Actually we got pretty much the whole Bbeck. Me rikey!

Reminds me of Peri Gilpin.

Wooot!!

S-c-h-w-i-n-g ! No wonder that sci-fi guy put the moves on her.

Man, all that and she's a good conservative girl. Our God's kung-fu style must truly be the mightiest.

I'm such a f***in' patriot.

*comes to attention and salutes*

I feel better already. Buck up lads!

*comes to attention and salutes*

LMAO

Did you read the "patriotic" song I wrote for you below?

Never mind, I'll copy it here:

O beautiful, for luscious breasts
So large and lush and firm.
That easily pass the pencil test
And make poor Monty squirm.
America! America! God shed his grace on thee.
Let's cop a feel
To prove they're real
From sea to shining sea.

Dude,

Last line should be,

"From D to overflowing D."

Ack! That Goldstein is such a fag. But his dick is way bigger than I would have previously given him credit for.

"From D to overflowing D."

Good idea, but the meter isn't right. Bbeck deserves better for being such a good sport, especially since she knows the audience here is a bunch of slobbering pervs.

How about:

"From D to bounteous D."

That's more singable, and still gets across the idea that you wouldn't try to do her if you didn't have a snorkel handy.

Now THAT'S a worthy Fitzmas present!
As for ol' Spidey, I'd be afraid of the sticky web he'll be shooting at ya'...

Well, let us turn to George Gordon, Lord Byron:

She walks in beauty, like the night   Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that's best of dark and bright   Meet in her aspect and her eyes: Thus mellowed to that tender light   Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

I take no shots: it's a brave thing to post a picture like this on the Intarweb. A lovely and brave lady.

I coulda gone the rest of my fuckin' life without seeing that damned Spiderman picture again, though. That was uncalled for.

Think of the thousands of dorm rooms, where physics, computer science and electrical engineering majors have taped up a huge printout of that shot on the wall.

She could be the Farrah Fawcett of the 00's.

My balls are MUCH BIGGER than that. Though the penis looks to be about right. Creepy.

bbeck:

BTW, you got my legal opinion in response to your serious question about whether the Fitz investigation is over in the thread under the 2:53 p.m. post. Just wanted you to know that someone was paying attention, given the way the rest of the evening is likely to go.

'Spider Man, Spider Man
holds his web-shooter in his hand.
And though that thing's pinky size
he'll shoot that sticky stuff in your eyes
Look out-
here comes Spider Man.'

O beautiful, for luscious breasts

THAT's what I'm talking about. Spirit of 36 double D even.

Monty, I might have known you'd go for that pussy Byron. Adonais? Need I say more? I'll bet you get a stiffie everytime you read it.

Now Thomas Moore has got the stuff. Irish drinking song AND soulful praise of love that endures over the years... I recite, you decide.

I take no shots: it's a brave thing to post a picture like this on the Intarweb. A lovely and brave lady.

Oh for Pete's sake, do we have to put up with puppy love on this blog?

Monty, exactly how old are you? Cuz, dude, you're not old enough to drink if the alcohol gets you waxing poetic about the "Intarweb".

Does anyone else suspect that Ace is posting a picture of bbeck's tits in a lame effort to divert attention from his abject failure to judge the poetry contest?

Grrrrr. I'm working on it!

Does my previous post of 'The Night Before Fitzmas' count as a late entry?

Michael:

I'm as old as my nose and a little bit younger than my teeth. Which is to say, my fourth decade hovers closely nearby. But I'm happy to say that my juvenile sense of humor is as spry as it was the day I turned thirteen.

And if you philistines can't appreciate a little Byron in the service of a lovely lady who posted a decent boob shot for our benefit, then I'm sorry for you. How many of you paunchy, sunken-chested, man-boobed specimens would post your picture for all to see?

Not me, friend. That takes a kind of bravery I just ain't got in me.

Michael, thanks for the serious entry in the other thread. Now, leave Monty alone, I like the way he waxes poetic, both in his words and in borrowed ones.

And thanks to everyone else for your, uh, kind words.

All I ask for the remainder of posting that you refrain from talking about Jeff's privates in this particular thread.

If you look closely, you can see her face in that picture too. Nice. Good cheek, pinkish hue.

Uncle Jefe,

It was a good poem. But just because the results are very late doesn't mean the entry window stays open.

Her face is in the picture? Really? Where?

Is this like one of those pictures where if you stare at a pattern long enough a picture emerges?

Because I'm trying to see the face -- I'm staring, letting my eyes unfocus, all that -- and this "face" you speak of just isn't emerging.

Oh for Pete's sake, do we have to put up with puppy love on this blog?

We do when you're sucking up to RWS.

Okay, I'm trying to "see the face," but so far the only picture I see is two bald men trying to push their way up from under a blanket. Is it somewhere near there?

Monty:

I don't think Byron ever referred to the "Intarweb". Leave the drinking to the serious alcoholics.

Which reminds me, where has Megan been lately?

Grrrrr. I'm working on it!

*Michael puts on obsequious face*

Ace:

Well then, sir, I trust that you have not been offended by my attempts to call you to your duty. I was only attempting to ensure that my Ode to Ogden Nash will receive your fair consideration, at least as an honorable mention, given that it was a labor of love on my part.

And given that my fingers are just itching to stuff some cash into your PayPal account in the event that I should receive at least an Honorable Mention. Because, I would be truly honored, given that I know you are incorruptible and would never be influenced by the promise of filthy lucre.

speaking of which, where does the armor go?

I was only attempting to ensure that my Ode to Ogden Nash will receive your fair consideration, at least as an honorable mention, given that it was a labor of love on my part.

Sorry, it didn't make the cut.

Oh for Pete's sake, do we have to put up with puppy love on this blog?

Maybe I'll let Walt Whitman answer for me:

---------

O hotcheeked and blushing! O foolish heretic!
O for pity's sake, no one must see me now!....my clothes were stolen
    while I was abed,
Now I am thrust forth, where shall I run?

And yeah, the promise of filthy lucre did weigh in the balance, but in the end, I didn't want to just list every single poem as a winner of some sort, but narrow the winners to about ten winners, runners up, and honorable mentions.

Well, now we know what Michael looks like. You're really into that comic book thing aren't you, Michael? Isn't it ironic that Mrs. Michael dug 'Aquaman' the most?

We do when you're sucking up to RWS.

Well, yes. When sucking up to the Fair Flower of Southern Womanhood, the normal standards of Intarweb discourse are suspended.

And of course there's always John Donne to sing the lovely bbeck's praises (from The Dream, for so she surely is):

---------------

As lightning, or a taper's light,
Thine eyes, and not thy noise waked me;
Yet I thought thee
—For thou lovest truth—an angel, at first sight;
But when I saw thou saw'st my heart,
And knew'st my thoughts beyond an angel's art,
When thou knew'st what I dreamt, when thou knew'st when
Excess of joy would wake me, and camest then,
I must confess, it could not choose but be
Profane, to think thee any thing but thee.

Maybe I'll let Walt Whitman answer for me:

O hotcheeked and blushing! O foolish heretic!
O for pity's sake, no one must see me now!....my clothes were stolen
while I was abed,
Now I am thrust forth, where shall I run?

You can't get more flaming then Walt.
Wait, are you "thrust[ing] forth" for ace?

Yo Brewfan:

I didn't fail to notice your shot earlier today.

But never mind. On a more serious note, your wife wants me to tell you that she likes it rough.

Here's a tip: Just throw her down on the kitchen table and jack her with her clothes still on. She's gonna love it. Trust me.

BTW, did you notice she was walking kinda funny this morning?

Y'know, when lilacs last at the dooryard bloomed, I think that was Monty jacking off behind the lilac bush.

Walt Whitman?

well la tee da.

Ace, suggested format:

Monty. First Place. $12 donation to AoS (Miers adjusted)
Michael. Second Place. $145 donation to AoS. mmmmmmmmmmmwah!

Just keepin' the old prostate in good working order, Mikey. All in the service of health and wellness.

And yeah, the promise of filthy lucre did weigh in the balance, but in the end, I didn't want to just list every single poem as a winner of some sort, but narrow the winners to about ten winners, runners up, and honorable mentions.

So, you're fuckin' telling me that you couldn't create one out of ten categories that would earn me a mention?

Pay those Vietnamese hookers on your own, sucker.

I wasn't clear. Ten poems in all are mentioned either as winner, runner up, or honorable mention, in two categories, Loose Shit (Just funny poems) and Integrity (poems which are closest to "bad liberal poetry," as specified).

Thanks for the explanation, but I still think Tiffany Nguyen is going to be busy the next time you call. She's smart enough not to give you credit.

Ong ace muon di ngu voi Mrs. Michael, long time!

Sorry to disappoint, but if it got out I was picking poetry winners based on promises of donations, confidence in the American currency system would plummet and we would be plunged into a nightmare of hyperinflation and economic depression.

And yet I'm tempted.

fine. convert them to euros and fuck those jerks over.

And yet I'm tempted.

Dance, my puppet! Dance!

Seriously, though -- here's a great way to gin up some income from the crappy verse we submitted:

1. Get some deckle-edged 30-lb linen paper from your local stationer's store (something with a light lavender marble would be perfect).
2. Get a good fountain pen and some Ferrault purple or light blue liquid ink.
3. Re-copy the more fulsome poems onto the paper using a very neat copperplate hand.
4. Submit the poems to Harper's magazine, with a cover letter saying you were inspired by hatred for the "unelected cabal of Rethuglicrat theocons".
5. The Harper's editors, being a pack of rabid moonbats, will go into ecstasies and shell out a $5-per-word bonanza to you.
6. You can parley your newfound poetry-wealth into any number of hooker-trysts and vodka-binges.

Once this series of steps has been followed, it would lead to a link-rich avalanche of hilarity for everone here on AoS HQ.

And yet I'm tempted.

Yeah, I know you are. Cuz Tiffany Nguyen is good.

Real good.

I mean, that girl has absolutely no gag reflex at all.

And I can make it happen. You only have to reread the Ode to Ogden Nash one more time, and see that it is worthy of some kind of Honorable Mention. I'm not asking you to compromise your integrity. Just take another look, and you'll see the merit of this work.

And then you will be reaming Tiffany long time. I was talking to Tiffany just yesterday. She said, "Me so horny!"

I'm just asking for your objective opinion. Know what I mean?

For bbeck's mountain's majesty
that strain projectly
those mondo yabos wrapped within
an Ace of Spades brand T
she modeled it and we all bit
and coughed up twenty bucks
they wound up in the GoodWill bin
this last verse rhymes with fucked.

That Spiderman pic is pure evil. AAAAAAAARGH!

Thank you, Ace. You truly are a man of the people. Fuckin'aye you are. You'd make a fine emperor.

Guess I'll be needing to hit the tip jar.

And I'll repost my tribute to bbeck's sweater meat here:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of bbecks double d's
They are big and they are round and firm
They are begging to be squeezed
In bras or in dresses or in Ace's baby t's
Those boobs are marching on

Glory glory Hallelujah
If you don't love those knockers, screw ya
Glory glory Hallelujah
Those boobs keep marching on!

1. Bbeck is a comely woman, and a redhead, and therefore Trouble. No surprises there.

2. Ace is trying to drive women away from his blog. Seriously. Fat nekkid 'Spidey.' I have to make this quick, because my brain is trying frantically to shut the power to the optic ne

wonders about that myself. it is such a vast disparity... cute girl, oogly guy.

ponders this

It was my birthday today, and this post (at least the first half) served as a lovely, if unintentional gift. Thanks bbeck & Ace.

Hmmmm, nice....oh, what the... My Eyes! MyEyes!!!

Wow!

Not Spidey.

bbeck: Sweeeeet!

Spidey: Ewwww!

And no I shall go to bed hoping my dreams are of the former and not of the latter.

*shudder*

Ok, big boobs are nice. But have you cavemen noticed what's *above* the neckline? Gorgeous redhead! Yow!

oh yeah, but bbeck already knows I think she's a cutie.

a heavily armed cutie, but yeah, cute

I showed my wife the picture of Spider Man because I'm a cold hearted bastard.

Her response? Who painted that??!!!

"1. Bbeck is a comely woman, and a redhead, and therefore Trouble. No surprises there."

And explains her aversion to Lazarus Long. A-ha!! It's becuse he knows you too well, isn't it?

/Heinlein was a creepy, dirty old man

When have I been sucked up to? did I miss it?

Cuz I RARELY get sucked up to. I can't even remember the last time.

Fair flower stuff isn't sucking up you know, it's just nice poetic language.

Which I appreciate for sure...it's just not sucking up.

I'm off to be a gittery fairy with beautiful wings. (Halloween party you know)

I can show off my uhh... chest too, but sadly, I don't have the boobage of bbeck.

I can show off my uhh... chest too, but sadly, I don't have the boobage of bbeck

A picture of your ass should meet all the requisite sucking up requirements. Please contact Ace with your submission.

.I can show off my uhh... chest too, but sadly, I don't have the boobage of bbeck.

It's about quality, not quantity. We have experts on staff to help with the evaluation.

Now she should have someone paint the clothes on like they did on Spidey. Um, I'll volunteer. I'm an artist, you know.

My concern about Spidey is: what if he gets aroused? Will the paint crack?

And, once again, thank you all for saying nice things. It's much appreciated.

what if he gets aroused? Will the paint crack?

Not from the looks of things.

I can show off my uhh... chest too, but sadly, I don't have the boobage of bbeck.

Don't think of it as competition. Think of it as your contribution to the war effort. I mean, bbeck certainly cheered me up, but I love cheer. Can't get enough.

Right guys?

Dave, you're right!

If RWS is a true patriot, she will post pictures of herself in her Halloween glittery-fairy costume, displaying whatever boobage she has available. The GWOT demands no less! Every citizen must do her part!

Thank you, Dave, for pointing RWS towards her patriotic duty. Personally, I did not want to do so, because she already thinks I'm some kind of perv.

Personally, I did not want to do so, because she already thinks I'm some kind of perv.

Well, aren't you?

Personally, I did not want to do so, because she already thinks I'm some kind of perv.

Patriot Perv

Heh. well I don't have a pic of the fairy thing yet. But I have a pic I had about joking about blogging last year. It's practically the same pose and clothes as bbeck, but without..the..you know... and the gorgeous red hair.

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/60/1516/320/blogmom.jpg

Well, aren't you?

Well, yes.

That doesn't change the fact that if RWS is going to do her patriotic duty and support our heroic troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, she will post the appropriate Halloween picture, with a generous display of whatever boobage she has available.

I mean, RWS, it's time to put up or shut up. Do you support our troops in the GWOT or not?

I knew you loved your country Sparkle.

Michael you dipshit she posted a pic.

Let freedom ring.

Michael you dipshit she posted a pic.

Uh, sorry, that pic doesn't really show her patriotism and her commitment to the GWOT (i.e., serious cleavage).

Michael!

I don't have "serious cleavage."

seriously.

Heh.

And if anyone sees a fairy pepperspraying batman tonight. Just ignore it. No worries.....;-)

And if anyone sees a fairy pepperspraying batman tonight. Just ignore it. No worries.....;-)

Heh.

Nice pictures of both you and bbeck.

I don't have "serious cleavage."

mirthful? giddy? carefree?

Slubblog, aww..thanks!

Dave,

carefree might do it....Heh.