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May 05, 2005

Annan Oil-For-Food Docs Handed Over to Congress

... by a man who is most definitely slicin' like an f'n' hammer, FBI agent Robert Parton.

Documents involving actions taken by U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan in the Oil-for-Food investigation were handed over to Congress on Wednesday night, FOX News has learned.
The documents were given to federal lawmakers by Robert Parton, a former senior investigator on the Independent Inquiry Committee probing the $64 billion program.

Parton and Miranda Duncan (search), who both resigned from the panel last month in protest, have accused the IIC of downplaying Annan's role in the Oil-for-Food corruption scandal in an interim report released by the panel last March.

The documents were handed over after Parton was issued a subpoena by the House International Relations Committee on Friday night. Sen. Norm Coleman, R-Minn., chairman of the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, earlier was preparing subpoenas to force Parton and Duncan to testify. It was expected that those subpoenas could be issued as early as Thursday.

Congress has been trying to talk to Parton ever since his resignation two weeks ago. Last week, IIC head Paul Volcker tried to block such efforts by insisting that Parton and Duncan, both Americans, had diplomatic immunity.

And to trot out the same joke again: His claim of "diplomatic immunity" seems to be doing him as much good as it did Joss Ackland at the end of Lethal Weapon 2.

Chris Shays, who, you know, is just about the biggest pussy in the f'n' world, whines that Parton's cooperation with Congress will undermine amity between the blah blah blah blah blah.

Who gives a shit what Chris Shays thinks?

The best part:

Parton's attorney then wrote to the United Nations and to Volcker asking if they would instruct Parton to defy a Congressional subpoena.
When both the United Nations and the Volcker committee refused to answer, Parton took action and, on Wednesday night, handed over the boxes of documents to a congressional committee.

Hee, hee. "Put it in print that you want me to defy a Congressional subpoena in order to further a cover-up of the greatest dollar-amount swindle in human history. Put that in print, sign it, and send it to me. And then I'll think about it."

Robert Parton is on f'n' fire. Damn, I wish I had a Top Ten in me.

Thanks to Andy the Squirrel.

Obligatory Pat O'Brien Reference Update: Andy the Squirrel also offers:

"I don't normally do this. I don't know what's wrong with me. But. I. Want. to go CRAZY. With your oil. Let's do it. Let's get some barrels, let's get some money. But you gotta pay attention to Kojo. Kojo gets very jealous. If you're down with this, just wink."

posted by Ace at 12:48 PM

Comments

Have I ever mentioned that Norm Coleman has a very fine wife?

Posted by: Master of None on May 5, 2005 12:58 PM

Shays lives in my backyard and I regret voting for HIM every day. He needs to leave the party like that stooge Jeffords.

Posted by: Winston on May 5, 2005 12:59 PM

Every US diplomat posted to the UN should have to carry a card with them at all times, upon which is engraved the following message:

"You are a citizen of the United States. As a representative of that country, your job is to preserve, protect, and defend the people and Constitution of the United States. YOU DO NOT WORK *FOR* THE UN. YOU WORK *AT* THE UN."

Posted by: Monty on May 5, 2005 01:20 PM

That FoxNews report brought up an interesting point.

If the commission investigating the scandal was to be "independent" as Volcker claims is the case, then why would any of the investigating members be privy to UN perks such as "diplomatic immunity"?

Kind of moot at this point I think though. This puppy's gonna' blow, and blow big.

Color me giddy.

Posted by: Chad on May 5, 2005 01:29 PM

If the commission investigating the scandal was to be "independent" as Volcker claims is the case, then why would any of the investigating members be privy to UN perks such as "diplomatic immunity"?

Excellent, excellent point Chad!

Posted by: Grace on May 5, 2005 01:37 PM

Did you notice who Parton's lawyer is? Lanny Davis?!!

WTF?

Posted by: Sean M. on May 5, 2005 01:48 PM

Not sure why I got the new title, but it's growing on me.

That point was made in the article. The bottom line is, if this was a "sunshine is the best disinfectant" investigation, then sun should, you know, shine. But instead, you have an "independent" panel whose members are resigning in protest, and vague claims to diplomatic immunity being bandied about.

Know this: Andy the Squirrel says Kofi is cooked. And so is St. Volker. This was a set up from the beginning. Volker et al picked yes men that would rubber stamp whatever idiotic conclusion he came up with. A little tut tut to the UN, but no blood, no foul, business as usual.

Somewhere along the line, Parton and this other woman either grew a pair, saw something that was SO bad they couldn't let go, or were totally misjudged by Volker and Annan as to their ability to look the other way.

Look at how bad it is now: It sounds like something is in these documents that is pretty damning. Kofi now can no longer say, "I made a mistake, let's move on". He's compounded his corruption with an attempted coverup.

All it takes is one honest guy to totally shithole your whole conspiracy.

Sounds to me like we have an honest guy AND an honest gal. Kofi's fucked. And finallly, FINALLY, someone knocks the plastic halo off St. Volker.

Posted by: Andy the Squirrel on May 5, 2005 01:53 PM

Norm Coleman is on f'n' fire™ too.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on May 5, 2005 02:00 PM

Isn't there a fucking war on?

Posted by: Mob on May 5, 2005 02:05 PM

I noticed Parton's attorney was Lanny Davis. So as much as I want Parton to talk, now that Lanny Davis is his attorney I know the juice has been spiked with Clintonian UN defenders.

Davis does have experience with congressional investigations. Unfortunately he is an expert at delaying and obstructing them.

Posted by: Brennan on May 5, 2005 04:50 PM

So, if Chris Shays' testicles actually HAD descended, would any of us know who the heck this clown is?

I find it amazing that Shays is a disciplined maverick while Zell Miller was a raving psychopath.
-=Mike

Posted by: MikeSC on May 9, 2005 03:09 AM