Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Captain Whitebread 2026
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Another Grim Milestone: 300 Towns In France Burn | Main | Gay Cowboys Eating Pudding »
November 07, 2005

Australia Announces Major Terrorist Attack Foiled In Order To Distract From Plamegate

Karl Rove-- worth every dime they're paying him.

- Australian authorities believe they have foiled a major terrorist attack, arresting 15 people on Tuesday during raids in the country's two biggest cities of Sydney and Melbourne.

The arrests come less than a week after Prime Minster John Howard said Australia received intelligence about a "terrorist threat."

Note the quotes around "terrorist threat." The same way you'd put quotes around "pink unicorn."

"We believe ... we've disrupted a large-scale operation which, had it been allowed to go through to fruition, we certainly believe would have been catastrophic," New South Wales Police Commissioner Ken Moroney told Australian television.

Australia

Arresting innocent-as-lambs "political dissidents" on "twisted intelligence" in order to "distract from" Bush's troubles and focus attention on a "fictitious threat."

Good on ya, mates!

In related news, the oligarchical ownership of the NFL has announced it will "arrange as many fake cheerleader-lesbian-sex scandals as necessary" to support Bush.

"Let's face it, these 'cheerleaders' are just whores in more-garish outfits," an unnamed NFL official said. "Pretty much we can get them to do anything. We usually pay them in Cheeze Whiz, so eight buck fitty cent goes a long way with them."


posted by Ace at 06:48 PM
Comments



You mean we can expect more lesbian cheerleader scandals? Right on!

Posted by: chip on November 7, 2005 07:00 PM

Faster, please.

Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 7, 2005 07:01 PM

Next time - Charger girls, please.

Posted by: Josh on November 7, 2005 07:21 PM

Yeh, what the heck's wrong with a couple of ladies providing pleasure to one another. It's not like they robbed a bank or something or forgot to wash their hands after pottying. I'm just going to say it out loud. This shit happens all the time between the girls or at least some of them. Anyone spending time in the bars instead of teething a valu-rite bottle nipple at home has seen a progression of single-gender sexual behavior among our women folk over the past 10 years. Women deep tongue one another pretty regularly when they're drunk (or not). A couple of the women folk I know swear it all starts in middle school with the practice kissing and goes from there. They don't have to worry about getting preggers and still get the pleasure. They don't see themselves as lesbians since they still prefer Mr. Stiffy and the hetero man-woman bonding. It's just a fill-in until they've gotten their shit together or a man. Ten years ago the sight of women tonguing was intriguing. No longer. Of course, they could be lesbians, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Laddy on November 7, 2005 07:31 PM

in the above: "single gender" should be "same gender"

Posted by: Laddy on November 7, 2005 07:33 PM

Will the new cheerleader scandals be investigated in more 'detail' than the current affair. ?

Will there be for example, video or some such other repugnant demonstration available for the public? Not that I would be at all interested in such things mind you ,but the public has a 'right to know', and I would not want to stand in their way.

Posted by: dougf on November 7, 2005 07:34 PM

I question the cheerleaders' timing.

Posted by: Howard Dean on November 7, 2005 07:44 PM

I suggest Congress intitate hearings on this cheerleader debacle. Won't someone please think of the children?!

Posted by: brak on November 7, 2005 08:32 PM

They don't see themselves as lesbians since they still prefer Mr. Stiffy and the hetero man-woman bonding. It's just a fill-in until they've gotten their shit together or a man.

If you're serious, you really need to stop watching porno.

Posted by: Sue Dohnim on November 7, 2005 08:35 PM

If the Equal Rights Amendment had been ratified, maybe guys could have demanded viewing galleries in the uni-sex bathrooms.

Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 7, 2005 08:41 PM

Ten years ago the sight of women tonguing was intriguing. No longer

***

Your in denial. These aren't just women. This is Sheena doing Barbarella.

I blame the NFL for this atrocity. Their byzantine rule prohibiting the players from dating the cheerleaders has forced these poor lases to find the only release available to them.

Think about it. In high school cheerleaders did not date guys in the band or, ahem, those ruffle and tumble D&D mad men. No. The proper order of the universe is football stud/cheerleader. When you screw with the laws of nature you get anarchy, and hot steaming cheerleader on cheerleader action.

I like it
I love it
I want more of it

Posted by: JackStraw on November 7, 2005 09:01 PM

When you screw with the laws of nature you get anarchy, and hot steaming cheerleader on cheerleader action.

But not in a really gay way. Like Vikings cheerleaders.

Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 8, 2005 12:53 AM

Yup, just verified w/ my male friends that Viking Cheerleaders suck. Apparently they are all innocent and wholesome.

Posted by: spurringirl on November 8, 2005 10:41 AM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove
Chris
@chriswithans

aaahahaa.jpg


"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!
Recent Comments
Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b] [/s]: "I think RAH published "By His Bootstraps," a 1940s ..."

Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions: "Another guy who puts his sex fetishes into his nov ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo [/b] [/i]: "172 I think Heinlein was trying to be jarring. I'm ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo [/b] [/i]: "Jack L. Chalker has a particularly weird form of t ..."

Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions: "I think Heinlein was trying to be jarring. I'm sti ..."

"Perfessor" Squirrel: "Weis and Hickman with the Dragonlace world was bri ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo [/b] [/i]: "time travel is also impossible, logically so. So h ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo [/b] [/i]: "163 Well, in a moment. I love world building in ..."

Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b] [/s]: "[i]26 -- Wolf -- The Star Trek writers' guide spec ..."

Tom Servo: "Avatar got its world from a Yes album cover. ..."

Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b] [/s]: "[i]Jack L. Chalker has a particularly weird form o ..."

Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions: "The Avatar movies do a bang up job at world buildi ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives