You were absolutely right, I shouldn't have read it.

I never liked chocolate sprinkles anyway.

You should almost certainly not read this story.

I will never, ever doubt you again.

This story brings to mind the immortal words of Stewie Griffin:

"For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you."

...I don't think I can finish my Bavarian Creme Filled doughnut. In future, when Ace tells me not to read, yea, even then shall I not read. For ever and ever. Amen.

Anybody want this doughnut?

Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh

What the hell kind of name is that. Mom and dad must have randomly chosen letters to make a name....

It's a jihad thing.

They're called "sprinkles". You're in New York City, now... speak like it, farm boy.

Awww, hell, I didn't even notice his name was Behrouz.

Now I've got the voice of Shohreh Aghdashloo from this last season of 24 in my head:

"Behhhhhhroooooouzzzzzzzzzz!!!"

All of a sudden being diabetic an not able to eat donuts doesnt seem to bad

How do you find this crap? Maybe poor choice of words.

They said 'pastries.' Probably meant Krispy Kremes...but couldn't say it for a variety of reasons.

'Shit Sprinkles' for your KKs...heh.

Can we at least deport the fker if he hasn't been naturalized yet?

I wondered why there was a piece of corn on my glazed this morning. Luckily it fell off when I dunked it into my coffee.

why the defendant would resort to something so repulsive

Hey, Mr. Reporter in Dallas, is this news or editorial?

Don't impose your anti-coprophagous bigotry on the rest of us.

"Hey, Behrouz, whatcha doin' tonight?"
"Oh, just shaving my shit with a cheese grater...wanna come over and help?"

I like this part the best.

"Police said they found a pile of human feces by his bed. He would dry it, either by microwave or just letting it sit out and grate it up with a cheese grater and then sprinkle it at the store, officials said."

He has a pile of shit by his bed and uses his microwave to dry it out. This may be the most repulsive person since the guy who got caught in a pit toilet at a national park.

OBTW Am I the only person who thinks the sentence for a crime like this should be life in prison? Can a person who did something this disgusting be trusted again in a civilized society? Anyway I hope his penchant for shit eating includes eating shit himself because once the other inmates find out he may become the designated salad tosser on the cell block. "Look at Behrouz, he doesn't even use the jelly". Ughhh

Good catch, Nicholas.

That anti-coprophage slant in the newspapers is so subtle and insidious, you really have to be on your toes to keep from being brainwashed.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go heave my guts up.

He has a pile of shit by his bed and uses his microwave to dry it out.

Well...at least he's got himself a hobby.

Big E-- Guy who got caught in a pit toilet at a national park? How did I miss this story? Was I drunk again?

Do share.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Dave,

You should be able to find the story on the Smoking Gun website. He basically was caught in a womens pit latrine at a national park in I want to say Maine or Vermont or something, wearing waders and rain gear, with a camera. He claimed he was looking for his wedding ring. Of course the park service gets complaints like that all the time and has a pump with a filter that will find jewelry. So they pumped it, and of course, no ring. Oh yeah it was like June or July and the temps were over 90 degrees.

I believe their was a local paper story that I was able to find where they played it real straight and commented that he could have been harmed by the release of methane gas or something. It was hilarious, I believe they even contacted his wife for comment.

Dave- I believe that took place at Montana de Oro State Park near San Luis Obispo, back in the late 80's. Of course, these wackos probably see someone getting caught in the news, and say "Hey! Now THERE'S something I haven't tried!"
Damn copycats...

Has anybody checked this guy for an NEA grant?

Dave,

here's the link

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0706053sewage1.html

"The FBI arrested Nahidmobarekeh but turned the case over to local prosecutors after they determined it was not a national security issue."

Is there no corner of our society that Bush has not corrupted with his "War on Terror" fearmongering?

Goddam male whackos. For every one Lorraina Bobbit there's ten thousand assholes like these two. And even Lorraina had an excuse in that dumbf*** John.

Once again, a front porch in the boonies and a double-barrel shotgun full of rock salt are sounding pretty damned good.

Ohhhh, THAT guy. I remember the story now, E.

Thanks for reminding me of the man I admire most in America today. Seriously, he knew what he wanted, and he wasn't afraid to go do it. That sort of industrious dedication should be applauded in this country today, not condemned.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

I'd forgotten all about that national park story, but unfortunately this thread caused it to float back to the surface of my mind, bobbing there like--oh, never mind.

Big E's recap is quite accurate, IIRC, although I could easily believe there were people who heard about an earlier case and thought, "Standing in sewage! Of course. Why didn't I think of that?..."

God, I hate humans. BTW, what happens to these people when they die and go to hell? Are they banned from standing up to their necks in shit, or what?

Uh, I have heard of two other cases not previously mentioned, of people peeping under latrines.

I said godDAMN! Why the hell you be postin' that shit, man?

When taking your dump and microwaving it or hair-drying it and then putting it on food at the grocery store is outlawed, only outlaws will take their dump and microwave it or hair-dry it and put it on food at the grocery store.

I've been swimming in raw sewage. I love it!

I think we've all done that from time to time.

Behrouz turns up many hits for Iranian usage.

My guess is that this assmonkey was "doing his part" for jihad. I would agree that dung doughnuts ain't a national security issue, but I have to take issue with John's post about Bush and fearmongering.

I guess anything done by a conservative nowadays is "bad," while letting potential murderers go uninvestigated is "good." What if this muslim had been lacing his turds with anthrax?

But then John would be blaming Bush.

Heart warming. If anybody needs me, I'll be removing my eyes with a golf tee.

Brings new meaning to the term "shit-eating grin," dunnit?

Two thoughts come to mind:

One, does anyone remember that 'ass pennies' skit (SNL?) (Walken?)

Seems like it could be revised for this guy.

Two,
Ace, "P.S. No more public scatology"

Two thoughts come to mind:

One, does anyone remember that 'ass pennies' skit (SNL?) (Walken?)

Seems like it could be revised for this guy.

Two,
Ace: "PS, No more public scatology"

William Thrash:
Prior to 9/11, a man sprinking his own dried dung on doughnuts would not be something the FBI would even look at. Now, a man sprinkling his own dried dung on doughnuts is looked at by the FBI as a "potential national security issue", and why? BECAUSE OF HIS RACE!!!!

What happened to the America I used to know and love? I suppose Bush will begin his next speech with, "Despite the fact that an Iranian man was recently arrested for drying his own feces and sprinkling it on doughnuts, I know Islam is one of the world's great religions, a religion of peace. Those who sprinkle their own turds on others' doughnuts are perverting the tenets of Islam..."

An tachyonshuggy - right on, man... :,(

What happened to the America I used to know and love?

First, they came for the dung-sprinklers...

Was this microwave exclusively for the feces or was it an all purpose microwave? In any event why is it that nieghbors never report the smell of rotting bodies (in the cases of murderers) or the smell of cooking feces? One would think that the stench is just a tad strong.

I also have to wonder how it made his popcorn taste.

Anybody want this doughnut?

Hmm. Free doughnut? Will you dust off the sprinkles?

John, you just don't get it, do you?

If that moron had sprinkled anthrax into his dung, you'd be shrieking about how Bush should have done something sooner.

The left is always trying to shred American liberties with special laws that discriminate and erode the property right us Americans enjoy. But when it comes to anything a conservative does, suddenly there's mass liberal hand-wringing over how the beloved constitution (already worked over by liberals with a shredder during the dem administration) is now in danger of being shredded by mean, evil, corporate conservatives.

I swear, you nuts get your politics from comic books.

Your hand-wringing about shredded rights is nothing new, got old long ago, and is into the totally lame CLICHE arena.

I am not impressed.

I swear, you nuts get your politics from comic books.

Well, duh.

I also get my philosophy, religion, economic policy, interpersonal communications, gender theory, and fashion sense from comic books. Were it not for graphic novels (which some philistines sniffily dismiss as "comic books"), I would be an unformed lump of human clay: all soma and no pneuma.

Although I do leaven my heavy comic-book reading with lighter fare like Juggs and Policy Review.

Thrash - No, YOU just don't get it. Youre all mad about "liberals this," and "the left that," but when they come pick you up because youer not "conservative enough" under the UN-Patriot Act and put you in the camps they're building RIGHT NOW in the midwest, you'll WISH you had a feces-coated dung doughnut to munch on!

Back in the early 90s, I used to own a comic book store. I read the comics as they came out; it's always good to know your product.

Not a single comic that mentioned politics or economics used anything but the standard evil greedy corporation tripe and a complete lack of logical grasp in economics.

I knew America was in trouble when several conversations passed with a few of my older customers - like in their 50s - where they intoned their wisdom on politics and economics pretty much straight out of the four-color pages. And they were serious.

So my comment wasn't much of a joke, except to illustrate the comical lack of education these readers had.

Camps, patriot act, blah blah blah... HEARD IT ALL BEFORE.

Know where I've heard it? During the REAGAN administration and during the first BUSH administration. Guess what, chicken little? IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Sure takes a LONG time to build those camps. What's it been now? Almost 30 years. It's always "camps" with you guys. What's your problem? Irritated that we don't fall for your CLICHE demagoguery?

I ain't buying it. Your dog don't run. Your horse won't fly. That news was dead 30 years ago and just as stupid.

(Dude, you know I'm just kidding, right?)

Heh.... you sounded too real. I didn't scan back to see what your earlier posts were about.

See how easy it is to be a democrat? Just spew cliches - you'll fool everyone =)

This story puts a whole new meaning to "Fresh, steaming donut", now doesn't it?

However, seriously for a moment...
There are stories that do not need a political twist. This is one of them, IMO. Sick--yes. Political--I'm not so sure.

And really, folks. Fifty posts about an asswipe sprinking shit on donuts? Don't we have better things to do?

Ooops. Make that Fifty-One now. ; )

Dirty no good rat he should be made to eat everyone of those pastries

Nahidmobarekeh could get anywhere from 10 years probation to two to 20 years in prison.

I'd like to be on that jury, cause I'd damn sure vote the latter option.

Hey John-
That was hilarious.
Are you sure you don't post under the name of 'Jim' as well?

Thrash - as many have said, it's too hard to parody lefties because you can't tell when it's for real! I was going to keep it up, becuase you were getting so worked up, but I just couldn't do it to a good conservative anymore. Sorry.

Uncle Jefe - nope.

The "ass pennies" skit was UCB, not SNL (and no Walken involved)

This is why I buy the prepackaged hostess crap rather than bakery fresh

Good to see a thread like this has legs.
Never underestimate potty-humor.

Shit stockpiled by his bed must be the tip of the iceberg. What else did they find in his apartment?

Reminds me of the restaurant I worked at in high school. The cooks used to have meetings so they could decide whether to just knock the mouse turds off the key lime pies or make new ones.

Greenpeace is going to defend this guy claiming he was only recylcing.

(All the good jokes were taken.)

BTW, I just heard on the news he claims it was only a joke. He must have the zany sense of humor as the perv putting dick-pics on girl's windsheilds.

P.S. Remember Hugh Hewitt's shit sandwich?
I'm just sayin'...