Excuse me, but are you the poster with the big jugs?

Anon:

a) You're thinking of bbeck. Laura W. is every bit as lovely, although a bit more demure. (Her kung-fu skills and savagely jealous husband prohibit further up-close perusal.)

b) People who post anonymously are cowardly pukes. This goes double when speaking of the physical attributes of gentle ladies with whom you are not acquainted.

c) The U. N. is a complete clown-rodeo. I pray for the day it gets moved to a garden-spot like Angola or Nigeria.

So, you are saying you are personally acquainted with bbecks's jugs therefore it's okay for you to go on ad nauseam about them in 100 posts threads?

Anyway you dumb puke, I was just trying to distinguish Ace from laura.

Anon:

1) Ace is easily distinguishable from everyone else here. Ace has a hairy back and runs like a girl.
b) Think of a poster-name, you lazy dope.

iii) What happened to John Bolton? I thought he went to the UN to crack heads and verbally abuse them.

Ace has huge jugs and it is the only way to tell him and laura apart.

Well done, ass.

They're real, and they're spectacular.

They're also covered in thickish man-hair. Best of both worlds, as they say.

Ace has huge jugs and it is the only way to tell him and laura apart.

And you have no chance to score with either of them, so give it up before you lose all of your dignity.

Man, what's with the anger floating round? Can't we put aside petty differences and let the juggs do their work - bring mankind together?

It's ironic, really. Sometimes, I think we're looking past the innocent whole point of big juggs - how they're always there, comforting us in time of tumult. Have we forgotten? Have we lost the most decent part of ourselves, our unifier? Our big jugg lovin?

Anyway you dumb puke, I was just trying to distinguish Ace from laura.

Bart, does that count as an "I am rubber, you are glue" comeback? See, he used essentially the same insult I threw at him. Can I get a ruling?

Anon: if the ruling comes back in my favor, that's a mandatory shot to the nuts. I wish it could be different, but it's one of the AoS bylaws. My hands are tied.

Oh, you big dumb lovable lugs.

Don't you know there's a war going on?

lauraw:

Jeez! I stand up for your maidenly honor and I get only grief! Very well, milady. I will strive to project the love and brotherhood that AoS HQ is known for.

Anon definitley lacks originality. Which leads to me believe he is either:
1) Kofi Annan
2) Ace
or,
3) the Adrienne Barbeau-bot.

Monty will always be Fonzie to me.

Does anybody care about the story?
No? Eh?

Burned out on news?

Maybe we're within 24 hours of needing a flame thread.

Reo Symes,

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow.

General,

As far as distinguishing Ace from the other posters, one might refer to the "Posted by . . . " at the bottom of each post. Or is that cheating?

Can't we put aside petty differences and let the juggs do their work - bring mankind together?

Juggs for peace?

Anon: if the ruling comes back in my favor, that's a mandatory shot to the nuts. I wish it could be different, but it's one of the AoS bylaws. My hands are tied.

And if it is in my favor, it's to The Naked Testicle Spidyman's nuts and you can't wear gloves.

Monty,

Earlier someone said they couldn't tell Laura and I apart, and I said "I'm the one with the big jugs."

The anonymous guy was playing on that joke.

Although, yeah, without explaining the context, it's generally not considered polite to ask a woman if she has big jugs.

lauraw: "Don't you know there's a war going on?"

Won't somebody please think of the children?!?

Monty will always be Fonzie to me.

Aaaayyyyyyyyy!

Does anybody care about the story?No? Eh?

I dunno, Laura. This is definitely a "dog bites man" thing at this point. "Corruption" and "UN" are synonyms to me at this point. My disgust with and disdain for the UN have pegged at the extreme end of the meter; I simply cannot muster any more outrage.

I vastly prefer calling the anonymous poster from earlier in the thread a dirty, shit-eating son of a syphilic whore. (Which should give you an answer to your last question.)

Ace:

Earlier someone said they couldn't tell Laura and I apart, and I said "I'm the one with the big jugs."

I am duly chastised. Still, I maintain my belief that posting anonymously like that leaves you open to shots -- had bart, utron, or compos posted that, I'd have known right away what the score was.

I may take shots at the dear Laura, but I will be damned, sir, if I'll stand for some anonymous rogue to do the same!

I will re-iterate: if you post insults without a name or nick, you're a fetid sack of of cat-shit.

Two things that really confuse me are:
1) Why the UN is still HQ'd in NYC
2) Why we don't protect our borders
3) Why Ace won't finish judging the damn poetry contest.
4) Why Ace hasn't gotten around to thanking the people kind enough to donate to his crappy blog.

Although, yeah, without explaining the context, it's generally not considered polite to ask a woman if she has big jugs.

I was very polite. Note, the "excuse me" I preface my question with. Anyway, I was no less polite than guys who make post after post about bbeck's breasts. After the first thousand or so , it's merely crass and boring.

I may take shots at the dear Laura, but I will be damned, sir, if I'll stand for some anonymous rogue to do the same!

I wasn't taking a shot at laura, you ninny. I was taking a shot at Ace's proud and hairy juggs.

anon:

Oh, so it's like if I said: "Excuse me, fuckface, but your putrid stink is putting me off my food." Putting excuse me in front of that statement makes all the difference!

it's generally not considered polite to ask a woman if she has big jugs.

See? You really can learn important social skills on the internet.

Maybe we're within 24 hours of needing a flame thread.

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, Oh Lord
I can feel it in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, Oh Lord, Oh Lord

Can't we all just get along? And admire the magnificent vistas that the AoS boobage collection provides us? And put a freaking name in the name box out of a sense of chivalry, if not duty?

Does anybody care about the story?

I hope not. So far, so good.

Yep, we get it now, anon. Or should I call you anonymousdildowhocan'tthinkofanameandthinksitisfunnytoaddstupidshittootherpeople'snames?

Dood, if you're going to trade insults, at least have the wherewithal to not regurgitate the insult just thrown at you.

See. Watch. You are a needle-dicked moron who still likes to play with Star Wars action figures.

Now, you think of one. But remember: it should not contain Star Wars action figures or the phrase "needle-dick."

Go ahead and try it, I know you can do it.

it's generally not considered polite to ask a woman if she has big jugs.

Sounds like someone's been reading from the same choirbook as my probation officer. Sell out.

You know what's funny? Going into anonymous commenter's comments and changing them to say other things, in an effort to encourage him to choose a stupid name. That's funny.

Unfortunately, it is not permitted. Yet.

Dave in Texas:

Okay, that was the first laugh-out-loud post I've read all day. Kudos!

it's generally not considered polite to ask a woman if she has big jugs.

See? You really can learn important social skills on the internet.

I didn't ask Ace. He volunteered.

I will re-iterate: if you post insults without a name or nick, you're a fetid sack of of cat-shit.

Well put sir. My sentiments exactly. In fact I'm willing to volunteer my considerable DHTML skilz to script a default of 'Shit Head' for an empty Name input box when the Post button is clicked. Just shoot me an Email Pixy.

Oh, so it's like if I said: "Excuse me, fuckface, but your putrid stink is putting me off my food." Putting excuse me in front of that statement makes all the difference!

I dunno. Let's try it: Excuse me, Monty -- but your putrid stink is putting me off my food, fuckface.

Yes, it makes all the difference.

I love how you guys think talking like 19th century fags is erudite politeness.

Speaking of bbeck, or as I like to call her, ddeck, has she put on that St. Pauli Girl outfit I asked for?

*Sigh*

I think I know what's going on. This dumbass troll is nothing more than a UNIX bash script.

Let's say that I define $INSULT as "ridiculous pant-shitting retard" and cast it at the anonymous dickweed.

The dickweed will then auto-respond with, "Well, you're a big fat $INSULT, so there!"

We've been wasting perfectly good flames on a fucking computer program. And a badly-written one, at that.

Laura said:
Oh, you big dumb lovable lugs.
Shouldn't that be jugs??

yeahp, Monty. Eliza in PHP.

I love how you guys think talking like 19th century fags is erudite politeness.

Once you get to high school you'll appreciate us more. I know because your mom likes it when I talk that way during sex.

I love how you guys think talking like 19th century fags is erudite politeness.

You intemperate whelp! How dare you insinuate that we are but gentle-men.

I think you might have something there with the jugs for peace. But I would perfer "Breasts for peace." That way all sizes can be involved...;-)

Anyway, I'm thinking that if those insurgents had a bit more incentive to go peacefully home, they might do it. And I can't thnk of a better incentive than breasts. I mean just mention them and you guys go all woozy.

We just have to figure out a way to get the Burkas off willingly...hmmm....

You intemperate whelp! How dare you insinuate that we are but gentle-men.

Intemperate whelp? Is that interior design lingo?

I vastly prefer calling the anonymous poster from earlier in the thread a dirty, shit-eating son of a syphilic whore. (Which should give you an answer to your last question.)

Yeahp. And though I despise Phil Collins as much as any human being can, I too feel it coming in the air tonight.

Oh Lord.

Hope tomorrow is a slow work day.

dirty, shit-eating son of a syphilic whore

Monty:

Rarely do you stumble when delivering a colorful insult, but here you have relaxed your normally high standards. The word is "syphilitic," not "syphilic."

Lauraw:

I think we need a flamewar. Remember that conversation between Fat Clemenza and Mike Corleone in The Godfather? We need a flamewar every so often to clear the bad blood. It's been too long since the last one.

But here's a twist: instead of flaming each other, let's see if we can bait some lefties into trolling here, and then we can insult them. I always feel vaguely dirty when I bust on you, my lovely lady. (It's a good kind of dirty, mind you, but still.)

I say that Ace posts some ludicrously over-the-top right-wing stuff (Noam Chomsky and The Rev. Al Sharpton Are Out and Proud!), inveigle some arrogant left-tards onto site, and...fire for effect, baby!

The word is "syphilitic," not "syphilic."

The hell you say! Well, I am shocked! This requires an angry letter to the chair of the English department of my college! How could they have let me graduate with that kind of slop rolling around in my skull!

I'm just glad we have Renaissance men such as yourself who can call me on such outrageous lapses. You are to be commended, sir!

inveigle some arrogant left-tards onto site, and...fire for effect, baby!

you sweet talker you

I'm just glad we have Renaissance men such as yourself who can call me on such outrageous lapses. You are to be commended, sir!

Weak sarcasm such as this is also considered well beneath the norms of AOSHQ.

Here's a tip: Yank your head out of Laura's ass and take a deep breath before you try again.

Hey Brewfan -- eat me. (It's just been too long.)

Hmmm...we may need a flypaper post for trolls.

Perhaps one of Ace's 'US Economy Soaring but MSM Fails to Notice' posts would serve well in that regard.

Then when they're hooked, WHAMMO. Add 'flamewar' to the title later.

Michael's just pissed because his head isn't up YOUR ass, Monty.
Just ignore the jealous little bitch.

Weak sarcasm such as this is also considered well beneath the norms of AOSHQ.

Why, you--but no! I'm saving my good stuff for the hoped-for flame thread. But be careful, my dear friend, or the next words you speak will be muffled by your own ass.

Anybody here believe RWS doesn't shop nekkid at home?

I know Michael believes it.

Hell, I want to believe it.

I must leave, alas, but let me leave you with a sincere wish that you all drown in a gumbo composed largely of your own effluents.

Ta!

Dave in Texas,

I may very well shop naked, but...ya know... this COULD be me.

somebody throw that spiderman pic at sparkle... she's gettin mean

One thing I know for SURE.

Slublog doesn NOT shop or surf the net naked.

Don't even ask me how I know this.

It's amazing what a guy admits at 1 in the morning on AIM.

So I'm modest. Nakedness makes me uncomfortable.

If a flame war breaks out tomorrow, I'm toast.

I must leave, alas . . .

Oh Monty. How you embarass yourself.

See, a word like "alas" works well in one of your Victorian insults (at which you excel, I freely concede).

But when used in context with otherwise modern discourse, it comes off as a pretentious affectation which causes one to wonder whether you are more than fifteen years old.

Research here at the AOSHQ Insult Quality Control Department has established a direct correlation between oxygen deprivation and poor insult quality. From this I infer that you clearly did not take my advice, and your head remains firmly embedded in Laura's ass.

Didn't FOX also report that they were running shredders all during the investigation?

Then when they're hooked, WHAMMO. Add 'flamewar' to the title later.

I like it. I really do :)

Hey Michael, isn't it time to get the tires rotated on your house?

causes one to wonder whether you are more than fifteen years old

You and my ex-wife both, pal.

FOX News Exclusive? Really? No other media outlets are assigning reporters to UN corruption & cover-up?

No, they're all out looking for Lucy Ramirez.