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October 09, 2005

First Adult-Rated Smurf Cartoon

No, it's not sexual. It's some kind of gaywad educational thingee showing the horrors of war, by showing Smurfs being bombed to death (by American Imperialist Planes, no doubt).

As Dave wonders, is this supposed to turn us off of war? Seems to do the opposite. Yipee-ki-yay, mothersmurfer.

posted by Ace at 11:27 PM

Comments

Ace,

I laughed at this one.

Really.

Children cried.

Horrified parents.

It's a good thing they didn't hear about teenagers being blown apart in a pizza parlor.

Or about families being burned alive in a synagogue.

Or about small children being held captive in their own school only to be starved, shot, stabbed, and then blown up.

Or about holiday-goers being burned-alive in a disco.

Or about women being killed buy their brothers or fathers for being raped.

Or women raped or their children raped in front of their husbands or parents before being killed or mutilated.

Cause that would have been upsetting.

Or not.

Posted by: MeTooThen on October 9, 2005 11:35 PM

Let's face it, who hasn't fantasised about bombing the bloody Smurfs? I was always rooting for Gargamel.

Posted by: David Gillies on October 10, 2005 12:22 AM

Does this mean we can now take out the teletubbies, barney, big bird, captain plainet and all those other silly cartoon characters? If so, when can we start?

Posted by: BattleofthePyramids on October 10, 2005 01:05 AM

Big Bird is a commie - nuke. his. sorry. ass.

I'd glaze all of Sesame Street - it is a sick twisted show that corrupts the minds of youth.

The only thing ever worth a damn was Captain Kangaroo - THAT show taught independence, creativity, and how to have run with really cheap stuff like a milk carton or cardboard box.

Devotes of the Captain never needed the latest megabuck toy being pitched on TV. All they needed was a pair of scissors, Elmers's glue and some rags and they'd be "good to go" for months.

Posted by: Purple Avenger on October 10, 2005 02:40 AM

Of course Smurfs oppose the american imperialism. Don't you know that Smurf stands for Socialist Men Under Red Father?

Posted by: Terje on October 10, 2005 03:02 AM

I remember as a youngster fantasizing about Gargamel using the Snorks to make some sort of amphibeous raid on a Smurf village and just annihilating everyone of those blue little bastards.

Smurfberry Crunch was a good cereal though.

Posted by: Allen on October 10, 2005 05:35 AM

Don't you know that Smurf stands for Socialist Men Under Red Father?

Except that Papa Smurf was blue.

Posted by: Robert Crawford on October 10, 2005 07:34 AM

This is old, but relevant. Reagan would have bombed the little blue shits.

Posted by: Sue Dohnim on October 10, 2005 09:12 AM

The missiles are flying - hallelujah!

Posted by: Martin Sheen on October 10, 2005 09:54 AM

"Except that Papa Smurf was blue."

And Stalin was peach-colored. The point is that his OUTFIT was red. Papa Smurf's, not Stalin's.

Meanwhile, was anyone else surprised when they first heard that Stalin's last name was self-given, and means 'Man of Steel?' Maybe Seigel and Schuster were right to make Superman a bad guy on their first run. I prefer the rewrite, myself.

Posted by: Fox on October 10, 2005 10:09 AM

Ace, mucho gracias for the link.

Smurf Village delenda est!

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 10, 2005 10:13 AM

I shot a Smurf in Reno,
just to watch him die.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on October 10, 2005 10:54 AM

Will napalm work on a Smurf?

Posted by: GihadGene on October 10, 2005 11:06 AM

Dave in Texas,

LOL.

Posted by: MeTooThen on October 10, 2005 11:27 AM

Another lost smurf episode.. more on the typical "adult" theme.. It may scar you for life, tho, so don't blame me.

Check it out..

Posted by: Steve on October 10, 2005 11:35 AM

Purple Avenger,

Nah. Big Bird is just a front. It's Elmo that's red.

;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on October 10, 2005 11:48 AM

Steve,

I have lost all hope for humanity.

Thanks.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on October 10, 2005 11:50 AM

OK I keep seeing this story on the net but does anyone know the link to actually watch this? I really want to see the Smurfs get snuffed. Would be way better than just reading about it.

Posted by: pirate on October 10, 2005 12:06 PM

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/papasmurf.php

Posted by: Scotian on October 10, 2005 01:08 PM

Purple Avenger,

Right on about the Captain! I loved that show - and the bit with the ping pong balls? Man, that never got old :-D

Posted by: Enas Yorl on October 10, 2005 02:51 PM

Ah, I love the smell of smurf in the morning!

Posted by: Xoxotl on October 10, 2005 03:47 PM

Does anyone one know how to get those OOEY- GOOEY blue stains off sensitive skin areas and dentures?
If ya do please contact me!
Barney Frank

Posted by: GihadGene on October 10, 2005 04:10 PM

Dear Barney,
Well I have had experience with white stains on a blue dress before. Oh shucks! The wife just walked in and if she catches me on the computer again I'm in deep KimChee!
Good Luck,
Big Bubba in N.Y.

Posted by: GihadGene on October 10, 2005 04:23 PM

UN authorizes Belgian airstrikes on Smurfs…

PIC

The Belgians immediately arrested themselves for warcrimes

Posted by: DANEgerus on October 10, 2005 04:28 PM

Where are the Toons Now: The Smurfs

http://gorillamask.net/smurfs.shtml

Posted by: J. Wilde on October 10, 2005 07:29 PM

Are smufette and brainy going to do a nude role? is grouchy going to make out is garemel doing LSD will asrel going to eat a mouse will big mouth pose is a little skimpy suit?

Posted by: spurwing plover on October 10, 2005 09:13 PM

I, frankly, prefer the SNL version with the slutty smurfette, myself.

Now that was entertainment!

Posted by: jmflynny on October 10, 2005 09:57 PM

Yeah, I would expect this from the UN, after all they are SOOOO GOOOD at promoting (or ignoring)genocide after all....

so did the warplanes have sky blue insignia?

Posted by: Rorschach on October 11, 2005 11:52 AM

Will smufett and BRAINY be making out? is jokey planning something other then the exploding surprise? is gargamel going to skinny dip with asrel?

Posted by: spurwing plover on October 15, 2005 09:22 PM

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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
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I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

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