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« NYT Edits: Needing Today's Attack To Be The Worst Ever, It Downgrades Bridge-Stampede Tragedy | Main | I My Co-Bloggers »
September 14, 2005

Bandwidth Costs Big Money: Excitable Andy Makes His Play For The Kos-cash

After a very good round-up of Blanco's incompetence and negligence, Goldstein adds a nice little update.

I guess Excitable Andy just wasn't making enough bandwidth-money with his "independent" and "maverick" political views. He needs a base to keep him in bicycle shorts, and he's decided to embrace the hard left.

I can't read the Shrill Shill anymore; the Freak-Out Meter only gets elevated or lowered when Allah decides it should be.

But, since everyone's slagging on my favorite blog-bitch again, I'll just relink some of my best hit-pieces on this Hysterical Hack.

Starting here, I decided to blog as Andrew Sullivan all day (keep scrolling to the next entry, at the top of the page, which will not have a title, so click on the forward arrow). It was emotionally draining. I don't know how Excitable Andy can manage to maintain his hyperemotional state without succumbing to bipolar exhaustion.

Andrew Sullivan-- "I'm Not the Easiest Person to Offend, God Knows." Ohhhh reallllly?

Andrew Sullivan Shrieks About Women Soldiers "Raping" Dirty Filthy Terrorist Detainees. (Skip down to the Content Warning part for the bit about Excitable Andy.)

This guy is further from reality than I ever imagined if he thinks this is a credible charge.

I can just imagine it... a US servicewoman with thousands of horny, in-shape men to choose from. And she sees a scraggly-bearded filthy bit of terror-ass and says, "Ohhh yeah, I gots to haves me a piece of that. Mmm-mmm! With a biscuit!"

But of course the credibility of such a charge is greatly enhanced by the fact that Bush supported the Federal Marriage Amendment.


posted by Ace at 03:54 PM
Comments



Don't forget how many times he tells how many words his written on his blog.

Posted by: geoff on September 14, 2005 04:17 PM

Heh. You said "hard left."

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on September 14, 2005 04:17 PM

Instapundit got snippy with Andrew today, too.

Posted by: on September 14, 2005 04:19 PM

He's the David Brock of the post-9/11 world. I'll give you five to one odds that he's already working on a "Blinded by the Right"-type apologia.

Keep that Q rating high, Andy. Whatever you gotta do.

Posted by: Allah on September 14, 2005 04:21 PM

Suggested title for Andy's apologia: "Growing in Office."

Posted by: Allah on September 14, 2005 04:24 PM

"Andrew Sullivan Shrieks About Women Soldiers "Raping" Dirty Filthy Terrorist Detainees."

HE FREAKS BECAUSE HE FEARS VAGINAS.

Posted by: on September 14, 2005 04:37 PM

Andy's Book,:

Virtually Yours -
How I Pioneered A Medium, Shaped Opinion, and Paved the Way for Other, Lesser People to Express Themselves.

Posted by: BumperStickerist on September 14, 2005 04:38 PM

HE FREAKS BECAUSE HE FEARS VAGINAS.

In all fairness, who doesn't?

Posted by: ace on September 14, 2005 04:41 PM

If Andy isn't working on his Brock-style apologia, he's not the man I think he is. For a title, I'd suggest "Divorced from Reality: Bush's War on Terror and Gay Men."

Posted by: utron on September 14, 2005 04:44 PM

Maybe he'll write a religious book instead. "Gay Lord: The Secret Truth of Christ's Raging Homosexuality."

Posted by: Allah on September 14, 2005 04:56 PM

How about, "A Little Bit Nutty and a Little Bit Slutty: The Andrew Sullivan Story."

Or, "From Top to Bottom: A Gay Journey of Political Discovery."

Posted by: Allah on September 14, 2005 04:59 PM

"Switching Positions: A Tale of (Re-)Orientation."

Posted by: Allah on September 14, 2005 05:00 PM

HE FREAKS BECAUSE HE FEARS VAGINAS. In all fairness, who doesn't?

Then why are you always trying to get into ours?

Maybe he'll write a religious book instead. "Gay Lord: The Secret Truth of Christ's Raging Homosexuality."

If you think your quip that he might do something like that is shocking, it's not.

Posted by: on September 14, 2005 05:03 PM

the Freak-Out Meter only gets elevated or lowered when Allah decides it should be.
I hope he pays you for this, allah. Don't give it away for free.

Posted by: on September 14, 2005 05:11 PM

I love his claim that he endorsed Kerry because of demonstrated incompetence. On the part of Bush. Yep, try not to laugh.

Posted by: Brainster on September 14, 2005 05:17 PM

"The Pope and the Dope: How Bush and Ratzinger Forced Me to Join the Left. (A Tale of Gob-Smacking Vileness.)"

Posted by: utron on September 14, 2005 05:17 PM

Well, given Exciteable's rhetorical excesses lately, that friggin' meter should be redlined.

Posted by: Slublog on September 14, 2005 05:17 PM

"The Weight of My Loafers: My Short Conservative Journey"

Posted by: Slublog on September 14, 2005 05:20 PM

Wow, it doesn’t take long for you dingers to purge one of your own for not repeating the Rovien message machine.

You still can’t distract us from the imperialist quaqmire in Iraq, our destroyed economy and the soon-to-be impeached liar-in-chief:

http://mattstover.blogspot.com/2005/09/can-crooked-fucking-politico-change.html

Those who are not blinded by Jeebus chickenhaws and the far right message machine should read avove ASAP.

Posted by: Cain on September 14, 2005 05:37 PM

How soon to be impeached? Seriously. I want to know when we can point at you and laugh.

Posted by: S. Weasel on September 14, 2005 05:40 PM

You still can’t distract us from the imperialist quaqmire in Iraq, our destroyed economy and the soon-to-be impeached liar-in-chief:

You mean the shiny objects are no longer working.

Posted by: Dman on September 14, 2005 05:49 PM

You still can’t distract us from the imperialist quaqmire in Iraq, our destroyed economy and the soon-to-be impeached liar-in-chief:

bet me.

holds out a pretty yellow balloon

Posted by: Dave in Texas on September 14, 2005 05:50 PM

dammit dman

Posted by: Dave in Texas on September 14, 2005 05:51 PM

hellppp hel;p i"vve bween b;lindeed by the jeebus cjhickenhawkss

Posted by: Megan on September 14, 2005 05:51 PM

What's all this talk about a message machine? Can I get one? What do you do if it breaks down?

Maybe Cain means "ideas".

Posted by: on September 14, 2005 06:01 PM

Those who are not blinded by Jeebus chickenhaws and the far right message machine should read avove ASAP.

Hasn't this troll dropped by before? I seem to recall some other idiot who couldn't quite handle tricky words like "chickenhawk" and "above."

Once these guys evolve opposable thumbs, then the impeachment of our liar-in-chief is just a matter of time.

Posted by: utron on September 14, 2005 06:03 PM

You know, Ace, I was reading the linked piece where you blogged as the Delicate One for a day and it got me to thinking. You noted in one of your entries the Instalanche by proxy via the Brainbridge trackback and the subsequent traffic spike you received.

-Um, yeah, that sounds rather uncomfortable...especially in the Sully context.-

Anyway, I think the spike in traffic is directly related to what might be known as the SullySlap-a-lanche. If I can speak as just one person here, if the blogosphere is slapping Sully around as it is today, I'll click on every last damned link I can find. Sometimes twice.

There's just something so special about these days. (And Allah always comes out to play, too!) When the internets are alive with the sounds of Sullyslapping, it's a happier, more link friendly day.

So I suggest to all bloggers to devote at least one day a week to nothing but Sullivan-bashing, thus resulting in dramatically more hits per week.

Posted by: F. Blognerd on September 14, 2005 06:31 PM

Hasn't this troll dropped by before? I seem to recall some other idiot who couldn't quite handle tricky words like "chickenhawk" and "above."

I'm afraid that doesn't narrow it down at all, utron.

Posted by: S. Weasel on September 14, 2005 06:33 PM

More Andy Titles
"Andrew Sullivan: Like KY to the Internet"
"Surfin' the Hershey Highway"
"A hypochondriach's guide to blogging"

Posted by: Iblis on September 14, 2005 06:36 PM

Cain spewed forth this gem: Those who are not blinded by Jeebus chickenhaws and the far right message machine should read avove ASAP

Yep, that's me. Gay, conservationist, college educated, white-collar worker from the SF Bay Area that follows no organized religion yet I align myself with those low-IQ inbreds that want me dead, all for the glory of their reactionary, corporate masters.

I don't defend Repubs on every little thing. Did ya ever think maybe I just don't like socialism? Jeez, you lefties are such one-trick-ponies!

Posted by: Log Cabin on September 14, 2005 07:02 PM

Sorry to interrupt this fun game of Whack-The-Troll, but I feel compelled to inform you all that the Antichrist has, apparently, been born.

Fell free to insert your favorite verse from the Book of Revelations here.

Posted by: Wes S. on September 14, 2005 07:19 PM

...Feel free. Feel free.

Preview is my friend.

Posted by: Wes S. on September 14, 2005 07:22 PM

> Those who are not blinded by Jeebus chickenhaws and the far right message machine should read avove ASAP.

I read it. BFD. Look up "Hurricane Recovery Specialists" in your Yellow Pages and see how many candidates you come up with. In the absence of a universally recognized authority, most people in a position to delegate will go with people or organizations whom they know have performed well in circumstances requiring improvisation and initiative.

By the way, the "Jeebus chickenhaws" remark doesn't enhance your credibility as much as you might think.

Posted by: Guy T. on September 14, 2005 07:28 PM

Gay, conservationist, college educated, white-collar worker from the SF Bay Area that follows no organized religion yet I align myself with those low-IQ inbreds that want me dead, all for the glory of their reactionary, corporate masters.

You're my kind of homo, Log Cabin. Once we put you through forcible heterosexual conversion camp you can date my sister.

Well, friendly dates, I mean. I don't want her settling down with a pervert.

Posted by: ace on September 14, 2005 07:39 PM

Chickenhaws? I guess they sound like this: "Culck! Luckc!"

Posted by: Andrea Harris on September 14, 2005 07:44 PM

Cain, is it true dyslexics have more fnu?

Posted by: BrewFan on September 14, 2005 07:50 PM

Cain has been here before. Leaves pretty much the same message every time, too.

Posted by: Slublog on September 14, 2005 07:59 PM

HE FREAKS BECAUSE HE FEARS VAGINAS.

In all fairness, who doesn't?

Um, me. I've never actually encountered a scary vagina. By the time you get to them, they all look pretty friendly, to tell you the truth.

Am I missing something? I mean, do they have retractable teeth or some other feature I don't know about?

Posted by: Michael on September 14, 2005 08:20 PM

"Then why are you always trying to get into ours?"

Aversion therapy? Like when they put you in a room filled with spiders?

Posted by: Knemon on September 15, 2005 01:16 AM
Posted by: MechaSheep on September 15, 2005 05:09 AM
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