Dude, don't knock on Scott Baio. The wife and I were out to dinner at a sushi place here in L.A. a while ago and in walks Baio with a smoking hot 20-something boobicled blonde.

"Zapped!" is still paying dividends...

Chris, do you ever get people telling you, "I loved the theme from 'Arthur'!"?

I'm thinking if you have that huge honking moustache on your face you've pretty much limited your career options to 1, riverboat gambler, 2, law enforcement officer, or 3, NFL defensive coordinator.

Chris, I think you missed the point. At one time or another Chachi has boffed Denise Richards, Nicole Eggert, Pamela Anderson, Heather Locklear, and dozens, maybe hundreds of boffworthy women we've never even heard about. So, yes, thinking of ways to make his life better isn't a real high priority.

I always enjoy a visit from funny Ace.

BTW, I know you know, but for everyone else: Scott Baio is going to be on Arrested Development this season.

I expect great things.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Scott Baio is also seriously rich, since he's been being paid a big salary since he was 14 years old. And apparently he banked most of it.

GREAT... now how am I gonna get the image of Scott Baio out of my mind when (I mean: IF, IF!) I the need to pleasure myself.

It's easy, JFH. Just do what Dave does--close your eyes and think of Powers Boothe.

Yeah, that should help, thanks Sean... Besides, I can imagine a threesome between Boothe, a young Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey, pre-nose job:

"You've been with BOYS for too long, girls. It's time to show you what a REAL man can do"

Russell,

Depends on the age of the person. Over 30 and it's "Arthur" or "Sailing" references.

Under 30 and it's "Kris Kross Jump Jump" references.

I'm thinking if you have that huge honking moustache on your face you've pretty much limited your career options to 1, riverboat gambler, 2, law enforcement officer, or 3, NFL defensive coordinator.

Or, you know, John Bolton. Details, details.

"Why should I change my name? He's the one who sucks!"

Of course, I will always respect/violently hate Baio for all his time spent at the Playboy mansion. Oh, like I wouldn't want to hang out playing cards with Hef and Jimmy Caan, and then taking a splash in The Grotto with Miss June, Miss October, Miss December, and the Swedish Bikini Team.

Pigfucker. *I* should have a Grotto.

And, Harry? Bitter at that no-talent ass-clown, are we now?

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Can someone remind me again why I should care if they starve themselves to death?

Schivo, right to die, blah, blah and all that rot should apply here.

I'm still unclear on why they're being fed more than saltines, sawgrass and cockroaches(gotta have your protein) anyway.

I'm still unclear on why they're being fed more than saltines, sawgrass and cockroaches(gotta have your protein) anyway.

Well, Tony, it's because that kind of fare hardly constitutes a halal diet. And I'm sure I don't have to remind you that any failure to give these guys "culturally-sensitive" meals would be...TORTURE!!!

(Jeez. Next thing you know, Tony'll be suggesting that we wrap these poor victims of imperialist aggression in Israeli flags.)