Your Intrepid Reporter

I tried to get into the Comedy Cellar last night without reservations. I lied, I tried to read the list to grab someone else's name, I even claimed I was "media" and there to review the show. No dice.

I give myself great props for dropping that c***s***er "media" lie with a straight face and even a hint of "Don't you know who I am?"

But I did get to see Greg Giraldo (best known as one of the funniest regulars on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn; more on that in a moment) as he was about to enter the club and as he was chatting with the Philippino woman who was guarding the door like a Nazi commandant. I told Girgaldo that if he could get me into the show, there would be "Hand-jobs a-plenty."

Well, he did a semi-fake laugh (it's tough to get comics to laugh, as they 1) have heard it all before and 2) are fragile-ego'd damaged persons who cannot bear to acknowledge someone else has uncorked a decent joke), and he didn't inquire further into my offer. If he had, I would have gotten to the actual punchline, which was that I wasn't offering him hand-jobs a-plenty; I was offering him the opportunity to provide such hand-love to me.

Oh, well.

He was wearing jeans and a leather jacket and not doing a very good job of convincing people he was a 17-year-old Young Turk rebel working in an autobody shop like a Columbian member of Danny & Kinicke's T-Bird dorkgang.

If you're curious about the ignominious fate of Colin Quinn's show, I got the scuttlebutt from the bouncer, who of course must have been a comic wannabe. He sure didn't seem particularly imposing; he seemed like a sweet-natured guy who wouldn't hurt a whisker on a bunny's nose.

But he says Comedy Central liked the premise of Tough Crowd, but, for whatever reason (political bias?) didn't like Colin Quinn. So Greg Giraldo will be hosting a show which is basically a complete clone of Colin Quinn's Tough Crowd (which, you know, was sort of just a clone of Politically Incorrect anyway), but without Colin.

I missed my opportunity to pitch a show-title for Girlado: Tough Crowd Without Colin Quinn.

So, no actual comedy, but I did get entertained by cab-driver named Julio who explained the dangers of being a cab-driver, his various run-ins with people who wanted to shoot him and take his money, and the dumb policy of New York's Taxi and Limousine Commission which forbids cab-drivers to carry any weapons at all, including mace, pepper spray, or even a baseball bat.