Ace,

you forgot to add that it made you plotz

I did like the bit about "the impermissibility of any sexual act that does not involve the depositing of semen in a fertile uterus". If I could boast that sort of length and/or muzzle velocity, I'd probably never think about anything but sex either.

Sullivan is the living (with HIV, let's not forgot - oh, as if he'd let us) embodiment of everything bad in a woman. He's a shrieking, hysterical, ignorant but opinionated, insecure and barely menopausal illiterate harpy getting premature hot flashes during "PMS" (it's happened regularly since you were in your teens, you fucking idiot, either tone your body or GET OVER IT) on a 45 minute long-distance conference call with half a dozen of his "girlfriends," neurotically overanalyzing every vocal tic his most recent date has ever exhibited in his entire life.

"All about sex?" If only, Professor Bainbridge. If only.

Clearly, the new pope is gob-smackingly vile.

I would consider suicide, but quite frankly, it seems like such a hassle.

Agreed, Andrew, er Ace.

As an alternative, have you considered bulimic purging?

If now Bolton is confirmed, this day will just be too, too much for sensitive, thinking internationalist conservatives like us to stand.

I expect the Abu Ghraib-ish mobs to arrive soon and force everyone into sex acts that involve injecting semen into gaping, fertile uteri.

The gobsmackingly vile horror of it. The horror.

Janie, pray very hard. You too, Tommy.

Toning your body gets rid of PMS?

Women stop menstruating below ~7% body fat. Nothing can get rid of "PMS," since it doesn't exist, except figuratively - as in the case of Excitable Andy.

Holy crap, Megan...that was the most brutal takedown of Sullivan I've ever seen.

Truly a thing of beauty.

Sir,

Andrew Sullivan was a strong supporter of President Bush's War on Terrorism effort until he (Sullivan) decided that Bush's failure to support homosexual marrige was the more important issue and left the Hawk camp for Kerry.

Sullivan tells us he's a homosexual Catholic (no conflict there in his mind) and now threatens to leave the Church because it doesn't conform to his worldview (rigidity of doctrine which comforts over one billion Catholics).

One starts to see a subtle pattern here. The facade of homosexual, politically conservative Catholic cracks and drops away, leaving only homosexuality. All intellectual mewlings to the contrary, everything for Mr. Sullivan ultimately devolves to sodomy. He has no core political, social, religious or cultural belief other than those that somehow must affirm sodomy. Being a homosexual, that's fine. It would even be consistant if he would admit it. But he doesn't. He presents himself as this great thinker, taking intellectually principaled stands formed by nuanced thought on diverse and complex issues. Right up until he throws a hissy fit because the President or the Pope or the PTA or the NRA or the Boy Scouts don't endorse sodomy.

He's not a conservative, he's a liberal. He's not Catholic, he's homosexual. In the terms of his chosen movement, Mr. Sullivan should "just get over it".

That's a mighty bigoted, reactionary comment, rcl, but then we're living in through the second Kristlenacht. I hope Ace will give you the Ernest Borgnine award as is your due.

Why couldn't the cardinals elect that spicey hot Maradiaga?

I think I'll go outside and lie on the chaisse lounge for awhile.

Pray for the Wildcats.

Bravo, megan. Bravo.

Is the absurd Kristallnacht reference close enough to invoke Godwin's Law?

Oh. Yeah, I knew that. I just wouldn't call going to a perhaps dangerously low bodfat level "toning your body".

Megan, I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you a "Derbyshire Award"...

I don't like Derbyshire's writing. :/

Someone should tell Arrogant Andy that a two thousand year old church is not going to change its fundamental teachings to accomodate the preferred sin of anti-church dilettante.
See, Andy knows he's a sinner. He knows what he's doing is wrong in the eyes of his faith, but he doesn't want to stop doing it. Thus he insists that his sin be allowed, so that he can have a clear conscience, yet continue to behave as he sees fit.
He wants to be enabled, but he's not going to get it from this church. Thank God!
He thinks that he and his "reformers" are going to eventually get into power. He and his fellow travelers cite the declining church attendance in the Northern Hemisphere as proof that the church is "out of touch". Newsflash: The church isn't supposed to be "in touch" it has to follow the way, the truth, and the light. Its not about doing what is popular, or trendy. That's what Anglicanism is for. And while it may be in decline in Europe, its still the fastest growing religion in the world. The places where it is growing the fastest are the ones that are most orthodox. Which kinda puts a big hole in Sully's argument.

and Iblis, here in the States, it's the orthodox parishes that are producing the most vocations, and the orthodox orders and seminaries that are full to capacity.

the "liberal" "Catholic" movement is spent.

"I don't like Derbyshire's writing. :/"

You'll take whatever award I give you. This additional outburst has earned you a Sontag Award, a Begala Award, and a Scowcroft Award. Any further objections will be met with a Poseur Alert.

Can't I get a Michelle Malkin award? Or just get awarded Michelle Malkin, for a night or two?

Your fertile uterus gets you no awards and no rights on AceOfSullivan, missy.

I don't think Megan is interested in Ace. I think she wants the Malkin.

I'm filled with heart-ache that "Gaylord Ravenel" might have designs on me, of course.

Well, who wouldn't want the Malkin?

In the words of a famous cartoon skunk: "le rowr, rowr".

MM is yummy, but the new picture is ...uh...unflattering.

Can you please refrain from using the name Andrew Sullivan and the word "ass" in the same post?

Thanks.

Mr. G. Ravenal,

Pray for the Wildcats? What does this mean and how does it apply to Popestry and the beatific Andrew Sullivan? Something to do with Shatner, ativistic emoting and bad toupees? Or perhaps Andy Griffith's transformation from the amiable Sheriff Andy to a viscious psychotic criminal South o' the Border. Perhaps some veiled reference to Greg Brady's preference for all things Greek in real life, hmmm?

Regarding the venerable Ernest Borgenine. I will happily share an association with this fine example of virile, hirsute knuckled North American primate so long as it is in referenece to his brilliant portrayl of the sadistic and deranged railroad dick "Shack" from Emperor of the North, as opposed to the larcenous and bumbling McHale.

Sincerely,
rcl

(This rcl fellow is okay, despite being a vile jackboot-wearing reactionary bigot.)

RCL, how entirely apposite. Others have said the same thing re Sullivan, but not quite so directly. Yes, that and only that is the sine qua non for the boy. That he'd jettison the true faith, the crusade against terror, and God knows how many other putatively heart-felt positions for the view with which he feels most comfortable is troubling.

Megan, your take down was truly poetic, I agree. Though I will say, as a point of method, I disagree with your inclusion of "you fucking idiot." I think the direct insult degrades the overall quality and sympathy of the hyperbolic razing. Something to consider... But, otherwise, thanks for a scathing and hilarious post.

Actually, suicide is pretty easy. Go for it! :)