Since I missed whatever was deleted, how do I know what won't be deleted as 'libelous'?

JeffB.'s the biggest pussy you ever met in your life?

Ace, ever meet your own mama?

Okay, the comment in question concerned Matt Drudge's sexuality.

It's not like I'm banning people for calling each other "moron."

Whaddaya mean, the last one sucked? It was great! A**hole.

Is it cool if we speculate about John Roberts being gay?

You only get banned for "gay moron," "necrophiliac moron," "bugger moron," and the like.

Yeah, but you had a whole post dedicated to this classic site.

If you think Ace has a problem with necrophilia, you haven't been paying attention

"It's not like I'm banning people for calling each other "moron.""

If you did the traffic counter would go down faster then Rocketeer's mom!

Why wouldn't Roberts be gay? His kid is gay, isn't he?

BrewFan, you talk awful big for a person who's mom's nickname is "city bus" - guys on and off her all day.

P.S. - for a buck and a quarter a ride.

How does Ace know when his momma is on the rag?

He can taste blood on his brother's dick...

Wow, good one Rocketeer. Last time I heard that one I fell off my dinosaur.

And by "dinosaur," I mean your filthy whore of a mother.

Why wouldn't Roberts be gay? His kid is gay, isn't he?

Good point. Did he give his son TEH GHEY?

"P.S. - for a buck and a quarter a ride."

You think thats bad? Cedarford's mom came home from working the corner and told him she made $40.10. He was pissed and wanted to know who gave her a dime! She said, "all of them, why?"

You think thats bad? Cedarford's mom came home from working the corner and told him she made $40.10. He was pissed and wanted to know who gave her a dime! She said, "all of them, why?"

He was even more horrified when he realized they were Israeli dimes

Ace, you seem mighty feisty for a guy with such questionable keyboard skills. I'd say something about your bein' a hunt-'n'-pecker, but it might get me banned for possibly libellous speculation about your sexuality.

yeah, I'm a big homo, because I'm not a good... typist.

You know what else you're better than me at?

Suckin' dick. That's what.

Zionist dimes brak.

Speaking of homos, where has Son of America been?

Haven't actually sampled the man-sausage, Ace, but I'm told it's supposed to go in your mouth. If you pulled that thing out of your ear you might be able to detect puns better.

Ace, I thought your sister had the biggest pussy I ever saw in my life. I guess it just looked that way compared with your dick in that mpg you had posted a while back.

Good point. Did he give his son TEH GHEY?

I'm not even going to touch that line with Schumer's dick.

Utron,

No, I got the "pecker" thing.

It was funny.

Margaret Cho funny.

I'd talk about how I screwed your filthy whore of a mother last night, Ace, but that would be wrong, and a lie. Couldn't get close enough. It would have involved fighting my way to the front of a mob of horny anarchists srambling for a turn, and donning a hazmat suit.

Ace:

Suckin' dick. That's what.

Well said, sir! Well spoken! Well articulated! That bit of rhetorical brilliance will set the cad back on his heels! Why, even Sir Bertrand Russel would be envious of your facility with a cutting retort!

The only lamentable aspect of the whole affair, sadly, is that your predilection for playing freakish sex-games with Star Trek figurines tends to reduce your credibility somewhat. Still, given your obvious and debilitating mental problems, I find it gratifying that you are able to rise up and overcome your infirmities. Good show, sir!

Margaret Cho funny.

Hey look! Monty is back. The Gordon Lightfoot CD must be scratched! Read any good romance novel lately 'Monty'?

"You know what else you're better than me at?

Suckin' dick. That's what."

Don't be so hard on yourself ACE. With your work ethic, and the amount you've been practicing, you'll be as good as utron in no time

BTW Monty - if you start jonesing for Gord's Gold I'm sure utron will lend you his copy!

BrewFan:

Read any good romance novel lately 'Monty'?

This kind of scurrilous badinage is all well and good for the commoners on this thread, sir, but when you stoop to sullying the name of a Peer of the Realm then it becomes apparent that all rules of civilized discourse have been abandoned. You are a coward of the lowest sort, sir, a low knave, a sneak-thief and a rogue. Were it not for the debased state of jurisprudence in these sad times, your neck would have been stretched on a gibbet long since.

Have you no decency, sir? At long last, have you no decency?

BrewFan, I'm pretty sure my copy is in that stack of CDs you borrowed and never returned. Second or third down from the top. You would have stumbled across it by now, if you'd just stop listening to "The Very Best of Air Supply" over and over and over.

So now the truth comes out...we have a bunch of homos here with a 70s adult contemporary elevator music fetish

Brak, if that's what the AoS lifestyle has degenerated into, then I get dibs on being the construction worker. No way am I dressing up like that "Indian" guy.

I gotta say, I love that old-school stuff by Monty. Spongeworthy did it a few times. I wish I could whip that kind of stuff up, but I've tried and I can't.

You know why Ace never posts before noon? He can't stay away from that glory hole his brother works at.

Nothing like teaching a kid to do things the right way, is there?

utron, it's lost somewhere among his prized collection of Tiger Beat magazines..

Cedarjuice, Cedarjuice, Cedarjuice.

Trying to summon him so I can watch a flame gang rape.

"Have you no decency, sir? At long last, have you no decency?"

No. The last shred of decency I had I lost when I banged your sister.

Yeah, the old school stuff is difficult if you have never read a book without a unicorn or a space ship on the cover.

ace:

No one does genteel umbrage better than a sixty-ish Victorian gentleman with muttonchop sideburns and a gammy leg left over from the Boer war. Try to imagine the old gent sitting in some stuffy London club, drinking neat whiskey and reading The Times of London, muttering darkly now and then about the debased times we live in.

Are you a little light in the loafers if you're a grown man *coughDaveinTexascough* and you like to watch Ol' Yeller? Just askin'...

BrewFan, I'm pretty sure my copy is in that stack of CDs you borrowed and never returned.

I didn't know utron was on your booty call list Brew. Since you've moved on and up to farm animals, the least you could do is return the bitches crappy cd's.

BrewFan:

(To get back into character...)

You, sir, are no gentleman! This kind of abominable and unfounded attack on my good sister shall not be met meekly! I regret that we do not live in an earlier and more honorable time, so that I could throw down my glove and challenge you to pistols at dawn for this outrage! Nothing would please me more than to put a lead ball through your lying scoundrel's heart!

Monty, no matter how many times you watch all your worn out copies of Jane Austen movies, the Victorian guy schtick is never going to help you get laid. You'll have to go back to using 5 dollar bills and a bus trip to Tijuana for that. Don't worry, the donkey-show girl bathes at least once a week.

It's true.

brak:

I find it astonishing that Ace would allow a lowborn savage such as yourself into this establishment. That you have the utter gall to speak to me in such a manner only illustrates your complete lace of social grace. Your japery may provide amusement to your fellow ruffians, but it arouses in me only contempt.

Now be off with you, and be silent among your elders and betters. Your nincompoopery is not appreciated here.

Any more shenanigans and I shall have Baxter escort you off the premises.

hey Brew, I just assumed they were yours, cause, you know how you go on and on about Donny f'n' Osmond.

coulda made a mistake

*sigh*
lace=lack
PIMF

No one does genteel umbrage better than a sixty-ish Victorian gentleman with muttonchop sideburns and a gammy leg left over from the Boer war. Try to imagine the old gent sitting in some stuffy London club, drinking neat whiskey and reading The Times of London, muttering darkly now and then about the debased times we live in.

And no one does male genital placation better than Monty, an old transvestite lot lizard with cum stained flavor-saving hitler moustache and worn out sphincter due to repeated corn holings in truck stop showers. Imagine if you can stomach it Monty sitting on a concrete parking barier, mascara smeared and smoking an old butt he'd found on the pavement, hoping to beg a hit off a Mad Dog 20/20 or Boone's Farm bottle, muttering about what a true queen he used to be before the hemorhoids, genital warts, and gonorrhea.

Is this a private circle jerk, or can anyone join?

Welcome Dave@fat kid's, a.k.a. Pivot Man.

compos mentis:

Utter twaddle, rot, stuff, and nonsense. A beating with a stout stick is what you need, laddie-buck; obviously your upbringing in that Delhi insane asylum has adversely colored your view of what constitutes discourse among the Quality. If you do not wish to end your days languishing in the venereal ward of a charity hospital, I recommend getting yourself ship-shape and Bristol fashion!

Monty, that last post couldn't be any gayer if it were typed from inside Elton John's squeakhole.

Yo Brewfan:

I got your package by mistake. Where do you want me to send your new penis enlarger?

Lauraw:

The p*ker club is meeting next Wednesday at my house. You're more than welcome to come back for another gang bang.

(That's for you guys calling me a pooter this morning.)

On a lighter note:
Here's an article containing at least 4 posts for ace on the upcoming hot web fads.
http://www.cnet.com/4520-11136_1-6268155-1.html?tag=cnetfd.ld

I just wanted to let you know that I own all of your sisters and for the two of you who are married, your wives as well. (They were bored to tears until I came into their lives.)

(RIP)?

Really Infantile Penis?
Rumpled Insignificant Pecker?
'Roid Injured Pucker?
Relishes It in Pooper?
Realizes It's Pathetic?

Hard Cock:

That means you and I both know Brewfan's wife. Did she tell you the joke about how much he likes it when she "deep lips" his cock? That woman is a scream.

Think of it like I think of your mom.

Revolting Internal Parasites

Whoa! We just had an earthquake here. Either that or Lipstick is stamping her feet again.

Ace is so gay that when he farts you can hear the words gobsmackingly vile echoing throughout his hot pink "Queer Eye" boxers.

Whoa! We just had an earthquake here. Either that or Lipstick is stamping her feet again.

That's just Fat Kid's mom taking it from the team in the apartment above yours.

I can't participate in threads like these anymore.

They're too hurtful.

compos mentis:

You speak quite blithely of Sir Elton's "squeakhole", sir. May I ask how and when you became so familiar with the orifice of the aforementioned Worthy?

Michael,

What the wives usually say about their husbands is 'LL' - little and limp (see vonkreedon), but what the sisters always say is "If my brother finds out I'm fucking around on him, he'll kill me" (Ace's big sister is especially nervous that if he finds out she's getting it from a hard cock, he'll ban her from posting as cedarford or worse, make her have sex (or something) with Jeff B).

See, but the problem is that stuff like that needs to be funny to work.

And by "funny" I mean "Ace breathlessly posting that, according to a radio broadcast he's listening to, a 'huge, flaming object' reminiscent of a spaceship has fallen to the earth in a field near Grovers' Corners, NJ."

Speaking of blimps; Pooter, how's your mom? Still got that gas problem?

You fail to grok my pop culture reference, my friend.

God I hate JeffB.

Nobody can get to you or annoy the piss out of you quite like I can. Not even vonKreedon.

It's something I'm very proud of.

"You fail to grok my pop culture reference, my friend."

Now you're mixing your pop culture references although the common thread is alien (Martian to be specific) to me. Besides, no one said the flame war seques had to be perfect.

No spelling flames allowed either!

Brewfan, were you trying to say "segue"? Cuz, y'know, you didn't.

Meth will damage your mind before it starts rotting your teeth. Just sayin'.

"Meth will damage your mind before it starts rotting your teeth"

thut up! [what were we talking about?]

*Deep breaths*, Pooter.

Ace, was it libelous that time when I told Pooter here that he was obviously a closet ghey? Was it a banning offense when I intimated that he was a Pretty Princess? That his cellphone plays 'Its Raining Men,' and his writing belies a certain feminine sensitivity, a certain, je ne sais quoi (that's French for I like a good ass-reaming)?

I'm just asking because I want to be sure. I'd hate to be on the wrong side here.

I didn't realize until I washed off my unit how much corn lauraw has been eating lately.

That's the trouble with girls jumping into a flame war. Every desperate sack tries to get her attention.

That pretty much explains why desperate girls jump into flame wars.

Bitch.

You're very spunky, you know that? But I guess that's normal for you people.

None of us guys are really desperate so long as we've got Michael's mom's phone number, a bottle of Night Train, and a couple of paper bags.

Cederford's such a anti-rational human fuck monkey, I could strap a Mag-light to his asshole, flip it on and off and hold a DNC top 100 stupid human tricks slide show.

I'll jump in on this shit. Although...I shall be weary of all the ghey diseases I might catch from a gheynbang from ya'all.

Feisty,

As many std's as your mom had I don't think you can catch anything worse here.

I don't know... she didn't have those pus-filled green-oozing infected lesions all over her junk like you, baby. I'll bet your wife and your mom are blaming each other for giving it to ya RIGHT NOW.

None of us guys are really desperate so long as we've got Michael's mom's phone number, a bottle of Night Train, and a couple of paper bags.

A word to the wise. I love my Mom, but keep her away from any kind of open flame.

I guess you know that.

"I don't know... she didn't have those pus-filled green-oozing infected lesions all over her junk like you, baby"

Well its apparent your mom can't keep a secret so I suspect you know I'm your daddy. This should help you understand why you're not completely retarded!

Dad? My mom always told me my eyes were far apart and my face was flat due to that fetal alcohol syndrome, now I suspect it was your fault, seeing as how you were born lookin' like you just ran top-speed into a brick wall.

Speaking of bitches, where is bbeck, that coddled, clothes-horse, useless, breast arrogant, I-don't-have-a-job-because-I-love-my-kids-so-much-that-I-watch-soap-operas-all-day?

Ok, Guys. I understand your desire to compete in this hyper macho testosterone fiesta. I get that you want to put on a show of masculinity in order to impress the rest of these gay-for-pay cock holsters, so that next time you guys play 'put the pubic snake in the rectal bucket,' you can thrust from the top instead of experiencing anal friction burns from the bottom. But i'm here to burst your dreams like your sister's hymen. Truth is, you might even ejaculate off a pseudo witty 'your mama' joke onto your computer screen that just bowls Jeff B. over. But the longer this continues, the more you start to travel face first towards being the guy who's only known passionate utterance is " NO DADDY, NO!", skidding to a clean stop on your powder puff roller skate knee pads right before my groin just in time to polish my boots with your sperm-encrusted tongue.

I came here for a hot 'n bothered gangbang, and all I get is all the men circle jerkin' their cottage cheesy crud all over each other. What a rip off.

"I came here for a hot 'n bothered gangbang"

Me too. Think any women will show up?

Hey, I'm here. I might wanna take a wet vac to your nuts to suck up all that female ejaculate your sister gave ya before I jump ya though...I like to start with a clean slate.

I come back from a quick nooner with my Thursday afternoon coven, including somebody's big sister, only to find that somebody now says he hates teh guy his big sister keeps telling me is her bro's favorite poofter ("my pansy poster" to be exact).

What happened?

"Does this look infected to you"?

Ace, I would prefer if you would keep the flame war at the TOP of this foresaken pile of dung you call a blog so that I don't have to dig through all of the boring political bullshit in order to get to the entertaining stuff. Think user friendly. Without the brain power displayed by your finicky constituents in this thread alone, you would be caught in blogosphere quicksand, left to futiley struggle until you exhale your last, unfunny, wretched breath, shit yourself and expire.

On a side, I love you and want you in the worst way you can imagine. And that's not just all of the wine talking sweetheart.

I think you, me, Dave, Monty, Utron, and Michael should make one giant poor boy sandwich sans bread but with a lot of toppings, if you get my drift. Lauraw can serve as the salty chip side dish and Cedarford can shove the kosher dill straight up his ass.

xxx oh,oh,oh!

I hope everyone realizes Ace is doing this to farm material just so he can come out on top for once when he and his adventuring party of 12-14 year old 'friends' start ragging on each other this weekend while playing D&D. Ace plays a half-elf Bard, BTW.

Lord knows I'm not easily offended, but this post is, well, you know.

How typical of right-wing theocrats to immediately start making gay jokes when given a chance to participate in a flame war.

By the way, Ace, thanks for being there for me last week. I needed that shoulder to cry on.

And the viking sex afterwards.

Speaking of bitches, where is bbeck, that coddled, clothes-horse, useless, breast arrogant, I-don't-have-a-job-because-I-love-my-kids-so-much-that-I-watch-soap-operas-all-day?

Breast arrogant? I hope she pokes your eyes out with them!

What's the difference between Michael's mom and a fridge?

The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out. Hey!! Ho!! Hey, ho! Calling Michael's mom!

Give Michael a break. It's past 9 here in Maine. He's all about coffee brandy, cigarettes and oxycontin right now.

"Does this look infected to you"?

Dave, it's amazing to me that we both manage to be more or less gentlemen at RightWingSparkle's site. Why is that? Why do we give such deference to that little Texas slut cock-teaser?

He's all about coffee brandy, cigarettes and oxycontin right now.

Brandy? Excuse me. I will not allow you to impugn my intimate relationship with Mr. Jack Daniels.

Prolly cuz she's got a 44 strapped to her hip.
That keeps the men-folk gentlemanly.

Breast arrogant? I hope she pokes your eyes out with them!

Me too! Plus, there are major tax benefits associated with being legally blind.

I will not allow you to impugn my intimate relationship with Mr. Jack Daniels.

Real Jack Daniel's, or those wussy little bottles of fruit juice?

Be honest.

Me, I go for JD and Moxie.

Another flame-war thread? Why, the first wasn't pointless enough?

Hey, Ace, I listened to your show this week. Good job, it wasn't nearly as painful as I imagined it would be; you only once tried to cram words into another woman's mouth. Very big of you, rapist.

At least you didn't fellate Allah on the air. It's not embarassing when you put on a me-so-humble act, not at all.

Hey, I like the current gang of fucktards and how they find "gay" to be the über-burn. Here's one for ya, shiteheads: you're so gay you formed a singularity of Andy.

Ace plays a half-elf Bard, BTW.

It's always a shame when someone like "rho" above has to force an insult past the breaking point of creativity, but truly, you earn Super Bonus Loser Points for knowing the ASCII code necessary to type "ü."

As for Ace, Let's Be Honest: the reason he keeps calling for flamewar threads is because he's trying to steal material for this "$300 million box office" comedy script he's pimping around town. He's been tapped since before the 2004 elections...we're the only thing that's keeping him going.

Now you understand why he worships Allah?

I stopped reading at "Viking Sex." Viking sex with Ace.... I never thought I'd be jealous of Excitable Andy.

I never thought I'd be jealous of Excitable Andy.

You have no idea, sweetheart.

Michael,

Why is that? Why do we give such deference to that little Texas slut cock-teaser?

Well, cause we're guys. Deceptive and shit.

That and the gun lauraw mentions. Lord knows I'm not the easiest person to offend, but a gun can make me mind my manners.

Oh, that and you're little peeny is so easily teased.

rho

Obviously someone sat on your lunch today. Did they fart on it too?

JeffB

Come on, be gentle - ace was not tapped out until shortly after the 2004 elections.

"Well, cause we're guys. Deceptive and shit."

You're right. I guess we're just going to have to put up with RWS flaunting her luscious boobs under the guise of "family photos" and such. Oh well.

Come on, be gentle - ace was not tapped out until shortly after the 2004 elections.

Kerry panic started the "Vice" thing?

I always thought it was just one big Val-U-Rite vodka bender.

You're right. I guess we're just going to have to put up with RWS flaunting her luscious boobs under the guise of "family photos" and such.

We few, we happy few. We band of brothers.

What a pathetic flamewar. You people should all be fucking ashamed of yourselves. The only two who can walk out of this thread with their dignity intact are me and Ace. And Ace only because his dignity remains "intact" at the "vanshingly-small-but-nonzero" level that it came into this thread at.

Fuck you.

(That's the spirit.)

I'd insult you, Jeff, but that rant just brought a tear to my eye.

So...beautiful...

I'd insult you, Jeff, but that rant just brought a tear to my eye.

Well, I've succeeded in making at least one person cry...my work here is done.

JeffB., I'm pretty sure you have the definitions of "dignity" and "virginity" mixed up.

By the way, has anybody noticed that Ace makes it a point to insult me as much as possible? (So much so that you might suspect we know one another in real life, which - unless he's that utter twat scar Larry who sat two cubicles down from me in my last job - is totally untrue.)

I get more column inches out of this stupid moronblog than Martha Burk got from the New York Times' front page.

I think he's just jealous that I'm going to a better law school than he did.

Ace has been tapped out since his move to tin can radio. Next week's guest: Bill Grandy, brother of Fred Grandy and primary blogger on GophersGoo.com.

Now see, I'm torn. I'm still convinced that Hoke is merely Ace's Norman Bates-like alter ego (the one that kills, is my guess - normal Ace is too much of a pussy to deal with blood)....but would Ace insult himself like that?

Yeah, probably he would. Just to throw us smarter folks off the trail. Nice try Ace/Hoke!

Hey Ace. Janeane Garofolo called. She wanted to say "thank you" for making her seem like a real radio professional.

"I think he's just jealous that I'm going to a better law school than he did"

translated: "I AM A PERSON!"

I do not consent to being flamed.

joke i just overheard: What's the difference between John's mom and a fridge?

The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out. Hey!! Ho!! Hey, ho! Calling John's mom!

The rest of you can lick my taint.

I do not consent to being flamed.

you're not being flamed
you fucking moonbat
your bag is

Ace bumps the flame thread
Leaves for the day to drown in
Val-u-rite vodka

The haiku poem
And pathetic flame-war thread
Both crutches for Ace

We had better flame wars in kindergarten!

Ace, here's comedy GOLD!!!
http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20050722/capt.mtl20607221618.aquatics_worlds_diving_mtl206.jpg

Fat Kid - You deserted me. Blow me where the pampers is.

All of you dipshits prove that the gene pool could use a little chlorine.

If assholes could fly, this place would be a fucking airport.

You can all kiss Dave from Tampax's fuzzy anus.

Ace bumps the flame thread
Leaves for the day to drown in
Val-u-rite vodka

Haaa!...

Whats the difference between compos mentis and a clothing factory.

A clothing factory has a shit load of pants and compos has his pants loaded with shit.

"If assholes could fly"

compost mantits would be a 747

I haven't heard this many whiney assholes since I burnt that frat house down.

sorry, anon 3:58 was me. flame off.

Brewfan, do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

Anonymous, it's alright. You can't help it if your parents are siblings.

And Ace, you suck. Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you? Your choice you dickless hack.

C'mon now Mentos (The Assmaster!)
Ace's isn't a dickless hack, dickless hack are *published*.

dickless hack are *published*.

True enough. If we were to kill everyone that thinks Ace sucks, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

Unless it was under Mugabe's juristiction, then it'd be relocation and demolition of "blighted" areas.

True enough. If we were to kill everyone that thinks Ace sucks, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

I agreed at first because I thought you said if we were to kill everyone that Ace sucked, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide. Now I just don't know.

Those that think Ace sucks and those he's actually sucked - most of them are from both camps. And if he can't satisfy anyone sexually, how in hell is he ever going to get anyone to even read his shitty script?

I've had enough of this...time to get banned...

I heard that Drudge is hetero

ace of spade's weblog
is a stinky dutch oven
we are all victims

"I heard that Drudge is hetero"

Can't be. He dates Ann Coulter.

Brewfan, that still raises the question whether that makes Coulter a lesbian or a man.

drudge is the catcher

Bbeck, you been to the yukon lately?

como estan, beeeetchez!

compos, what is that smell? smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.

and what exactly is this obsession you have with my furry regions? shouldn't you like, take me out or something before you start sniffing around?

Y'know, compos, I'm just not motivated to flame you. Your story about your daughter's soccer game, the gastric distress, the oven-like porta-potty, the coach coming to your car while you are dressed somewhat unusually, it's all etched in my mind as the funniest dang thing I've ever read. I was just crying with laughter when you posted that stuff.

It's a rare man who can do self-deprecating humor with such wit and style. And a big one.

I know this is supposed to be a flame thread, but I just thought I'd take this opportunity to tell you you're sort of a hero to me.

So, anyway, back on topic. Brewfan, kiss my ass.

Wow Michael! Thanks. I take back what I said. Unfuck you : )

Dave in Tampax - if you need a little Taco Bell and some Night Train before you put out, I suppose I can oblige. You just need to make sure you give it up before that lovely combo gurgles into your colon. Nothing ruins giving a good ass pounding like a splash guard always getting in the way.

You know, I don't see OTHER posters getting dragged into these wars.

Speaking of bitches, where is bbeck, that coddled, clothes-horse, useless, breast arrogant, I-don't-have-a-job-because-I-love-my-kids-so-much-that-I-watch-soap-operas-all-day?

I'm right here. It's nice to see you took time off of rimming Ace's token Anti-Semite to take a shot at me. Badly.

As for the rest of you wads who posted to me here: grow some nads and attach a name to your comments. I already have one pu$$y to deal with.

Later,
bbeck

Comp, you sound like a man who knows his way around a sparkling water enema.

And you sound like a guy who knows how to show a woman a good time. Night Train and a gordita. You must be popular downtown.

Oh, I mean downtown in a geographical sense, you animal you.

"You know, I don't see OTHER posters getting dragged into these wars."

bbeck:

In all fairness, Dave in Texas and I were doing our best to drag RWS into this thread with numerous disrespectful references to her breasts. You are not the only women to have received this treatment.

RWS, being a lady, has totally ignored us.

Unlike you.

Please send email to make arrangements for poking my eyes out.

"So, anyway, back on topic. Brewfan, kiss my ass"

Ok, as soon as Cedarford is done pounding it.

Ok, as soon as Cedarford is done pounding it.

Well, as some of you may recall, I sometimes serve as an apologist for Cedarford. Largely because I admire his sense of humor, which most of you idiots are completely missing. In particular, I get a kick out of the Running Cedarford Joke. Let me spell this out. The Running Cedarford Joke works like this:

1. Cedarford asserts that Israel/Jews are uniquely beyond reproach and that anyone who criticizes Israel/Jews will be vilified.

2. Cedarford criticizes Israel/Jews, usually on the basis of well-established facts (theft of nuclear material or whatever). Occasionally I contribute a few inflammatory comments in his defense.

3. Six or eight witless commenters, responding like Pavlov's dogs, immediately prove that Cedarford is correct on Point 1 by calling him a Nazi, an anti-Semite, a troll, whatever. Various exhortations to "ignore the troll" are ignored by commenters who can't control themselves and must heap abuse on Cedarford.

4. Cedarford laughs his ass off at the idiots who took the bait, getting a kick out of how easily manipulable they are. Michael chuckles heartily from the sidelines. I'm just guessing, but I think Ace is giggling too, and just disses Cedarford every now and then to keep the gag going.

So go ahead and call Cedarford a Nazi troll. F**kin' morons. He's got your number.

I hate to tell you this, but Cedarford is easily the most intelligent person who regularly comments here.

BTW, the guy who plays that game even better than Cedarford is Paul at Wizbang, when he posts some creationist bullshit just to lather up the evolutionists, and then he keeps commenting in order to work them into frenzy. It's hilarious.

I hate to tell you this, but Cedarford is easily the most intelligent person who regularly comments here.

You forgot me.

Sorry Jeff, but no. As a lawyer, I appreciate that you are getting a first-class legal education. But no.

Someday you may go beyond smart, and become wise.

When I first saw this thread, I was upset because it had been posted on the one night every two weeks that I'm away from a computer.

After reading the first couple of insults, though, I feel like I really didn't miss anything. Fucking a plague-bearing rat would be better than sparring with you no-talent douche puppets. Call Uncle Andrew when you want a real dick joke.

And Jeff, I'll tell you for free how to get wise.

Raise children.

When you're done, look in the mirror and admit that you screwed up as much as your own parents.

Forgive yourself. Forgive your parents.

Have a great time being an awesome grandfather.

Got the program?

Call Uncle Andrew when you want a real dick joke.

Cause uncle Andy's got one joke of a dick.

Michael, do me a favor and dispense homespun wisdom and homilies in some other fucking thread, okay?

Michael, do me a favor and dispense homespun wisdom and homilies in some other fucking thread, okay?

OK. I'd like to talk to you in about 30 years, but I'll probably be dead.

Michael, I see only one flaw in your bit of homespun wisdom: in order for you to know about having children, you'd have to get laid. And given the tenor of your posts here, I'm guessing you the closest you've come to getting laid is that time you were furiously masturbating to an episode of One Tree Hill and your dick accidentally touched the screen.

Fucking take a preachy, warm-hearted bullshit to the gay bar across the street. I believe it's called "the Ace-hole."

RWS, being a lady, has totally ignored us.

Shoot, Michael, if ladies didn't get into flame wars then you wouldn't be here.

Please send email to make arrangements for poking my eyes out.

Sorry, the logistics are impossible with your head tickling your colon.

As for your Cedarford Love Fest post, I already responded the last time you donned your cheerleading outfit and belted out the exact same list. It's no more effective the second time around and it sure doesn't belong in a flame thread. Although it IS pretty funny.

Later,
bbeck

Seriously, Michael: Did you have a few beers and get all serious on us? Because you sound like a woman.

JeffB:

I think he's just jealous that I'm going to a better law school than he did.

Oh, out-fuckin'-standing. Tell me, how little does a man have going for him when the thing he brags about is his law school?

As long as assholes are dispensing tips on subjects they know little to nothing about:

bragging about your law school is like bragging about your division in Saddam's "elite" Republican Guard. It's only impressive to a) other pricks; b) who don't know anything about the subject. It's sort of like bragging about banging LauraW. I mean, the girl's half retard and all whore.

So yeah, I expect Ace is really impressed with your law school.

"I'm guessing the closest you've come to getting laid is that time you were furiously masturbating to an episode of One Tree Hill and your dick accidentally touched the screen."

Damn! That's uncanny. Were you like watching or something?

Andrew:

Did you have a few beers and get all serious on us? Because you sound like a woman.

Not that Andrew is an authority on the subject of a woman's voice. I mean, even his mom's voice was tainted by the whole "operation to become 'Steve'" thing. And his date to prom was a bottle of Jergen's and a picture of Leif Garrett.

Guess I need to get back to normal.

Brewfan -- suck my dick.

Michael:

Damn! That's uncanny. Were you like watching or something?

Why do I get the feeling that answering "yes" would only make you masturbate more furiously?

Why do I get the feeling that answering "yes" would only make you masturbate more furiously?

So, just say "yes." Give a guy a break. What do you care?

Why, The Comish!

You fucking STD infected crotch scratching Rosie O'Donnell-love-child-looking, drooling retard monster.

Call me?

Just kidding, Quasimoto.

Michael:

So, just say "yes." Give a guy a break. What do you care?

I'm pretty sure the CDC has guidelines for the release of your sperm, and they include the words "rubber body suit," "air-proof container," and "hurled into the sun." The world is safer with your sperm tucked safely inside your shrivelled, raisin-sized testicles.

($10 says my mention of the words "rubber body suit" caused LauraW to touch herself)

"I hate to tell you this, but Cedarford is easily the most intelligent person who regularly comments here"

Michael, save some of your 'dignity'. You had him at "pass the KY".

Seriously, I never post on Ace's site unless I am wearing a rubber body suit.

I would add that it's snug and lovely. And it keeps out hunchback nerd DNA.

That's important.

I go away for the my regular Friday afternoon warlocks' gang bang and when I come back what do I find but:

1. Oliver Willis's crybaby sister Jeff8 (their voices are identical) somehow got loose, and nobody's stopping him.

2. Michael sucking up to Ace by praising Ace's big sister. (Other posts indicate Michael is not well.)

3. A bunch of nutless wonders inspecting each other's colons.

4. Ace passed out on the floor - no posts, no timely intervention vis-a-vis Jeff8.

Well all I can say is that the gang bang ended in time for your sisters to be home for dinner, but your wives (all 2 of them) may not ever be coming back.

lauraw:

I would add that it's snug and lovely.

With an ass like yours, how could it not be snug?

more like watching a bunch of scraggley buzzards on a carcass..

except they're not chewin on it, they're humping it.

sick shit.

"Other posts indicate Michael is not well"

Oh, he's fine. As soon as Cedarford gets off his ass he'll be vulnerable to the Zionist Hair-Rays again.

Excuse me, can I get a lemonade in here?

Oh, he's fine. As soon as Cedarford gets off his ass he'll be vulnerable to the Zionist Hair-Rays again.

Brewfan:

I guarantee that Cedarford is reading this thread. It's not a thread he will comment on, but he's reading. And he's laughing.

"I guarantee that Cedarford is reading this thread. It's not a thread he will comment on, but he's reading. And he's laughing."

OK, against my better judgment, I'll ask. Why would I give a flying f***? If your theory is correct, I would have less then no respect for that asshat. Pretending to be an anti-Semite multiple blogs (google him and you'll see what I mean) is some shtick. Not.

I guarantee that Cedarford is reading this thread. It's not a thread he will comment on, but he's reading. And he's laughing.

So are we, dude. And not in that ironic way.

P.S.-I'm dating your granddaughter.

And she fucking loves it.

"Pretending to be an anti-Semite multiple blogs (google him and you'll see what I mean) is some shtick."

He's not pretending anything. I've googled him. Point me to anything he said that was not more-or-less reasonable criticism of Israel and/or the Jewish lobby, or just plain an attempt to be funny, and I'll change my mind.

Oh C!

Your old Aussie pal Vialls is dead.

So sad.
He had those Zionist fools on the run, doncha know.

Batman: "Better put 5 cents in the meter."

Robin: "No policeman's going to give the Batmobile a ticket."

Batman: "This money goes to building better roads. We all must do our part."

A nice cluster f+uck on Ace's family skeleton and demented Michael's new heroine:

http://clusty.com/search?v%3afile=viv_186%4021%3aCY4wjH&v%3aframe=list&v%3astate=root%7cN420&

Hey, can somebody get this jackass Michael a copy of Cedarford's insane rantings against Jeff Goldstein? I believe they were from this blog? Where he went on and on with his bizarre, lurid sexual fixations about Jews?

C'mon, I can't be the only one who remembers this. It sure would shut Michael the fuck up - and who can pass up that opportunity and still call themselves a man?

Ah, what the hell. For Michael:

roses are red
violets are blue
your little girl took all fourteen inches of my filthy man thing in her mouth and, when she asked for more, I was ashamed (do you hear me-ASHAMED) not to be able to give her any more because half that shit was on loan to the local Kiwanis club that weekend so they could use it for team-building exercises and anyway she didn't deserve the proper "hey uncle uncle, what'd I do wrong now" treatment because she was totally not wearing panties while she chewed gum at the pep rally.

Yeats can fuckin suck me.

Our friend digitalbrownshirt has us covered when it comes to all things cedarford

Andrew:

Hate to disappoint you, buddy, but I don't actually have grandchildren yet. My kids are in college. I'm just kind of looking forward to being a grandfather. Best job in the world.

Michael on Cedarford reminds me of the msm on John Kerry. Need I say more?

I give up.

BTW, If Michaels right and cedarford is reading this: cedarford, your mom says hi (well, her mouth is full right now but I think she said hi).

For my naive friend Michael, I give you Cedarford's Greatest Hits:

1.) The "The Holocaust Was Their Fault!" Maneuver:

"...the free ride period accorded to certain minorities who "suffered so much they cannot be criticized" is coming to an end.

Why is it that Chinese, Irish, Indians, Gypsies, Vietnamese and Filipinos can spread to 60 other countries without suffering significant pograms?

Perhaps because they have no intention of subverting, controlling the laws and morals and economy of the locals??? And avoid royally pissing off their host nation??

Why is it that Chinese who suffered 16 million civilian dead, Soviets with 26 million civilian dead in WWII can be criticized for speading Communism and for colonizing activities - but not Jews?"

2.) Cedarford as Op-Ed writer for Streicher's Der Stuermer

"Why Jews have gone from 5% of America's population down to less than 2%. Low birthrate! And why Jewish princesses are lining up to forge intimate overnight partnerships with the best black athletes, be a loi-yah, or hook up with a good-looking gentile who will be there for her kids and give her equal say over family finances.

I'm afraid that there is as much demand for insidious "Jeff Goldstein Jew semen" as there is for hunchback semen.

Watch the kosher hotties you desire reject you for Mbutubo and Levon and Tyone-Mecca-Ali!

It must suck to be you! But if you make enough money, you can, like my obese boss, purchase an Asian honey that will love you long time, no shit!"

---

So, Michael, this is the man you're defending? The man whose comments are no more than "a more-or-less reasonable criticism of Israel and/or the Jewish lobby, or just plain an attempt to be funny?"

Michael, someday you may go beyond smart, and become wise.

Our friend digitalbrownshirt has us covered when it comes to all things cedarford

I'm asking you to go back to the link that digitalbrownshirt provided. I've been there before, just from googling Cedarford. Try to be fair, and take another look. Did Cedarford say anything that was really hostile, and not funny? C'mon. You could make those jokes about the low reproductive rates of any other ethnic group, and they would be hilarious. Plus, in the case of the Jews, it happens to be true.

If you really read what Cedarford says, the guy does not really have a hostile bone in his body. Being anonymous, he also has no pride. He totally does not give a shit what anyone else thinks.

How does that make him different from you?

Andrew:

roses are red
violets are blue
your little girl ....

[wipes away tear] You know, if Yeats had actually written that wonderfully, I might have been more inclined to spend my time in college reading poetry instead of stuffing my manhood into all those beautiful, beautiful women ... and Michael's granddaughter.

So thank goodness for that.

I don't give up - yet.

Michael,

Quit it. You sound like Jon Stewart defending Michael Moore. Or like Michael Moore praising John Kerry. Or something equally disgusting.

Alternatively, if you're trying to get cedarford to hump you (or vice-versus) please conduct your bizarro mating rituals in private.

Michael,

Quit it. You sound like Jon Stewart defending Michael Moore. Or like Michael Moore praising John Kerry. Or something equally disgusting.

Alternatively, if you're trying to get cedarford to hump you (or vice-versus) please conduct your bizarro mating rituals in private.

Listen to yourself. Cedarford is laughing.

So am I.

I'm off to bed. Good night. God bless you all.

http://www.khaldea.com/mrm_bio.shtml

This may explain some recent posts.

Dammit.
I'm complicit; we all let C contaminate a flame thread in which he was not taking part.

I'm pretty sure it's mostly Pooter's fault though.

And you really did miss C's greatest hits Pooter, before you started frequenting this blog.

Max:

OK, I'm not quite in bed yet. I'm Michael A. Meyer. But I have to admit, that guy looks pretty cool.

"I'm pretty sure it's mostly Pooter's fault though.

Lauraw:

Scroll up, honey. I did not introduce Cedarford to this thread. I just reacted.

Why? Because I do this for fun. I may think Cedarford is the biggest asshole on earth, but defending him just might be fun.

I get the impression that some of you are taking this seriously. Get over it. This is the internet. We are supposed to be having a good time.

So, having now taken a shower:

Good night.

God bless you all.

What's a middle initial among 'friends'?

The photo is certainly a dead ringer and the following quote surely explains some recent posts:

"A long, long time ago, he rode in the Acid Test Bus with Neal Cassady, Jerry Garcia, and lots of other dead crazy people."

Ace, damn you, the flame thread's fallen apart.

I love all you hunchback retards.
Dammit!

Just for fun. Since all you homo 'tards have petered out.

Larry the Cable Guy when he used to be funny

Good grief, y'all still going at it? Well here's my one entry into this:

ALL of YOU who have posted before me are WORSE than 100,000,000 Hitlers raised to the power of 100,000,000 Hitlers.

ANYBODY that flames ME for this post is worse than 100,000,000 Stalins times the result of 100,000,000 Hitlers raised to the power of 100,000,000 Mao's.

Peace Out,
Enas Yorl

Once again, this thread proves that I'm pretty much the only Ace of Spades HQ commenter capable of displaying even simple competence.

I diminish myself by posting in the same threads as most of the rest of you. I think Ace needs to give me some special moderating privileges of my own.

Holy shit, Mikey. What are you, C-man's own personal "Marge Schott"?

"Oh yeah, honey. You know, Cedarford DID do some good things in the beginning. He just went too far. Would you like to pet Schottzie now?"

As far as your argument that he's just gaming everyone with a fake-Nazi act, that's just pathetic. I don't know which is worse; a full blown racist dickhead, or someone who gets his kicks acting like a full blown racist dickhead. Oh yeah, I DO know which is worse: the guy who licks the sack of the full blown racist dickhead in a pathetic attempt to curry his favor.

Ace, either your fabled screenplay licks balls, or else you've made the rookie mistake of using "Alan Smithee" as your pseudonym.

As far as the rest of you go, y'all can just lick my balls - except for lauraw, who can feed me grapes while the rest of you lick my balls.

And you really did miss C's greatest hits Pooter, before you started frequenting this blog.

THAT is absolutely correct and thank you for pointing that out. It's a shame it had to be pointed out in THIS thread, but let's hope it sinks in.

I love all you hunchback retards.

Yeah, Laura, that's what I heard.

(JUST trying to get this flame thread back on track.)

Later,
bbeck

I was wondering when Tits McGee would show up.

So the other day I'm fucking JeffB up his dainty little ass. I've got WrestleMania 48 on Pay Per View, I've got an ashtray between his shoulder blades, and everytime I need to pop open a new Heiney I take the ball-gag out of his mouth and open it with his buck teeth.

Some people would call this deviant behavior. I just call it "Thursday."

So, anyhoo, the Undertaker is putting a modified suplex on one of the Killer Bees and JeffB is so fucking wasted from ruphinol and nine straight hours of spine-bending sodomy the little fairy is falling asleep on all fours, so I stick my goddamned cigarette into his nicely shaved ass but that still doesn't wake him up so I grab a lamp off the nightstand, smash the lightbulb over his head, and then stick the flickering, pulsing electric wires right into his fuckin' ear.

That wakes him up for a second. He says "Tell me you love me" -- well, with the ball-gag in his mouth, actually he says "ulll umm oo lllooff mmff," but I know what the needly little clingy bitch is trying to say -- and I just say shut the fuck up, Susan, the steel cage match is coming up.

Anyway, once I get done using this filthy little boy-whore more than duct-tape on a Russian space station, I make him clean my toilets, paint my house, and detail his car, and while he's doing that I swing by his parents' house and stick my fucking boot up his mother's ass while I'm mouth-raping his dad.

And when I get back home, toilets all nice and sparkling, he says, "Ace and I are the only ones that can do this with any competence."

And I say, "Yeah. Now put your party-dress back on get yourself all nice and pretty. I've got some friends coming over and they're paying me eight bucks each to man-cram you up your squeakhole."

It's not so much funny as true.

I was wondering when Tits McGee would show up.

Your fat ex-boyfriend is here?

BTW, word has it you haven't sold your script because of your poor performance at Sundance's Annual Buffet and Man Orgy. The critiques were something like "Energetic but lousy" and "He needs to control that overbite." And Pat was so into you, too, but you blew it in a big way. A really big way.

Later,
bbeck

You conceited little trollop. Why do you assume Tits McGee is you?

Why do you assume Tits McGee is you?

Hey wishful thinker, I could bag much better guys than you even as a corpulent pre-op...guys who could actually get their pitch-sheets read.

Later,
bbeck

While I'm sure you're a hit at the various sci-fi cons, where you get opened up more often than The Dummies' Guide to Klingon Verb Conjugation, I prefer to be with the sort of women where no Larry Niven has boldy gone before.

As a purely technical critique, Ace, you should know that once you overegg the vulgarity it loses its humor.

Now you just come off looking somewhat disturbed.

Understand that I have no real response to your comment. I mean, sometimes you just have to concede when someone's got you dead-to-rights.

That's the spirit, sweet-cheeks. You and I are the only ones with any competence at this.

And by "this," I mean me feeding my snork-beast up your fun-pipe.

Like a viking, of course.

But I think that only stands to reason.

While I'm sure you're a hit at the various sci-fi cons, where you get opened up more often than The Dummies' Guide to Klingon Verb Conjugation, I prefer to be with the sort of women where no Larry Niven has boldy gone before.

Ace, your biggest problem is going where no quadruped has gone before, boldly or otherwise.

And I really wanted to call you name in Klingon just now, but "Andrew Sullivan's *itch" just doesn't translate.

Later,
bbeck

I don't get that bit about the quadroped, Knockers McSwaine.

Usually to find someone of your wit and charm, one must consult the classified section of Juggs magazine.

I don't get that bit about the quadroped, Knockers McSwaine.

It's quadrUped, Genius McPrick, and I should've known my audience couldn't handle a multisyllabic word.

Usually to find someone of your wit and charm, one must consult the classified section of Juggs magazine.

That reading is a little advanced for your comprehension skills, which is more on a Highlights for Children level. But I'm sure you just look at the pictures anyway...at least the ones that aren't stuck together by your poor aim.

And good GRIEF, you and Jeff B need a f@g seat wedged between the two of you.

Later,
bbeck

Helen Thomas as she french-kisses Maureen Dowd:

"That's the spirit, sweet-cheeks. You and I are the only ones with any competence at this."

Or ace talking to Jeff8 - which is it?

Michael seems pretty cool after this.

wow. viking action.

I'm sipping 30 year old bourbon. mmmmm.

Fuck all y'all.

Thanks for the update, Drunky McGutterRummy.

I should've known my audience couldn't handle a multisyllabic word.

Oh like you just assume we're all in your weird religion. We speak English here, freak.

OK. I'm going to have to threaten you. If anybody else posts on this dead thread, your going to get Batman quotes up the wazoo. I'm serious.

Mikey, its Ace's site.
Three words: Bob. Dole's. Cock.

lauraw:

Did I not fucking warn you?

Batgirl: "I might have known. You can't get policewomen to help you catch mice."

Yeah, like you needed a fucking excuse.

Gordon: "There's only one person who can help us. Batman. Oh, but I can hardly bring myself to call him again."

O'Hara: "Want me to call him?"

Gordon: "No no no, wait, wait. Give me a moment to summon my strength and courage."

Riddler's henchman: "Want a piece of cheese?"
King Boris: "Not without a good vintage port, you lackey."

Batman: "The next time your chief teller goes out for a sandwich and sends a stranger back in his place, scrutinize him carefully. I'm sure I speak for the chairman of the board, millionaire Bruce Wayne, in saying that you owe that to all of your depositors."

Grandstanding hoor.

You want the tiara, don't you, bitch-pooter? Doncha?

Batman, analyzing a bullet in the wall: "Judging from the trajectory of the angle, and figuring the wind at six knots per hour north by northeast as per this morning's weather report...X times six squared...over...logarithm of that...yes! You see? It came from that room on that floor!"

Yup. You got it. Bitch. I want the tiara.

>Batman: "If my calculations are correct..."

Robin: "They usually are."

Batman: "...Someone should be coming through that window within the next six seconds."

Let's finish with a classic, which I've posted before, but in these troubled times it merits repeating:

Batman: "Good, even though it's sometimes sidetracked, always, repeat, always triumphs over evil."

Good night, and God bless you.

OK, you can have the tiara.
It's leaking glitter anyway.
Seriously, looks like fairy dandruff when I wear that thing.
Enjoy.

Skipper: Wow! They sure gave up easily, didn't they Little Buddy!
Gilligan: You said it Skipper! Good thing living on an uncharted island for over 15 years with a random assortment of goofballs gives you a little perspective on the concept of "Dedication"!

Thanks, lauraw.

*puts on tiara, admires self in mirror, contemplates how tiara will coordinate with Batman outfit*

Skipper: Hmmm, it seems a a bit early for the Tiara Award Ceremony doesn't it, Little Buddy?

Gilligan: You said it, Skipper! We haven't even heard from Ginger, Mary Ann, or Mrs. Howell yet. I think they may have something to say about this before its all over!

*Tiara firmly pulled away from Michael and reset on the cushion*

Mrs. Howell: "It ain't over - BITCH!!"

Batman: "In fact, Mr. Wayne is taking Mrs. Harriet Cooper, a devotee of Miss Glaze's, backstage before the performance to meet the dazzling star."
Robin: "While Dick Grayson, I suppose, stays home and works on his essay on glaciers?"

so, I was getting on the subway yesterday, and I happened to pass the AoS himself (known to his friends and that faggot Brewfan as trekkie mcKnobslurper) wearing a green tattered tutu and a hulkamania wifebeater.

as I went to compliment him on his pathetic excuse for an al franken air america impersonation of a radio show, I noticed he had a tatoo on his forehead.

It read:

roses are red,
violets are blue
yesterday brewfan told me he was really cedarford
as we took turns forcing jeff B to have sex with a pig,
after which my high school chess team took turns fucking my mouth.

as i turned to leave, I noticed a tip jar with 3.50 in it.

"Is that for tips?" I politely asked.
"No, thats what i've made so far selling t-shirts" he replied.

oh yeah, I almost forgot. On my way to collect the $5.oo Michaels dad made on the corner giving hand jobs, I stopped by Brewfan's house. After engaging in some three-way action with his mom and sister that would make ron jeremy jealous, I paid them $300.00.

In MONOPOLY money

stupid bitches.

Son of America

P.S. lauraW, love your show.

Ace calls himself a moron blogger; but he usually spells reasonably well, but he did misspell embarrass. Ok, I am apparently a little weak with my jibes in this thread, but you goat humpers are getting a bit out of hand! The fact that you even had mothers that could get laid surprises me. Your sisters too obviously. At least you had your goats; I guess that is something. I know demerits for not working in something specifically gay, but I did not specify the sex of the goat.

Thanks for the update, Drunky McGutterRummy

Granted, you could buy about 5 cases of Valu-Right vodka for the same amount of money.

I have no idea what klonopin goes for. Maybe it's a break even deal.

*sigh*
Fine, yeah, whatever.

What show, Son of America?

This better be F'n funny.

Gosh, I'm reeeally having to search my memory now for Batman quotes. Hmmmm. Oh yeah, here we go:

Catwoman: "If I were to kiss you, would you think I was a bad girl?"

Batman: "Bu...uh...no...No of course not Catwoman."

Trust me. The tiara is going to be mine. I've let lauraw have it in the past, but I'm not fucking around any more. When this thread is deep into the archives, I'll be checking.

Mary Ann: "Ginger, do you think we'll ever get off of this island?"

Ginger: "Well, we would have to kill Gilligan first."

Mary Ann: "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Ginger: "Good thing for him that he's got such a big dick, or he would have been dead a long time ago."

So fucking lame. At least use actual quotes from the show. Unlike me, who has committed every Batman episode to memory, you may need some help. So go here.

Asswipe.

Maryanne & Ginger isn't you Michael??

Nope, not me.

JeffB:

I suppose I'm alone on this thread now, but I forgot to mention something earlier. So, just for the record, the best throw-away line came from you:

"See, but the problem is that stuff like that needs to be funny to work."

Wry humor at its best. Understated. Loved it.

BTW, it could have been better with one more comma. Like this:

See, but the problem is, that stuff like that needs to be funny to work.

The Gilligan's Island stuff is mine. Sorry, Michael - I didn't know the "rules" of your game. It looked like you were just posting random crap attributed to "Batman" characters. I was playing a slightly different game of either channeling thread-specific responses, or exploring some of the alternate show related issues through the various characters.

Obviously, this gives me clear advantage over someone using a more restricted approach to their selected material, but it does also make for a far funnier presentation, IMHO.

If this is to be a duel, I'd suggest we agree on our selection of weapons - pistol or sword? Also, I would like to ask for volunteers to be our Seconds. Anyone?

"It looked like you were just posting random crap attributed to "Batman" characters."

I would never do that. Those were all legitimate quotes from the original TV series starring Adam West. You, sir, are lacking in honor. I shall enjoy dispatching you to your untimely demise.

I choose pistols.

But, um, I do need a second.

Batman: "If Michael quotes another line from Batman, I swear on my grandmother I'll strangle him to death with his own fucking intestines."

Robin: "Like hell you will. I'll shoot him through his fucking eye first."

Still need a second. Ceeeeeeeeeeeedarford?" Where are you buddy, now that I need you?

OK, so while we're waiting for seconds, let me entertain you:

Robin: "That's an impossible shot, Batman."
Batman: "That's a negative attitude, Robin."

(Grinning maniacally) Pray tell me, good Sir Ace, should I take from your recent comments a sign that I have your favour in this contest? If so, would you consent to be my Second in light of Michael's beseechment of the vile Cedarford?

Also, I must say I favor the sword in this contest. We are at odds on this matter, so as such I think we should throw open the Rules of the Duel to our community and hear them speak, and abide by the decision thereof.

What say you?

If you think about that last Batman quote, it pretty much sums up entire global war on terror. It's an impossible shot, and do we have the resolve to make it?

Enas:

You are obviously an uncouth Yankee, not familiar with the Code of Chivalry. So let me explain this. You are the challenger. That means the choice of weapons is mine. And I choose pistols, as soon as we get some fucking seconds to attend to our wounds when we get shot!

Michael,

Challenger!? You merely declared victory on a field of battle where there was no victory. You've never had a legitimate claim on the tiara at all, and as such you are as much a challenger as I am. Again, I put the selection of our weapons to the community. You seem somewhat fearful of their selection.

Why don't you two girls just hit each other with your purses?

HAH!

So sorry I said 'tiara.'
Should have said 'magical pantyhose' or 'enchanted tampon.'

Excuse me, but I do have some pride. I will not duel with a purse -- unless it's a Prada. I would be sooooooo embarrassed if bbeck saw me with anything less.

Good idea.
Fill it up with 10 lbs of earrings, loose change, keys, extra buttons, cosmetics, and bobby pins, and you've got yourself a deadly weapon.

Wow! a real life internet cyber-duel!

Do you guys speak klingon too, or have you moved on to creating your own trekkie language?

Seriously though. Michael, your mom called. she said if you don't take out the trash, shes going to spank you

And no, she doesn't care if you are 35 years old.

Son of America

Now I'm not so sure. Some of Gucci bags are to die for. I'm really having a hard time making up my mind.

SOA, you sound like a fashion maven. Which is your favorite?

"SOA, you sound like a fashion maven"

you misspelled 'turd burglar'

HTH

I think you might want to ask ace that one, michael.

but I have a feeling he will like the fake Gucci better.

He seems to have a craving for cheap knockoffs of the real thing.

After all, look at this website.

Brewfan, nice of you to join us.

I guess your NAMBLA meeting ran short, then?

Reading the last several posts of this supposedly dead thread made it clear that:

egomania + limp cock = Michael Meyer

And typing that made me realize that:

drool + limp cock = ace

no nuts + limp cock = jeff8

And that son of america has no class at all.

Happy non-humping, guys.

Hey! Still going strong I see! Just checking in with this:

King Arthur: "Old woman!"
Old Woman(?): "Man!"
King Arthur: "What?"
Old Man(?): "I'm a man, not a woman!"
King Arthur: "Sorry. Old Man!"
Old(?) Man: "I'm 37!"
King Arthur: "What?"
37 Year Old Man: "I'm 37, not old!"
King Arthur: "Well, I couldn't just call you 'Man'!"
37 Year Old Man: "You could have said 'Dennis'!"
King Arthur: "I didn't know you were called Dennis!"
Dennis: "And you didn't bother to find out, did you?"

!