Ace of Spades HQ

« Roberts, Etc.: Kristol Likes, Barnes Is So-So, Coulter Sees A Souter | Main | Saudi Ambassador To The US Prince Bandar Quits For "Personal Reasons" »

July 20, 2005

"Kill Him"

Last entry in Ruffini's rundown of reactions; posted over at (where else?) Kos, but then deleted.

Occasionally I play net-nanny and ask commenters to be restrained in their rhetoric. I guess I will do so again.

Please refrain from nasty homophobic attacks, racist attacks on Muslims (please differentiate between Islamofascists and just plain Muslims), suggesting that "maybe Hitler went after the wrong people," suggesting that liberals (as opposed to liberalISM) be "eradicated," etc.

Comments like that make this site, and the entire conservative movement, look pretty bad. They reflect poorly on me and don't do much to convince moderates to side with us.

And, if we're busily patrolling the Kosmonauts for their unhinged and nasty rhetoric, it's a bit hypocritical to engage in it ourselves.

So... you can make your points in less heated and hateful terms, and it's both more polite and politic to do so as well.

None of this applies to Cedarford, of course. Quite frankly, I've come to appreciate his anti-Jew screeds. It's amusing to me that 2% of the American population (and much less of the world population) can be responsible for so much evil.

Jews are like the Drow ("Dark Elves"), I guess, except with yarmulkes instead of those cool one-handed poisoned crossbows.

Wait-- no, not the Drow. They're not evil or crafty enough. Mind flayers!

Magical Powers: Psionic blast, Suggestion, Hypnotism, Power Word: Stun.

Magic Items: A blessed dreidl; the phone number for Dr. Stanley Kornbluth, the best damn internist in Manhattan.

Funny Exchange... On Roberts' nomination:

"Felonious:" Sounds like he'll be another corporate lapdog like all of bushes appointments. Just what the country needs, another suit.

LauraW: Yeah, he should have put a cool hippy type in the HIGHEST FUCKING COURT IN THE LAND, you drooling halfwit. Shouldn't you be cleaning your bong?

Note to Felonious: Lawyers wear suits. Let me cite L.A. Law, seasons 1 through 8.

One time I hired a lawyer who wore an old ratty Ocean Pacific long-sleeved tee-shirt (I think it had a picture of a guy surfing on a shark's back) and tie-dyed culottes.

I spent the next three years in the joint.

So, you know: You can't judge a book by its cover, but if your attorney takes his fashion cues from Delgrassi Junior High, you might want to seek alternative representation.

posted by Ace at 03:50 PM

Comments

Useing your guidelines, what's OK to say about these charming people:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/07/17/nbest17.xml&sSheet=/news/2005/07/17/ixhome.html

Posted by: max on July 20, 2005 03:58 PM

I'm frequently amazed at how hysterical the Left has become, paricularly since the '04 election.

I don't know if INTERNET has created more hysterics, or if it's just that the hysterics are more visible lately.

Either way, it seems like we're having a national epidemic of Histrionic and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

(I don't know about the Mind Flayer thing ... do jooos have infravision?)

Posted by: Phinn on July 20, 2005 04:00 PM

Max,

One could say they should be arrested and be prosecuted and incarcerated to the full extent of the law.

Posted by: ace on July 20, 2005 04:01 PM

lease refrain from nasty homophobic attacks...

Even if you're a self-loathing queer?...[sigh]...

I guess this also means no more faboofuntastic Sully bashing posts? ; )

Posted by: The Ugly American on July 20, 2005 04:01 PM

You can also call them assholes or fucknuts.

But you can't say they should be killed by vigilante conservatives.

I don't think that's a very strict rule.

Posted by: ace on July 20, 2005 04:02 PM

...cause I *really* hate queers...

Posted by: The Ugly American on July 20, 2005 04:03 PM

The gay thing is a gray area, because there is a way to say things with a smile that aren't really terribly homophobic.

But yeah, to be honest, I read a lot of attacks on Sullivan in the comments that are based on nothing except the fact that he's a homosexual. As if that alone were enough to condemn him.

It's one thing to criticize Sullivan for being a single-issue hysterical hack who views everything in terms of gay marriage. It's another thing to just say he sucks cock and so he's bad.

Posted by: ace on July 20, 2005 04:04 PM

Ace,

Thanks for the 2nd eply. When I read your post and then your 1st reply to my comment I was beginning to think you were trying to take all of the fun out of the site or on the wagon, or both.

Posted by: max on July 20, 2005 04:06 PM

Then you *really* need psych help.

Posted by: on July 20, 2005 04:06 PM

Seriously - the one thing you can ALWAYS do, to improve the quality of a post, is to make D&D / Fantasy references.

Just watch of for the alhoons (WOTC's lawyers) :P
/TJ

Posted by: TJ on July 20, 2005 04:07 PM

... 'cause if they had infravision, it'd be kinda unusual. For a human.

Unless Jews really are Mind Flayers. Then, it'd just be, you know, normal.

Posted by: Phinn on July 20, 2005 04:08 PM

Gotta love R. A. Salvatore!

Posted by: on July 20, 2005 04:09 PM

.
Um, Ace, what makes you think that our kippot (the preferred term for the little skullcaps we wear) aren't weapons? Why do you think we wear those funky prayer shawls?

Truth is, we already possess advanced bio-tech weaponry: schmaltz -- chicken fat -- that'll clog your arteries faster than you can say gefilte fish, and matzah, that'll clog your tuchas faster than Excitable Andy at a gay-pride kosher weiner roast (and no, I have NO idea what that means, just taking a gratuitous metaphoric shot at EA).

Shalom, y'all!

Posted by: speedster1 on July 20, 2005 04:11 PM

speedster1, do you have infravision?

Posted by: Phinn on July 20, 2005 04:12 PM

You can also call them assholes or fucknuts.

As long as I have fucknut, I'll be ok.

And shit sack.

Oh, and crap weasel.

Hmmmmm......probably also need fuckface, dicknose, and asslick.

Butt sniffer I don't use much. You can keep that one. Also willing to negotiate on douchebag. It's a bit overrated, and besided I think doucheface has a far better ring.

Jackoff, I can live without, too. It's a bit hypocritical for me to be throwing that one around if all you jerkoffs get my drift.

Bitch nipples I'll get back to you on. It can come in handy once in awhile. Sorta like a pipe wrench. You don't use it often, but it's nice to have in your tool chest.

Speaking of tools, you can keep all of those. They're kinda 1997, you know?

Now, all the whore stuff I need to keep just in case there's another haiku flame war. Some of them bitches where getting a bit uppity the last time.

Posted by: The Warden on July 20, 2005 04:15 PM

Kill Ace!!

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on July 20, 2005 04:18 PM

It's another thing to just say he sucks cock and so he's bad.

If he could only calm his hysterical head twitching long enough to give you decent blowjob.

Posted by: The Ugly American on July 20, 2005 04:18 PM

Phinn:

But of course! We own everything:

http://www.infravision.net/

Bwahahahaha!

Posted by: speedster1 on July 20, 2005 04:20 PM

So heterosexual white people are still fair game though, right?

[sorry...full 'o beans t'day...]

Posted by: The Ugly American on July 20, 2005 04:24 PM

I reread the original post and the comments and now it's all coming together:

"3 years in the joint" and

a defense of Andrew Sullivan as a cxocksucker.

Ace, please tell us (and Andrew) more about those 3 years.

Posted by: max on July 20, 2005 04:27 PM

John from Wuzzadem,

I don't know why, but your comment made me laugh out loud.

Posted by: The Warden on July 20, 2005 04:36 PM

Dude, 'homophobic' isn't a word.

Posted by: someone on July 20, 2005 04:46 PM

Warden,

How does "fucknozzle" work for you?

Posted by: J. Wilde on July 20, 2005 04:50 PM

Yeah, I'm down with that one.

Posted by: The Warden on July 20, 2005 04:52 PM

Kill Ace!!

Goddam it ACE, you have to admit - it's funny!

Posted by: 72 VIRGINS on July 20, 2005 04:53 PM

I bet the DUer's were hoping the nominee would be William Pryor just so the could be witty and use all of the KILL BILL puns.

By the way Warden, I like fuckwad. Hope that meets with your approval.

Posted by: Dman on July 20, 2005 04:57 PM

I don't mind that at all.

But if John from Wuzzadem wants a piece of me-- I just have three questions.

Where, when, and how would his mother best like to be monkey-fucked to help her through the grieving process?

Posted by: ace on July 20, 2005 04:59 PM

I dunno, the guy gets an internet radio show and all of a sudden he's Al Franken

Posted by: Iblis on July 20, 2005 05:02 PM

Hey, all I was trying to do was incite a hostile mob to come after you with torches and pitchforks and rip you limb from limb.

No need to get personal.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on July 20, 2005 05:06 PM

LauraW has been on an insane comment spree lately. Keep it up!

Posted by: Master of None on July 20, 2005 05:27 PM

Judging by his shape and demeanor, I think you'd have to classify Ted Kennedy as a beholder.

Posted by: Steve in Houston on July 20, 2005 05:37 PM

JEWS HAVE INFRAVISION!!!! THEY REALLY ARE MIND FLAYERS!!!!!!

Run for your liiiiiiiiives ...

Posted by: Phinn on July 20, 2005 05:58 PM

Lionel Hutz didn't wear a suit - the attorney on the Simpsons and the first one to debunk LA Law:

"Yeah, like real lawyers have secretaries and wear suits. Look he's wearing a belt. That's Hollywood for you."

Posted by: Ranting Raven on July 20, 2005 05:59 PM

How do monkeys do it? Upside down? Do you really want to make an old lady hang by her ankles while she services you? You cruel bastard!

Posted by: on July 20, 2005 06:15 PM

It would probably be pompous and condescending to say that I'm impressed by this post, so I won't.

By the way, I have it on good authority that Jewish assassins also have a penchant for small poison-tipped crossbows.

Posted by: Bill from INDC on July 20, 2005 07:25 PM

Dang, I hate to be the one but- it's Degrassi Junior High, Ace.

Also, I'm more inclined to classify Ted Kennedy as a gas spore- looks like a Beholder but in fact has no special powers and is filled with noxious gas.

Posted by: Kahuna on July 20, 2005 08:11 PM

Leaving no dead thread un-poked:

1) There were both Degrassi High and Degrassi Jr. High series. Sort of a Saved By The Bell type deal.

2) The mind flayer really looks like Cthulhu - or is it Nyarlathotep?
2b.) Anyone wanna get together an online CoC game, or are we all past that stage in our lives?

3) Lionel Hutz does so wear a suit - it has breasts and frontal pockets. Plus a tie. Which he removes (and burns?) during his transformation into Miguel Sanchez, or whenever he's hitting the bottle.

Posted by: Knemon on July 25, 2005 05:20 AM

Amazon.com Widgets

Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]

Top Headlines

What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*

Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
* Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV.
Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.

A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR.
Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him.
LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.

The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others.
But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring:
"But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said."
In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power."
I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron.
Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring.
I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do.
But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.

Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD]

TJM acts like he knows anything about John Wick and screenwriting. It's embarrassing, really.

Podcast: Sefton and CBD talk about how would a peace treaty with Iran work, Democrats defending murderers and rapists, The GOP vs. Dem bench for 2028, composting bodies? And more!

Oh, I forgot to mention this quote from Pete Hegseth, reported by Roger Kimball: "We are sharing the ocean with the Iranian Navy. We're giving them the bottom half."

Batman fires The Batman
Batman is disgusted by the Joachim Phoenix version of Joker
Batman tries to fire Superman
Batman is still workshopping his Bat-Voice

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Red Leather Suit and Sweatband Edition
And I was here to please
I'm even on knees
Makin' love to whoever I please
I gotta do it my way
Or no way at all

Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)

Sec. Army recognizes ODU Army ROTC cadets for their bravery and sacrifice in private ceremony
[Hat Tip: Diogenes] [CBD]

TJM gives you a brief tour of his movie collection.

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
One day I'm gonna write a poem in a letter
One day I'm gonna get that faculty together
Remember that everybody has to wait in line
Oh, [Song Title], look out world, oh, you know I've got mine

US decimation of Iran's ICBM forces is due to Space Force's instant detection of launches -- and the launchers' hiding places -- and rapid counter-attack via missiles
AI is doing a lot of the work in analyzing images to find the exact hiding place of the launchers. Counter-strikes are now coming in four hours after a launch, whereas previously it might have taken days for humans to go over the imagery and data.

Robert Mueller, Former Special Counsel Who Probed Trump, Dies

“robert mueller just died,” trump wrote in a truth social post on march 21. “good, i’m glad he’s dead. he can no longer hurt innocent people! president donald j. trump.”

TJM has thoughts on Superheros and Iconography

Canadian School Designates Cafeteria And Lunchroom As "No Food Zones" For Ramadan
Canada and the UK are neck and neck in the race to become the first western country to fall to Islam [CBD]

Chuck Norris, Action Icon and 'Walker Texas Ranger' Star, Dies at 86

Podcast: Sefton and CBD have a short chat about Iran, the disgusting SAVE Act theater, Mamdani's politicizing of St. Patrick's Day, and more!

Official confirmation from the Joint Chiefs of Staff: the Warthog is now strafing Iranian fast attack boats