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April 19, 2005

Papalblogging

Pundit Guy has all the links and facts-at-your-fingertips you could want.

I would be remiss not to note the reaction of Andrew Sullivan to the election of Benedict XVI as Pope.

Lord knows, he's not the easiest person to offend:

And what is the creed of the Church? That is for the Grand Inquisitor to decide. Everything else-- especially faithful attempts to question and understand the faith itself -- is "human trickery." It would be hard to over-state the radicalism of this decision.

But Andy will give it his level-best, no doubt.

It's not simply a continuation of John Paul II. It's a full-scale attack on the reformist wing of the church. The swiftness of the decision and the polarizing nature of this selection foretell a coming civil war within Catholicism. The space for dissidence, previously tiny, is now extinct. And the attack on individual political freedom is just beginning.

Remember: This was the guy that just a couple of years ago was considered reasonable.

Is there anything that can pass without Andrew Sullivan having an "Eeek! A mouse" burst of hysteria? Can any event occur without him swooning from a bad case of the vapors?

Ratchet. It. Down, Andrew. Screeching is not persusave. Get your shit under control posthaste or you'll wind up going from "joke" to "crank."

But Wait, Ace, Is Andrew Sullivan Still In Shock? Thanks for asking. As it turns out, he is:

STILL IN SHOCK: Thanks for your emails both sympathizing and telling me to leave the Church entirely. But I am still in shock.

Someone needs to do a color-coded Andrew Sullivan Outrage Warning System, ranging from "chagrined" to "appalled" to "disgusted" to "outraged" to "shocked" to "sickened" to "actually offended, though Lord knows he's not the easiest person to offend."

Pretty much it would quiver between "shocked" and "sickened" day in, day out.

I grew weary of using exclamation points to parody Wonkette.

Do I have it in me to attempt, for an entire day, to satirize Andrew Sullivan's hysterical overemotionalism about Every. F'n'. Issue. Under the Sun?

We'll see. I just think that feigning a freak-out over everygoddamnthing would get to be really wearying. How the hell does this ninny find the energy?

I (as you bastards keep razzing me about) suffered from chronic and nearly debilitating panic attacks, and I don't think I ever succumbed to the gibbering hyperhysteria Sullivan manages on a daily basis.

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR EMAILS OF SYMPATHY ON THIS BLACK DAY: Slublog sends:

It's both sad and fun to watch, actually.
Ever notice how when he's saying something completely outrageous, he always manages to find someone who agrees with him via email?

That is intesting, Slu.

EMAIL OF THE DAY:

Hey! What a great site you have here! Agree with everything you say!
You're the only one who really gets it!

That's from some guy named "Pure Discount Viagro."

ALL IS LOST: Thanks for this wonderful email. My spirit was crushed like meal in a mill, but now this lovely missive from "AndrewS" puts a smile on my face for the first time since I can remember... must have been yesterday, before this afternoon's regularly-scheduled freak-out.

Anyway, AndrewS apparently agrees with me wholeheartedly, and thus is credited with the the SUPER-EMAIL OF THE DAY:

THE FUNDAMENTALIST TRIUMPH: And so the Catholic church accelerates its turn toward toward authoritarianism, hostility to modernity, assertion of papal supremacy and quashing of internal debate and dissent. We are back to the nineteenth century. Maybe this is a necessary moment. Maybe pressing this movement to its logical conclusion will clarify things. But those of us who are struggling against what our Church is becoming, and the repressive priorities it is embracing, can only contemplate a form of despair. The Grand Inquisitor, who has essentially run the Church for the last few years, is now the public face. John Paul II will soon be seen as a liberal. The hard right has now cemented its complete control of the Catholic church. And so ... to prayer. What else do we now have?

There's always Ecstacy, you know.

posted by Ace at 02:54 PM

Comments

Yeah, Sully is definitely turning into the boy who cried, "GAAAHHH!! A mouse!!!!" one too many times. As I've said before, he's the Richard Harris of political commentators.

Posted by: utron on April 19, 2005 02:58 PM

Get your shit under control posthaste or you'll wind up going from "joke" to "crank."

Too late.

Posted by: Rocketeer67 on April 19, 2005 03:00 PM

this is fun to watch.

Posted by: hobgoblin on April 19, 2005 03:03 PM

Well, I find it gob-smackingly vile that the Pope of the effing Catholic church (of all people) doesn't celebrate and cherish Andy's love for "the boyfriend."

(Plus, I hear he's strongly anti-beagle.)

Posted by: Sean M. on April 19, 2005 03:05 PM

It's both sad and fun to watch, actually.

Ever notice how when he's saying something completely outrageous, he always manages to find someone who agrees with him via email?

Pathetic.

Posted by: Slublog on April 19, 2005 03:07 PM

Notice how the attacks (on JPII, or now with BXVI) invariably avoid quoting directly from the pope in question. Considering how much each of these popes has written (obviously, in the case of BXVI, prior to his elevation), this takes quite a lot of effort.

I'm not as up on their writings, say, as the folks at NRO (and their contributors), but each time I have seen quotes and extended clips from their writings, they always have a thoughtfulness, intelligence and (dare I say it) a nuance that the ignorant blockheads in the media and the knee-jerk pope critics never address.

You read the criticisms, and then read the writings, and I defy you to square them.

Habemus papem.

Posted by: NickS on April 19, 2005 03:15 PM

Ratchet. It. Down, Andrew.

For once, I agree with you about Sullivan. This is full-blown hysteria. "Eeek, a mouse!" sums it up perfectly.

Apparently it's now radical and divisive to expect the Church to strive for some sort of constancy amid the fickle whims of humanity.

Whatever. What Church, exactly, did Andrew think he was a member of all these years?

Posted by: ilyka on April 19, 2005 03:17 PM

Dear Andy:

What part of "the pope is Catholic" do you not understand? Would this not be a fine opportunity to remember that according to your faith, the election of a pope is guided by the Holy Spirit (a.k.a. God)? Does this not, perhaps, suggest anything to you?

I hope that you do indeed pray and reflect. One can never go wrong there, but it is what you do AFTERWARDS that will be most telling.

Posted by: NickS on April 19, 2005 03:28 PM

Nick S.,

Bloody brilliant. Absolutely spot-on.

I think that's the opposite of "gobsmakingly vile."

Posted by: Rocketeer67 on April 19, 2005 03:30 PM

A pledge drive and a subsequent vacation might calm him down.

Posted by: tachyonshuggy on April 19, 2005 03:31 PM

Andrew won't be happy until the Church redacts the admonitions agains homosexual behavior. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Defense Guy on April 19, 2005 03:32 PM

Does "gob-smacked" rank above or below "sickened?" I'm never sure with these Britishisms.

Since I'm not a Catholic, I have a hard time caring who the next pope is, but being that ol' Ratzy has so many liberal panties in a bunch, he can't be all bad!

Posted by: Cynical Nation on April 19, 2005 03:34 PM

I can't, for the life of me, imagine what it is Sullivan wants from his church. Some conform to the world malleability? If he seeks moral 'lifestyle' approval granted down from the holier-than-thou, isn't the MSM/left's kiss of approval enough? TV, music, 'enlighted society'... must God too bend to his will?

Posted by: Pope Rawmuscleglutius IV on April 19, 2005 03:37 PM

...I find it gob-smackingly vile...

What is a "gob" anyway? I just want to know what Andrew is smacking.

Posted by: Bob on April 19, 2005 03:40 PM

Cynical nation,

That's probably the best way to look at it, no matter where you're coming from.

A man is known by the enemies he makes.

and great post Nick. The Catechism IS what it means to be Catholic. Rather than saying, 'I guess I'm not Cathiolic" when folks like Sully see something they dont like, they say "the Catechism is wrong."

Um, yeah, OK then.

I'll say it again: Gay political activism (and much of liberal politics) is merely narcissism elevated and expanded to a political philosophy.

Posted by: hobgoblin on April 19, 2005 03:41 PM

Bob,

a face

Posted by: hobgoblin on April 19, 2005 03:42 PM

Hobgoblin,

I was more asking for comedic effect, but thanks. ;-)

According to the dictionary, it's specifically the mouth:

Main Entry: 2 gob Pronunciation: 'gob, 'gäb Function: noun Etymology: probably from Scottish Gaelic, mouth & Irish, beak, pursed mouth chiefly British : MOUTH

So I guess to smack your gob is to slap your hand over your mouth in surprise. Heh. That definitely fits in with Andy's perpetually distressed tone.

Posted by: Bob on April 19, 2005 03:51 PM

Oh well. Looks like it's gonna be another few years before the Church blesses barebacking as a way to get closer to God.

Darn. And here I was all eager to try it.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on April 19, 2005 03:55 PM

I like what a twenty-something semenarian said about the Church being behind the times:

It is ironic that the people who are saying this the loudest are all old, while the people who oppose this the most are like me, young.

Posted by: 72VIRGINS on April 19, 2005 03:57 PM

Yes, Yes,

Ace please,

An Andrew Sullivan Outrage Warning System.

Rusty

Posted by: Rusty wilson on April 19, 2005 03:58 PM

News Commentator #1: There's the white smoke coming from the chimney; we have a new pope.

News Commentator #2: Uh, no, Jim, that white smoke is actually coming from Andrew Sullivan's ears...

Posted by: OregonMuse on April 19, 2005 04:10 PM

Wait, that last joke about smoke coming out of Sully's ears wasn't mine, I read it on another blog, but I forget which one.

Posted by: OregonMuse on April 19, 2005 04:12 PM

All Sullivan has to do is draw some really crappy cartoons and he'll become the Ted Rall of the Right.

Posted by: Laurence Simon on April 19, 2005 04:40 PM

Ace,this goes beyond Ecstacy. Its time to break out the meth!

Posted by: Iblis on April 19, 2005 04:40 PM

Well with all the "eek a mouse" stuff wouldn't that really make him the Nathan Lane of the blogosphere?

"Oh! I pierced the toast!!?

Posted by: Am I A Pundit Now? on April 19, 2005 04:42 PM

Bob,

since gob's my middle name, I just thought I'd help

;)

Actually, I think the "gob-smakingly" part isn't just what the viewer does, but evookes more of how plain insulting it is to be slapped across the face. "Gob smakingly" means personally insulting.

Vile, well, you know that part.

Posted by: hobgoblin on April 19, 2005 04:44 PM

"Ace,this goes beyond Ecstacy. Its time to break out the meth!"

No, I think we've gone straight to plaid on this one.
Time to break out the Jack Daniels Crystal Meth Slurpee.

Posted by: SCSIwuzzy on April 19, 2005 04:57 PM

What does Sullivan mean by "paypal supremacy"? Is this another pledge drive/extended vacation ploy?

Posted by: Dave in Texas on April 19, 2005 05:20 PM

Every time I think Andrew Sullivan can't become more of a loathsome, self-centered prick, he becomes an even more loathsome, more transparently vain and phallocentric jerk.

I'm not Catholic. I'm not religious. But I cannot stand Sullivan's prating, preening insistence that the Church sacrifice the very moral positions which have borne it aloft for 2000 or so years in order to sate his need to indulge in his personal sexual peccadilloes with a clean conscience. What a self-righteous ass.

Seriously, this sort of behavior pisses me off regardless of politics.

(Also, I still haven't forgiven Sullivan for nastily insulting my cousin a long time ago. I can vouch for the fact that he's every bit as arrogant and judgmental in person as he is on his blog, just in case anyone wasn't sure.)

Posted by: Jeff B. on April 19, 2005 06:35 PM

Is Andrew Sullivan Catholic?

If not was he planning on signing up?

Was there a less-Catholic alternative choice?

I thought the mantra was "NoAbortionOrCondomsOrWomenPriests" Oh My... lather rinse repeat

Or is he just upset about the Catholic Church's "Don'tAskDon'tTell" policy on Priests?

Posted by: DANEgerus on April 19, 2005 06:42 PM

There's always Ecstacy, you know.

That made laugh...

along withe gob smackingly vile comment...lol

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle on April 19, 2005 10:56 PM

Jeff B. - that sounds interesting. Tell more.

Posted by: Knemon on April 20, 2005 04:39 AM

I think ole Andrew's new schtick is pretty funny- actually. Look at all the brilliant posts from other bloggers it has inspired. Of course- that probably wasn't exactly his intent... but hey.

Jeff B- Deep breath... don't hold back now- tell us how you really feel.

Posted by: Jewels on April 20, 2005 07:58 AM

How did Andrew Sullivan go from reasonable and thoughtful to wanting to be the gay version of Ted Rall?

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Because as I demonstrated on my show, there were MANY young men that all woke up and decided to dress in Maroon shirts and light shorts on the day of the Charlie's assassination.

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Post here, showing Tyler Robinson's ammunition, matching this guy's own box. And it is an expanding-tip hollow-point round.

Boy these Internet Experts (TM) sure do get a lot of things wrong.

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