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« How To Blog, By Iowahawk | Main | Not Quite Open Thread: Sci Fi/Fantasy Geekery »
August 22, 2005

You'll Never Do Lunch In This Town Again

Hollywood screenwriter and blogger Robert Avrech comes out as a formerly-closeted Republican, and comes out swinging against soft-headed Hollywood liberalism:

I’m a Republican. A heretofore secret Hollywood Republican. I know men and women who are heavy drug addicts and they have no problem finding employment in Hollywood. I know men and women who are gambling addicts and they work pretty regularly. There’s even a director who was arrested for child molestation and yet was hired by Disney — yes, Disney — to helm a picture, and people defended this decision by saying even child molesters have a right to work. I would bet my bottom dollar that all these people are on the correct side of the political spectrum. They are liberal democrats.

Me, I’m a Republican. A conservative Republican. I believe passionately in free market capitalism. I believe in the Second Amendment, i.e., the right to bear arms (I even own several guns and go to the shooting range with friends from shul several times a month). I despise communism and fascism, and I believe there is a special place in hell for Islamic totalitarians and their Western apologists — probably 99.9 percent of Hollywood people.

Let’s be clear about one thing. Hollywood people are glamorous. But that’s about it. They are ill informed about jihad. They are ill informed about Islam. They are ill informed about Israel, the PA, Iraq, Afghanistan. They are ill informed about U.S. history, the Constitution, etc. The truth is, the movie people I’ve met are ignorant about most everything — save the weekend grosses of the top ten films. That they know like human computers.

Ouch.

Note to Hollywood: He said that, not me. I'm just the messenger.

Personally, I love you guys, and I would do anything (and I do mean anything, savvy? I'm talking to you especially, William Baldwin) to get someone to read my script.


posted by Ace at 06:35 PM
Comments



Ace, you whore. Is there anything you wouldn't do for money and power? Sleep with Margaret Cho, perhaps? Oliver Willis?

Posted by: fasterplease on August 22, 2005 06:50 PM

I don't think so, no.

Posted by: ace on August 22, 2005 06:52 PM

But you are considering it aren't you ace?

Posted by: john on August 22, 2005 06:56 PM

Hey! Ace may be a whore, but he's our whore, so BACK OFF!

Posted by: on August 22, 2005 06:57 PM

OMG! That is the most romantic blog I have ever read!!! That is just too sweet a love story.

Who cares about Hollywood.....Oh yeah. Ace does.

Well, if you ever do get that script made into a movie, you better put some decent stuff on that screen!

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on August 22, 2005 07:00 PM

There's a woman who comes into the café where I have breakfast on the weekends. She always has about 10 scripts in tow, with logos of the studios or the major agencies on the covers. I assume she is a private reader for an actor. If you want, I can slip your script into the stack when she's not looking, ace.

Posted by: on August 22, 2005 07:04 PM

OMG! That is the most romantic blog I have ever read!!! That is just too sweet a love story.

Yeah! Why can't you guys be more like that guy?

Posted by: on August 22, 2005 07:20 PM

anonymous poster,

That sounds pretty cool. Wish you'd left an email.

Posted by: ace on August 22, 2005 07:24 PM

I think there's more money in whapping out those soft-core Harlequin romance novels.

There's even software now that will almost generate them automatically using prewritten template passages, so the author doesn't really have to do any real work...kinda like telling a builder what colors and options you want then come back to find the completed house.

The only downside is you have to be able to stomach writing about people with names like Brett and Violet.

Nasty compromise of personal integrity there...but my standards a low, so I can live with it.

Posted by: Tony on August 22, 2005 07:29 PM

I bet that woman does what my old college roomate use to do for studios. She would read a bunch of the scripts they received constantly and recommend which one (if any) were worth taking a look at.

I suppose slipping another in couldn't hurt. She could actually recommend it.

If my old roomate still did that I would send her e-mail Ace, but she is now a screenwriter as well.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on August 22, 2005 07:30 PM

I was sort of joking in that I think she would notice right off the bat.

Posted by: anonymous poster on August 22, 2005 09:18 PM

"Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Republican Party?"

I have a list of names! Card carrying Republicans! Right here, in our midst!

So, do you think there is such a thing as a "conservative" black list?

Posted by: Partisan Pundit on August 22, 2005 09:28 PM

I would saw my left foot off with a rusty bread knife rather than let a Hollywood director get his slimy hands on anything I'd written. Sometimes I have this dream: my novel becomes a best seller, and Hollywood sends their minions to me begging to option the script (or whatever the hell it is). I listen to them all, and let them buy me lunch, and then I say "No!" and I laugh and laugh and laugh like that actress on Sunset Boulevard.

And you know how I can say this so confidently? Because I'm gonna make my millions from Crazy! Blog! Money!

Posted by: Andrea Harris on August 22, 2005 10:06 PM

Andrea, I have a script I'm writing right now (slowly....verrrrry slowly) and the worst, most horrible thought is not getting turned down, but accepted by some left-wing schmuck in hollywood.

With digital medium the way it is now, you don't need the same amount of capital to do a decent film. Hell, I could settle for B grade simply because I think my story line works so good. I wish there was a better system of distributing movies and getting funding out. If I had a boat load (which is two metric ass loads) of money, I'd honestly start thinking about doing something like that.

Posted by: Sharp as a Marble on August 22, 2005 10:31 PM

Here's a stupid question. How come liberals control Hollywood? All you need to make a movie is lots of money, and aren't there lots of rich conservatives? Aren't there even ten of them with an interest in movies?

It's not like they couldn't make money. One of my scary-sophisticated insights into movie making is that liberals throw money away every time they lard their product with liberal-think. All it would take is one group of investors not living in Mooretopia to blow up the whole works. Look what happened with FOX news...

I DON'T GET IT.

Posted by: Clubber Lang on August 22, 2005 11:19 PM

A republican in hollywood and i,ll bet they will be demanding he move out by most of these hollywood lowlife lowtards

Posted by: night heron on August 22, 2005 11:31 PM

I would saw my left foot off with a rusty bread knife rather than let a Hollywood director get his slimy hands on anything I'd written.

Andrea, I think you're in possession of at least two things Ace doesn't have access to: female sex organs and scruples. ;)

All this talk. Ya know, Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell didn't wait for Hollywood, Ace. Talent makes it OWN luck.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on August 23, 2005 01:17 AM

I had a friend (now dead) who was a writer of novels. He used to spend a grand total of about 4 days on each one. For him the lines came as fast as he could type.

I can't imagine writing whole books on a 256K dual floppy XT using WordStar anymore (and I built the machine for him at the time) but he did it.

Posted by: Tony on August 23, 2005 02:01 AM

I know a woman who makes her living writing children's books for under-fives and hard-core pornography. I think her heart is in the latter. Certainly most of her income is. One of the things she does for a little extra scratch is write those letters-to-the-editor that appear in girly mags. The editor provides her an outline of the scenario he wants.

Yeah. Sorry.

Posted by: S. Weasel on August 23, 2005 06:19 AM

I went to Arvech's blog and stayed up until after midnight reading the first few months. He and his wife lost their 22-year old son to pulmonary fibrosis, and he started the blog to just talk about it. Man, the grief and horror of it all - and yet they keep going, they have two younger daughters, and life just keeps going and staying normal, even if you're falling apart. I kept thinking that his son died almost the same time as Cindy Sheehan's, and what a difference in dealing with the trauma. He can't think of anything but Ariel, and even when he thinks he's just being weak and hopeless, you can see this deepness and solemnity growing inside. He's actually getting somewhere, while Cindy Sheehan is thrashing furious and making more and more noise, and just going nowhere.

Posted by: Wanda on August 23, 2005 08:20 AM

Ace, fix that second link... seriously messed up.

Posted by: meep on August 23, 2005 08:53 AM

Ace:

*Writers don't have to do any real work because you can buy a software program to do it for you.

*If you do get an offer for your script, unless you hack of your foot with a rusty kitchen knife you have no personal integrity.

*You don't need Hollywood. You could make your own feature film with your own digital camera.

*If you had talent you not only would have sold your script(s), you would have directed them, too. Hack.

*It should only take 4 days to write a novel, therefore, it should only take about an hour to write one of your scripts.

*Fuck this screenwriting shit, all the big money is in writing letters to Penthouse.

Gee, just think what these people would have said if they didn't love you. :)

Posted by: on August 23, 2005 11:05 AM

aren't there lots of rich conservatives?


Mel Gibson?

Posted by: Master of None on August 24, 2005 05:55 PM

They've got to do more than read it whacko - they've got to like it. But I am sure it is chock full of geeky, bloggy goodness.

Posted by: Ryan on August 25, 2005 10:37 AM
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