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August 05, 2005

Cowbell! More Cowbell For My Centurions!

July Job Growth Better-Than-Predicted At 207,000 New Jobs; June and May's Jobs Numbers Revised Upwards By 42,000

Golden diapahs, babies. Golden diapahs.

Democratic Spokesbabe Flavia Colgan called the job creation figures "inadequate." "The corrupt and illegal Bush Administration can try to fool the American people with its 'numbers' and 'stats' and 'proveable facts,' but the American people are smarter than that."

She paused for a moment to part her lips in a subtly sexy manner. "The American people know the economy is just like the Billy Joel classic Allentown, except it doesn't have a good beat and you can't dance to it."

Miss Flavia then announced she had to go, as she was late for Hotness Class.

Thanks to Running At the Mouth.

Justine Bateman Pics After The Jump: Okay, don't knock me because this first one isn't sexy. She's a little girl in it. But I think it's cute, because she's posing with a very-young Jason Bateman.

Update: And one shot of Jason Bateman as an adult.

But I can't leave it at that, so here's a hot one:

As Michael J. Fox would say: "Mallory... Mall-o-ryyy...!"

For The Ladies and/or Aaron and Other Homos:

First one I found. Looks okay in it. I like the Good-Guys-In-The-Road-Warrior shirt. He just needs a compound bow and he's all set to defend the guzzoline.

posted by Ace at 02:21 PM

Comments

Are you talking about Flavia Colgan? For a Harvard/UPenn grad, she's a total moron.

In the words of Ted Kennedy, "raise the bar!!!!" Not that bar...

I hope she didn't really say the whole, "numbers and stats" don't trump my "cute metaphors." Although, I have a bad feeling she did.

Posted by: Charles on August 5, 2005 02:24 PM

Didn't we vote for cheesake over cowbell?

Posted by: 72 Card Monte on August 5, 2005 02:28 PM

No, I made that up. Thanks for telling me her last name.

72,

Go beyond the jump.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 02:30 PM

Mallory can arrest my development any time... Wait that doesn't even make sense... Uh, I'd like to tie up her family... That was even worse... I'd like to master that Bateman... Shoot, just ignore this whole post.

Note to self: leave humor to the semi-professionals and don't start heavy drinking until at least 5.

Posted by: JFH on August 5, 2005 02:40 PM

Krugman is probably hiding in a closet right now, crying and sucking his thumb.

Posted by: Monty on August 5, 2005 02:45 PM

Hey Ace,

Do you have or do you know where I can find a roll up of GDP and Jobs for the period starting Jan 1999 through the current?

I have need of a fact club to bludgeon numerous ignorant (is there any other kind) LLL on the matter...

Thanks!

Posted by: Outlaw_Wizard on August 5, 2005 02:53 PM

My neck hurts.

Posted by: The Warden on August 5, 2005 02:55 PM

OW, google up the BLS website. They've got everything you need. If I get a minute I'll link you here.

Now, which picture is supposed to be the hot one?

Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:26 PM

Seriously, everything.

Posted by: spongeworthy on August 5, 2005 03:28 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

She needs a What Not to Wear While Mostly Undressed intervention.

Posted by: Victoria on August 5, 2005 03:29 PM

Ace! You bigot! Where are the HOT ASS shots of JASON! WOOF!

Speaking of WOOF, Jason's venture into teen wolf 2 was filmed exlusively at my college in claremont, ca (Pomona College--#4 in the nation!).

Posted by: Aaron of Lifelike Pundits on August 5, 2005 03:34 PM

I don't understand why Miss Bateman is wearing a girdle in all those cheesecake photos. They had no non-granny panties on set?

Guys like old-school underwear. Because we all grew up on Benny Hill.

Posted by: ace on August 5, 2005 03:42 PM

No joke about Benny Hill. An amazing cultural influence.

I keep a little old bald guy around just so I can slap the top of his head when I geet annoyed.

Posted by: The Colossus on August 5, 2005 03:45 PM

Justine Bateman is more like it but can you turn her around? It's difficult to hold a throbbling funmuscle while trying to look upside down.

Posted by: 72 Dogs on August 5, 2005 03:51 PM

Eww. That Jason pic is hoooorible.
I don't think he's sexy anyway, but when I see that picture I can imagine he smells bad.
He needs a flea dip and a shave.

Posted by: lauraw on August 5, 2005 05:38 PM

If you think Flavia Colgan is hot, you need a cold shower before the trip to the optician that you've been putting off for 10 years.

Posted by: Brian C. on August 5, 2005 08:29 PM

No way, dude, Flavia is totally hot. Any shower spent thinking about her is automaticall lukewarm at least. Though it helps that she is an agent of evil. If she were just a normal person it wouldn't be as exciting.

Posted by: Alex on August 5, 2005 11:43 PM

Glah! You're making me long for CNR, Ace. At least with him you get colorful neck scarves.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on August 6, 2005 01:51 AM

That come hither look on filthy Jason Bateman...mmmm.
Let me set the scene;

There's a knock at my door.
I open it, and what I see before me is (that pic) a dirty hobo. He has his elbow up in some bizarre position, to prop up his nasty lice ridden head. He is smiling brightly at me.

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

SLAM

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 09:25 AM

"Good morning, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have an egg sandwich I could borrow?"

...As you stand transfixed, watching the bug walk out of one of his nostrils, across his face, and into his ear...

Posted by: Dogstar on August 6, 2005 10:01 AM

Sincerely, that there's an ad for keeping a loaded shotgun behind the door at all times.

Posted by: lauraw on August 6, 2005 12:37 PM

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Top Headlines

Space Ice: Batman & Robin
Space Ice has avoided all superhero movies (I think) in the past, but now that he's out of Steven Seagal movies, he might have to transition. Or maybe he's just covering it because it's Arnold.
Wrong! He's done Madame Web and Morbius and probably a bunch more I've forgotten.

"How dumb do you have to be to get rejected from The View?!?!"

Podcast: President Trump's
Big Beautiful Bill...isn't, Congress shirks its responsibility again (shocker!), Boulder should be an overdue wake-up call for Jews in America, should Israel sink Thunberg's boat? And more!

ICE's acting director blasts Massachusetts criminal enablers: "Officials would rather release s*x offenders, fentanyl dealers, human traffickers and child r*pists back into the neighborhoods."

Legacy media isn’t just fake news, it’s also full of Hamas-sourced, terrorist propaganda: Fox News, AP, CNN, Others Ran With Massive Hamas-Sourced Fake News, Then the Surveillance Video Came Out. “Multiple press outlets…ran with a report early Sunday morning claiming Israeli forces randomly opened fire on civilians gathered to collect aid. Sourced by ‘health officials’ and ‘witnesses,’ the claim involved dozens being killed and ‘at least’ 175 injured.” It wasn’t true. But our loathsome media wanted it to be true, so they reported it anyway. [Buck]

MORE COWBELL: TRUMP CHOPS TRADE DEFICIT IN HALF

Karoline Leavitt
@PressSec

President Donald J. Trump's economic agenda is working: inflation is down, income is up, and the trade deficit just fell by the largest amount on record.

Today's economic report follows multiple robust jobs reports, below-expectation inflation reports, and a strong bump in consumer confidence.

President Trump continues to prove doomsday "experts: wrong with his America First economic agenda that's delivering for the American people.

HUGE: INFLATION FALLS TO 0.1%, OR 2.1% FOR THE YEAR -- JUST OVER THE FED'S 2.0% GOAL
Will the partisan fed chief continue insisting that he has to keep interest rates jacked up?
Also remember that personal income is surging, apparently without creating too much price inflation

Personal income surges under Trump, after years of falling under Professor PoopedHisPants

(Link Fixed) Glenn Reynolds on ~~the elites~~ the Glittering Mediocrities finally having heard the dissatisfaction from the Actually Productive Classes with the 2024 third election of Donald Trump:

Well, now they've heard it, and they've also heard that a lot of Americans resent the meritocrats' insulation from what's happening elsewhere, especially as America's unfortunate record over the past couple of decades, whether in economics, in politics, or in foreign policy, doesn't suggest that the "meritocracy" is overflowing with, you know, actual merit.
In the United States, the result has been Trump. In Britain, the result was Brexit. In both cases, the allegedly elite -- who are supposed to be cool, considered, and above the vulgar passions of the masses -- went more or less crazy. From conspiracy theories (it was the Russians!) to bizarre escape fantasies (A Brexit vote redo! A military coup to oust Trump!) the cognitive elite suddenly didn't seem especially elite, or for that matter particularly cognitive.
In fact, while America was losing wars abroad and jobs at home, elites seemed focused on things that were, well, faintly ridiculous. As Richard Fernandez tweeted: "The elites lost their mojo by becoming absurd. It happened on the road between cultural appropriation and transgender bathrooms." It was fatal: "People believe from instinct. The Roman gods became ridiculous when the Roman emperors did. PC is the equivalent of Caligula's horse."

No way! Freed hostage reveals which presidential candidate his terrorist captors wanted to win the 2024 election. Would you believe Hamas are fans of Kamala Harris?

Biden on reports of his mental and physical decline: "I'm mentally incompetent, I can't walk, and I can beat the hell out of both of them"
By "both of them," he means Tapper and Thompson. Biden has been bragging he can beat people up for a long time. The older he gets, the bigger his Dementia Muscles get.
I think he's trying to be sarcastic but he's finally telling the truth. More:

REPORTER: There's also been a lot of discussion recently about your mental and physical capabilities while you were in office.

BIDEN: You can see that I'm mentally incompetent and I can't walk, and I can beat the hell out of both of them.

REPORTER: Do you want to reply to any of those reports, and also to the fact that there are some Democrats who are now questioning whether you should have run for reelection in the first place?

BIDEN: Why didn't they run against me then? Because I'd have beaten them.

REPORTER: Do you have any regrets?

BIDEN: No, I don't have any regrets.

Note that a "journalist" opened this line of questioning by asserting, WITHOUT EVIDENCE, that Biden "looks good" and "speaks powerfully."
But how could they report that? Did they have insiders confirming that? Did they have a medical doctor certifying he "looks good" and "speaks powerfully?"

Biden gives shpeesh on "American democrashhy" which includes lots of unhinged yelling, a weird triple repetition of the same line, and coughing
Jake Tapper says you can't report that he continues to slur his words without a Democrat Party-approved expert confirming that he's slurring words, or a Biden insider admitting it

Forgotten "80s" Mystery Click
You are gold... and... silver!
BTW, the movie is dogsh*t. You just saw the only three minutes worth watching.

Sweden begins to realize that wind power is not the solution that a 15-year-old uneducated autistic mentally-ill troll-girl promised them it was
Oddly enough!

Forgotten 70s Non-Musical Sci-Fi Mystery Click
Anyone remember this? The author licensed a bunch of covers from sci-fi books and packaged them as a supposed guide to Spacecraft: 2000 to 2100 AD, published by the "Terran Trade Authority," along with fictitious ship names and made-up specifications.

Podcast: CBD and J.J. Sefton rip Michael Steele for being an absolute fool, the economy is looking good, Harvard is looking bad, we are bored with Ukraine, and more!

New Armed Forces Recruiting Video [CBD]

New advance in materials science: Superwood!

Finland 'preparing for the worst' amid major Russian military expansion
Would this be happening had we not brought Finland into NATO? [CBD]

Trans High School Track & Field Athlete Dominates, Qualifies For California State Finals In Multiple Events
And Governor Hair -Gel has done nothing! Way to kill your presidential aspirations! [CBD]