No?

Oui? Eh?

Dean, what is this loose shit
with the people you interviewed?
You're all on fuckin' notice.

"CIA" Ray sez,
I'm the only important
one up on this stage

the media shrieks
get back on the plantation
you negro ingrates

Darn those survivors
They didn't follow the script
Find some critics - STAT!

5-7-5, Ace. Jesus. Where did you go to haiku school?

Up, the flood waters,
Down, the news anchorpersons.
Still no impeachment.

French Dreams

I want to go home
It sucks to work on Friday
Is it Beer Thirty?

Snivelling newsies,
Blubbering politicians.
Grow a fucking spine!

"I thought that Bush would..."
"You thought! You thought! You thought eight
Things tonight, Nagin!"

Tranquility

Cedarford is gone
Who will take his place you ask?
My bet is on Bill

Sobek, LOL!!

The Presidents ideas
again leave Dems hoping that
Americans fail

Wasted $20

Can't wear my Ace shirt
To tonight's game of Hold'em
There's a hole in it.

Loose shit haiku is
So much more easy to write
Rules are for sissies

5-7-5, Ace. Jesus. Where did you go to haiku school? -- S. Weasel.

S. Weasel's Mother's a Whore

Lying in soiled sheets
the pungent scent of knock-off Old Spice and feet
goddamnit, Mrs. Weasel's a filthy whore.

Flame on!

Mom was what she was.
Who am I to pass judgement?
She made great chili.

A Democrat Gov
A Mayor Who's Democrat
I know- Let's blame Bush

Shrub and Precipice

'All your wildest dreams,'
A rambling promise to them.
The Right falls away

Koppelsprech

Don't you watch TV?
Twenty-four hours of coverage!
(give or take a day)

Flame on?

Sweet

Posting many links
Does not an argument make
You know who you are

Mary, the buses?
"They were all underwater!"
Verbal sewage smell.

Leftie analysis
Disturbing in its squalor
Immune to reason

Brewfan,

It's not beer thirty!
According to my wristwatch,
It's quarter past scotch.

ADD Haiku

Outraged mannequins
Leading questions and retakes
Yeah, his Mom's a whore all right.

Ray Ray, those buses
Won't drive themselves. They got to
be cranked up, Ray Ray!

Pussy Dave can't write
haikus until Powers Boothe
removes Dave's gimp suit.

What? Leftie reason?
I think you are giving them
Far too much credit

Dave's fantasy pair
Jeff Gannon and Powers Boothe
Man on man action

Crowing Bird against Deepening Clouds

Black folk speak their mind
Smell of pants-shitting
Fills ABC's offices

All you journalists?
Stop sniveling like wussies
Butch up, nancy boys!

Louisiana Carnak--Commonalities

Nagin, Blanco and
Superdome--envelope torn,
blow, read: "Full of Shit"

a five five seven
that is awful bad haiku
get your sh*t togeth

Tried To Read Jack M.
But one can't understand bullshit
From dumb-ass fuckholes.

An Ode to Brian Williams

You stupid bastard
Why don't you shut the fuck up
Pretentious asshole

An Ode to Dean Reynolds

Nice flop-sweat, moron
At least you didn't cry like
Fucking Rivera

MSM Kamikazes

Race-baiting breezes
Blow right back in their faces.
Feel the divine wind.

Watched Fox for some news
Saw Geraldo Rivera
just losing his shit

The real story here
is Geraldo's vagina,
Not the survivors.

Victims had it rough?
Way to convey strength, asshole!
Dammit, what a puss!

An Ode to Anderson Cooper

You're the worst, you know
Getting all emotional
This isn't Oprah

But it's nothing that
A glass of shut the fuck up
Can't handle, you prick

An Ode to Geraldo Rivera

Old Jerry Rivers
It's almost not worth the time
To mock your dumb ass

But watching you cry
And act like a big pussy
Just made me see red

Reporting the Blitz
I never raised my voice or
Got emotional

You're a reporter!
Not some damn grief counselor
So shut the fuck up!

tea ceremony beside the river

Bush in New Orleans
Pounds budget in the squeaker.
Still the Left complains.

Wagnerian Elmer Fudd

Chimpy should have put
on his magic helmet and
spear. STOP KATWINA!

No Distance in Waveland

Pumping emotion
Like sewage from Big Daddy
Gay Geraldo smells.

An Ode to Andrew Sullivan

Mother of mercy
What the hell is this bullshit?
You call that writing?

Hysterical twit
It's like the diary of
A twelve year old girl

Being a dumb ass
fuckhole explains why I read
the Garfield Ridge blog.

It's like comfort food
for the kids on the short bus
minus the flavor.

Stealing Ace's schtick?
Posting about his man crush?
Typical Dave fare.

But at least we can
agree that Pussy Dave's blog
still beats INDC Bill's.

To all M S M
People blame local and state
Put in pipe and smoke

Muj is in bomb class
-last thing running through his mind?
His own dirty ass.

Titles

Title of Haiku
By Tom M should have been called
NOLA contendre

ace of spades: you want
to go where everybody
knows your name, f---head

Smoldering angst-face
Shep reaches for Pulitzer
Oprahfication

Profanity just
Works in this poetry form
Classic clusterfuck

compliments to all
but need I remind you twits
there's a damned war on

John Roberts ekes by
With minimal asshattery
Thanking Katrina

Two thousand a pop
Debit cards for survivors
But no booze or guns

They really don't care
Whom to blame for the fuck ups.
Want Gucci hand bags

Dems will be just fine
Rolling to hoodwink media
Natural 20

Hugh Jackman comes out.
In Connecticut
tears fall. Garden rain.

the right to bare arms
fucked by a five blade razor
a.k.a. Nagin

Oh, it's on, Doc.

Bring it, vixen.

You want me.

I pity you.

You call this haiku?
I don't think the Japanese
Really had us in mind.

First shots cross the bow
The smell of desperation
Oh yeah, he wants me.

Can't read stories of
Sean Penn's boat. Giggles stop me
at 'bung hole' each time.

Narcissus petals fall.
An east coast garden springs forth
Fevered Delusions

Deep insightful post
about fucking razor blades
You're Erma Bombeck.

Bilge hole or bung hole?
Either way Sean Penn needs to
Put a cork in it.

You're good, Doc. Maybe real good. But this is laura we're talking about and just good isn't going to cut it.

Helpful post annoys.
No advice for legs you shave?
Try garden mower!

An Ode to Ace of Spades

This pisses me off
This is the new media?
How far we've fallen

A bunch of retards
Writing bad poetry and
Cussing like sailors

What would Cronkie think
If he were alive to see
What we have become

What, he is alive?
But he already looks dead
Shriveled old bastard

You all make me sick
With flame wars and bad haiku
To hell with you all

Edward R. Murrow
a media icon but
no John Chancellor.

Ray's a knucklehead.
Why didn't he simply use
Some Duck Tour buses?

OK, that made me ROFL

Wind blows
R's cringe
D's rejoice

ABC shows
R's know
D's blow

Katrina babble
Perpetuated by libs
There's a war on, folks

Single ray of dawn pierces gloom

Edward R. Murrow
shove a flashlight up your ass
and kill the bug there

Ode to lauraw

Sweet happy horseshit
You want to go, little girl?
Time for a flame war

I'm Edward Murrow
Journalist extraordinaire
So just bring it on.

Everybody gunning for me today, WTF

I mean, its not like I instigate anything

Billy Squier said
"everybody wants you"
he was such a dork

Earth begins to shake
Thunder sounds in the distance
Lipstick is walking

Slurping noise delights
Michael moans in ecstasy
Brewfan, stop gagging

Megan mocks Butters
Trying to conceal her lust
Tempted by man love

Pool boy washes off
"Mrs. Michael you are hot!"
"Ah shucks, thanks BrewFan"

Have I mentioned yet
Bill banned me for no reason?
Big fucking asshole

Dave in Texas cooks
The world's best tortilla soup
Like some frigging fag

RWS is hot
MILF material for sure
Shapely Texas tease

Michael is trying
To start a secret flame war
With little success

Slublog feels left out
Michael forget to flame him
So, um, eat me Slub

So Sully linked Ace
Are those wedding bells I hear?
Young love is so sweet

That hurt pretty bad
Damning with faint flame is worse
Than no flame at all

Speaking of flame wars,
Sully's pissing people off
All over the web

Why would Sully care
about being flamed and all
He is a flamer

I wish I knew her
LauraW is so cool
Now smell my finger

---

Jack M who is he
The man I never pissed off
Oh no wait I did

Clooney make-out dreams,
Powers Boothe man-crush...it's no
Wonder Sully linked.

Dave's flaming man-crush
On Powers Boothe ("Wolverines!")
Makes Ace so jealous.

"If only they gave
Nobel Prize for Bitchiness,"
Laura sadly sighs.

Sobek:

Funny posts about
Interviews with better blogs
So, I want those links!

Mrs. Michael says
Hubby can't get erection
Hence the cute pool boy

IED anticipation
Odd whistling
Darkness (and no fucking virgins!)

DAMMIT Sobek.
And here I was going to give you an award for your earlier haiku.

You've placed me in a difficult situation.
Well, not really.

If there's an award on the line, then never mind about that last haiku.

It's about the art
Don't be tempted by the swag
It's just not worth it

Can't eat art.
Constipation ensues.
Brake fluid enema relieves.

Slublog, I'm a whore.
I can learn to live with that
(With NEA grants).

Sweet NEA grants?
I guess you can count me in
But my price is steep

Crazy grant money.
Funds my life this part.
I shit in bucket call it "art".

Time to face the facts
We're all a bunch of cheap whores
Crazy for money

Where's our dignity?
Are we bereft of all shame?
Wait, don't answer that...

This can't wait.
Weird in extreme.
Camp Casey has been stolen!

http://purpleavenger.blogspot.com/

I'm no cheap whore, Slu,
I insist on top dollar.
Unlike Ace's mom.

Be careful, Ace is
Protective of his mother
He's such a good boy