Yet again... you are a little behind.

High-larious though.

Greg, is that some kind of ultra-subtle pun?

LOL...

Ace, I'm dyin' here! Saw this about a year ago.

You da man.

P.S. Didya hear about those new, smaller sound files? They're called "mp3's". Yeah, they're totally cool. Wonder if anyone could, like, make a Walkman-type thingie to play them and stuff.

Ace, I'm dyin' here! Saw this about a year ago.

Dogstar, no: YOU are the man. For making it clear that Ace is still dwelling in the past. Unbelievable.

Hey Ace, are you reeling in the years?

By the way, "So bless me, bless me - teach me about John Wesley" - best line in the song. That one made me laugh out loud.

Well, that was new to me.

GREAT parody. I didn't take it as a slam against believers, tho, but as making fun of a really stupid song.

Later,
bbeck

My favorite was "So Ladies Ladies Ladies if you wanna stay out of Hades".

I enjoyed that a lot. But then, I'm a red stater.

Related: http://www.unoriginalchristian.com/

In the interest of equal time, I did a search for "Ayn Rand products" and found this:

http://www.individualistvoice.com/store.html

Nothing speaks to the synergy between reason and production quite like an "out of stock" Rand sweatshirt.

And be sure to buy a "Question Conformity" bumper sticker - c'mon, all your friends have one!

Jeff B-

Yeah, but he's OUR Ace. We can make fun, but any one of us would kick an outsider's sorry ass if they tried.

That lovable, cuddly goofball. Good old Ace.

You guys are like the people in high school who made fun of me for "discovering" this great band called Thin Lizzy.

..::soapbox up::..

Ugh. I go to a Christian university, and that guy came as a chapel speaker and he played that video. I knew it was coming, so I left the room. I can't stand people like that who give credence to the stereotype that Christians are all incredibly lame.

..::soapbox down::..

So, Ace is "reeling in the years" but he's "never going back to his old school."

Every else beat me to it by telling how we all beat you to it.

That's okay, Ace-- you're still relevant to me.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Ace,

Get with the times, man. Blogging has been around for years, nobody's doing it any more.

Sheesh

BTW, is there anyone who posts on this site and is willing to admit that they were cool in high school? Because, somehow, I don't think we'd be here if we were one of the cool kids.

I was in the Theater Guild. Not quite as bad as runnig the projecter like Ace as a member of the Audio-Visual Club, but still pretty bad.

Here are a few more guesses:

Cedarford was in the German Society.

Hobgoblin was on the Debate Team that almost made it to the Oregon State Semi-Finals.

Allah took karate lessons but got his ass kicked anyway by the jocks because he was just so frigging skinny.

Lipstick Dynamite was in the Poetry Club, which published an annual magazine that she would kill to keep us from seeing.

Lauraw was on the Yearbook Committee.

Utron was a band geek. And he didn't play something cool, like saxophone or drums. He played the clarinet.

Megan was in the Audio-Visual Club with Ace, which explains a lot.

RWS may be an exception. She was probably a cheerleader, but she was not really cool because she wouldn't put out.

Just guessing.

Hmmm... So Ace went to high school between 74 and 77. I'm gonna figure you out Ace. Just you wait and see...;-)

Michael,

pretty good.

wrong state, but close. Only once did a debate "meet" (or whatever it was called), and never got close to statewide competition.

Also hung out with the "cool" kids and partied, but probably not "cool" myself.

But the "Theater Guild"?

Now I understand the hostility over my win . . .

Michael, You would be correct on both counts sir.

You would know that if you were reading my blog in which I posted on cheerleaders yesterday. (with a cheeleader pic too......cuz my son is a chick magnet)

Michael, you'd have to define "cool." I never saw any "cool" kids in high school, just ones who thought they were "cool" and thought others believed them to be "cool" as well.

Later,
bbeck

bbeck: "Michael, 've never seen "money." I've seen what the government consideres "money" and what others acceopt as "money," but "money" does not exist."

lol

Is anything real if you don't believe it, bbeck?

just askin'

; )

Someone is definitely going to hell for that stupid parody, and that person is you, ace.

[1] And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. [2] And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years, [3] And cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season.

So prophesies St. John the Divine.

You deserve no less for this outrage, Ace.

RWS, I think it's awesome that your kid got to feel his first hot-chick bobbie against his arm yesterday. The memories will linger well into aolescence, or at least until you find the cheerleader pr0n mag.

Ahhh, being like 12 and having a hot young woman show you some (legal, mild) love.

I still remember the luau hottie from the family trip to Hawaii in fifth grade

Nothin better.

RWS:

Actually, I did catch the cheerleader thing on your site. As for you not putting out, um, call it a lucky guess.

Michael, you'd have to define "cool." I never saw any "cool" kids in high school, just ones who thought they were "cool" and thought others believed them to be "cool" as well.

bbeck:

Yup, I thought so. You were in the Philosophical Society, and had coke-bottle glasses.

Hob, "cool" is an abstract concept while money is not.

Really, do you think ANYONE would say, "Oh yeah, I was cool in high school?"...even the ones who thought they were? Not only that, did people actually think of themselves as "cool" back then? Do people think of themselves as "cool" now?

Later,
bbeck

I'm so glad I never went to high school.

Heh, Michael. Try again.

I wasn't in the Philosophy Club, and I didn't start wearing glasses til about 5 years ago (and they're reading glasses that admittedly I don't wear as much as I should, like now).

Later,
bbeck

Who says the clarinet is "squaresville"? When I played the instrumental break in "Nights in White Satin," people were weeping, I tell you.

Seriously, the only reason I know you didn't lay hands on my yearbook was because you didn't mention my sterling debating career. Guessing my instrument was a bit creepy.

PS: I DID take philosophy, tho, in both HS and college as electives. Don't know if that counts.

Later,
bbeck

Monty:

If you're going to start posting Bible verses again, so will I. It will be my Bible search engine against yours, mister, and you know I'm good.

Hob, my son is EIGHT and you are SICK.

Geeze. What are you? A lawyer?

Oh wait. oh yeah.

You are....;-)

bbeck,

I'm just tweaking your disdain for social convention as an authoritative standard. When most people agree on somethign as amorphous as "coolness," a social consensus would seem like a good measure of the truth of the thing

Essentially, where the issue is one of social perception, that perception can shape the truth.

Michael:

You wound me, sir. I refer to my own, personal copy of the King James Bible, which I received as a wee lad for reciting all the books of said Bible (both Old and New Testaments, thankyouverymuch). With the words of Our Precious Lord in red. The cover still bears the imprint of a Mr. Pibb I was drinking at the Christian Youth Picnic, and there are doodles in the margins of Exodus where I got bored during Sunday School.

(The binding is kinda letting go after all these years, though. I have to be careful when leafing around Ezekiel, or the pages fall out.)

Internet Bibles. Pfft.

RWS, I'm not being "sick," I just remember how wonderful it was to be near beautiful women, even at a relatively young age. That's the age for sweet crushes by boys on young (but "mature") women. Not sick at all. Really rather cute.

I still remember the luau hottie from the family trip to Hawaii in fifth grade

I'm guessing every guy has a golden pre-adolescent memory like that. Or should. I remember my dental hygienist, who would actually rub up against me whilst attending to my teeth. God how I loved getting my teeth cleaned.

You wound me, sir. I refer to my own, personal copy of the King James Bible

Nice try, Monty, but it looks to me like you're quoting from the New International Version.

See RWS? It's sweet.

And it leads to good dental hygiene.

Got it, hob, but I never went in for the whole "perception is truth" notion.

Now, if Michael asked about being "Popular" and was using "cool" synonymously, that would be easier to answer. I certainly wasn't popular, but then, I didn't place any value on being that way so I didn't pursue interests that would have increased my popularity. (As Aesop said, "He who has many friends has no friends." :)) I was happy with the few friends I had and didn't worry about the social labels some folks may have attached.

Later,
bbeck

Ahhh... the power of the boobs.

Turns intelligent men into slobbering fools.

I like it.

Busted! See what I get for going the lazy route? Some annoying pedant will always catch you out.

Or as Titus puts it:

"For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, especially they of the circumcision"

Unruly, vain, and circumcised: that's me. I hang my head in shame. (Seriously true about the beat-up Good Book, though; I just can't lay my hand to it right now.)

"I never went in for the whole "perception is truth" notion

generally, me either. but in social conventions, it seems more correct. I doubt there's a concrete "cool" out there that can transcend social situations, so I'm just guessing that when most people within a given population agree on something so foolish, that's a good enough consensus for me.

Unless of course TOO MANY people think something is cool, cuz then it's not.

; )

You wound me, sir. I refer to my own, personal copy of the King James Bible

A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart. His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.

(Proverbs 26: 24-26)

^^^"colon" is me ^^^

Michael,

Ooh, that's a good one. Much better than my random pick from Titus.

One thing about the KJV Bible always foozled me, though: what was with all the random italics?

"For his heart was hardened, and he did go into the land of Junkheezer, where he knew his wife Gertrude."

(And I love the euphonious use of knew in this context; it's amazingly dirty and totally blameless all at once.)

I was happy with the few friends I had and didn't worry about the social labels some folks may have attached.

bbeck:

Shit, you're still in the Philosophy Club. :>)

I have 3 more wretched weeks in highschool. UoMaryland here I come!

the #1 reason I don't like it is I have to get up at 5:50 every morning.

The #2 reason is the students. Sure, you "get to know them" but 99% of female highschoolers are flakey, and all the males are wanna-be gangsters.

Being the only relatively Conservative person there doesn't help either. Bush has become "my man" because I don't redicule his intelligence as a critique of his policy.

generally, me either. but in social conventions, it seems more correct.

Ha ha, but what happens if you reject social conventions in toto?

I've known too many people who just don't fit into the boxes of labels that people have for others. Unfortunately, when they DO fit, the fit's far less flattering than otherwise.

I know you were just jokin' around, Hob, and don't worry, I'm not getting serious. The reason I asked about "cool" is because that implies a certain superiority to the "uncool," and I don't think even loads of perception can make THAT the truth.

Later,
bbeck

Shit, you're still in the Philosophy Club. :>)

Hey Michael, maybe I'm just a One Woman Club. :)

I've been mistaken for MUCH worse.

But if you say I was member of the Pep Squad, I'll be pi$$ed!

Later,
bbeck

bbeck,

The chick wearing the ACE T-shirt definitely looked cool!!!!

Greg,

Just hold on. Soon you will be in college where only 95% of the girls are flakey.....

there are doodles in the margins of Exodus where I got bored during Sunday School.

A word of advice for all you pervs who get bored during Sunday School, head for Song of Solomon if you want to check out the hot stuff.

But if you say I was member of the Pep Squad, I'll be pi$$ed!

No effing way were you in the Pep Squad. We totally agree on that.

That's not to say that you didn't try out for the Pep Squad.

That's not to say that you didn't try out for the Pep Squad.

HA. Not in this lifetime or any others.

Later,
bbeck

RWS, so big knockers are cool? Hee hee, then I wasn't cool until after I had kids. :)

Or is a B cup cool for HS?

Later,
bbeck

Ok, had to wait till I got home to see that...it was pretty funny (and new to me... this is all, like, new to me). Actually some pretty solid Christian messages in there - not mocking at all (that "me so holy" was a little scary, but only recalling the reference).

Anyway, good laugh - thanks.

Monty, I don't have a KJV handy, but if that's done in the New Testament, it probably was a translation hightlight. When writing in Greek, sometimes the writer would use the present tense for emphasis even though the action took place in the past. The translators go ahead and use the proper past tense, but give you a heads up that the text used present.

Hob, I knew exactly what you meant there... but I think you have to be a guy to get it. RWS being mom probably makes it harder to understand (bet she asks her husband about it though!)

RWS, you didn't put out? Well, there you go. This whole Texas legislature/cheerleader thing is totally overblown.

Michael, Oh boy, Poetry Club! My school didn't have one, but there is a notebook somewhere that I'd pay good money to make sure nobody ever sees, yes.

Our love,
Has gone down the tubes,
All because Patty,
Has bigger boobs.
Die Bastard !!

Shit, I'm confused now. I was an AV nerd, in band, and a cheerleader. Bunch of bitches, though, really. They just wanted me for my backflip. FTR, I never played D&D.

They just wanted me for my backflip.

Well now, let's not get totally OT. What was your cup size?

Ah...dental hygenists...

I had braces as a teen. Best damn two years of my life.

There is nothing more desperate than a 14 year old male.

Carin, let's hear it for bustin' stereotypes!

Since Michael was so bad at guessing, I was in the French Club (an officer, no less), the Math-Science Club, I took choir every year I was in school, and was in the Marching Band Flag Corps (orange shorts and black marching boots -- MUCH sexier than the chicks on the sidelines). My electives included physics, chemistry, drafting, Greek studies, the aforementioned philosophy, and all the upper-level math offered by my HS. I didn't hang with the sociable types because I never SAW them; they weren't in any of my classes. I didn't play DnD until I was in college and married. I had the same boyfriend for years, who had graduated 3 years before me and wasn't in college but owned his own successful business. He was a guest at my wedding and actually provided some of the decor.

As for labels, I considered my a geek and I still do. But I think I define that a li'l differently than others might.

Later,
bbeck

Band camp... who'da thunk..

Dave, you need to read my love experience in high school. Then you will understand. (I didn't put out in college either) *polishes halo*

http://rightwingsparkle.blogspot.com/2005/04/in-love.html

Nicely written, RWS.

Made me remember why I don't look for old high school friends - didn't have any real girlfriends back then, because I was a bit of a geek.

Thank heavens for college.

Ok RWS, are you sure? Cause, that "love blackout" thing, that could'a been something he slipped in your drink.

Well, ok, technically, that would have been date rape and not putting out.

I didn't put out either.

Not for lack of trying.

Or is a B cup cool for HS?

Ask Lipstick Dynamite. I'm guessing that Patty could snag any guy that either of you were interested in.

What? High school boys are shallow?

I'm guessing that Patty could snag any guy that either of you were interested in.

Honey, I never had any trouble bagging any guy I wanted without resorting to violence. Usually.

And I kept the best one I caught. I really had to pound him over the head before he realized I was interested.

Later,
bbeck

RWS:

OK, just read about your stupid high school puppy love. For Pete's sake. How maudlin, how trite.

*Blubbering uncontrollably, Michael reaches for Jack*

Patty was a C-cup. But the worst part was--she was nice, so I couldn't hate her.

Bitch.

I never had any trouble bagging any guy I wanted without resorting to violence.

Y'know, if you look long enough, you're going to find a guy who's into the whole math-geek-philosopher-frenchie-band-camp-veteran-with-small-tits-I'm-A-Person thing. Good for you. Hope you guys are happy.

Does he play clarinet?

Just curious.

So a B-cup WAS "small," Michael? Well, thank goodness I'm a 3-D now.

And no, the hubby played trumpet. And was a quarterback in HS (which I didn't hold against him). He wasn't so much into the math-geek-philosopher-etc thing as he was the unrepulsive-brainy-chick-who-can-swallow-a-sausage-whole thing.

Later,
bbeck

Michael, I'm hip. I laughed. I cried. It became a part of me.

bbeck, I've already complimented you on your lovely rack. I would feel wrong talking about it further.

I'd get over it. But I would feel wrong.

awwww... I keep making Michael cry.

I just wish I didn't keep making him drink.

LOL, Dave.

Speaking of TX, I just bought some Six Flags season tickets online (I'm in a bordering state) for $45 each! I hope to make much use of them this summer.

Later,
bbeck

It's called the "Itty Bitty Titty Commitee".

Half my female friends are members, and the other half are more than endowed.

B-cup is in the IBTC.

*Still blubbering from the RWS post, Michael decides to attempt a moment of self-revelation*

When I was in junior high school in Michigan, I enrolled in band class because I wanted to play the saxophone. I thought the sax was cool. And it is. A sax is sexy. It is the instrument that most closely approximates the human voice.

The school sent me home with the advice that I should start off on the frigging clarinet, and I could always switch to sax later. This appealed to my parents, because a clarinet costs about one-third as much as a sax. So I ended up playing a clarinet and feeling like a dork. I played a clarinet in the frigging Boy Scout Marching Band in my district. By the time I got to high school, I quit.

I could have been David Sanborn.

Many years later, I figured out what they had done. Too many kids want to play saxophone, and too few kids want to play clarinet. So I got stuck playing the frigging clarinet because the school just needed more clarinets.

In Maryland, my daughter enrolled in band class in middle school because she wanted to play the sax (I had never mentioned anything about the sax to her, she just thought it was cool). She came home with the advice that she should start off on the clarinet, and that she could always switch to sax later.

Needless to say, I went apeshit.

I told her to tell the band director that her Dad had already bought her a saxophone, and that is what she wanted to play. Then we got in the car and bought a saxophone.

And she did play the sax. So did her brother. During their high school years, both of them were in bands that went to the Bands of America national finals and placed in the top ten. I was there.

B-cup is in the IBTC.

All righty then. Garsh, I guess I had to rely on my personality to find a guy in those pancake days! Thank Heavens I don't have to do THAT anymore!

Later,
bbeck

You're right, Michael, saxes are WAY more expensive than clarinets (although the wood upgrade we got was $1200, kinda pricey for a 12-yr-old). My daughter plays clarinet because she asked to play it. However, we've talked about her playing sax with private lessons. There's no law that says you can't do both...and then some. :)

It really means a lot when the parents can be there for those things. It's why I don't work, so I can be at their disposal.

Later,
bbeck

Michael...that was a beautiful story, and explains a lot.

I was a brass player, and always wondered why some of the guys in the band chose to play the clarinet, or worse, the oboe.

Now I know, like GI Joe said, that's half the battle.

Does anybody remember the flutaphone? (sp?)

well, now we know why Michael drinks.

He never got enough sax.

Hee hee*oh man, I crack myself up!!!

Garsh, I guess I had to rely on my personality to find a guy

Get real. I think you have already mentioned that you led with your sausage-swallowing capabilities.

Cup size irrelevant, in that case.

Ok, I know I am totally linkwhoring here and I apologize, but if you enjoyed my other posts Michael and David. Get out the tissue box for this one. My favorite.

http://rightwingsparkle.blogspot.com/2004/11/thanksgiving.html

I don't remember the flutaphone?

What is it? Woodwind?

RWS:

If I read another one of your posts and end up in another blubberfest, are you going to drive me to the AA meetings?

sure.

bbeck wrote:
I really had to pound him over the head before he realized I was interested.

Oh please, they're all like that.

Though reaching into their pants gets the message across quicker.

Uhh... so my best friend said.

Slub, no it was a small plastic version of a clarinet. They gave it out to kids to get them started on music and groom future band members. Boys got a black one, girls got a white one.

So I learned early on that I have no musical talent.

SUE!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, Sue, if they don't get it, grab them by the flutaphone!! ;)

I think you have already mentioned that you led with your sausage-swallowing capabilities.

Well, technically, that's part of one's personality. And it's a talent, too. But it's hardly what I led with. ;)

And LOL@ Sue. And I don't think ALL guys were like that -- you didn't always have to club them like a baby seal to get attention -- but the ones worth keeping definitely are.

Later,
bbeck

SUE!!!!!!!!!!

O most gracious Flower of Southern Womanhood, I have previously advised you. Flee this site. Preserve your innocence.

But I'm bored and ya'll are funny.

In a peverse kind of way.

But still......

LD - Thanks. I remember them now. In fact, I have a horrible memory of a school play where we had a chorus of the blasted things all honking away.

And my gosh, this thread is going nuts. If you guys keep this up, Ace is going to have to open another flirt thread.

Who is Ace?

Oh yeah. This is his blog. But he isn't showing up, so...let's talk about him!

What to say about Ace...well, he probably has a life since he's not here with us.

Sublog,

I know...how rude of him!

Actually, there's always the possibility that he and the rest of the people who normally post here might be...asleep.

Hm...I can't really imagine it, but anything's possible.

Darn insomnia. I've got hours to go before I'm tired.

But it's hardly what I led with

bbeck:

So you led with ---- what? Your credentials as a member of the Math-Science Club? I don't think so. And your B cup wasn't exactly rocking his world.

Oh wait. Your free-thinking I-am-who-I-am schtick.

Nah, I don't don't think so.

Just acknowledge that you are a world-class sausage-swallower and rejoice that it worked out well for you. What's wrong with that?

Sorry, Michael, no can do. Maybe YOU aren't impressed by women with brains, but -- and I hope you're sitting down right now -- some guys ARE.

Whoa, I could here your gasp all this distance!

Later,
bbeck

And my gosh, this thread is going nuts. If you guys keep this up, Ace is going to have to open another flirt thread.

Let the record show that I have only discussed Patty's boobs. Not my own. So don't blame me.

*polishing halo* - stealing RWS's line...

Whoa, I could here your gasp all this distance!

LOL!

Good night.

You people have left the planet. Now I have to deal with mental images of bbeck's boobs, RWS's fidelity thing (is that like integrity), Michael going God knows where...and, and, I want to SING

I played bass and rhythm guitar way back when. Still do.

I just can't stay up as late as I used to.

It still pays about the same.

I played bass and rhythm guitar way back when. Still do.

NOW we have the answer...

DAVE IS COOL!

:)

Night all.

Later,
bbeck

oh yeah, the butter doesn't melt in my mouth.

I feel badly, lying at my age. Oh wait, I'm ok now.

Monty, the italics in the KJV (and some other translations) are there to denote when the translators deviated from a word for word translation and added a word or phrase in English for clarification. Usually the italicized words are understood or implied by the original text, but not actually spelled out as they need to be in English.

Think of them as parenthetical clarifications.

I believe this is explained in the forword of most Bibles.

Alas, late to this thread...interesting revelations, and in one case, Tituses.

I lettered in football my senior year, though I think it was less of a "star athlete" letter and more of a "we already gave away the 'honorary coach' title and the only spare whistle to the spastic kid who fetches water" letter.

So yeah, not cool.

If by "cool" in HS we mean popular in relation to the rest of your class, then yeah I was cool enough, in a good fun stereotypical way that a lot of people probably hated, but it never held me back. No ECs other than sports. Great times

and you folks get weird after hours

A hot chick asked me out for a date.
"7:30, my place, don't be late!"
Aye, there was the rub:
The Poetry Club
Was meeting from 7 till 8.

I believe this is explained in the forword of most Bibles.

And had I not fallen away, I would have know that....

I found my old Bible after rummaging around downstairs, but apparently I got the cut-rate version of the KJV because all mine has for front-matter is a few pages of various translations of the Lord's Prayer, an admonition for youngsters to "live a Godly life", and then it goes right into Genesis after a the title pages. Interesting note: there is no colophon or imprint on my Bible! I wonder if it was privately printed and distributed?

My Bible has some really cheesy illustrations. In my copy, Jesus looks suspiciously like Eric Clapton when he was still playing with Derek and the Dominos. The one of David and Goliath is cool, though, as is the one where Samson is pulling down the temple of Dagon.

I studied beryllium and boron;
Social-skills-wise, I was quite a moron.
I asked Patty Mae
For a roll in a hay.
"I can't!", she replied, "There's a war on!"

(Alternate first line: "I read all about Bilbo and Sauron")

hehe..

Late to the party, but yeah, I liked that parody.

I'm predicting big cowbell for today.

Time to delurk, as it appears I'm in the right place after all.

I competed in Debate and Speech, was a member of the Drama club, camped out in the computer room every chance I got (this was back in the 70's) and in Middle School played the clarinet. As if that wasn't geeky enough, I was asked if I wanted to switch to bassoon in my last year in MS, which I did. Bassoon. You know the thing that looks like a bazooka and sounds like a baritone duck with a head cold...

Oh I know the bassoon, Desert Cat.

Believe me, I know the bassoon.

I asked to play it.

Er, "... a roll in THE hay."

And I wasn't even drunk when I posted that. Have I become that retarded?

(Don't answer that)

DIE, THREAD, DIE!!!!!!!

*Drives wooden stake through keyboard*