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May 03, 2005

More on V-Day

Some of you may object to my continued dwelling on this story, suspecting that this is all just a pretext to use the word "vagina" in mixed company.

Thank you for noticing!

But Victory Soap (Andrea Harris, I presume) has further thoughts on the matter:

The widely-touted "fear of the vagina" died when the Pill was invented; that fear was born of the idea that women could chain men to them by their fruitful wombs; once the womb could be made unfruitful, there went the idea that the vagina was dangerous. Anyway, thanks to the Pill women's one physical weapon, as it were, was "disarmed." No one now is seriously afraid of a vagina.

Well, I wouldn't go that far. Afraid? Maybe not. But it still produces a great amount of anxiety in men. I mean-- what the hell is it? What's going on with that whole confusing set-up?

It's at least several orders of magnitude more anxiety-inducing than trying to add a second CD drive to your computer. At least for that you can call up Jaglesh in Bombay for tech-assistance.

Hell, I might even call up Jaglesh to find out what the hell is going on with a woman's dirty parts. But, being a guy, he won't have any f'n' clue either. He'll just keep saying "Have you tried rebooting?" and "Are you sure you have the most current drivers?"

Which is, you know, what Jaglesh says for everything, anyway.

Which is why Eve Ensler is so stupid. .... What women want is the same thing they've always wanted: to be taken seriously, to be thought something more than her body parts. Thanks to Eve Ensler and her many fans, women are being made to look more and more frivolous and stupid every day, and as we can see, men are still feared as the wielders of the Fearsome Penis, Hammer of Thor, that makes fainting maidens of both sexes, at least in the halls of academe, scream and run.

Would that it were so.

Modern-day feminists keep asking themselves why more and more women are turning away from NOW and other trad-fem groups in favor of horrid old male-dominated institutions like marriage, motherhood and and the Catholic Church... and again and again the feminists complacently blame it on those icky boys and their all-powerful phalluses. Feminism is being marginalized out of existence by the feminists; it's not a tragedy, though -- it's a farce. But the joke's on us.

This is just further evidence that in any aggregation of like-minded individuals, it will not be long before the most extreme and attention-craving will control everything and drive the more sensible and centered persons into apostacy.

In little political groups, you don't get attention or stature or "bad boy"/"riot grrl" points by proposing sensible propaganda that has a good chance of persuading some readers or listeners. Nope. You get attention and stature by proposing that you begin wacking US Senators (Vietnam Veterans Against the War) or that you stage a "Vag-In" in the campus administration building, where everyone strips to underwear emblazoned with the slogans "Keep Your Agenda Off My Pudenda!" and "You Can't Spell 'Uterus" without 'U' and 'US.'"

posted by Ace at 12:34 PM

Comments

Wise words that the Conservative chorus would do as well to mind as the Liberal.

Posted by: vonKreedon on May 3, 2005 12:43 PM

My Penisaurus Rex instills fear, you better believe it!

Posted by: Uncle Jefe on May 3, 2005 12:45 PM

Sometimes I wonder if it's too late.

The conservative chorus can be pretty stupid sometimes.

Posted by: Slublog on May 3, 2005 12:46 PM

in any aggregation of like-minded individuals, it will not be long before the most extreme and attention-craving will control everything

The Ace of Spades HQ model in action, baby!

And my penis is munificent!

Posted by: hobgoblin on May 3, 2005 12:58 PM

Hammer of Thor, eh?

Hafta remember that one.

Oh, and my Penis is Quietly Contemplative!

Posted by: The Warden on May 3, 2005 01:01 PM

The Dread Penis Roberts!

Which would work better if my name was Roberts...

Posted by: Alex_fs on May 3, 2005 01:09 PM

men are still feared as the wielders of the Fearsome Penis, Hammer of Thor, that makes fainting maidens of both sexes, at least in the halls of academe, scream and run.

Gives new meaning to the old saying: "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!" Just like Jen-gis Khan baby, yeah!

Posted by: fat kid aka Thor on May 3, 2005 01:23 PM

Don't forget Large Helmet.

Posted by: Bithead on May 3, 2005 01:34 PM

Makes us scream yes, but not so much with the running. ;-)

I think where the feminist failed is that uhm, sex is fun. And villifying the source of orgasms, generally not so interesting as orgasms.

Posted by: Shinobi on May 3, 2005 01:34 PM

Dread Penis Roberts.

I now have a better name for my Gannon.

Posted by: Sharp as a Marble on May 3, 2005 01:46 PM

Fear the almighty hammer of Thor! Fear it!!

Man, that works on all kinds of levels. I'm gonna use that the next time I have an "overnight guest" and see what happens:

1) I wake up alone and unfilfilled, and quite possibly with nasty bruises in tender parts; or

2) The good lady has been so overcome with my rhetoric that my subsequent mediocre performance has been clouded in her mind, leaving only the magnificent memories of the almighty hammer of Thor.

There is always the possibility of a third scenario where the comely lass is overcome with giggles at my obviously-exaggerated claims, but consents nonetheless to be ravished anon. Who knows? I might even get dork-style points for trying the "Thor's hammer" thing.

Posted by: Monty on May 3, 2005 02:18 PM

" Victory Soap (Andrea Harris, I presume)"

Yup, the one and only.

Posted by: Andrea Harris on May 3, 2005 02:19 PM

Best line in her article, of course, was her calling the "Vagina Monologues" a "menstrual show."

Posted by: carin on May 3, 2005 02:31 PM

Modern-day feminists keep asking themselves why more and more women are turning away from NOW and other trad-fem groups in favor of horrid old male-dominated institutions like marriage, motherhood and and the Catholic Church...

ACE is right: Would that it were so...

and again and again the feminists complacently blame it on those icky boys and their all-powerful phalluses. Feminism is being marginalized out of existence by the feminists; it's not a tragedy, though -- it's a farce. But the joke's on us.

Again: Would that it were so...

While I can see progress among young women, older women have set up the "good old girl network" that wields enormous wealth, power and clout as women have never done before in the history of the world, and not for the better. Has it made them better mothers and wives, which is what really counts? No, quite the opposite. When there is a constant tug-of-war between job and family all suffer, as they do today.

But the truth is that it is men, and especially straight, white men, who have been marginalized.

I know this invites slings and arrows so have at it!

Posted by: 72 VIRGINS on May 3, 2005 03:02 PM

Alex_fs = The Dread Penis Roberts! As you wish...

Posted by: tinkerbelle on May 3, 2005 03:02 PM

Been at it since yesterday, now we're just running on cooter fumes ...

Posted by: pooter and cooter on May 3, 2005 03:43 PM

None of you know shit from shinola!

Posted by: shit from shinola on May 3, 2005 05:13 PM

MY PENIS IS A PERSON!

/nothing

Posted by: James on May 3, 2005 05:17 PM

Where is BOB DOLE'S COCK when we need an expert opinioon from an anthropomorphic, fire-breathing schlong?

Posted by: Michael on May 3, 2005 07:19 PM