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August 02, 2005
How BBeck Spent Her WeekendThis looks like something I've linked before, but it seems a little different. It's re-edited, and there are special effects in it, including, yes, a LIGHTNING BOLT! and what looks to be some sort of "curing spell." And a beholder. And crunchy heavy-metal music. Thanks to See Dubya. And, since I'm relinking old stuff on the D&D tip that I think I linked a while ago, here's Patton Oswald in an episode of Reno 9-11 explaining why he shot his friend with an actual crossbow bolt while playing Dungeons & Dragons. Okay, he says the arrow was "enchanted with a Magic Missile spell," which is a mistake, because Magic Missile just shoots a little blob of energy; you don't cast it on an arrow. I point this out not to say "Hah, hah, you got it wrong," but rather to suggest they knew this but deliberately got it wrong so they could pretend they don't know the game that well. See, I sometimes do that too. Thanks to Gregory for that. One More Great Old One: A Jack Chick parody about Lord Cthulhu-- "Who Will Be Eatan First? (Zip file.) Great Old One. Cthulhu. Come on, give it up. I'm a geek Oscar Wilde. Thanks to Evan. posted by Ace at 05:16 PM
CommentsThat's almost as freaky as clown sex. I suppose bbeck is into that as well. Posted by: compos mentis on August 2, 2005 05:38 PM
Slipping a few real edged weapons into the mix would result in:
Posted by: apotheosis on August 2, 2005 05:53 PM
I'm at a complete loss for words... Posted by: tony on August 2, 2005 05:59 PM
Ace, you're making me all sweaty. Work in Nyarlthotep, and I might just have to do you like a Viking. Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on August 2, 2005 06:18 PM
I actually had a LARP manual when it was in its infancy, back in my high-school days. It had the odor of a good idea, but it didn't take long to figure out it's just that--a distinctive smell. It combines the worst parts of SCA--really crappy costumes and weapons--with the worst parts of D&D--keeping track of spells and hitpoints and talking in bad English accents with people you wouldn't share a locker with. There's little surprise that it never caught on except among the unbreedables. Posted by: rho on August 2, 2005 06:19 PM
Ace..with all the reposts you might as well add the Beatallica ode ("The Thing That Would Not Let It Be") to Cthulhu as well. Rock on. Posted by: Jack M. on August 2, 2005 06:22 PM
Ace? Hello Ace? You can stop confusing me and the SCA with LARPers ANY...F***ING...TIME...NOW. We've had this discussion before. Later, Posted by: bbeck on August 2, 2005 07:35 PM
Awesome. That pegged the needle on the unintended comedy-ometer. The best moment of irony was the end, after the fight with the Kool-aid mascot/beholder, while standing under someone's mom's Christmas lights, panning over to some guy the Chess Club used to pants. One of the actors says (in all seriousness): "COOL!" Posted by: Ayes of Death David on August 2, 2005 08:52 PM
I love that BBeck is so insistent on the distinction between LARPing and SCAing. Meet the old dork, same as the new dork. Posted by: ace on August 2, 2005 09:24 PM
I love that BBeck is so insistent on the distinction between LARPing and SCAing. Priceless. Almost like the Trekkies who get really annoyed when you call them "Trekkies," insisting that you instead refer to them as "Trekkers." Posted by: Alex on August 2, 2005 09:27 PM
What's that scritching sound I hear in the walls? Posted by: Dave in Tejas on August 2, 2005 10:19 PM
Unbelievably geeky, but ya know what? I betcha they had a blast doing it. Posted by: Enas Yorl on August 2, 2005 10:27 PM
I love that BBeck is so insistent on the distinction between LARPing and SCAing. Ace, I just expect you to have a little more veracity than that. Not MUCH, mind you, but a little. Or do you really not GET the differences? Meet the old dork, same as the new dork. Shoot, Ace, if you're going to start blurring lines this badly, count yourself in, fellow dork, because you've played DnD, the Lazy Man's LARPing. Meet the old dork, same as new dork, indeed! Almost like the Trekkies who get really annoyed when you call them "Trekkies," insisting that you instead refer to them as "Trekkers." Heh, Alex, Trekkies and Trekkers ARE the same. And they're fun to taunt. Later, Posted by: bbeck on August 3, 2005 01:06 AM
I do see a difference... but it's about the same difference between D&D and GURPs. Okay, SCA is, um, a competition of some sort. But it's still... come on, it's dorky. You've got a little dork in you. Would you like a little more? Sorry, old joke, had to use it. Posted by: ace on August 3, 2005 01:39 AM
"I'm tiny! I'll go in!" What? Just quoting the video, folks. Posted by: See-Dub on August 3, 2005 01:43 AM
LOL@Ace. ...but it's about the same difference between D&D and GURPs. Er, no. It's the difference between playing in a fantasy world and duplicating history. That's more than just a difference between gaming systems. Okay, SCA is, um, a competition of some sort. Gee whiz, Ace, I REALLY need to take you to an event. It's a LOT more than that. But it's still... come on, it's dorky. Oh no doubt! I embrace my Inner Dork (have you seen what "normal" people are like?), just call me one for the right reasons. That's all I ask. :) Later, Posted by: bbeck on August 3, 2005 01:49 AM
I embrace my Inner Dork Posted by: apotheosis on August 3, 2005 10:15 AM
Holy...(falls off chair laughing). Posted by: Mikey on August 3, 2005 12:49 PM
Kegels are the best. Now that's just DIRTY. :) Later, Posted by: bbeck on August 3, 2005 02:32 PM
ACE - When you ran from the cops, you should've said: I'm wearing boots of escape impervious to 9mm and .40 cal bullets. Posted by: 72 cartridges in a pear tree on August 3, 2005 03:30 PM
I can't believe these nerds got a couple girls to be in that trainwreck. Seems like Deep Woods Off for girls to me. Posted by: fugazi on August 3, 2005 04:05 PM
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One race to keep an eye on: the Levi's heir nepo baby and egregious "Designated Liar" Dan Goldman -- one of the Democrats from a safe district Democrats send out to spread their most indefensible lies -- may actually lose his lower Manhattan/Brooklyn set due to, get this, antisemitism in the Democrat primary electorate.
Antisemitism? In the anti-Nazi Democrat Party? Sounds crazy, I know, but apparently the anti-Nazi Party wants to eliminate Jews. Henry Rosoff Oh my Totenkopf Tattoo, that is a DRUBBING! I'm usually very anti-antisemitism but if the Communist Antisemite Jihadists can pull this one off, Go Communist Antisemite Jihadists, Go!
Democrat Senator Rueben Gallego, who served his wife with divorce papers when she was nine months pregnant so that he could marry his side-piece, counsels us that we should not judge Graham Platner for his infidelity because these things are personal matters, Racists:
Sahil Kapur I like that he says that it's okay that Graham Platner sexted 12 different women within months of marrying the woman to sponge off her because he wasn't then "living a political life" -- the clear meaning being, "We all cheat, we just don't cheat when we're running for office, and he didn't know he was running for office when he was sending dicpics to half the women he ran into." Except he was running: His own wife turned the sexts over to his campaign. And obviously Reuben Gallego didn't let his "political life" get in the way of his extramarital dating life: ![]()
Funny -- if you don't mind clicking on TikTok. "Amy.Pranks.22" set up an AI scam-call screener which replies to a foreign scammer trying to get her bank information with Trumpian bluster. This might be fake because I don't see how a program can respond in real time, but it's funny.
Food Thread Pizza Dough Recipe
The ULA rocket just launched
Thanks to Joyenz The rocket's enormous engines are fueled by "the volcanic heterosexual lust between James Talarico and his Neighbor With a Uterus 'girlfriend'" I hope Amazon's rocket works better than the Amazon Prime app does as far as allowing people to watch the black and white version of "Spider-Noir" From the CA Post: Thanks to beckster
Just like "Spartacus" Corey Booker, now that James Talarico is running for a higher office, he unveils his previously-unknown "girlfriend" and hooboy, it just so happens she used to work for him, and, get this, likes to "dance the night away" at gay bars
Gee I wonder where they might have met Oh and she's a vegan When Corey Booker needed a "girlfriend," he conjured up known LGBTQ activist Rosario Dawson. How convenient that when these guys need a girlfriend to show off to the normies that just happen to find an activist with a strong history of and interest in Supporting Gay Men But seriously, this James Talarico romance with a Neighbor with a Uterus is a love story for the ages. The passion of their lovemaking is hotter than a blue star with a core of Primordial Sex Atoms created in the Big Bang
And just like that, #PunchANazi became Punch a Ballot for a Nazi
"Teen" charged with five counts of attempted murder after attempting to run down police officers with his car in yet another "teen takeover" permitted by woke racist incompetent Chicago mayor Brandon Johnson
Johnson's response to the "teen takeovers" of streets and businesses that he refuses to make arrests to stop is to go after social media companies for not deleting messages to coordinate the "teen takeovers." Um, they're supposed to find these messages and delete them in real time? It makes no sense but he has to offer an "alternative" plan to just arresting lawbreakers -- which he absolutely refuses to do, saying we "can't arrest our way out" of rampant crime.
Future Tucker Carlson guest James Talarico:
James Talarico He's referring to three mass attacks committed by white men in, oh, the past six or eight years. There were a huge number of mass shootings and bombings he had to skip over to cherry pick three committed by white men. Which kind of makes me think that "white men" are not the greatest terrorist threat in our country. No, I doubt he'll be a guest on Tucker Carlson. The only thing that Tucker clings to that he claims makes him "conservative" is a palpable hatred of gays. Any time there's a communist enslaving their population and executing dissenters and conservatives, Tucker praises that dictator by saying "at least he represses the homos!"
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Those of you who are longtime Not Watchers of Stephen Colbert will not enjoy this flashback of Colbert dancing with Chuck Schumer while wearing ostentatious covid masks
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