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October 17, 2005

Viagra Saves Endangered Species

Yeahp-- instead of eating parts of endangered animals which supposedly increase virility, impotent men are just popping the little blue miracle pill:

The spread of Viagra, the wonder drug that promises to cure erectile dysfunction, is saving endangered species as many men switch from using animal parts to treat the malady, claims a new survey.
William von Hippel, a psychologist from the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia, and his brother Frank von Hippel, a biologist from the University of Alaska in Anchorage, showed that the Western treatment for the sexual problem seems to be replacing traditional medicines, including potions made from seal penises and reindeer antler velvet.

Wait-- I was supposed to make a potion out of the seal penis?

I guess that's why they say to read the f'n' manual.

posted by Ace at 08:43 PM

Comments

Wait-- I was supposed to make a potion out of the seal penis?

Pfft. You should have seen the mistake I made with the Rhino horn. Apparently, you're supposed to grind it into powder and drink it in some kind of potion. But do they tell you that in the little booklet that comes with it? Nope; just a honkin' big Rhino horn in a box. So I got out my Astra-Glide, see, and...well. All I can say is it didn't do much for my particular ailment, but it did give me a different ailment that required a visit to the hospital and a long medicinal regime with a soothing ointment.

Posted by: Monty on October 17, 2005 08:53 PM

Hah, I was wondering if he might be related to Dr. Von Hippel here in AK.

Posted by: Moonbat_One on October 17, 2005 09:12 PM

BTW, there's a big trade of Asians killing wild animals and buying them from poachers here in AK. Deer antlers, bear gall bladders, god knows what else.

Posted by: Moonbat_One on October 17, 2005 09:14 PM

How about saving the endangered american farmer and loggers?

Posted by: spurwing plover on October 17, 2005 09:22 PM

The VonHippel brothers are brilliant. Somebody give those two a prize -- a Nobel prize.

Their Theory stating that the recent advances and formulations in the pharmaceutical field have, nay, "seem," to be replacing the old, archaic, wive-tale- derived, unsubstantiated "medicines" by witch-doctors and medicine-men concocted thousands of years ago is pure genius.

I knew those VonNippel boys would amount to something some day.

Posted by: Bart on October 17, 2005 09:36 PM

Capitalism. Is there anything it can't do?

Posted by: SJKevin on October 17, 2005 09:44 PM

Bob Dole's cock. Is there anything it can't do?

Posted by: on October 17, 2005 09:57 PM

spurwing plover:
How about saving the endangered american farmer and loggers?

That's what the Viagra is for.

Posted by: on October 17, 2005 09:59 PM

How about saving the endangered american farmer and loggers?

No problems - they solved this decades ago with the infamous "its your turn in the barrel".

Posted by: Purple Avenger on October 17, 2005 10:11 PM

Instructions can make such a difference. One wonders how many Philistine foreskins David and his soldiers collected, before one of them finally figured out "hey, this is so much easier if we just kill them first"!

Posted by: Dave in Texas on October 17, 2005 10:33 PM

Maybe they should put the stuff into European drinking water. After all, quite a few European nations are not reproducing themselves; a little pharmaceutical boost may be what's needed to ensure that there is an Italy or a Russia in the 22nd century.

Posted by: Brown Line on October 18, 2005 12:17 AM

Brown Line, you're overlooking something. Reproducing requires HETEROSEXUAL men.

Posted by: Dogstar on October 18, 2005 12:39 AM

My god Monty! What were you thinking?!
I'm so glad you didn't choke!

Dave - lol! Just for that, I'm going to have a drink in your honor.

Posted by: compos mentis on October 18, 2005 01:23 AM

What will become of the turtle egg lady?

Posted by: scott on October 18, 2005 09:05 AM

"Capitalism. Is there anything it can't do?"

Yes. It doesn't seem to be able to provide a coherent and fair healthcare system for American citizens and it cannot effectively protect us from terrorism.

Posted by: bill on October 18, 2005 02:07 PM

Monty is a guy, right?
And he put that horn where?
Now he enjoys the ointment, I think someone should sit down with Monty and have "The Talk" with him, I believe he is confused as to what goes where.

Posted by: Steve on October 18, 2005 04:23 PM

I think someone should sit down with Monty

Maybe standing would be a better idea?

Posted by: VRWC Agent on October 18, 2005 06:10 PM

Oh, ha ha ha! Make fun of the guy who's just trying to better himself.

I'm just saying: the instructions were obscure, and I was trying to do things properly.

Posted by: Monty on October 18, 2005 06:15 PM

Oh, ha ha ha! Make fun of the guy who's just trying to better himself.

I think the word is spelled with a "u." And there's nothing wrong with any of that.

Mmmmmmm. Butter.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan on October 18, 2005 07:46 PM

I was trying to do things properly.

Sure, that's what they all say.

Look bucko, there ain't NOTHING that normal people could do with seal penises or rhino horns that warrants use of the word "properly". These are parts that god intends to remain attatched to their original owners.

You've been unmasked as a sick mutant freak worthy only of being caged and continuously tortured with sharp sticks and electrified grates.

Can I get a copy of the video?

Posted by: Tony on October 18, 2005 09:17 PM

http://www.suomifutis.net/firnal/shemalepics/italian/fatasstrannies.html bloodycoffeespeaking

Posted by: best on December 6, 2005 08:00 PM

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Top Headlines

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

Tucker Carlson is pretty sure Trump is a wizard

Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]

Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!

TJM definitively ranks the films of Billy Wilder, like Some Like It Hot

TJM talks about Billy Wilder

Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.

Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys
Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.

Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain