Of course Flying Spaghetti Monster is old. He's ageless, for He created everything. He is the Alpha and the Omega of airborne pasta abominations.

Then again, we must always remember that FSM looks a lot like Cthulhu.

Coincidence? I think not.

So which one is "His Noodliness?" Cause, you know, one man's noodle.... Never mind.

Oh boy. Here we go again. lol.

Will someone please shoot me if I get involved in another thread on Intelligent Design?

Our heaven is better because we have a stripper factory and a beer volcano

LOL- I wonder if Pizza is like Moses and Lasagna is like Peter. Jesus must be like Four Cheese and Meat Ravioli cuz dat shit is da bomb!

Dave with the first comment - LMFAO

IDK if noodles was a fark creation, but they do some sweet photoshops of him.

The holy trinity of pasta:

Flying Spaghetti Monster, Papa John, and Chef Boyardee!

"Will someone please shoot me if I get involved in another thread on Intelligent Design?"

[raises hand] Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me! :)

(I keed, I keed. I like Michael now. In a manly way. Not that there's anything wrong with the other way, of course)

Well, while the Flying Spaghetti Monster is timeless, the story's only a couple weeks old, and is worthy of any additional coverage it gets.

The classical artistic embellishment just makes it all that much more of a certainty, wouldn't you say?

It's far better than some of the sillier ideas, such as this bit from the Onion refuting gravity with the theory of Intelligent Falling.

Looks like Krugman on a "bad hair" day...

Aaaaugh...no ID debates!
I'll have to turn the flying monkeys on you.

You do not want that.

If you throw FSM against a wall, does he stick?

"Aaaaugh...no ID debates"

Sorry. Once the monkey flies out of Darwin's ass there's no way to put it back!

THERE IS NO MONSTER BUT MEATBALLAH, AND MOZZARELLA IS HIS PROPHET!

MEATBALLALALALALALALALALA!

(Peas be upon him)

lauraw:

Well, you ain't gonna do shit with no flying monkeys until you fork over the dough you owe me from last time.

And I agree that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is just a bastardized form of Cthulhu. Perhaps FSM is simply the First Avatar, and harbinger of the Great Darkness in which we will all be eaten.

Excuse me, but your monkeys refused to do my bidding.

Before you start second-guessing, YES I followed the instruction manual you provided me.

All they did was eat Purina monkey chow and slack off all day.
You want rent? Hold your ass! There's your rent.

I'm going with the Main Street Witch & Necromancer this time. Her monkeys WORK, you betcha. And they're undead.
No monkey chow required.

Totally O/T, but whoa...spam attack!

Get thee to this site as quickly as possible. The program is free and works like a charm, for the most part. On my site, it blocks hundreds of spam comments and trackbacks a day.

May Allah Meatballs bless you with seventy virgins, who do not look like camels, as has been reported. May the virgin's limbs not be scattered like your Martyred fragments. May your rolling pizza oven bomb blow the fast food infidels into the great Olive Pit. May the Great Pizza Prophet (puke) rain car bombs down on your enemas. May your hemroids swell with the blessing of the Great Pizza Prophet (puke).
The pieces of Allah Meatball be with all your Martyred Fragments.

"(Peas be upon him)"

Laura, honey, you know I love you. But that was absolutely horrid and you need to be beaten severely for it.

You also need to come over and clean the coffee off my monitor.

For the Flying Spaghetti Monster so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Sauce, Cheeses Crust, that whosoever shall believe in him shall have everlasting lunch.

lauraw:

*Sigh*. How many times do I gotta explain this? My monkeys are the best in the biz, but they are followers of his Noodly Eminence, and you tried to make them work on Holy Friday. Their so-called "slacking off" was a religious observance. I sent you a pack of pious flying monkeys -- hygienic, too; did any of them crap in your car? NO! -- you try to make them work on their Sabbath day, and you wonder why they won't obey. Yeesh. Some people.

Oh, and that Main Street Witch and Necromancer is a low-class clip joint. The owner got busted last month for selling fake dragon scales -- turns out they were just dried boogers. I'd check out those "undead monkeys" and make sure they're not just ratty furs he bought from the Salvation Army rummage bin. But hey, it's your money.

(I should add that my monkeys can be a rain pain in the ass about this whole Pastafarian thing. Ernie, the one with the gimpy leg, spends his off-time out at the airport handing out tracts and Jolene -- the silverback with the spots on her wings -- tends to fall down and start speaking in tongues whenver an Olive Garden commercial comes on the tube.)

rain=real

me no write gud.

OT - A candidate for the Bad Ideas Hall of Fame

"We aren't backing a truck up to some dump site in the dark and turning loose a bunch of elephants," insisted Cornell University ecologist Harry W. Greene, one of the plan's authors.

...

Environmentalists, as a group, are fuckin' whackjobs.

Yep Brew, you just don't do that. Messing with Ma Nature is a sure fire way to screw something up royaly.

Besides, don't they know how mean and territorial prairie dogs are? Just a handful of those little bastards can bring down a full-grown bull elephant before you can say dead pachyderm. An entire colony would decimate an elephant herd.

"Environmentalists, as a group, are fuckin' whackjobs."

Educated idiots as my uncle used to say.

You people are all dain bramaged.
I don't even know why I keep coming back here.

Environmentalists, as a group, are fuckin' whackjobs.

Sigh.

Every time I think I'm over you, Megan, you go and say something tha makes me fall in love all over again.

Maybe FSM is the missing link. Good as any other missing link explanation.

I'm all for the "rewilding" project, I mean, once it was declared a disaster can you imagine the cheap lion steaks at the qwik-e-mart? Can you?

"We aren't backing a truck up to some dump site in the dark and turning loose a bunch of elephants," insisted Cornell University ecologist Harry W. Greene, one of the plan's authors.

Interesting mental picture he creates. Gives you the impression that he actually considered it.

Here's another one for ya.

What word belongs in this article but never appears?

Those rabbits in Australia must be about the main exhibit in that hall of fame.

I support "rewilding". Once it fails can you imagine how cheap lion steak will be at the qwik-e-mart? Can you?

Border Patrol Lions.

lauraw

I may not agree with creationism or intelligent design, but this parody really is in poor taste. There are Christians bloggers on ACE who may take offense, even if they don't say so, so as to not appear to be all the things that Liberals make them out to be. And despite the fact that Liberals have hijacked the word to use as they attack people for disagreeing with them, there are a few things that everyone has a right to be offended about, and mockery of religion is one of them.

I'd like to think that in the ranks of the Perpetually Offended there are few Ace readers.

I mean, RightWingSparkle is a nice lady and I bet she's giggling about Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes.

Am I wrong?
Any commenters out there think I went too far?

For what it's worth, I'm Christian (though not of the creationism/ID variety, apparently) and I'm not offended. I'm not trying to say I'm representative but, hey, I think it's pretty funny, you know?

And let's face it. My Savior was pretty much a blue-collar construction worker. Those guys typically have a sense of humor, too. Plus, I'm pretty sure He's comfortable enough with His own divinity not to feel threatened by a flying cartoon pasta parody.

I am of the 'God is the only important one on the stage' variety. He is on an eternal integrity kick so I don't need to be offended! But if you want to mock him let me remind you of the eleventh commandment; Don't make a maniac out of Me!

I wasn't offended. Plus we all know that Laura has no secret agenda to undermine Christianity.

Although I do wonder what she wants with those flying monkeys...hmmm...

lauraw

I am not one of the ranks of the easily offended. In fact, besides Islam, the only thing I am truly offended by is All Things Liberal. But imagine if Maureen Dowd had posted this. I know you don't mean it the way she would and I'm not offended. But I do think it is in bad taste, which is quite a singular acheivemnt for the ACE OF SPADES.

I'm a Christian, but I wasn't offended by it.

I just thought it was kind of dumb. So, I guess, in that way it was perfect for Ace of Spades readers.

Color me puzzled. Why be offended by the mockery of your religion? If your beliefs are correct, you'll get a HUGE last laugh. Like for all eternity. If you're wrong...well, you're wrong, so who cares?

I'm fairly new to this blog, but it seems like just the sort of place I'd expect to run into the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Or the Fly-ng Sp-ghetti M-nster, as the orthodox would have it.

Why, to smite my enemies of course.

Like that girl who dropped a house on my sister.
I ain't getting over that.

I am of the Jesus whipped the moneychangers out of the temple kind of Christian (no whining allowed)so I was not offended. Revenge is a dish best served in the afterlife.

I've never been quite sure what evolutionary purpose being offended serves, anyway. I mean, will umbrage keep that bear from mauling you? Will a sense of righteous indignation keep that saber-toothed cat from nibbling on your chitlins? Will Gronk leave your comely cave-lady alone if you patiently explain that his heavy-handed attempts at sexual congress brings you shame and a sense of moral opprobrium?

I mean, seriously: being offended has got to be dumbest emotion ever.

mmmmmm...chitlins.....

ghghghghghghghghh...............

"I do think it is in bad taste, which is quite a singular acheivemnt for the ACE OF SPADES."

*jaw drops to floor*

Are you shitting me?

I mean, seriously: being offended has got to be dumbest emotion ever.

The hell you say - bite your tongue!

I've got a party to run that is founded on "being offended," and I don't need that kind of negativity.

S. Weasel

Oh, I don't think God is offended by this. But I must say that having done it myself, and having been truly smited by God for it, I have found that not all sins go unpunished in this life. And though I don't know what eternity really means, I know for certain that God's just punishment is terrible beyond our imaginings. The Fourth Circle is reserved especially for Liberals, and the Fifth Circle, where Gabriel Byrne Himself awaits him, is for Bill Clinton.

I mean, seriously: being offended has got to be dumbest emotion ever.

That is one reason the theory of Evolutionary ethics cannot be rectified. There is no natural selection basis for many of the emotions that exists in humans.

lauraw

Of course I'm shitting you! I do think its in bad taste but so is almost everything else on this blog. It was an ACE-like attempt at a funny, no need to get offended.

Monty,

I was driving through the Twin Cities on I94 Monday and a fellow in a pickup truck and a Bush '04 bumper sticker pulled up next to me and waved (presumably because I have a Bush '04 bumper sticker too). Was that you :)

BrewFan:

Nah. When I make hand gestures at other drivers, it's generally in response to a questionable decision on their part and isn't meant in a "what ho! well met!" type of way.

Besides, I live down Rochester way -- I probably won't get up to the cities until the State Fair comes around.

I imagine being a Bush supporter in Minneapolis can be a lonely endeavor sometimes :)

Another Christian not offended.

Fanks.

It may just be the tequila talking, but does anyone else have a hankerin for anal sex?

"Let's go find us a drunk and cornhole him."

Yeah, that's the ticket....

WTF

Fanks.

??? Couldn't you at least call me a fag or something to show me that you really care?

Oh OK.
Thanks, FAG.

You're a very demanding little vagina.

Honestly, folks, I don't know what she'll ask me to do next.

Laura, The smart money says he's got a Wonder Woman costume he wants you to wear...

I'm offended that more of you aren't offended.

You also need to come over and clean the coffee off my monitor

*suspects ulterior motives*

oh, also not offended. but then I have a low dregree of offensensitivity.

yeah,