australian television.

Australia

Arresting innocent-as-lambs "political dissidents" on "twisted intelligence" in order to "distract from" Bush's troubles and focus attention on a "fictitious threat."

Good on ya, mates!

In related news, the oligarchical ownership of the NFL has announced it will "arrange as many fake cheerleader-lesbian-sex scandals as necessary" to support Bush.

"Let's face it, these 'cheerleaders' are just whores in more-garish outfits," an unnamed NFL official said. "Pretty much we can get them to do anything. We usually pay them in Cheeze Whiz, so eight buck fitty cent goes a long way with them."


posted by Ace at 06:48 PM
Comments



You mean we can expect more lesbian cheerleader scandals? Right on!

Posted by: chip on November 7, 2005 07:00 PM

Faster, please.

Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 7, 2005 07:01 PM

Next time - Charger girls, please.

Posted by: Josh on November 7, 2005 07:21 PM

Yeh, what the heck's wrong with a couple of ladies providing pleasure to one another. It's not like they robbed a bank or something or forgot to wash their hands after pottying. I'm just going to say it out loud. This shit happens all the time between the girls or at least some of them. Anyone spending time in the bars instead of teething a valu-rite bottle nipple at home has seen a progression of single-gender sexual behavior among our women folk over the past 10 years. Women deep tongue one another pretty regularly when they're drunk (or not). A couple of the women folk I know swear it all starts in middle school with the practice kissing and goes from there. They don't have to worry about getting preggers and still get the pleasure. They don't see themselves as lesbians since they still prefer Mr. Stiffy and the hetero man-woman bonding. It's just a fill-in until they've gotten their shit together or a man. Ten years ago the sight of women tonguing was intriguing. No longer. Of course, they could be lesbians, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Laddy on November 7, 2005 07:31 PM

in the above: "single gender" should be "same gender"

Posted by: Laddy on November 7, 2005 07:33 PM

Will the new cheerleader scandals be investigated in more 'detail' than the current affair. ?

Will there be for example, video or some such other repugnant demonstration available for the public? Not that I would be at all interested in such things mind you ,but the public has a 'right to know', and I would not want to stand in their way.

Posted by: dougf on November 7, 2005 07:34 PM

I question the cheerleaders' timing.

Posted by: Howard Dean on November 7, 2005 07:44 PM

I suggest Congress intitate hearings on this cheerleader debacle. Won't someone please think of the children?!

Posted by: brak on November 7, 2005 08:32 PM

They don't see themselves as lesbians since they still prefer Mr. Stiffy and the hetero man-woman bonding. It's just a fill-in until they've gotten their shit together or a man.

If you're serious, you really need to stop watching porno.

Posted by: Sue Dohnim on November 7, 2005 08:35 PM

If the Equal Rights Amendment had been ratified, maybe guys could have demanded viewing galleries in the uni-sex bathrooms.

Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 7, 2005 08:41 PM

Ten years ago the sight of women tonguing was intriguing. No longer

***

Your in denial. These aren't just women. This is Sheena doing Barbarella.

I blame the NFL for this atrocity. Their byzantine rule prohibiting the players from dating the cheerleaders has forced these poor lases to find the only release available to them.

Think about it. In high school cheerleaders did not date guys in the band or, ahem, those ruffle and tumble D&D mad men. No. The proper order of the universe is football stud/cheerleader. When you screw with the laws of nature you get anarchy, and hot steaming cheerleader on cheerleader action.

I like it
I love it
I want more of it

Posted by: JackStraw on November 7, 2005 09:01 PM

When you screw with the laws of nature you get anarchy, and hot steaming cheerleader on cheerleader action.

But not in a really gay way. Like Vikings cheerleaders.

Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 8, 2005 12:53 AM

Yup, just verified w/ my male friends that Viking Cheerleaders suck. Apparently they are all innocent and wholesome.

Posted by: spurringirl on November 8, 2005 10:41 AM
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From Archimedes: Democrats are really now arguing that it's time to open the Big Tent to Nazis:
At Insty:

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Senator Martin Heinrich of New Mexico said, "Graham has made a lot of mistakes in his life. He's had a very long journey to the place where he is today, but he's owned those mistakes, owned up to them, and he's evolved." Khanna called the tattoo "horrendous," but said: "Do we want our political governing class to be like the classmates I had at Yale Law School, some of them who dreamed of being president of the United States from the age of twelve?" He continued, "Or do we want normal people also having a chance at these offices?"

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