Ace of Spades HQ

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July 28, 2005

Uccchhhh

Oliver Willis, of course. His forte is mixing the juvenile with the cretinous.

This is part of his "Brand Dem" campaign, which I never really understood. What does it mean? Is he trying to make the Democratic "brand" hip, something the kids would wear rather than Tommy Hilfiger?

I don't know. I know it's not funny, that's for sure. And it seems ripe for photoshopping. If you've got alternative slogans, let me know, and I'll see if I can't get someone to take a couple of the best and "brand" it on the donkey through some easy photoshopping.

Thanks to Allah.

Update: Daily Lunch reminds me that there's a Re-Brand Dem site where you can do quickie "photoshops" to your heart's content.

First One Up...

From Scott.

posted by Ace at 01:00 PM

Comments

Um... Ace? You sure you got that link to Allah right? You may want to check it...

Posted by: Andy on July 28, 2005 01:03 PM

We many not have the media but we have the reality with a graphic of a donkey? How's that for backasswards!

Posted by: on July 28, 2005 01:04 PM

I think the link was to ace's other blog

Posted by: on July 28, 2005 01:06 PM

Instead of 'since 1794' put in:

RIP

1794-2004

Posted by: CUS on July 28, 2005 01:10 PM

Note the inconsistent use of quotation marks vis-a-vis the period at the end of each sentence. Too funny.

Posted by: Allah on July 28, 2005 01:14 PM

Loose shit on allah's link. You nailed a true terrorist. Heh.

Posted by: fat kid on July 28, 2005 01:14 PM

We may not "have the power"

But we've got "the pique"

since 1994

Posted by: Jeff B. on July 28, 2005 01:14 PM

ace just stuck an "u" in there where it doesn't belong. Allah's real blog is here.

Posted by: Sean M. on July 28, 2005 01:16 PM

Brand Dem? Shit is MONEY.

Posted by: on July 28, 2005 01:19 PM

sorry, I changed it.

Posted by: ace on July 28, 2005 01:21 PM

Here's mine:

http://i.pbase.com/v3/13/220013/1/46850551.liberalmedianew.jpg

Posted by: Grendel on July 28, 2005 01:25 PM

I suppose now is as good a time as any to repost my original thoughts on Oliver. After all, Ace does it all the time, and besides I can't summarize it any better than this:

Oliver Willis...he defies parody.

You don’t know what a significant statement that is: he DEFIES parody. You cannot fully cover all the angles of his ridiculousness, because he is constantly evolving new ones. Every time we try to peg him with mockery, he boldly breaks free, escapes, and ups the ante.

I’m coming to the conclusion that Willis is no amateur at all. He’s a smooth-operating pro. I mean, think about it: did anyone think the hilarious, rank hackery of O-Dub’s post would be possible, even given what we knew about the preexisting World of Oliver? No, he exceeded expectations again. He refuses to be caged by any normal, bourgeois standards of intellectual honesty or proportionality: every time you think, “well, he can go no further than this; I mean, THIS is where even he has draw the line” he stuns with a new outgrowth of hysterical, unimaginative overreaction. We who hoped to ensnare him within our chains of reasonably defined discourse find ourselves once again hugging the air.

And off in the distance, the asthmatic wheeze of Oliver’s laughter echoes joyously off of the rain-soaked cobblestones in DC's alleyways: he has slipped the surly bonds of rationality once again! And as his legend grows, we - we men of mere mortal clay who must stay behind to tell tales to others - are left to shake our heads in awe and perplexity.

Oliver is not to be mocked. He is to be admired and observed. He is no mere political hack, he is consciously living life as a self-created work of art. A pudgy, viscously-oiled, stubble-fingered, nacho-snarfing work of art, but art nonetheless. He has become a tubby Nietzschean Superman, and he's ahead of us every step of the way.

Posted by: Jeff B. on July 28, 2005 01:27 PM

We hate America

and it shows!

Posted by: GregS on July 28, 2005 01:28 PM

I think you've linked to it before, but the Rebrand Democrat site, from right after the election, is basically the same idea. Looks like it's still getting updated, amazingly enough.

Posted by: Yaron on July 28, 2005 01:29 PM

Now if you adopted it as your mascot, could we call it the "Ass of Spades?"

I'd like to see that photoshopped...

Posted by: Confederate Yankee on July 28, 2005 01:37 PM

Mine are here.

Posted by: Hubris on July 28, 2005 01:38 PM

My contribution.

Posted by: on July 28, 2005 01:42 PM

My contribution.

Posted by: Matt on July 28, 2005 01:42 PM

Rebranding...

Bush = Chimp is now Bush = Spider Monkey

Digital Brownshirts is now Brown Digitalshirts

GOP = Nazis is now Nazis = GOP

Posted by: on July 28, 2005 01:47 PM

my contributions here and here. Both rather old, but still applicable.

Posted by: marc on July 28, 2005 01:53 PM

We May Not Think
"We have the Media"

But We Need
"A Reality Check"

Posted by: Dman on July 28, 2005 01:56 PM

So, they've had "the reality" since 1794?

So, "the reality" used to be that black people were the descendants of Ham and thus cursed to servitude ... or that slavery was really more humane than Northern capitalist "wage-slavery" ... or Jim Crow, or ...

well, you see where I'm going with this.

Or, is it just that they've *existed* since 1794 (golf clap in honor of their longevity, sure, but), but they've had "the reality" since 1960, or 64, or 72, or 76, or whenever they became the Forces of Truth and Light?

Posted by: Knemon on July 28, 2005 01:57 PM

"We may not 'have the media.' But we'll have two Big Macs, three large fries, six-piece McNuggets, apple pie..."

Posted by: Allah on July 28, 2005 01:58 PM

oops, forgot to get a dig in at Andrew Jackson and Woodrow Wilson in that list. Dammit.

Posted by: Knemon on July 28, 2005 01:58 PM

We may not "have the media."

But we definitely have a, *cough*, "thyroid problem."

Posted by: Rocketeer on July 28, 2005 02:03 PM

Is it too much to ask that the periods be placed consistently for cryin' out loud?

Posted by: slickdpdx on July 28, 2005 02:03 PM

The Jews control the media (?) -- so all the Jews in the Dems are secretly Republicans? Roveneocon is evil I tells ya!

Posted by: on July 28, 2005 02:15 PM

Sir,

Is it just me, or does the ass appear to be wearing some type of heels? It just struck me when I saw the image.

Perhaps subliminal cues for the base Democratic constituency?

rcl

Posted by: rcl on July 28, 2005 02:41 PM

"We may not 'have the White House, the Senate, The House of Representatives, or most of the Governorships'...

...But we've got 'the reality'".

Posted by: Jimmie on July 28, 2005 02:52 PM

How about we switch it around...

We may not "have a reality"
But we have "the media"

Taking it up "the ass"...since 1794

Posted by: Todd Schmidt on July 28, 2005 03:10 PM

We may not "have the votes".

But: we've got, "a bunch" of extra "punctuation"; to-- use up.

"since" 1794

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek on July 28, 2005 03:57 PM

He's going after Coulter with this one, and thats whats up with the period thing. I still for some reason, guess because its entertaining, stop by there every now and then, and he and his little minions were railing on something she said. "We have the media" is a quote.

Posted by: bennett on July 28, 2005 04:09 PM

We may not have Jeff Gannon.

But we have David Brock

Posted by: Mark on July 28, 2005 04:36 PM

We may not have the reality.

But we've got "the reality".

Posted by: Ayes of Death David on July 28, 2005 04:56 PM

Todd beat me to it, but the more elegant way would be to just add "reversing the quotes" before "since 1794"

Posted by: Hauke on July 28, 2005 05:35 PM

The reality is we can't win elections even with the media.

Posted by: tony on July 28, 2005 07:37 PM

Yes, it was nice of him to put "the reality" in scare quotes.

We may not "have the media"... Well except ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, NPR, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the LA Times, the Boston Globe... But the Rethuglicans have FOX and talk radio and those blog thingies! Censorship! Rove! Bushitler!

Where was I? Yeah. But we have "The Reality®". (Now available in convenient long-lasting capsules. See your doctor if electoral losses persist. May cause drowsiness, dizzyness, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, hair loss, and permanent brain damage. Do not operate machinery. We mean it.)

Posted by: Pixy Misa on July 29, 2005 12:12 AM

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Top Headlines

Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.

Artemis II Crew releases clearest images of the Far Side yet recorded

Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker.
And I guess you think you've got it made
Oh, but then, you never were afraid
Of anything that you've left behind
Oh, but it's alright with me now
'Cause I'll get back up somehow
And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win
Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area.

Sarah Longwell spotting

Tuq'r's makeover is 100!

Alfred Hitchcock learns to talk with TJM

Ryan Long goes to the No Kings rally to pick up young liberal hotties and is greatly disappointed in the quality of the mish
thanks to stevey

You know we "joke" about the GOPe just "conserving" leftist things?
David French just posted:

Populists ask what conservativism has ever conserved?
Well its about to conserve birthright citizenship!
Posted by: 18-1

I couldn't hate this queen of the cuck-chair more if it paid seven figures and came with a corner office.

TJM definitively ranks the films of John Boorman.

Kid punks CNN chump by speaking truth to retard

Podcast: CBD and Sefton talk birthright citizenship, the 14th Amendment and SCOTUS, no boots in Iran, Artemis II and refocusing NASA, the NBA's hatred of everything non-woke, and more!

In more marketing for Project Hail Mary, scientists say they've found the biosigns indicating life growing on an alien planet. It's not proof, just signatures of chemicals that are produced by biological metabolism, and it could be nothing, but scientists think it's a strong sign that this planet is inhabited by something.

In a paper published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters, a team of scientists announced the detection of dimethyl sulfide (along with a similar detection of dimethyl disulfide) in the atmosphere of an exoplanet called K2-18b. This is actually the second detection of dimethyl sulfide made on this planet, following a tentative detection in 2023.
Tons of chemicals are detected in the atmospheres of celestial objects every day. But dimethyl sulfide is different, because on Earth, it's only produced by living organisms.
"It is a shock to the system," Nikku Madhusudhan, first author on the paper, told the New York Times. "We spent an enormous amount of time just trying to get rid of the signal."

He means they tried to prove the signal was caused by things other than dimethyl sulfide but they could not.

Artemis moon shot a go, scheduled for 6:24 Eastern time tonight
Great marketing arranged by Amazon to promote Project Hail Mary. Okay not really but it does work out that way.

TJM talks John Boorman, director of Excalibur

Good rickroll

What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*

Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
* Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV.
Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.

A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR.
Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him.
LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.

The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others.
But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring:
"But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said."
In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power."
I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron.
Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring.
I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do.
But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.

Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD]

TJM acts like he knows anything about John Wick and screenwriting. It's embarrassing, really.