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August 05, 2005
Is It Real or Is It Scrappleface?Sudan Rape Victims Get Free Copy of UN Report (2005-07-29) -- In another display of the value of the United Nations, Secretary-General Kofi Annan today announced that women brutally raped by Sudanese government forces would each receive a free copy of the latest report documenting the widespread, savage abuse. Environmental activist and general pain-in-the-ass Sting immediately announced plans for a "LiveRape" concert, to better inform Sudanese women about the rapes they are experiencing on a daily basis. Slated to perform: "Stinky." Thanks to Fat Kid. Sorry For The Confusion: This actually is Scrappleface, not real. The headline was meant to suggest that it's hard to tell the difference. But please be aware the quotes are all fake. posted by Ace at 01:59 PM
Commentsyeah, it's a crappy gig. but it's a gig. Posted by: Dave in Sudan on August 5, 2005 02:14 PM
"This is why the United Nations is so desperately needed in today's world. We will continue to take bold action in producing reports on the rape and abuse of Sudanese women. "bold action in producing reports" ??? Is it just me or do the words bold action and report not belong together? Silly me, I thought bold action might be something like putting UN peacekeeper troops into Sudan to STOP THE MUTHERFUCKERS FROM RAPING AND KILLING IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!!! Posted by: 72 dogs on August 5, 2005 02:55 PM
Why does Kofi think he needs to defend the existance of the UN? I thought American conservatives were the only knuckle dragging mouth breathers in the world who thought the UN was a sham. Posted by: Dacotti on August 5, 2005 03:31 PM
I guess everyone missed the joke. Posted by: fat kid on August 5, 2005 03:47 PM
Lesson #1: Check the link address before going apeshit. Posted by: Dogstar on August 5, 2005 03:49 PM
Thanks Dogstar. The one thing I've learned from my experiences blogging (and on Fark), is you've got to do your own friggin research. Whether it be passing along hoax emails, or spreading rumors, or whatever - trust, but verify is the name of the game. Posted by: fat kid on August 5, 2005 04:41 PM
"Whether it be passing along hoax emails, or spreading rumors, or whatever - trust, but verify is the name of the game' This from the guy who put up the tub girl link :) I still have nightmares about that! Posted by: BrewFan on August 5, 2005 04:48 PM
LOLOL - you coulda googled "tub girl" to see wth i was talkin about - or even bounced it off wikipedia to see it listed under "shock sites" - hehe. Regardless, that's one of the better zingers out there. The ongoing argument is between it and goatse. The Gov't actually took goatse offline - LMFAO - classic. Posted by: fat kid on August 5, 2005 05:44 PM
Goatse is gone? *frantically googling* Posted by: Michael on August 5, 2005 09:08 PM
I admit to having no idea what goatse is. I also have no desire to know :) Posted by: BrewFan on August 5, 2005 09:58 PM
"I admit to having no idea what goatse is. I also have no desire to know " Just as well, Brewfan. Once you've been there, you'll never be the same. Posted by: Michael on August 6, 2005 12:16 AM
If it's the three old guys, then let's just say it's three old guys, and let it go at that. Posted by: Dogstar on August 6, 2005 12:23 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy America
"All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb."
Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit. Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?) I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.
TJM definitively ranks the films of Andrei Tarkovsky and explains the joys of discovering older movies over anticipating new ones.
Via Archimedes:
Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter More at this ineffable link
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I haven't forgotten this one. I play it a couple of times a month. But I bet a lot of you forgot it: Athletic (boogie down) Hustle (turn back) Feel pathetic (sugar town) No muscle (soul hack) I'm jumping (you move) No dancer (beside me) I'm thumping (you prove) Don't get no answer
On "Professor" Arday:
He was their living lawn jockey, period. They won't say that 'cause they're sensitive and down with his struggle and all. He was there to appease and flatter their sense of being uplifters of the oppressed. In truth, he served as their living lawn jockey -- no more, no less, and unworthy of even a second thought on their part. Tokenism, pure and simple.-- Krebs v Carnot
Ireland's 'Air Force One' lacks a key safety system for fog -- thanks to country's ban on Israeli products
Ireland's best emigrated 150 years ago. The current Ireland is a sad joke. [CBD]
The Short Unhappy Life of a Russian Soldier: Why recruits die in 20-30 minutes
Interesting video. Some key parts: drones were responsible for 70-80% of all battlefield deaths in mid-2025, and I bet it's higher now. The Russian army is incredibly corrupt. Men get assigned to the most dangerous frontline units, the "Storm" units, unless they pay a superior $2,000 to be assigned to a different unit. Furthermore, there is often no real training for recruits -- commanders pocket the money that would have gone towards fuel and ammo costs incurred during training. Much "training" consists just of taking a single picture of soldiers doing something soldier-y, like fording a river, and publishing that as proof that the training was done. Even when it is done, training is only two weeks long. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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