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July 14, 2005

Al Gore's "Current TV" Fiasco-In-Waiting

Current TV's target audience?

Our target consumer is authentic, a person who really cares about what's going on in their world. They are 18-34-year-old young adults, both male and female who have graduated from MTV and are looking for more depth, reality and lifestyle appeal in their media.

More depth and reality than can be found on MTV? The duece you say!

This is going to be a disaster.

By the way... the target consumer is "authentic"? First of all, who doesn't consider themselves "authentic"?

But more importantly-- those who place the most emphasis on being "authentic" are the most inauthentic people in the world. It's a derangement of the young (and many baby boomers, who never grew out of the quixotic and sophormoric seventeen-year-old mindset), the need to adopt some new "deep" persona that isn't actually one's own but borrowed from a mentor or celebrity or a book or a political theory. Those who strive most for "authenticity" subvert their own authentic personalities, desires, and preferences in order to emulate the persona of someone they deem "authentic."

Al Gore: the very model of "authenticity."

Can't wait. Cannot wait.

Thanks to Charles.

Correction: The newsletter forwarded to me said the interviewee's name was "Karl Marx," but that was later corrected. It's just Carl Carter. Not sure how they messed that one up.

Loose shit on my part.

posted by Ace at 03:55 PM

Comments

Uh, is that link right? That doesn't seem to be about Al Gore's VP Marketing.

Posted by: on July 14, 2005 04:02 PM

So what? The VP of Faux News is Aldoph Hister. Seriously, look it up you stupid twat wingnut.

Posted by: on July 14, 2005 04:02 PM

I was the first person up there.

What is it with your trolls? There's been a downgrading in vocabulary, for one.

Posted by: meep on July 14, 2005 04:16 PM

By the way, here's the website of Current TV:
http://www.current.tv/

Posted by: meep on July 14, 2005 04:17 PM

"I'm authentic because I wear Abercrombie & Fitch shirts, Birkenstocks and Old Navy jeans!" - Current TV viewers say...

Posted by: Josh on July 14, 2005 04:18 PM

Hey Ace,

Juan Cole says it's ok to delete this post or update it as needed.

Posted by: TheDude on July 14, 2005 04:19 PM

really meep, what's the deal? they're very lame today.

it's like stepping in dog shit.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on July 14, 2005 04:21 PM

His name is Karl Carter and is VP of marketing "and vanguard ideas":
http://www.current.tv/docs/KarlCarter.pdf

Uh huh.

Anyway, someone was pulling your leg.

Posted by: meep on July 14, 2005 04:21 PM

"The VP of Faux News is Aldoph Hister. Seriously, "

Wasn't he mentioned in a Nostradamus quatrane?

Tob

Posted by: on July 14, 2005 04:22 PM

Authenticity. Another marketing scam preying on the fact we've conquered nature and now, our brains - constantly churning anxiety generators - scan the empty landscape of our 'easy street' lives, and seeing no real enemies left, settle for the mild self-hatred of aesceticism, striving to find greater meaning and purpose in the irrelevant minutae of our remaining struggles: the choice of salad dressings and toilet papers.

Screw you, 'authentics.'

Posted by: Guy Dupree on July 14, 2005 04:28 PM

Dog,

I'm "current" 'cuz I be keepin' it real. Not like you sheep who be watchin Lifetime or HBO.

Word.

(Since I be here, I like to toss this shout out to my posse. WORD MFA's!)

Posted by: rightnumberone on July 14, 2005 04:31 PM

Speaking of "authentic" people. This person I know graduates from hs, declares she is a lesbian, and jumps off the deepend into leftwing politics. She lectured us endlessly about capitalism, corporations, and greed. So she finished her business degree and moved to Frisco to work at the Gap corporate office.
When she comes home, she still lectures us about the same old crap. Cognitive dissonance anyone?

Posted by: TheDude on July 14, 2005 04:34 PM

Personally, I can't wait for the first edition of the 'digital brownshirt report' with Bill Moyers and Dan Rather. Should be great.

Posted by: Defense Guy on July 14, 2005 05:01 PM

So she finished her business degree and moved to Frisco to work at the Gap corporate office. When she comes home, she still lectures us about the same old crap.

Like I always say: never let an ideology of envy, resentment, socialistic enslavement and economic nonsense get in the way of distributing slightly overpriced bland semi-casual clothes for suburban yuppies.

I'm always sayin' that.

Posted by: Phinn on July 14, 2005 05:07 PM

Yay!!

I hope Teresa gets her own show. She can teach young, inexperienced libs the correct dosage of happy pills to use to 'take the edge off' when giving a speech in front of DNC.

Some suggested show titles;
Al's Hour of Vein Poppin' Rage
Spring Break Honies with Billy Zipper
Vermont: Melting Pot, hosted by Dr. Dean

Posted by: lauraw on July 14, 2005 05:10 PM

are looking for more depth, reality and lifestyle appeal in their media.

Holy shit, I haven't read this kind horsedump in awhile. "lifestyle appeal in their media."??? I wasn't aware that media had "lifestyle appeal" until these geniuses just informed me of it. Does that mean they want their media to appeal to their lifestyle? Do they actually think this is something unique? Or are these Liberal Code Words for: we support the radical feminist agenda, gays, abortion, degeneracy, drugs, alcoholism, anti-americanism, government sponsored racism against white people (men in particular) and all the rest of the Radical Liberal Agenda. Cheesh! I Thank God that most people can see through this horseshit for it it really is, and I know it will fail.

Posted by: wretched refuse on July 14, 2005 05:13 PM

"lifestyle appeal in their media."

Code words for "MORE HOMOS"

Posted by: Master of None on July 14, 2005 05:15 PM

Gore is going to go head to head with Queer TV?
The poor sap is doomed. How can the guy who doesn't know how an Alpha male is supposed to dress compete with the fag five?

Posted by: Iblis on July 14, 2005 05:27 PM

Well it looks like the reign of Chevy Chase and Magic Johnson as the worst tv hosts ever is about to come to an end

Posted by: WindyCity on July 14, 2005 05:57 PM

Please let Janeane Garofalo host her own show
Please let Janeane Garofalo host her own show
Please let Janeane Garofalo host her own show
Please let Janeane Garofalo host her own show
Please let Janeane Garofalo host her own show
Please let Janeane Garofalo host her own show

Aaaand.....
A show about economics in America called Soup Kitchen.

Pretty please with cherries and sugar and flaming brandy on top!

Posted by: lauraw on July 14, 2005 08:33 PM

Do I seem too enthusiastic?
Sorry.

Note to liberal trolls:
I am really, really upset about this whole liberal TV thing. The last thing we Rethuglikkkans want is a bigger megaphone for you to get your message of peace and tolerance out. Because the American people would totally eat it up. Really. That would totally suck. I really, really, really mean it. Really.

Oh dear. Its almost time to skin them rabbits. Talk later! 'Ta!

Posted by: lauraw on July 14, 2005 09:06 PM

I wonder whether air america can stand the competition. Will both listeners tune out in favour of the TV?

Posted by: Ring on July 14, 2005 09:22 PM

mmmmmmm.... flaming brandy...

Posted by: Claire on July 14, 2005 09:37 PM

*wiping blood from hands*

Took a break to offer another show title.

Honky Talk, with Rev. Al Sharpton

Posted by: lauraw on July 14, 2005 10:12 PM

Promo clip from Rev. Al Sharpton's late-night show:

"Caller, are you a honky?"
-(giggle) why, yes! (giggle)
"Thought so, Miss blue-eyed devil. What's on your mind?"

.....................................

Hilarity ensues. Oh, yes.

Posted by: lauraw on July 14, 2005 10:19 PM

How about an animated series based on the cartoons of Ted Rall?

Americans would love that.

Posted by: Slublog on July 14, 2005 10:43 PM

I'm an American, and I can testify that the very thought puts me in stitches.

Posted by: lauraw on July 14, 2005 11:10 PM

Here's their proposed Thursday night lineup

7:00 Queer eye for the even queerer guy
8:00 Everybody Loves Raymond's Ass
9:00 CSI: San Francisco --Special Hamster Removal Unit

Posted by: Master of None on July 14, 2005 11:18 PM

Suggested Primetime

8 p.m. - Law and Order: Thought Crimes Unit

9 p.m. - The Joy of Copying Other People's Art with Ward Churchill

9:30 p.m. - Rallimation

10 p.m. - Crazy White Guy Losing His Shit with host Howard Dean.

This channel has promise.

Posted by: Slublog on July 14, 2005 11:33 PM

Please let Janeane Garofalo host her own show

No such luck, Laura. Being a visual medium, a TV show would require she do something radical, like wash her hair on a semi-regular basis. I think even the demands of a weekly show would go against her current hygiene schedule.

Anyone want to hide from Janeane Garofalo? Duck under a bar of soap.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck on July 15, 2005 12:35 AM

There are times when it's really fun to mock liberals and liberalism.

Then there are those times when you realize that many of them really are nothing more than vicious assholes, if you'll pardon the profanity.

I'm very happy these people don't have power, and intend to do what I can to help keep it that way until an honest liberal assumes a leadership position and slaps some sense back into the loony left, or just encourages democrats to abandon it altogether.

Posted by: Slublog on July 15, 2005 01:04 AM

Kind of reminds me of the Suncom commerical, "Truth in wireless." Bunch of bullshit.

Posted by: Jenny on July 15, 2005 08:57 AM

You guys, laughing so hard over here I got the tears. You're killing me.

Posted by: lauraw on July 15, 2005 09:27 AM

The The:

"I was trying so hard to be myself
I was turning into somebody else."

Posted by: Scotian on July 15, 2005 05:04 PM

That last comment was in reference to those fools who fancy themselves as being more "authentic" than others.

Posted by: Scotian on July 15, 2005 05:15 PM

The real me

'Authenticity'
is for born liars and fools
afraid of themselves

No one is that cool
no one is very stylish
we're all just critters

When you find out who
your real friends are, and love them;
home, yourself, at last.

Posted by: lauraw on July 15, 2005 10:10 PM

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Top Headlines

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

Tucker Carlson is pretty sure Trump is a wizard

Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]

Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!

TJM definitively ranks the films of Billy Wilder, like Some Like It Hot

TJM talks about Billy Wilder

Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.

Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys
Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.

Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain