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« "Vaginas R' Us" | Main | The Benefits of a Cleric-Run, Religous-Maniac Culture: Islamic Videogame Company Invents Galaga In 2005 »
August 05, 2005

Cowbell! More Cowbell For My Centurions!

July Job Growth Better-Than-Predicted At 207,000 New Jobs; June and May's Jobs Numbers Revised Upwards By 42,000

Golden diapahs, babies. Golden diapahs.

Democratic Spokesbabe Flavia Colgan called the job creation figures "inadequate." "The corrupt and illegal Bush Administration can try to fool the American people with its 'numbers' and 'stats' and 'proveable facts,' but the American people are smarter than that."

She paused for a moment to part her lips in a subtly sexy manner. "The American people know the economy is just like the Billy Joel classic Allentown, except it doesn't have a good beat and you can't dance to it."

Miss Flavia then announced she had to go, as she was late for Hotness Class.

Thanks to Running At the Mouth.

Justine Bateman Pics After The Jump: Okay, don't knock me because this first one isn't sexy. She's a little girl in it. But I think it's cute, because she's posing with a very-young Jason Bateman.

Update: And one shot of Jason Bateman as an adult.


But I can't leave it at that, so here's a hot one:

mallory2.bmp

As Michael J. Fox would say: "Mallory... Mall-o-ryyy...!"

For The Ladies and/or Aaron and Other Homos:

First one I found. Looks okay in it. I like the Good-Guys-In-The-Road-Warrior shirt. He just needs a compound bow and he's all set to defend the guzzoline.

posted by Ace at 02:21 PM
Comments



Are you talking about Flavia Colgan? For a Harvard/UPenn grad, she's a total moron.

In the words of Ted Kennedy, "raise the bar!!!!" Not that bar...

I hope she didn't really say the whole, "numbers and stats" don't trump my "cute metaphors." Although, I have a bad feeling she did.

Posted by: Charles on August 5, 2005 02:24 PM

Didn't we vote for cheesake over cowbell?

Posted by: 72 Card Monte on August 5, 2005 02:28 PM

No, I made that up. Thanks for telling me her last name.

72,

Go beyond the jump.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 02:30 PM

Mallory can arrest my development any time... Wait that doesn't even make sense... Uh, I'd like to tie up her family... That was even worse... I'd like to master that Bateman... Shoot, just ignore this whole post.

Note to self: leave humor to the semi-professionals and don't start heavy drinking until at least 5.

Posted by: JFH on August 5, 2005 02:40 PM

Krugman is probably hiding in a closet right now, crying and sucking his thumb.

Posted by: Monty on August 5, 2005 02:45 PM

Hey Ace,

Do you have or do you know where I can find a roll up of GDP and Jobs for the period starting Jan 1999 through the current?

I have need of a fact club to bludgeon numerous ignorant (is there any other kind) LLL on the matter...

Thanks!

Posted by: Outlaw_Wizard on August 5, 2005 02:53 PM

My neck hurts.

Posted by: The Warden on August 5, 2005 02:55 PM

OW, google up the BLS website. They've got everything you need. If I get a minute I'll link you here.

Now, which picture is supposed to be the hot one?

Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:26 PM
Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:28 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

She needs a What Not to Wear While Mostly Undressed intervention.

Posted by: Victoria on August 5, 2005 03:29 PM

Ace! You bigot! Where are the HOT ASS shots of JASON! WOOF!

Speaking of WOOF, Jason's venture into teen wolf 2 was filmed exlusively at my college in claremont, ca (Pomona College--#4 in the nation!).

Posted by: Aaron of Lifelike Pundits on August 5, 2005 03:34 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

Guys like old-school underwear. Because we all grew up on Benny Hill.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 03:42 PM

No joke about Benny Hill. An amazing cultural influence.

I keep a little old bald guy around just so I can slap the top of his head when I geet annoyed.

Posted by: The Colossus on August 5, 2005 03:45 PM

Justine Bateman is more like it but can you turn her around? It's difficult to hold a throbbling funmuscle while trying to look upside down.

Posted by: 72 Dogs on August 5, 2005 03:51 PM

Eww. That Jason pic is hoooorible.
I don't think he's sexy anyway, but when I see that picture I can imagine he smells bad.
He needs a flea dip and a shave.

Posted by: lauraw on August 5, 2005 05:38 PM

If you think Flavia Colgan is hot, you need a cold shower before the trip to the optician that you've been putting off for 10 years.

Posted by: Brian C. on August 5, 2005 08:29 PM

No way, dude, Flavia is totally hot. Any shower spent thinking about her is automaticall lukewarm at least. Though it helps that she is an agent of evil. If she were just a normal person it wouldn't be as exciting.

Posted by: Alex on August 5, 2005 11:43 PM

Glah! You're making me long for CNR, Ace. At least with him you get colorful neck scarves.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on August 6, 2005 01:51 AM

That come hither look on filthy Jason Bateman...mmmm.
Let me set the scene;

There's a knock at my door.
I open it, and what I see before me is (that pic) a dirty hobo. He has his elbow up in some bizarre position, to prop up his nasty lice ridden head. He is smiling brightly at me.

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

SLAM

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 09:25 AM

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

...As you stand transfixed, watching the bug walk out of one of his nostrils, across his face, and into his ear...

Posted by: Dogstar on August 6, 2005 10:01 AM

Sincerely, that there's an ad for keeping a loaded shotgun behind the door at all times.

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 12:37 PM
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