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August 05, 2005

Cowbell! More Cowbell For My Centurions!

July Job Growth Better-Than-Predicted At 207,000 New Jobs; June and May's Jobs Numbers Revised Upwards By 42,000

Golden diapahs, babies. Golden diapahs.

Democratic Spokesbabe Flavia Colgan called the job creation figures "inadequate." "The corrupt and illegal Bush Administration can try to fool the American people with its 'numbers' and 'stats' and 'proveable facts,' but the American people are smarter than that."

She paused for a moment to part her lips in a subtly sexy manner. "The American people know the economy is just like the Billy Joel classic Allentown, except it doesn't have a good beat and you can't dance to it."

Miss Flavia then announced she had to go, as she was late for Hotness Class.

Thanks to Running At the Mouth.

Justine Bateman Pics After The Jump: Okay, don't knock me because this first one isn't sexy. She's a little girl in it. But I think it's cute, because she's posing with a very-young Jason Bateman.

Update: And one shot of Jason Bateman as an adult.

But I can't leave it at that, so here's a hot one:

As Michael J. Fox would say: "Mallory... Mall-o-ryyy...!"

For The Ladies and/or Aaron and Other Homos:

First one I found. Looks okay in it. I like the Good-Guys-In-The-Road-Warrior shirt. He just needs a compound bow and he's all set to defend the guzzoline.

posted by Ace at 02:21 PM

Comments

Are you talking about Flavia Colgan? For a Harvard/UPenn grad, she's a total moron.

In the words of Ted Kennedy, "raise the bar!!!!" Not that bar...

I hope she didn't really say the whole, "numbers and stats" don't trump my "cute metaphors." Although, I have a bad feeling she did.

Posted by: Charles on August 5, 2005 02:24 PM

Didn't we vote for cheesake over cowbell?

Posted by: 72 Card Monte on August 5, 2005 02:28 PM

No, I made that up. Thanks for telling me her last name.

72,

Go beyond the jump.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 02:30 PM

Mallory can arrest my development any time... Wait that doesn't even make sense... Uh, I'd like to tie up her family... That was even worse... I'd like to master that Bateman... Shoot, just ignore this whole post.

Note to self: leave humor to the semi-professionals and don't start heavy drinking until at least 5.

Posted by: JFH on August 5, 2005 02:40 PM

Krugman is probably hiding in a closet right now, crying and sucking his thumb.

Posted by: Monty on August 5, 2005 02:45 PM

Hey Ace,

Do you have or do you know where I can find a roll up of GDP and Jobs for the period starting Jan 1999 through the current?

I have need of a fact club to bludgeon numerous ignorant (is there any other kind) LLL on the matter...

Thanks!

Posted by: Outlaw_Wizard on August 5, 2005 02:53 PM

My neck hurts.

Posted by: The Warden on August 5, 2005 02:55 PM

OW, google up the BLS website. They've got everything you need. If I get a minute I'll link you here.

Now, which picture is supposed to be the hot one?

Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:26 PM

Seriously, everything.

Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:28 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

She needs a What Not to Wear While Mostly Undressed intervention.

Posted by: Victoria on August 5, 2005 03:29 PM

Ace! You bigot! Where are the HOT ASS shots of JASON! WOOF!

Speaking of WOOF, Jason's venture into teen wolf 2 was filmed exlusively at my college in claremont, ca (Pomona College--#4 in the nation!).

Posted by: Aaron of Lifelike Pundits on August 5, 2005 03:34 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

Guys like old-school underwear. Because we all grew up on Benny Hill.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 03:42 PM

No joke about Benny Hill. An amazing cultural influence.

I keep a little old bald guy around just so I can slap the top of his head when I geet annoyed.

Posted by: The Colossus on August 5, 2005 03:45 PM

Justine Bateman is more like it but can you turn her around? It's difficult to hold a throbbling funmuscle while trying to look upside down.

Posted by: 72 Dogs on August 5, 2005 03:51 PM

Eww. That Jason pic is hoooorible.
I don't think he's sexy anyway, but when I see that picture I can imagine he smells bad.
He needs a flea dip and a shave.

Posted by: lauraw on August 5, 2005 05:38 PM

If you think Flavia Colgan is hot, you need a cold shower before the trip to the optician that you've been putting off for 10 years.

Posted by: Brian C. on August 5, 2005 08:29 PM

No way, dude, Flavia is totally hot. Any shower spent thinking about her is automaticall lukewarm at least. Though it helps that she is an agent of evil. If she were just a normal person it wouldn't be as exciting.

Posted by: Alex on August 5, 2005 11:43 PM

Glah! You're making me long for CNR, Ace. At least with him you get colorful neck scarves.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on August 6, 2005 01:51 AM

That come hither look on filthy Jason Bateman...mmmm.
Let me set the scene;

There's a knock at my door.
I open it, and what I see before me is (that pic) a dirty hobo. He has his elbow up in some bizarre position, to prop up his nasty lice ridden head. He is smiling brightly at me.

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

SLAM

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 09:25 AM

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

...As you stand transfixed, watching the bug walk out of one of his nostrils, across his face, and into his ear...

Posted by: Dogstar on August 6, 2005 10:01 AM

Sincerely, that there's an ad for keeping a loaded shotgun behind the door at all times.

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 12:37 PM

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Top Headlines

Low-T High-Calorie Potato Brian Stelter: "Matthew Dowd is no longer an MSNBC political analyst, according to a network source."
Matt Dowd, former Disney Groomer Corporation Political Director and John McCain advisor (of course), is the one who blamed Charlie Kirk's shooting on the real assassin, Charlie Kirk, claiming that Charlie's "hateful words lead to hateful actions."

Trump speaks about the "heinous assassination" of Charlie Kirk, notes the left relentlessly demonized him until they radicalized an assassin to kill him

"For years, the radical left has compared wonderful Americans like Charlie to NAZlS... this type of language is DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the terrorism we're seeing in our country today.
And it must stop RIGHT NOW!"

Argentinian PM Javier Millei: "The left is always, at all times and places, a violent phenomenon full of hatred."
I disregard their hate. It's the violence that we object to. And we will begin objecting to it with force.

Update: Kash Patel says the person of interest has been interrogated and then released. Wrong guy, I guess.
But as the hours pass without a real suspect, and with the FBI apparently interrogating uninvolved people, I begin to fear the assassin has escaped. I mean, they don't seem to be following a breadcrumb trail, they seem genuinely baffled.

Karol Sheinin: I can confirm the person of interest questioned by the FBI is Zachariah Ahmed Qureshi.
If this is the guy -- apparently he also interned at Heritage.
Update: Source says he's been released? Wrong guy?

Fat-F*ck Pritzker blames Trump's rhetoric for the ramp up of political violence! May he rot in hell! [CBD]

Podcast: Jim Lakely of Heartland.org joins us to discuss the blockbuster polls they have released over the last week. Americans 19-39 seem to be embracing socialism, overt redistributionist policies, destruction of our rights, and international control of our country! But there is hope on the horizon!

Broward County Officials Accused of Adding Over 100,000 Ineligible Voters to the Rolls It is too soon to know how it happened, but...Republicans are watching! And that is how it is done. [CBD]

Federal judge temporarily blocks Trump from firing Federal Reserve Gov Lisa Cook With absolutely nonsensical reasoning, but you already knew that. [CBD]

Podcast: 2A ban for trannies? Venezuela attack is Congress dropping the ball, RFK Jr...Maniac or disrupter? Heartland.org poll is a sad commentary on American education, and more!

James Varney: Reflecting on Hurricane Katrina twenty years later, and the partisan uses Democrats found for it
There was fear aplenty. But the truth is, a lot of the panic Americans saw on television was performative. The throngs of people along Convention Center Boulevard sat patiently in the broiling weather, five or six deep in folding chairs on the sidewalk, waiting for something, someone, to arrive. Then, a television crew or photographer would show up, and people would pour into the street, falling on their knees, screaming and gesticulating to the camera. It was an awful situation, obviously, but when the camera wasn't on them, it was remarkable how patient and orderly everyone was.

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: the most repetitive but catchy earworm of the eighties?
Sometimes, I find you doubt my love for you but I don't mind
Why should I mind? Why should I mind?
It's hard to quote the song while avoiding quoting from the endlessly-repeated chorus.
Wait, my mistake, his other hit from 1985 was the most repetitive new wave hit of the 80s.

David French Is Aggressively and Persistently Dishonorable, But Fortunately He's Also Really Bad At It
Here's a solid beating of the execrable French! [CBD]

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I'm gonna get high, man, I'm gonna get loose/
Need me a triple shot of that juice

Podcast: 600,000 Chinese spies given visas? Scotland relies on 14-year-old girls for their defense, tariffs work! mortgage fraud is the new thing, and more!

I guess yesterday's Starship test flight was cancelled. They're counting down to another launch, NOW. Lift-off!

The "hip" gray corporate slop era of Cracker Barrel is put on hold (supposedly):

Bret Baier
@BretBaier

Cracker Barrel is going back to the old logo. Company statement: "We thank our guests for sharing your voices and love for Cracker Barrel. We said we would listen, and we have. Our new logo is going away and our "Old Timer" will remain. At Cracker Barrel, it's always been - and always will be - about serving up delicious food, warm welcomes, and the kind of country hospitality that feels like family. As a proud American institution, our 70,000 hardworking employees look forward to welcoming you to our table soon."

A Starship test flight is scheduled for 6:30 Central (7:30 Eastern)

Elric the Blade says he's no longer sure that Trump will have the right to appeal in the NY fraud case:
Yesterday, I thought that Trump had an appeal as of right on the fraud liability, based upon news reports that cited the second opinion as declining to find in favor of liability. That would give Trump at least 2 dissenting judges for an appeal as of right.
But now, after seeing the actual decisions, I'm not so sure. Sorry, guys. I've never seen or heard of what the second opinion did. They dissented, but ... decided not to dissent? I'm not sure what the effect is in terms of whether Trump has a right to appeal. I doubt anyone does.
I think even if Trump doesn't have a right of appeal, the Court of Appeals (NY's highest court) will take the case. But ... it's a liberal court so who knows how they'll rule. I have the docket number so I can track what gets appealed to the Court of Appeals. If Trump wants to appeal, I think he might file an appeal as of right and a petition for permission to appeal. His lawyers know this case much better than I, but even they might know what the effect of all the opinions are.
I don't think they'll take the appeal. Judges are lazy and cowardly and will duck any hot potato case they can. These judges are also liberal hacks, and do not want to deliver Trump a full victory.

FBI raids home of John Bolton, former Trump national security advisor "The probe is eyeing multiple instances of the use of classified documents in leaks to news media. NBC reported that the investigation into Bolton began during the Biden administration, but did not go further before President Joe Biden left office in January." [CBD]