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August 02, 2005
How BBeck Spent Her WeekendThis looks like something I've linked before, but it seems a little different. It's re-edited, and there are special effects in it, including, yes, a LIGHTNING BOLT! and what looks to be some sort of "curing spell." And a beholder. And crunchy heavy-metal music. Thanks to See Dubya. And, since I'm relinking old stuff on the D&D tip that I think I linked a while ago, here's Patton Oswald in an episode of Reno 9-11 explaining why he shot his friend with an actual crossbow bolt while playing Dungeons & Dragons. Okay, he says the arrow was "enchanted with a Magic Missile spell," which is a mistake, because Magic Missile just shoots a little blob of energy; you don't cast it on an arrow. I point this out not to say "Hah, hah, you got it wrong," but rather to suggest they knew this but deliberately got it wrong so they could pretend they don't know the game that well. See, I sometimes do that too. Thanks to Gregory for that. One More Great Old One: A Jack Chick parody about Lord Cthulhu-- "Who Will Be Eatan First? (Zip file.) Great Old One. Cthulhu. Come on, give it up. I'm a geek Oscar Wilde. Thanks to Evan. posted by Ace at 05:16 PM
CommentsThat's almost as freaky as clown sex. I suppose bbeck is into that as well. Posted by: compos mentis on August 2, 2005 05:38 PM
Slipping a few real edged weapons into the mix would result in:
Posted by: apotheosis on August 2, 2005 05:53 PM
I'm at a complete loss for words... Posted by: tony on August 2, 2005 05:59 PM
Ace, you're making me all sweaty. Work in Nyarlthotep, and I might just have to do you like a Viking. Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on August 2, 2005 06:18 PM
I actually had a LARP manual when it was in its infancy, back in my high-school days. It had the odor of a good idea, but it didn't take long to figure out it's just that--a distinctive smell. It combines the worst parts of SCA--really crappy costumes and weapons--with the worst parts of D&D--keeping track of spells and hitpoints and talking in bad English accents with people you wouldn't share a locker with. There's little surprise that it never caught on except among the unbreedables. Posted by: rho on August 2, 2005 06:19 PM
Ace..with all the reposts you might as well add the Beatallica ode ("The Thing That Would Not Let It Be") to Cthulhu as well. Rock on. Posted by: Jack M. on August 2, 2005 06:22 PM
Ace? Hello Ace? You can stop confusing me and the SCA with LARPers ANY...F***ING...TIME...NOW. We've had this discussion before. Later, Posted by: bbeck on August 2, 2005 07:35 PM
Awesome. That pegged the needle on the unintended comedy-ometer. The best moment of irony was the end, after the fight with the Kool-aid mascot/beholder, while standing under someone's mom's Christmas lights, panning over to some guy the Chess Club used to pants. One of the actors says (in all seriousness): "COOL!" Posted by: Ayes of Death David on August 2, 2005 08:52 PM
I love that BBeck is so insistent on the distinction between LARPing and SCAing. Meet the old dork, same as the new dork. Posted by: ace on August 2, 2005 09:24 PM
I love that BBeck is so insistent on the distinction between LARPing and SCAing. Priceless. Almost like the Trekkies who get really annoyed when you call them "Trekkies," insisting that you instead refer to them as "Trekkers." Posted by: Alex on August 2, 2005 09:27 PM
What's that scritching sound I hear in the walls? Posted by: Dave in Tejas on August 2, 2005 10:19 PM
Unbelievably geeky, but ya know what? I betcha they had a blast doing it. Posted by: Enas Yorl on August 2, 2005 10:27 PM
I love that BBeck is so insistent on the distinction between LARPing and SCAing. Ace, I just expect you to have a little more veracity than that. Not MUCH, mind you, but a little. Or do you really not GET the differences? Meet the old dork, same as the new dork. Shoot, Ace, if you're going to start blurring lines this badly, count yourself in, fellow dork, because you've played DnD, the Lazy Man's LARPing. Meet the old dork, same as new dork, indeed! Almost like the Trekkies who get really annoyed when you call them "Trekkies," insisting that you instead refer to them as "Trekkers." Heh, Alex, Trekkies and Trekkers ARE the same. And they're fun to taunt. Later, Posted by: bbeck on August 3, 2005 01:06 AM
I do see a difference... but it's about the same difference between D&D and GURPs. Okay, SCA is, um, a competition of some sort. But it's still... come on, it's dorky. You've got a little dork in you. Would you like a little more? Sorry, old joke, had to use it. Posted by: ace on August 3, 2005 01:39 AM
"I'm tiny! I'll go in!" What? Just quoting the video, folks. Posted by: See-Dub on August 3, 2005 01:43 AM
LOL@Ace. ...but it's about the same difference between D&D and GURPs. Er, no. It's the difference between playing in a fantasy world and duplicating history. That's more than just a difference between gaming systems. Okay, SCA is, um, a competition of some sort. Gee whiz, Ace, I REALLY need to take you to an event. It's a LOT more than that. But it's still... come on, it's dorky. Oh no doubt! I embrace my Inner Dork (have you seen what "normal" people are like?), just call me one for the right reasons. That's all I ask. :) Later, Posted by: bbeck on August 3, 2005 01:49 AM
I embrace my Inner Dork Posted by: apotheosis on August 3, 2005 10:15 AM
Holy...(falls off chair laughing). Posted by: Mikey on August 3, 2005 12:49 PM
Kegels are the best. Now that's just DIRTY. :) Later, Posted by: bbeck on August 3, 2005 02:32 PM
ACE - When you ran from the cops, you should've said: I'm wearing boots of escape impervious to 9mm and .40 cal bullets. Posted by: 72 cartridges in a pear tree on August 3, 2005 03:30 PM
I can't believe these nerds got a couple girls to be in that trainwreck. Seems like Deep Woods Off for girls to me. Posted by: fugazi on August 3, 2005 04:05 PM
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Lost Seventies Mystery Click: The Darkest Song Ever Recorded?
I think Professor of Rock (on YouTube) claimed this song was so upsetting that people used to pull over to the side of the road when it came on the radio. It's about a fatal plane crash, but obviously it suggests a fatal car crash too, which could wig out a driver. It's like one of those nasty 70s anti-war body horror movies. Not for the squeamish. I'm not even going to post the lyrics because they're upsetting too.
Compilation of Naked Gun intros
That theme gets me charged. Compilation of all Police Squad! openings. They're all the same except for the last few seconds where they reveal the Special Guest Star and the title(s).
Pitch Meeting: Amazon's new, terrible War of the Worlds
I don't know why these tech monopolists spend so much money on ripoff/sequel/remake slop. I like popcorn entertainment but is it legally required to be terrible?
Lost 90s Mystery Click: College Radio Edition
Well you look fantastic in your cast-off casket At least the thing still runs This nine to five bullshit don't let you forget Whose suicide you're on. Also: You wax poetic about things pathetic As long as you look so cute Believe these hills are starting to roll Believe these stars are starting to shoot ![]()
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Garrett's Favorite Band Edition
Everybody wants you Everybody wants your love I'd just like to make you mine, all mine
Baylor Coach Dave Aranda Apologizes for 'Ableism' After Using the Word 'Midget'
Well, he is also disabled...he is a eunuch [CBD] I'm frankly surprised the title is 107 Days. I would have thought it would be:
Soft weak poop from the early 80s Mystery Click
I never liked this song, but it is memorable. In a weak, annoying way. The kid's in shock up and down the block The folks are home playing beat the clock Down at the golden cup They set the young ones up Under the neon light Selling day for night It's alright Nobody rides for free (nobody, nobody) Nobody gets it like they want it to be (nobody, nobody) Nobody hands you any guarantee (nobody, nobody) Nobody
Flashback: UCLA allows terror-supporting thugs to set up and maintain checkpoints to keep Jews out of campus buildings
More video of the anti-Jewish checkpoints A major university allowed this and defended this.
Earthquake off Russian coast sends tsunami waves towards Hawaii:
Nick Sortor Coastal evacuation ordered in Honolulu Warnings for the California coast as well. Impact expected at 12:15
Former CIA operative John Kiriakou talks with Matt Taibbi about the Brennan/Comey Coup
Both guys are old liberals, maybe even of the far-left variety, and both are appalled by the Democrat/Deep State coup against the US. Kiriakou says that CIA officers were legally obligated to report to the Inspector General John Brennan's repeated overruling of actual intelligence to encode his partisan conspiracy theories into US intel product, but of course they didn't. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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