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| This Just In: Lanky Black Dudes Are Kinda Speedy »
November 04, 2005
Al Franken: Racist112 employees over the years and only one of them was black? And I bet he wasn't even a "real black," either, but some sort of step-n-fetchit Simple Sambo like Lieutenant Governor of Maryland Michael Steele. So, really, that's about one quarter of a real black. Meaning that Al Franken's black-hire rate is 1 out of 448, or just above 0.02%. Jesus, I bet the Klan has a better black-outreach program than that. The Klan must hire a few blacks, at least for ringers for its touch-football games against the Aryan Nation. (Oh, wait, it's racist to note that lithe black guys make really fast cornerbacks.) Oh, and here's the kicker: he's suing the author of a book for revealing this. He's not claiming it's false, mind you; he seems to be making some sort of invasion-of-privacy beef. Al Franken Black folks just don't have the "necessities" to serve as his employees. Thanks to Right Wing Howler. Speaking of Cornerbacks... I'm a big fan of football jokes. (Which is weird, because I hate jokes per se. I guess I mean I like football witicisms.) My favorite is about Jerome Bettis: "When you need one yard, he'll get you three. And when you need five yards... he'll get you three." No offense to the Bus, and yeah, I know he breaks it for 12 or 15 every once in a while. But the basics of the joke are true. He's a dependable three yards. But I heard one a couple of weeks ago, after a cornerback let an easy interception go right through his hands. "Well," the color man noted, "like they say, 'If he could catch, he'd be a receiever.'" Great Al Franken Joke: I mean, it's about Al Franken. Al Franken himself has precious few jokes. At some roast, someone said: "Al Franken is to comedy what Albert Einstein... is to comedy." Pretty much sums it up. posted by Ace at 03:49 PM
CommentsHey, come on. Be nice to Al. After the dems lost the election last year, he didn't cry on camera and for that I am truly grateful. Posted by: on November 4, 2005 04:56 PM
Franken is a vile dwarf. Posted by: rk on November 4, 2005 05:06 PM
Al resists hiring blacks 'cause he sees himself (and only himself) as the true Soul Man. Shudder! Posted by: Nickie Goomba on November 4, 2005 05:15 PM
I take umbrage at that roast comment. Actually, Albert Einstein is a pretty funny guy. Posted by: utron on November 4, 2005 05:18 PM
The left believes that black people are for show but only white people can make an organization go. Conservatives believe black people are people. Posted by: Jake on November 4, 2005 07:13 PM
Al Franken is a good man........... He don't beat his negroes. Posted by: sqlserver on November 4, 2005 07:46 PM
Mr Franken don't have no uppity negroes like His negroes know their place. Posted by: sqlserver on November 4, 2005 08:05 PM
I think that Albert Einstein's progeny have a cause of action for slander (or libel). Posted by: Matt on November 4, 2005 08:14 PM
And by the way me and Andy R. are not racist because Posted by: sqlserver on November 4, 2005 08:31 PM
Will AL SHARPTON and JESSIE JACKASSON as well as the NAACP be demanding a appology from freaky franken? will they be demanding he resign? dont expect it since freaky franken is a liberal Posted by: spurwing plover on November 4, 2005 09:05 PM
Actually, Albert Einstein is a pretty funny guy. Actually, I don't find Albert Einstein to be funny at all. You may find a slowly rotting corpse funny, but then there's no accounting for taste. On the other hand though, I will agree that even in his advanced state of decomposition, Einstein is still funnier than Franken. Posted by: kbiel on November 4, 2005 09:29 PM
"Will AL SHARPTON and JESSIE JACKASSON as well as the NAACP be demanding a appology from freaky franken? will they be demanding he resign? dont expect it since freaky franken is a liberal" How clever of you Spurwing to answer your own question. Posted by: JannyMae on November 4, 2005 09:46 PM
As the buck-toothed moron himself would probably say, "You're a big fat lying liar doodyhead!" So there. Posted by: zetetic on November 4, 2005 10:41 PM
I don't think Jesse is too particular about who he shakes down for "contributions" -- he's running a racket not a movement. The race hustling is just for show. Posted by: on November 5, 2005 09:15 AM
If he were alive today ALBERT EINSTEIN would be flunked becuase he got all the answers right Posted by: spurwing plover on November 5, 2005 11:14 PM
Whydya always gotta attack JOOOOOOS like Franken, buddy? Whyncha attack sombody other than JOOOOOOOOOOS, OK? Its always JOOOOOOS, JOOOOOOOOS, JOOOOOOOOOOS with you guys. Ain't there any shiksas in that book you could trash? Any shgotzim? Any goyim at all? Any Amalekites? Any Canaanites? Any shvartzes? Just JOOOOOOOS like Franken? Thats all you got in that book, JOOOOOOOS? Well, I think you are A JOOOOOOO-hater -- an anti-semite, that's what you are. Posted by: Big Bill on November 6, 2005 10:53 PM
Oh, and here's the kicker: he's suing the author of a book for revealing this. He's not claiming it's false, mind you; he seems to be making some sort of invasion-of-privacy beef. Where does Franken think he is, England? And who does he think he is, George Galloway? Posted by: Tongueboy on November 7, 2005 09:35 AM
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BIG NEWS UPDATE NOT FIRED from anon2020 So what, she quit? Megyn Kelly (accursed be her name) used to say all the time that Fox has a top female PR person who is a nasty pitbull and leaks nasty claims about anyone Fox is at war with, including those who have left the network. So I guess maybe she technically resigned? I don't know. NEW: @FoxNews has obtained Lindsay Clancy defense attorney Kevin Reddington's appeal filing to the MA Supreme Court, which includes Reddington accusing the lone holdout juror of being "biased" against those with "debilitating mental illness", which he says is a protected category. Thanks to Mark1971
Holiday Break: I've had a rough couple of weeks -- the shoulder is healing now and I'm finally getting decent sleep -- and I've decided to take a long weekend.
I'm taking Friday off, and then Monday off, too. I have Open Threads for both days and I will post if big news breaks, but if it doesn't -- and it probably won't, news is slow before a holiday weekend -- I'm going to take a four day weekend.
Sh0eOnHead discusses the Psychotic Cult of Lindsay
Real quotes: "This case has me feeling like I'm on Law & Order with you guys!" "We literally binge true crime as a hobby, we've been trained for this moment" Worth the watch. If you haven't seen the genuinely upsetting insanity motivating thousands of women, you should watch this just to see how society is crumbling. Ban TikTok, Trump. I don't care if Barron tells you it's popular with the yutes. It is an evil Communist China op and it is driving women insane.
Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene
As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton? I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either.
Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
RIP and Roll Out!
TJM discusses the career of Mel Brooks and why High Anxiety just isn't as good as Young Frankentsein
Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday
Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath.
1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show. She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference. Recent Comments
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Martini Farmer: "> Not satire: Lindsay Clancy's lawyer asks Preside ..." Miklos been at this since this TJM could get of his underoos without help: "Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering *counte ..." Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "[i] Me too, but they have to go after Trump Post ..." rickb223 [/b][/s][/u][/i]: "Everyone loses. Except murderers. THEY seem to win ..." It's me donna : " I'd actually look at is as him avoiding the kill ..." Anna Puma: "Tampon Timmy's daughter has the IQ of a walnut. Th ..." Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "[i]So now we have 9/11 gate ? Trump isn't attendin ..." jim (in Kalifornia): "458 Commie Chicken Pol-Pot Pie... One hour late ..." TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films: " 457 Lindsay Clancy's defense attorney just asked ..." Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "[i]Tim Walz’s daughter calls it “a rac ..." Anna Puma: "[i]Commie Chicken Pol-Pot Pie...[/i] One hour l ..." Bloggers in Arms
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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