Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« "Vaginas R' Us" | Main | The Benefits of a Cleric-Run, Religous-Maniac Culture: Islamic Videogame Company Invents Galaga In 2005 »
August 05, 2005

Cowbell! More Cowbell For My Centurions!

July Job Growth Better-Than-Predicted At 207,000 New Jobs; June and May's Jobs Numbers Revised Upwards By 42,000

Golden diapahs, babies. Golden diapahs.

Democratic Spokesbabe Flavia Colgan called the job creation figures "inadequate." "The corrupt and illegal Bush Administration can try to fool the American people with its 'numbers' and 'stats' and 'proveable facts,' but the American people are smarter than that."

She paused for a moment to part her lips in a subtly sexy manner. "The American people know the economy is just like the Billy Joel classic Allentown, except it doesn't have a good beat and you can't dance to it."

Miss Flavia then announced she had to go, as she was late for Hotness Class.

Thanks to Running At the Mouth.

Justine Bateman Pics After The Jump: Okay, don't knock me because this first one isn't sexy. She's a little girl in it. But I think it's cute, because she's posing with a very-young Jason Bateman.

Update: And one shot of Jason Bateman as an adult.


But I can't leave it at that, so here's a hot one:

mallory2.bmp

As Michael J. Fox would say: "Mallory... Mall-o-ryyy...!"

For The Ladies and/or Aaron and Other Homos:

First one I found. Looks okay in it. I like the Good-Guys-In-The-Road-Warrior shirt. He just needs a compound bow and he's all set to defend the guzzoline.

posted by Ace at 02:21 PM
Comments



Are you talking about Flavia Colgan? For a Harvard/UPenn grad, she's a total moron.

In the words of Ted Kennedy, "raise the bar!!!!" Not that bar...

I hope she didn't really say the whole, "numbers and stats" don't trump my "cute metaphors." Although, I have a bad feeling she did.

Posted by: Charles on August 5, 2005 02:24 PM

Didn't we vote for cheesake over cowbell?

Posted by: 72 Card Monte on August 5, 2005 02:28 PM

No, I made that up. Thanks for telling me her last name.

72,

Go beyond the jump.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 02:30 PM

Mallory can arrest my development any time... Wait that doesn't even make sense... Uh, I'd like to tie up her family... That was even worse... I'd like to master that Bateman... Shoot, just ignore this whole post.

Note to self: leave humor to the semi-professionals and don't start heavy drinking until at least 5.

Posted by: JFH on August 5, 2005 02:40 PM

Krugman is probably hiding in a closet right now, crying and sucking his thumb.

Posted by: Monty on August 5, 2005 02:45 PM

Hey Ace,

Do you have or do you know where I can find a roll up of GDP and Jobs for the period starting Jan 1999 through the current?

I have need of a fact club to bludgeon numerous ignorant (is there any other kind) LLL on the matter...

Thanks!

Posted by: Outlaw_Wizard on August 5, 2005 02:53 PM

My neck hurts.

Posted by: The Warden on August 5, 2005 02:55 PM

OW, google up the BLS website. They've got everything you need. If I get a minute I'll link you here.

Now, which picture is supposed to be the hot one?

Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:26 PM
Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:28 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

She needs a What Not to Wear While Mostly Undressed intervention.

Posted by: Victoria on August 5, 2005 03:29 PM

Ace! You bigot! Where are the HOT ASS shots of JASON! WOOF!

Speaking of WOOF, Jason's venture into teen wolf 2 was filmed exlusively at my college in claremont, ca (Pomona College--#4 in the nation!).

Posted by: Aaron of Lifelike Pundits on August 5, 2005 03:34 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

Guys like old-school underwear. Because we all grew up on Benny Hill.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 03:42 PM

No joke about Benny Hill. An amazing cultural influence.

I keep a little old bald guy around just so I can slap the top of his head when I geet annoyed.

Posted by: The Colossus on August 5, 2005 03:45 PM

Justine Bateman is more like it but can you turn her around? It's difficult to hold a throbbling funmuscle while trying to look upside down.

Posted by: 72 Dogs on August 5, 2005 03:51 PM

Eww. That Jason pic is hoooorible.
I don't think he's sexy anyway, but when I see that picture I can imagine he smells bad.
He needs a flea dip and a shave.

Posted by: lauraw on August 5, 2005 05:38 PM

If you think Flavia Colgan is hot, you need a cold shower before the trip to the optician that you've been putting off for 10 years.

Posted by: Brian C. on August 5, 2005 08:29 PM

No way, dude, Flavia is totally hot. Any shower spent thinking about her is automaticall lukewarm at least. Though it helps that she is an agent of evil. If she were just a normal person it wouldn't be as exciting.

Posted by: Alex on August 5, 2005 11:43 PM

Glah! You're making me long for CNR, Ace. At least with him you get colorful neck scarves.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on August 6, 2005 01:51 AM

That come hither look on filthy Jason Bateman...mmmm.
Let me set the scene;

There's a knock at my door.
I open it, and what I see before me is (that pic) a dirty hobo. He has his elbow up in some bizarre position, to prop up his nasty lice ridden head. He is smiling brightly at me.

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

SLAM

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 09:25 AM

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

...As you stand transfixed, watching the bug walk out of one of his nostrils, across his face, and into his ear...

Posted by: Dogstar on August 6, 2005 10:01 AM

Sincerely, that there's an ad for keeping a loaded shotgun behind the door at all times.

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 12:37 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
American Eagle Outfitters has a new ad with Sidney Sweeney, and you are going to like it. [CBD]
OG Blogger Jeff Dunetz passes at age 67
I thought I told everyone to stop dying.
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Israel protects the Druze, and Western Culture, Tulsi Gabbard is tenacious, NYC's mayoral race is a catastrophe, The Democrat Lying Machine, and more!
Are your Hot Balls ruining your health? Maybe you need to put those sad droopers on ice.
Most studies about overheated testicles look at semen production and fertility, but it also seems likely that too-hot crotch-knockers result in lowered tesosterone, too.
Ryan Long makes fun of NYC lefties for bragging that they can "handle" living amidst garbage, rats, hobos and murder while p*ssies like you just take the easy way out and move to orderly, pleasant places
At Budokan Mystery Click
Now I had heard the WACs
recruited old maids for the war
But mommy's neither one of those
I've known her all these years

Maybe I'll stop linking obscurities and start linking more crowd pleasers.
If you can stand the sight of Dan Rather, three members of the band talk about how they got famous in Japan before they ever even played in Japan. Hint: Manga.
Malcolm Jamal-Warner, the son on The Cosby Show, dies of drowning at age 54: reports
Warner was in Costa Rica on a family vacation and drowned while swimming near Cocles after allegedly being caught by a high current on Sunday afternoon. The incident occurred between 2 and 2:30 p.m. local time.
Costa Rican National Police told The Post that Warner was pulled from the water by people in the area and taken to shore, where the Costa Rica Red Cross tried to revive him but were unsuccessful in their efforts.
His body was taken to the morgue at San Joaquin de Flores for an autopsy. The cause of death is listed as asphyxiation by "submersion."
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
Hint: Chopper noises on an oscillator/synthesizer
City nights, summer breeze makes you feel all right
Neon lights, shining brightly, make your brain ignite
See the girls with the dresses so tight
Give you love Give you love if the price is right
Black or white, in the streets, there's no wrong and no right, no!
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: The economy is good, and tariffs aren't causing inflation! Is selling arms to Europe for Ukraine any better? AI spells the end of the Green Energy boondoggle, Epstein's getting boring, And ICE needs to be unleashed!
Susie Wiles brings calm to Trump admin -- helping the president rack up wins When was the last time you saw her name in the media? Is it possible that the grownups are now in charge? [CBD]
Update on Jasmine Ratchet: The DEI Dum-Dumb is eyeing a Senate run, because why should Robert Francis "Beto" O'Rourke get paid millions every two years to get blown out in the Texas senatorial election? Shouldn't she get some of that sweet sweet Act Blue graft?
Crockett addressed the possibility in an Instagram post where she said she would make a decision "depending on how many people reach out," but that her main focus has been legislating in the House of Representatives.
The post came after a poll from the National Republican Senatorial Committee was published showing that she was leading the pack of candidates with 35 percent in a hypothetical primary and was leading former Senate candidate Colin Allred, who was at 20 percent, per the Latin Times.

The Republican Senatorial Committee claims that she's ahead? LOL, that might be a little troll-poll.
Recent Comments
JTB: "TRex, Thanks for the thread. Always so much fun ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "Since thread has been declared over. Thailand and ..."

[i]Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Point&Laugh! Point&Laugh! Point&Laugh![/i][: " Time to go put a sharper edge on our gardening t ..."

PabloD: "It's a big SOTA weekend here in southern Oregon. ..."

The Grateful : "Mr E, I hope you took Mrs E to Lowes....prayers up ..."

JTB: "I find Hobby Lobby is a dangerous place with all t ..."

Bulg: "Later, TRex! ..."

Eromero: "158 Mr E, I hope you took Mrs E to Lowes....prayer ..."

TRex -anyone need a restroom token?: "Time to say good night and thank you before the ne ..."

rhomboid: "Wouldn't spend the time to visit Shizuoka on a tri ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "Thirteen ft. for a day sailor is kind of small.? ..."

JackStraw: ">>You do love the sea . I would have been stuck in ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives