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August 05, 2005

Cowbell! More Cowbell For My Centurions!

July Job Growth Better-Than-Predicted At 207,000 New Jobs; June and May's Jobs Numbers Revised Upwards By 42,000

Golden diapahs, babies. Golden diapahs.

Democratic Spokesbabe Flavia Colgan called the job creation figures "inadequate." "The corrupt and illegal Bush Administration can try to fool the American people with its 'numbers' and 'stats' and 'proveable facts,' but the American people are smarter than that."

She paused for a moment to part her lips in a subtly sexy manner. "The American people know the economy is just like the Billy Joel classic Allentown, except it doesn't have a good beat and you can't dance to it."

Miss Flavia then announced she had to go, as she was late for Hotness Class.

Thanks to Running At the Mouth.

Justine Bateman Pics After The Jump: Okay, don't knock me because this first one isn't sexy. She's a little girl in it. But I think it's cute, because she's posing with a very-young Jason Bateman.

Update: And one shot of Jason Bateman as an adult.

But I can't leave it at that, so here's a hot one:

As Michael J. Fox would say: "Mallory... Mall-o-ryyy...!"

For The Ladies and/or Aaron and Other Homos:

First one I found. Looks okay in it. I like the Good-Guys-In-The-Road-Warrior shirt. He just needs a compound bow and he's all set to defend the guzzoline.

posted by Ace at 02:21 PM

Comments

Are you talking about Flavia Colgan? For a Harvard/UPenn grad, she's a total moron.

In the words of Ted Kennedy, "raise the bar!!!!" Not that bar...

I hope she didn't really say the whole, "numbers and stats" don't trump my "cute metaphors." Although, I have a bad feeling she did.

Posted by: Charles on August 5, 2005 02:24 PM

Didn't we vote for cheesake over cowbell?

Posted by: 72 Card Monte on August 5, 2005 02:28 PM

No, I made that up. Thanks for telling me her last name.

72,

Go beyond the jump.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 02:30 PM

Mallory can arrest my development any time... Wait that doesn't even make sense... Uh, I'd like to tie up her family... That was even worse... I'd like to master that Bateman... Shoot, just ignore this whole post.

Note to self: leave humor to the semi-professionals and don't start heavy drinking until at least 5.

Posted by: JFH on August 5, 2005 02:40 PM

Krugman is probably hiding in a closet right now, crying and sucking his thumb.

Posted by: Monty on August 5, 2005 02:45 PM

Hey Ace,

Do you have or do you know where I can find a roll up of GDP and Jobs for the period starting Jan 1999 through the current?

I have need of a fact club to bludgeon numerous ignorant (is there any other kind) LLL on the matter...

Thanks!

Posted by: Outlaw_Wizard on August 5, 2005 02:53 PM

My neck hurts.

Posted by: The Warden on August 5, 2005 02:55 PM

OW, google up the BLS website. They've got everything you need. If I get a minute I'll link you here.

Now, which picture is supposed to be the hot one?

Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:26 PM

Seriously, everything.

Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:28 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

She needs a What Not to Wear While Mostly Undressed intervention.

Posted by: Victoria on August 5, 2005 03:29 PM

Ace! You bigot! Where are the HOT ASS shots of JASON! WOOF!

Speaking of WOOF, Jason's venture into teen wolf 2 was filmed exlusively at my college in claremont, ca (Pomona College--#4 in the nation!).

Posted by: Aaron of Lifelike Pundits on August 5, 2005 03:34 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

Guys like old-school underwear. Because we all grew up on Benny Hill.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 03:42 PM

No joke about Benny Hill. An amazing cultural influence.

I keep a little old bald guy around just so I can slap the top of his head when I geet annoyed.

Posted by: The Colossus on August 5, 2005 03:45 PM

Justine Bateman is more like it but can you turn her around? It's difficult to hold a throbbling funmuscle while trying to look upside down.

Posted by: 72 Dogs on August 5, 2005 03:51 PM

Eww. That Jason pic is hoooorible.
I don't think he's sexy anyway, but when I see that picture I can imagine he smells bad.
He needs a flea dip and a shave.

Posted by: lauraw on August 5, 2005 05:38 PM

If you think Flavia Colgan is hot, you need a cold shower before the trip to the optician that you've been putting off for 10 years.

Posted by: Brian C. on August 5, 2005 08:29 PM

No way, dude, Flavia is totally hot. Any shower spent thinking about her is automaticall lukewarm at least. Though it helps that she is an agent of evil. If she were just a normal person it wouldn't be as exciting.

Posted by: Alex on August 5, 2005 11:43 PM

Glah! You're making me long for CNR, Ace. At least with him you get colorful neck scarves.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on August 6, 2005 01:51 AM

That come hither look on filthy Jason Bateman...mmmm.
Let me set the scene;

There's a knock at my door.
I open it, and what I see before me is (that pic) a dirty hobo. He has his elbow up in some bizarre position, to prop up his nasty lice ridden head. He is smiling brightly at me.

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

SLAM

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 09:25 AM

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

...As you stand transfixed, watching the bug walk out of one of his nostrils, across his face, and into his ear...

Posted by: Dogstar on August 6, 2005 10:01 AM

Sincerely, that there's an ad for keeping a loaded shotgun behind the door at all times.

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 12:37 PM

Amazon.com Widgets

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The Deplorable Gourmet
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Top Headlines

Funny -- if you don't mind clicking on TikTok. "Amy.Pranks.22" set up an AI scam-call screener which replies to a foreign scammer trying to get her bank information with Trumpian bluster. This might be fake because I don't see how a program can respond in real time, but it's funny.

Food Thread Pizza Dough Recipe

The ULA rocket just launched
Thanks to Joyenz
The rocket's enormous engines are fueled by "the volcanic heterosexual lust between James Talarico and his Neighbor With a Uterus 'girlfriend'"
I hope Amazon's rocket works better than the Amazon Prime app does as far as allowing people to watch the black and white version of "Spider-Noir"

From the CA Post:

Spencer Pratt is now Karen Bass' biggest headache.

A bombshell California Post poll conducted with McLaughlin & Associates shows the reality TV star-turned-mayoral candidate has surged to a statistical tie with the incumbent mayor.

And voters blame homelessness, affordability and the direction of Los Angeles as the reason for turning on Bass.

Pratt now leads the field with 30.1% support, compared with 29.5% for Bass, setting up a razor-thin race heading into next week's primary.

Socialist councilwoman Nithya Raman sits in third place at 23.4%.

Thanks to beckster

Just like "Spartacus" Corey Booker, now that James Talarico is running for a higher office, he unveils his previously-unknown "girlfriend" and hooboy, it just so happens she used to work for him, and, get this, likes to "dance the night away" at gay bars
Gee I wonder where they might have met
Oh and she's a vegan
When Corey Booker needed a "girlfriend," he conjured up known LGBTQ activist Rosario Dawson. How convenient that when these guys need a girlfriend to show off to the normies that just happen to find an activist with a strong history of and interest in Supporting Gay Men
But seriously, this James Talarico romance with a Neighbor with a Uterus is a love story for the ages. The passion of their lovemaking is hotter than a blue star with a core of Primordial Sex Atoms created in the Big Bang

"Journalists" are all drunks, criminals, sex-pests, and liars, exhibit #25,239,331

And just like that, #PunchANazi became Punch a Ballot for a Nazi

Was the "transatlantic accent" favored by stage and screen actors of the 40s and 50s "fake"? This linguist says no, it was a real accent

"Teen" charged with five counts of attempted murder after attempting to run down police officers with his car in yet another "teen takeover" permitted by woke racist incompetent Chicago mayor Brandon Johnson
Johnson's response to the "teen takeovers" of streets and businesses that he refuses to make arrests to stop is to go after social media companies for not deleting messages to coordinate the "teen takeovers." Um, they're supposed to find these messages and delete them in real time?
It makes no sense but he has to offer an "alternative" plan to just arresting lawbreakers -- which he absolutely refuses to do, saying we "can't arrest our way out" of rampant crime.

The Babylon Bee's crack AI team uses AI crack to simulate the first woman president

TJM explores the world of John Ford movies.

Future Tucker Carlson guest James Talarico:

James Talarico
@jamestalarico

Black Americans in a church.

Mexican Americans in a store.

Asian Americans in a spa.

Radicalized white men are the greatest domestic terrorist threat in our country.

He's referring to three mass attacks committed by white men in, oh, the past six or eight years. There were a huge number of mass shootings and bombings he had to skip over to cherry pick three committed by white men. Which kind of makes me think that "white men" are not the greatest terrorist threat in our country.
No, I doubt he'll be a guest on Tucker Carlson. The only thing that Tucker clings to that he claims makes him "conservative" is a palpable hatred of gays. Any time there's a communist enslaving their population and executing dissenters and conservatives, Tucker praises that dictator by saying "at least he represses the homos!"

Podcast: CBD and J.J. Sefton discuss the newest iteration of the Iranian negotiations, with the hope that the President will stick to his guns and get rid of the nuclear material, Minneapolis mayor Frey is scum, and an idiot, Artificial Intelligence, and more!

Polls close in Texas at 7pm local (8pm for the East Coast). Vote the RINO out.

TJM celebrates Memorial Day the only way he knows how.

Those of you who are longtime Not Watchers of Stephen Colbert will not enjoy this flashback of Colbert dancing with Chuck Schumer while wearing ostentatious covid masks

Rush Limbaugh was an innovator in so many ways, including being among the first to not watch Stephen Colbert

DNI Tulsi Gabbard tenders her resignation for June 30, says her husband has been diagnosed with a rare bone cancer and she will have to help him through this

TJM definitively ranks the films of Sam Peckinpah.

Podcast: CBD and Jim Lakely of The Heartland Institute chat about Heartland's two recent discussions: The affordability crisis in America, and The UN retreating from their most maniacal climate projections. Along the way we talk Democrat insanity and the changing electoral map...and more!